Lunch At The Senior Center

 

Today I met an old friend I haven't seen in over fifty years in person at a local senior center.

Instead of selecting a local restaurant to meet, I thought it would be a good idea to meet at this senior center that I pass every time I go to my local supermarket. 

BIG MISTAKE.

What was I thinking? 

I chose the senior center because I knew he belonged to a senior center in Lewes. I preferred not to go to that senior center because it's located off of Route One and I prefer to avoid Route One traffic whenever I can. I also didn't want to go to a local restaurant since that would reset in me paying upwards of forty dollars for lunch and I'm trying to be more careful with my spending. Lunch at the senior center only cost $3.50. Well, guess what? I had lunch and it was...............awful. AWFUL. Overcooked string beans, a little plastic cup of canned chopped apple, and two spoons of beef macaroni casserole. The beef macaroni casserole was edible at least but I hate macaroni pasta. UGH.

The biggest miscalculation on my part was that the senior center is not for me. Why? Because I'm a snob, that's why. I passed a table of four old men who were vacantly staring out into space. No conversation. Actually there was very little conversation at any of the tables. Even the ones where the ladies were sitting. And here I come in, a New Face and immediately attract all kinds of attention. Attention I didn't need.

Then of all the strange things, there was a DJ playing oldies music, too loud. I couldn't even have a conversation with my friend. I couldn't hear him and he could hear me. What was the deal with the DJ playing too loud music for lunch? I guess because this was an adult day care center and there was very little conversation with the people in the room so the music was to make it seem not quite so dead. Well folks, I ain't dead yet. I probably won't be going back even though I now have a membership. Strange, very strange. Just another reason why I'll never go into assisted living. I would rather be dead. That's just a slow death in one of those facilities. Good for some people or families I'm sure, but doesn't work for me. I'm just too independent and yes, a snob.

By the way, my meeting with my friend continued here at my home. We caught up on a lot from the past fifty some years. Next time we meet will be at his home. No more senior centers for me, at least.

Not my thing.

Sometimes Good Things Happen

 

2025 School/Real Estate Tax Bill!

Sometimes good things do happen! 

Not often but sometimes, good things actually do happen.

For months now I've been dreading receiving my 2025 Annual School/Real Estate tax bill. 

The reason is that Delaware this past year had a long overdue reassessment. You know what that usually means don't you folks? Reassessment is MORE taxes. 

The main reason I moved to Delaware twenty years ago was that I could no longer afford to pay my former home state of Pennsylvania's outrageously high school/real estate taxes. As a matter of fact, most of the retirees from surrounding states such as New Jersey, New York, and Virginia move to Delaware expressly for that reason, to escape the high taxes of their home states. Of the fifty-seven new homes in my development, fifty-six were retirees from surrounding states, mostly New Jersey, Pennsylvania and New York. 

My school/real estate taxes in Pennsylvania were approaching six figures (over $10,000 a year). I was only able to manage to stay in Pennsylvania for the last five years before I moved because my Mother was giving me and my brothers an annual gift of $10,000 a year of savings she had accumulated during her lifetime. Once she stopped doing that I had to move because I literally couldn't afford to live in Pennsylvania anymore. Pennsylvania not only has high school/real estate taxes but a sales tax, state income tax, a township tax and a personal property tax. When I worked in Philadelphia I also had to pay a wage tax of 5.625%. Pennsylvania just got too expensive to live in, I had to move. 

When I moved to Delaware I found out that the taxes that two of my neighbors, who moved from New Jersey, were paying. Their taxes were approaching $20,000 a year! Yes, for the "privilege" of living in New Jersey and you know how those Jersey politicians were using that tax money. Yes, the same way the Pennsylvania politicians were using it, waste and excessive salaries for state legislatures for jobs that weren't even full time. 

We all left beautiful homes that we planned to live out our final years. I remember my late friend Bart, who moved to Delaware from upper New York State. There was hardly a week that went by that he didn't wistfully bemoan how beautiful his country house was and how high the taxes had become. Same with my neighbor Marty and her husband Howard who had also moved here New York State. Of course Bill and I had a beautiful home on almost eight acres of wooded land that we had built in 1980. To his dying day Bill always sadly remembered how much he missed our home in Pennsylvania. When the new owners defaulted on their mortgage and the property went into foreclosure, we would often drive up and visit our former home. So sad. Even to this day.

I had friends in Delaware that I have known for years (all passed on now) and knew how little they were paying in property taxes on their homes, only hundreds of dollars, including my one friend Ed who was a millionaire. He was paying less than $400 a year in taxes. My friends Bob and Larry were also paying less than a thousand a year in taxes on their homes. In addition to low school/real estate taxes, they didn't have to pay sales tax, state income tax or any other nuisance tax like a "County Tax" or personal property tax (on stocks and bonds in an investment portfolio). So when I was faced with paying a $9,000 plus tax, I had no choice but to move to Delaware, much to the consternation and disappointment of my Mother. My move affected my relationship with her at the end of her life. Another sad fact of outrageously high taxes for Pennsylvania, New Jersey and New York. My surviving brother still lives in our modest eleven hundred square foot one bath ranch home in Pennsylvania. Last I saw his taxes were $4,400 a year. 

Pennsylvania attempted offer "relief" to retirees by offering seniors to earn credit for volunteer work like working in school cafeterias.  Yes, I can imagine my eighty year old mother working in her local school cafeteria a certain number of hours to earn a $50 credit to a maximum of $500 credit towards her taxes. That's your venal and corrupt Pennsylvania State legislatures "relief" offer to retirees. California had the right idea to offer seniors relief on the ever rising school/real estate taxes. They freeze the tax rate once a senior has lived in their home for a certain number of years. However, once they sell their home the new taxes are one percent of the total sale price. Now that's fair! My friend Glenn, who lived in Los Angeles took advantage of that tax relief when he became a senior. And then when he moved to Palm Springs he could transfer that tax relief to his new home. Some states get it right. But these eastern states like New York, New Jersey and Pennsylvania, even though they are mostly dominated by Democratic legislatures, are just greedy and unrealistic. Both parties, Republicans and Democrats are equally guilty. Tax more, spend more. I am so thankful to the Democratic controlled state of Delaware and Sussex County for this unexpected and pleasant surprise. Now I can breath a little bit easier knowing that I can easily pay my real estate/school tax bill for whatever years I have remaining on this earth. I'm not religious but thank God for this act of grace!

Final Move

 

"Flair" at Miralon, Palm Springs, California - possibile future home of Ron and Pat

This is a photo of a model house called "Flair" located at the new development in Palm Springs called "Miralon." See HERE:

When we moved to Delaware in 2006 it was partly to escape the high Pennsylvania taxes and to prepare myself for living alone, without Bill. I choose southern Delaware and the Rehoboth Beach area because my good friend Bob McCamley has lived in this area for year and also there was a large gay population, I wouldn't be alone in my retirement. I have no desire to live out my final  years in any area of the country that is homophobic and/or continues to have that undertone where I am considered "less than" and viewed as an unrepentant sinner, existing only to be saved by my "caring" straight friends. Been there, done that and wasn't going to end my days in that environment.

Well, you know how the best laid plans don't always go as you expect? For one thing my good friend Bob McCamley died. 

For another thing, even though there is a large gay population down here in Sussex County, Rehoboth Beach area the majority are lesbians and you know they have very little or nothing to do with gay guys unless the gay guys are in drag or parading on the boardwalk in pink bras or playing volleyball in drag. I think they feel threatened by any gay man who doesn't fit into their stereotype of a gay man who is flitting about doing window treatments for them. I may be wrong but after living here for sixteen years that's been my experience. Of course there are a few exceptions but very few, believe me.

My problem with the gay guys here, for whatever reason I have never been able to form a lasting friendship with any of them. I've met a few, but they either wanted a relationship (no thank you) or were so caught up in their clique (Washington D.C. gays) that they didn't have time for me. Of course maybe it was me, I just didn't measure up. Sorry folks, can't do anything about that. I am who I am. But my experience with the gay community here in the "Gay Capital of the East Coast", hasn't developed as I assumed it would. My fault, their fault, whatever. It just hasn't happened. 

Now that I am the caregiver for my 93 year old husband, who is on home hospice care, I have to consider "Do I want to spend the rest of my days here in the Rehoboth Beach area."  

I know one thing, I don't want to die alone. And if I spend it here I will probably die alone. Not a prospect that I look forward to. Just what I was trying to avoid when I moved from our beautiful home in Pennsylvania to our also beautiful home here in Delaware.

However, I had planned to stay here. After all, all my "things" are in this house. 

I'm very comfortable in our house. 

I can live here by myself and pay the bills. Only thing is I'll be alone. 

While I love my backyard, do I want to be riding my John Deere tractor mowing my almost one acre backyard on a hot and humid August day? Oh sure, I could hire one of the many Hispanic landscapers, they're all too willing to help for a cash payment. For the past ten years I've hired them because I could no longer keep up with my yard work. I like to dabble but I was falling behind. And they do a good job......for cash. Fact is though when I'm alone my household income will be significantly reduced. I won't be able to afford the luxury of hiring Jose to mow my lawn in the dog days of summer. And I would still be alone.

I had considered getting a cat or a dog. But that wouldn't be fair to the pet because I would probably die before they would.

What to do? 

Ever since Pat and I visited Palm Springs California for the first time in 2016, we have returned every year for two weeks during Modernism Week in February. Last year, because of COVID we couldn't make the trip. I couldn't go anyway because I'm caregiving for Bill. This year Modernism Week in Palm is right now. Again, Pat and I couldn't make the trip. Hopefully next year we can resume our annual winter getaways to Palm Springs during Modernism Week.

During our visits, we discussed the possibility of moving/retiring to Palm Springs. I didn't take it seriously at first because I have all my "things" here. Besides, I didn't like most of the Palm Springs homes I saw that were for sale. Small cave like dwellings with eight foot high ceilings. I can't live like that. Our house here has ten foot high ceilings and lots of glass to give that outdoor feeling while living inside. I'm spoiled. I can never go back into living in those little boxy, dark houses that are so prevalent in many neighborhoods.

Pat and I both like modern, Mid-Century style houses that are so prevalent in Palm Springs. Of course many of them have those eight foot high ceilings and low on the windows that let in the light. Maybe they're cave-like because the Palm Springs summers are so hot. Oh, that's another factor I'lll address in a future blog. This posting is getting too long as it is.

The upshot is that Pat and I found the perfect house for us. It's in the new community called "Miralon", built on a former golf course. So many golf course developments in Palm Springs, we don't golf and we don't want to pay a high HOA for the privilege. 

But again, one of my big reservations about moving to Palm Springs is "what do I do with all my stuff?" If I'm moving to a modern designed house, I don't want to take my clunky, heavy, typical older gay man furniture out there. I had to address the hard decision of "what do I do with my stuff?" Well folks, I finally made the decision after seeing this model home and the advice my longtime friend Lar told me when I told him of my dilemma. Lar said "It's just stuff" which he is right. 

I've since developed an multi-plan of downsizing which I'm comfortable with, finally. And after seeing this model home, courtesy of my good friend Glenn M. (who is in the process of moving to Palm Springs now), I'm ready to begin the last chapter of my life. And you know what folks? I always knew someday I would have a private swimming pool which I could slid open the glass doors of my bedroom in the evening and slip my old and saggy body into that lighted water and say to myself "I have arrived."

Beautiful mountain views too from the homes at Miralon! Glad  they decided not to waste those mountain views on a golf course.

Move To Palm Springs?

 As regular readers of this blog know, I have considered spending my sunset days living in Palm Springs, California.

Pat and I visited Palm Springs seven years ago for the first time and promptly fell in love with that desert paradise. 

Since our first visit to Palm Springs in 2015, we have returned every year for Modernism Week. COVID put an end to those annual visits last year. If not for COVID, we would be visiting Palm Springs right now here in February for two weeks. Maybe next year, if we survive COVID or whatever else may befall us in the months ahead.

Yesterday Pat found a house for sale in Palm Springs which meets our specification. Ten foot high ceilings, fee land (not Indian owned), plenty of windows letting in light, three bedrooms (one of which I would use for a home office), two and a half baths, a big open floor plan and a private swimming pool and a nice big patio. Many of the previous houses for sale I've seen in Palm Springs have eight foot high ceilings. I can't stand ceilings that low. I feel like I'm in a cave. And I need a LOT of light. Windows every where! Check it out yourself HERE:

Of course I'm not ready to move yet. I can't move as long as I'm caregiving for Bill. But there may come a time when I need caregiving. That can't happen here where I live in Delaware. If Bill should pass before I do, I am here alone. I have no one. And I can't bring Pat down here in Slower Lower Delaware to take care of me. While I like the Slower Lower lifestyle, that would be a slow death for Pat who loves the big city life style. I actually like that lifestyle too. 

My problem moving though is that I love our house here. And an even bigger problem is what do I do with all my stuff? Oh I know as my friend Larry told me on our FaceTime call this morning, "It's only things Ron." But, and big BUT that "stuff" gives me a lot of comfort. The memories and pleasure I receive from living among my lifetime collection of artwork (paintings, water colors and photos) is priceless. The furniture I can leave behind or give away. But my wall hangings, I can't take all of them with me to a new Palm Springs home but if I was facing living in an assisted living facility (which as regular blog readers of this blog know I will never do), I would have to part with that "stuff." 

That time of life folks, to make BIG DECISIONS.

I'm sure I'm not the only old folk to face these life changing decisions. It's hard folks. But doesn't that Palm Springs home look great? And the lifestyle of Palm Springs if very appealing. 

I call Palm Springs "The Elephant Graveyard of Older Gay Men of Means." 

I'm going there folks. That's where I plan to die. 

 

Getting Back on Track

Time to get my life back on track. 

Remember when I used to work part-time? Lately I haven't been. The last two weeks I've worked both weekends at the hotel in addition to my regular Monday and Thursday shift. Actually, I'm more of a substitute employee at the hotel. I try to keep to my regular schedule of twice a week on Mondays and Thursdays but that doesn't seem possible for many reasons which I won't go into here because some of my co-workers read this blog. 

So today I'm trying to get back to my regular schedule.  Of course this is yet another week with doctors' appointments.  One particularly frustrating one was my dental appointment. I need two new partials. My daily munching on Stacy's hard pita chips have worn down my old partials. One would think replacing partials would be a simple procedure.  One would think that, wouldn't one? So here's what happened. My appointment was last Friday.  The dental assistant wanted to "scan" my teeth and gums but that wasn't working. So she put that Play Dough stuff in my mouth and we went through that procedure.  You know that was FUN.  

Yesterday she calls and asks me to come in. The scanner is working. So I go in, thinking this is going to be a nothing procedure.  Oh how wrong I was.  To "scan" my teeth and gums she has to put this metal contraption in my mouth and rub it all over my teeth (what I have left) and gums.  What she is scanning goes to an image.  She has to scan and scan to get the image just right.  Several times she's jamming this thing against my sensitive gums.  Hurts.  The whole procedure was very uncomfortable and at time painful and took about a half an hour.  Finally I was done and I left with my sore mouth.

Last night at work I get a call from her.  She says  "I hate to say this but I accidentally deleted one of the scans. Could you come back in and get it scanned again?"  WHAT?  I got this call after finding out earlier that American Airlines had changed Pat's flight thus causing me to call and change my flight so we can sit together during the six hour flight to California.  This has happened before. They schedule me to leave about two hours before Pat.  Pat and I both fly to Philadelphia and then Pat makes a connecting flight to Toronto.  Am I confusing you?  Jumping around like this?  So I called American Airlines yesterday to straighten this out and I'm told that I have to pay for my priority (extra leg room) seat again.  I said "I already paid for it."  She told me to apply for a refund of that extra charge ($161) on their website. WHAT?  I did.  Confused?  Me too. Especially since last year on our flight to California, after we both scheduled our flights so we would be sitting together, when we boarded I found out that they had assigned Pat to a different seat.  I had to beg a stranger (a very nice Chinese man) to switch seats, which he did.  I didn't want a repeat of this mixup this year.  Anyway, I'm jumping all over the place here.  

Now I get a call after all this confusion with the airline and working double-time at the hotel "Can you come back in and do the scans again?"  I told her I would come in today at 8 am. I sensed that she already had an 8 am appointment but so what?I was mad.  I wasn't going to come in at 1 or 2 in the afternoon. It was her fault.  Oh sure, I know mistakes happen but come on.  I already had an appointment at 9 am at my urologist in Milton, nearby my dental office.  

I bet you're getting exhausted just reading this.  You can imagine how I felt going through all this.

Yesterday was a bad day. One of those days where everything seems to go wrong.  Well, good news today.  I kept both of my appointments this morning. I got a clean bill of heath from my urologist.  I got my teeth scanned.  Still uncomfortable and painful at times but went by quickly. I suspect because she already had an 8 am appointment with another patient, who I passed in the hallway at 8:04 am as I left.

Then I get home and turn on my computer. I check my e-mail and I see where I have a refund of $181 for that extra charge for leg room on my air flight to California.  Wow.  And now I have the next two days off until I go back to work on Thursday, my regular shift. I don't have to work this weekend. I'm not scheduled to work a weekend until the end of the year, New Year's Eve weekend.  

Hey, who knows? Maybe I can finally get back on track.  Think that will happen?  I don't.  Where are these people who are bored with retirement? Never a dull day (or week) around here folks.

Have a great day!

Another Busy Day

Today was yet another busy day. When I have days like this I think "This is retirement?"  

This morning I had an appointment to get an X-Ray for my followup appointment next week with my urologist. Six months ago I had a procedure to blast out kidney stones that I still had in my body.

I show up at the medical imaging place, sans supporting documents. What was I thinking?  I'm losing it folks.  Had to go back home and get my doctor's orders.  That whole procedure took up about two hours of my precious time this morning.

Then I had to get a blood test for the same doctor. This time I had my doctor's order.  After waiting about half an hour, and being the last person in the waiting room, I find that my doctor's order says I am only to have a PSA test.  What?  I just had one of those October 4th at the VA. I told the employee at Bayhealth and she agreed with me, I could use the results of my blood test last month instead.  Now the morning is shot.  All the while Bill is waiting in our car.  All is not lost though, this was the first time I got Bill out of the house in a couple of days.

I get home just in time for lunch. Then nap time. Up from my nap and on my computer and I'm greeted with yet another UPDATE.  More time consumed.  Yes, I know I'm complaining. 

I check my e-mail. I see a notice from Register.com to confirm my e-mail.  Wait a minute, didn't I just do this last week?  I check to see if this is a phishing scheme. Apparently not so I call Register.com.  I told them I already confirmed me e-mail address last week, why are then sending me this AGAIN.  They told me it was a "glitch."  I finally got that matter resolved and not the time is 5:30 pm. My day is pretty well shot.  

Tonight I'm going to relax and watch the latest episode of "Game of Thrones."  I deserve it after this frustrating day. Where I left off last night king Joffrey was poisoned at his wedding celebration. I HAVE to find out who did that!

Procrastination

Me at Pat's countertop in his fabulous new condo in Hamilton, Ontario, Canada

Folks!  

I'm here!

I really am!

Oh my, so much going on in my "retired" world. 

Just this morning I finished updating and mailing the minutes of our homeowners' association board committee meeting.  Yes, I HAVE been roped into the position as (acting) secretary. I hardly have enough time to do all my other activities and yet here I am, SECRETARY to our homeowners' association. A subject worthy of several blog posts, which you know I WILL do.

"Marie", one of my faithful blog followers left a comment about seeing enough of that Harvey Weinstein photo I left for you all to see for days on my last blog post.  For that I do apologize folks.  That wasn't my intention. With this blog post that offensive image of Harvey the Pig will go away.

Marie and others have asked for more blog posts about my Canadian vacation of which I fully intend to oblige. I have many photos and videos to share.  What's holding me back though besides procrastination is that I was going to use You Tube's Video Editor, but they discontinued it!  Now I have to use iMovie on my iMac and that's another whole time consuming activity what I have been procrastinating getting into.  But, I will.

Last Sunday Bill and I made the two and a half hour drive to Pennsylvania to attend my 58th high school class reunion.  More photos and videos taken there too folks of which I intend to share, hopefully after I make some cool video collages in iMovie.  By the way, this was my first class reunion that Bill attended with me.  For about forty years I've been asking him to go with me to my high school class reunions and he finally does when he's 89 years old.  My classmates think I took up with an OLD MAN.  Thanks Bill (smile).

Bill (center) at my class reunion with two of my classmates.

So folks, that's where I am now. Still trying to get my act together and wondering where all the hours go in a day.  And to think I used to work full-time and do so much in addition to my work and commute time.  How did I ever do that? Maybe because I didn't take daily two hour afternoon naps like I just did today.  

Have a great day!!!

Note: the header photo on this blog I took of the lobby of the Royal Connaught Hotel in downtown Hamilton, Ontario, Canada. That is Pat in the green T-shirt soaking in the luxuriousness of the lobby. Some lobby Pat!

Bill Drives

Bill is down at Lowe's this morning as I type this blog posting.

This is Bill's first solo drive since he regained his driver's license last week. 

He was hesitant to drive, having not driven since he lost his license last June. 

I offered to drive him down to Lowe's. Down the notorious dangerous Route One, aka Coastal Highway. We're in the height of the summer season down here in Rehoboth Beach Land and the traffic is heavy.  Especially heavy on the weekend, sometimes at a standstill when the vehicles block intersections.

Good old Route One traffic headed to the shore

Of course I'm nervous that Bill is out on his own this morning. But he does like to roam around Lowe's without the hinderance of me tagging behind him.  I'm more of a garden center kind of guy.  That's when Bill tags behind me.

My regular blog followers may have notice that I haven't posted since last Tuesday. Time just gets away from me folks. 

Last week was a good week, except of course for the heavy traffic. It's getting more and more difficult just to get out of our development here.  And it will only get worse as the years go by.

I've been giving some serious thought to eventually moving away from here and this summertime mess.  Of course I would have to sell or get rid of just about everything I have in our home. After fifty-three years together we (or more accurately me) have accumulated much during those years of happiness and bliss. I guess I would get rid of everything except our artwork.  

An artistic collage of yours truly when I was very young by my very talented cousin Danny Hart

The furniture wouldn't go with me. 

But here I am veering onto another subject which is more suited to a separate blog posting. Right now I'm concerned about Bill. I'll be relieved when he returns home from his first solo driving since last June. 

Am I Still Blogging?

Again, I've been absent from my blog.  My lame excuse is that I'm just too busy around here. That's a sad excuse, isn't folks? I hate it when someone gives me that excuse "I'm just too busy."  But here I am doing that very same thing.

So here you go folks. It is springtime and I'm outside a lot, doing yard work. We're having a wonderful spring here (cool temperatures with sun and rain evenly distributed) and I'm enjoying working here at Casa Tipton-Kelly.

When I'm not outside on our one acre sylvan oasis, I'm following the latest outrages of Donald Trump.  I have to say I'm not surprised at the way the Trump Presidency is turning out to be an unmitigated disaster but what really surprises me is the silence of the Congressional Republicans. They are looking the other way and letting the raging orange monster in the White House get away with his temper tantrums.  I have to say this is a "show" that I am enjoying.  It's just a matter of time folks before the guys in the white jackets take the Child in the White House out in a straight jacket.  That folks I am SOOOO looking forward too.

So here is what is on my agenda.  This time next Monday I will be under anesthesia for my shock wave therapy to remove my kidney stones.  My Travel Buddy Pat will be coming down early from his home in Toronto next Sunday to drive me to Dover for this procedure.  Bill normally drives me to these medical procedures but he lost his license last summer because of his cataracts.  He has one eye done but his other eye isn't scheduled until June 22nd.  Thus I roped Pat into hauling my carcass up to Dover for this medical procedure.

Another good example of my hectic schedule is that I just got a call from one of my co-workers to come into work two hours early today.  There goes my schedule again.  Sometimes I feel like a substitute front desk agent instead of a part-time front desk agent. But I am off next Monday and one of my co-workers is filling in for me so I guess I should be flexible.  Check that previous statement:  I SHOULD BE FLEXIBLE.

Pat will be visiting for ten days. Five days here and five in Philadelphia at my friend Don McK.'s co-op in center city.  So looking forward to visiting Don and Philly again and checking out new venues with Pat.  Pat and I get together four times a year.  My next get together with Pat will be after Labor Day at his new home in Hamilton, Ontario, Canada.

Well, I'm rambling now but I did want to let you all know where I've been.  I'm still here folks and will keep blogging.

My Stress Reliever

How do I relieve stress?  

Some exercise.

Some take drugs.

Some drink.

Some eat.

Some kayak.

Some play in a rock band.

Well, you get the idea.

I relieve my stress by sitting in front of my big screen iMac computer and playing online Scrabble while listening to "Antiques Beat" radio on my Bose radio. 

Occasionally I interrupt my online Scrabble games blog and check some of my favorite blogs.

Gone are the days where I ventured out to local cemeteries taking photos of headstones fulfilling Find a Grave requests.

Gone are the days where I organize family reunions and update my family tree on Ancestry.com.  

No more.  No mas. 

Ah, retirement is so wonderful.  I can do what I want to do. And these days folks, these brutally hot summer days I prefer to sooth my inner soul thus.

Our Wonderful Neighborhood

This year marks ten years since we moved from our sylvan paradise in Pennsylvania to Delaware. My oh my, where did those ten years go? 

Bill and I have lived together for fifty-two years.  We started out in Bill's two bedroom garden apartment in Pennsauken, New Jersey.  

We moved to a modern apartment complex in the Roxborough section Philadelphia after a few years because I wanted to be closer to my job at Girard Bank in Center City Philadelphia.

Then I had a year to walk to work (and the gay bars on the weekends) so we brought a townhouse in Center City Philly.  We lived there for eleven years until I started to feel constricted with the limitations of living in the city.  The almost constant wail of police sirens, the lack of grocery shopping opportunities and the novelty of going to the gay bars wore off. We then brought seven acres of land in nearby Chester County and built a classic, gambrel roofed, two story farm house.  We lived there for twenty-five years until I could no longer afford to pay the ever increasing real estate taxes. Pennsylvania is one of those tax confiscatory state.  Sales tax, state income tax, county tax, personal property tax, school tax, real estate tax, township tax.  We could no longer afford got live in the Keystone State.

For years (since the 70's) I often visited my good friend Bob McCamley, who lived in Sussex County, Delaware.  My good friend Larry lived (and still does) in Claymont Delaware. Every time they told me of the low taxes they paid, it only reinforced my desire to move to Delaware.  

So, after much thought and research, in the years 2006 I put our home in Pennsylvania up for sale and built a new home in Delaware.

I decided to move into a "development", a development.  A Ryan homes development to be specific. 

Now, wherever we moved it's always a roll of the dice who we have for neighbors.  At our last home in Pennsylvania, even though we moved into the relative isolation of the woods, we ended up with homophobic neighbors.  Yes folks, even though we consciously did not move into a neighborhood, we still had homophobic neighbors.  Neighbors who one time had their children on our border yelling "GO AWAY FAGS!"  Against the advice of Bill, who didn't want me to call the police, I called the police.  When the officer arrived the kids ran away to a waiting SUV of the dad.  The police officer knocked on their door and warned the wife (who was the main homophobe, I don't think her husband cared either way) and warned her she was breaking the law.  Pennsylvania has a Hate Crimes Law.

A couple of weeks later she went to the local police chief and wanted to know why he couldn't arrest me and Bill because we were gay.  Seriously, this is what she asked.  He told her that it was not against the law to be gay and sent her away.  She tried the crying jag outside his office but it didn't work.  She claimed that her kids were "in danger" because she had gay neighbors.  By the way, a week later Bill and I did get a hand written letter signed by the four kids apologizing for their behavior.  After receiving that letter Bill and I were never again subjected to taunts.  However, she did spread the word around the neighborhood about the "gaywads" who she was unfortunate enough to have for neighbors.  Now mind you, Bill and I never did anything but live our lives.  Our only "crime" was that we were two men living together.  The irony of this whole situation was that one reason we moved to the center of the woods on a seven acre parcel was so we wouldn't be subjected to homophobe neighbors like we witnessed a gay couple who lived the street down from us in center city Philadelphia was.  We also heard tales of other gay couples who lived in "family" neighborhoods who were the target of homophobic teens.  

When we brought our seven acre park in East Brandywine Township we didn't have these homophobic neighbors. That happened when the man who owned the land who sold us our parcel died and his land was sub-divided.  Yes, they moved in after we were already there and then they tried to run us out by homophobic taunts and spreading the word around the neighborhood that we were gay.  By the way, I have to give credit to two of our neighbors who confronted our homophobic neighbors and told them "Ron and Bill are our friends and we don't want to hear your hate."  

I will never forget a face to face with the neighbor who lived on the other side of our homophobic neighbor. I was over at their place on their back desk visiting them when the husband interrupted my conversation and said "Ron, are you gay?"  I said "Yes I am.  If that is a problem for you I can leave now."  His wife was so embarrassed.  I was embarrassed at how embarrassed she was but I understand that they would be uncomfortable with a "gaywad" on their back deck. After all, they had children too. He just glared at me but his wife said "No, you don't have to leave."  But the pink elephant was clearly on the deck with us.  I was never invited back.  Bill was mad at me because I "outed" us.  

On another occasion Bill was on our other neighbor's lawn waiting for a delivery.  We lived down a long, winding road in the woods.  You couldn't see our house from the road so sometimes Bill would go to the neighbor's lawn down front to flag down someone who was looking for us.  Bill had done this before without a problem. I thought we got along good with those neighbors but apparently not because the husband came out that day and asked Bill to leave.  He said "You make my wife feel uncomfortable."  I couldn't believe my ears.  This was the same neighbor who two boys broke out our roadway lights and we didn't complain to them or ask them to replace the lights.  This was the same neighbor who I thought we had a friendly relationship with but I guess that changed when our homophobic neighbors spread "the word."  I think this incident was the one that finalized my decision to move to Delaware. To get away from the high confiscatory Pennsylvania taxes. To get away from the homophobic neighbors who wanted to keep their neighborhood "family friendly."  

Thus, in 2006, against the advice of Bill who loved our wooded paradise, I put our house up for sale.  I wasn't going to live my retirement years, struggling to pay taxes for those homophobic straight people's kids to attend school. 

Southern Delaware, while conservative in many ways (and still is, both of our local representatives voted against marriage equality), promised a more welcoming environment. There was a large gay population, which I naively thought would be more accepting and friendly.  That didn't prove to be true but that's a subject for another (long) blog posting.  Let's just say Bill and I don't fit in because our "lifestyle" is that we don't camp it up and dress in drag for recreational fun and games. We also are not acceptable to the very cliquey gay sub culture here in the Rehoboth Beach. They're mostly D.C. retired government employees with generous pension payments.  Bill and I are of more modest means.  

But what did happen, much to our surprise, was that we did make friends with our straight neighbors in the neighborhood where we moved. Of course moving into any neighborhood is a roll of the dice, you never know who you're neighbors are going too be but I have to say we are very fortunate to have wonderful neighbors. And they're all straight!  And they know we're gay.  Imagine that?  Ironically, when we first moved here there was another male gay couple who I attempted to be friendly with but that didn't work out.  The one guy was a racist.  After he called our neighbor Marty the "N" word (she in the above video), we broke off the relationship. He died a few years ago and his partner/husband sold their house and moved out of the neighborhood.  

There used to be two lesbian couples in the neighborhood but lesbian couples (I have found) are standoffish to gay guys.  They say "Hi!" to you if you say "Hi!" to them but nothing goes further than that.  They have their own circle of friends just like the D.C. Gay Guys Clique.  

Bill is a generous and friendly human being.  I am too, although I do have my "moments" (smile). Thus it was with pleasure a few days ago, as we were returning form shopping at the local supermarket so see our neighbors Howard and Marty working in their front yard.  Bill asked me to stop the car so he could give Marty a hug.  

All of our other neighbors are just fine.  I don't know if there are any homophobes among them, probably are.  But I know this, in our declining years Bill and I are living in a neighborhood where we are comfortable and appreciated.  And we appreciate our neighbors! 

Day in Philly Tomorrow

Me and my Travel Buddy Pat last November in Philly

Tomorrow I have plans to catch a bus at Delaware Tech ($39 round trip, a bargain!) at 8 am for a Day in Philly.  Snow is also scheduled for tomorrow.  

Scheduling any trips during the months of January and February is always a roll of the dice.  I lucked out when I traveled to Philly International Airport for my annual trek to California.  There was no snow when my friend Larry picked me up at home and taxied me to Philly International.  Maybe I won't be so lucky this time.

I'm working at the hotel tonight and will be closely monitoring the weather predictions for tomorrow morning.  I just made a call to the trip coordinator and she said the trip is still on. 

Of course this time of year I'm concerned that I will fall again on the ice and snow.  I have to be extra careful because I don't want to go through what I went through last year when I fell on the ice and severed my left leg quadricep muscle thus putting me out of commission (couldn't walk) for months.  I am just now almost back to normal with  my walking.  

One thing I have always had and appreciated was my ability to walk wherever I wanted to go.  So you can imagine how frustrated I was last year by being so severely limited in this one freedom that I had.  Hey folks, I'm not talented in any area of athletics but I could always walk and I do believe I have that ability again.  

Tomorrow, in Philly, I plan to do a lot of walking again. In fact I may just walk from where the bus leaves us off at Independence Hall to where my friend Don lives, at 21st and Walnut.  That is if it's not snowing when I arrive in Philly.  Last time I was in Philly was with my Canadian Travel Buddy Pat (we are pictured above at the top of this blog at the top of Liberty Place).  I'll be by myself this time but this spring Pat will fly down to Philly and we'll enjoy the sights and sounds and bustle of center city Philly again.

Wish me luck!

February Musings

Me yesterday at the end of Oyster Rocks Road (the Broadkill River) - by the way those are bullet holes in the "Dead End" sign probably made by some local Sussex County yahoo

January and February are always the hardest months for me to get through each year. One reason I started my now annual tradition of vacationing in California in January was to punch a hole in those two dreary months. So far I've (we, me and Pat) have only stayed ten days.  I would love to stay the whole two months but maybe two weeks is more reasonable.  Both from an expense perspective and how long Pat can stand being with me.  I do have a shelf life folks.  Bill is the only person in the world who can (has) tolerated me for any length of time.  And I fully admit I'm not easy to life with.  Thank goodness I found Bill.

This Tuesday I have a day trip to Philly.  The local "Old People's Express" (what I call the trips arranged by Sussex County Tech) was offering a "Day in Philadelphia" for $39.00 round trip.  How could I refuse?  I also signed up for a trip next month too!  As regular readers of this blog know I worked and lived in Philadelphia for over a quarter of a century.  I still miss it but I just couldn't afford to live in Pennsylvania anymore.  Taxes too high.  

Me with the Whiteheads entering Philadelphia last November during another "Day in Philadelphia" trip

The bus leaves at 8 AM and I catch the bus back at 3 PM.  The trip to Philly takes 2 1/2 hours so that gives me just about enough time to have lunch with my long-time friend and former co-worker Don McK.  Always good to see Don, one of my few friends who is still in my life.  Most of our friends have departed for . . . . where?

The bus drops us off at Independence Square in Philadelphia. I almost missed the bus going back because I couldn't find this location!

Lately I've been thinking about where are they? Where is Ed Cage?  Where is Wayne "The Cajun" Juneau?  I'm pretty sure they are nowhere, just a big void which I'm sure is really pissing off Ed because he couldn't take any of his money with him (Ed was a real tightwad).  Hopefully both of them are in a much better place and are enjoying eternal happiness. More likely they have been reborn as a dog or cat to learn a little humility.  But I'm veering off in Twilight Zone Territory here folks so I'll get back on track. 

One good thing about February is that the days are getting longer.  Instead of darkness descending at 4:30 pm, now the sun doesn't set on the horizon until about 5:30 pm.  I love it!  

This month I go back on the Medical Treadmill again.  I have an appointment with my dermatologist next Friday to remove an acitinic keratosis bump by my left eye.  Every six months folks, I have to visit my dermatologist to check and remove (and sometimes get a biopsy) of these growths that keep popping out on my skin.  Oh yes, I'm paying the price in my old age for my youthful folly of laying on the beach working on my tan. 
 

Me at Herring Cove, Provincetown, Mass - 1976 - my Youthful Folly Days - by the way, the tan only lasted at week (at the most)

The following week I have a followup visit with my cardiologist. Back on the treadmill folks.  The good news folks is that my left leg, which I severely injured last year is 95% normal.  It will probably never be totally back to what it was before but I can walk and I'm telling you folks, for that I will be forever thankful. Every morning before breakfast I walk the full length of the development where I live, strengthening my leg as well as trying to work off that extra ten pounds I gained (all around my waist) during my year long recovery.  

More about my California trip tomorrow folks.  You're not getting off that easy! (smile)

The Pat and Ron Show in California - returns tomorrow!

Where Will I End Up?

My friend Don and I on the roof deck of his co-op in Philadelphia, PA last month with a new co-op building in the background

Oh, I know where I eventually will end up.  On a hillside cemetery overlooking Downingtown, Pennsylvania. I purchased two lots (one for me and one for Bill) after my father died in 2000.  Both Bill and I wanted a "good view" for our eventual resting place. We got that settled. 

But what I'm talking about when I say "Where will I end up?" is where will I play out my Last Act.

My original intent was to spend my final days here at Casa Tipton-Kelly, Sussex County Delaware. 

Case Tipton-Kelly - Rehoboth Beach, DE

I am very comfortable here on our almost an acre of Eden-like bliss. But folks, it does take some upkeep.  In fact, on this very mild day I should be outside right now (instead of writing this blog) doing some fall maintenance yard work.  But alas, I opted to write this blog instead.  

As much as I like yard work (and I do), I find that as each year passes I call on our local landscaper Miguel and his crew to give me a helping hand.  

Bill mows the grass, which is quite a job.  Even so, I still put out a couple thou a year for lawn maintenance (irrigation, feeding and weed control). 

We live in a BIG house (5242 hundred square feet).  I could take in one of those Syrian families and still have space to spare.  Do I need all this space?  Actually I do.

But, last month when I visited my longtime friend Don McK. in Philadelphia, I was intrigued by his two bedroom apartment in the heart of Philadelphia.  I love Philadelphia. Back in the late 60's and 70's (when I was young and very desirable) I lived in Center City Philly.  I LOVED IT!  But then came a time I grew weary of hearing the police sirens constantly and I yearned for wide open spaces. So I moved to the country. 

The view of the neighborhood in Philadelphia where Bill and I lived in the 70's from my friend Don's rooftop deck

We lived in the country (Downingtown) for twenty-five years.  Then the taxes got too much for me so I moved us (Bill goes where I go, even though he doesn't want to - he still misses our Pennsylvania home) to the flat, open coastal plain of southern Delaware where taxes are low and folks are gay friendly (mostly anyway). 

Now comes a time when I have to seriously consider how I would manage if I lived by myself.  Bill is 87 years old now and was a great help when I fell and tore my quadricep leg muscle and was incapacitated for a long twelve weeks.  I was helpless.  If it were not for Bill I would have been warehoused in a rehab center.  

I have arthritis throughout my body, especially in my upper legs and lower back.  I am so careful not to fall again and put myself in a similar situation of being totally dependent on someone. So I have to think about that possibility.

There is no way I would put myself in on of those assisted living facilities.  That to me is like a gilded prison.  No way will I go out like that.  

So, at the end of this month when I visit my friend Don in Philly, where I will be staying in a rented suite in his co-op building. I will seriously consider eventually moving to Philadelphia in the future if I'm around for a few more years.

Decisions, decisions, decisions. It's all a matter of survival folks. 

Our two plots at the Northwood Cemetery in Downingtown, PA
A lovely setting for our final resting place

Friday Morning Fulminations

Cold Lady in the Garden this morning

Good morning folks!  How are you on this COLD spring morning.  Yes, another cold one.  Temps down to the low 40's.  

I finished my second shift at the hotel last night.  Business is picking up. We're in the season.  Of course several of the guests are complaining about the cold weather.  I apologize to them and tell them I can only guarantee perfect weather for MY events. 

I did have a pleasant surprise last night.  Old friend (old as me and THAT'S OLD) stopped by to visit two of their former neighbors who were staying at the hotel.  Jack and Judy D.  

A Selfie with my good friends Judy and Jack D. at the hotel last night

Judy is (was) my former high school classmate and, along with her husband Jack they were me and Bill's wedding witnesses last July. This is the first time I've seen them since the Big Day. We had a nice visit.  We made plans to go out to lunch next week. 

Now I have a day off before I begin another two day shift at the hotel this weekend.  I'm filling in for a co-worker who is taking off the Easter weekend to visit his brother and his family in Connecticut.  Good old Ron. Hey, I'm taking two weeks off in August so it all works out.

As I mentioned in an earlier blog posting I've been roped into being the local Democratic neighborhood volunteer.  You know, those people who knock on your door at all the wrong times reminding you to VOTE.  I've been given my list of neighborhood names and time frame to go a knocking (which you know I hate, all those opportunities for REJECTION).  

This be me soon

This morning, after breakfast at a local restaurant (which was a BIG MISTAKE of which I will talk about later), I had Bill chauffeur me around while I tried to connect my list of addresses with the houses where I'm going to bug these poor defenseless Democrat registered voters.

My script goes something like this:

"Hi. My name is _______________. I'm one of your nearby neighbors in Lewes (Milton for me) and a counter for the local Democratic party. I'm stopping by to let you know that the party is active in this district, and that we're hoping to elect more Democrats in the off-cycle election next November. If you have any questions or concerns in the coming years, please feel free to contact _______ at ________. We'd be happy to pass on your concerns and try to answer any questions you might have. Thanks so much for your time today."

You know I'm loving this.  Actually, I should be more involved with local Democratic politics, I just don't want it taking over my life.  But that is a subject for another blog posting.  

So Bill drove and I looked for addresses that are on my list that I received from the local Democratic leader,  this morning and it was basically a bust.  About a third of the houses don't even have an address.  And I definitely don't want to take a chance and knock on an errant Tea Bagger's door!

CAN.YOU.IMAGINE? Joe the Plumber answers the door.  Hey, I'm not Barrack Obama's biggest fan by far but man oh man, do we really want a return of George W. Bush, Dick Cheney, Donald Rumsfeld or any of the new crazy right wing nuts like Ted Cruz and Rand Paul.  Really folks?

These Tea Baggers are so whacked out with their crazy assed paranoia they scare me to death if they even get close to wielding any kind of power.  Seriously folks, the likes of Louie Gomert for Secretary of the Defense? 

One thing is for sure, if the Tea Bagger Right Wing Nut faction of the Republican Party (is there a "regular" Republican party left after all?) gets in power we'll be in another war with:

1. Syria
2. Iran
3. Egypt
4. Russia

So proud of themselves - they didn't lose anybody in their Wars of Choice

And who knows who the f_ck else these nut cases decide to go to war with to show their manhood. Of course they never personally go to war nor any member of their families, they send the young folks who can't get a job in the economy that was almost ruined by the back to back Bush tax cuts, prescription drug benefits in which the government was not allowed to bargain prices with the drug companies thus creating a windfall for the drug companies. But I digress (which often happens when I blog post because I don't plan these posts out in advance folks, I just let them "flow.") 

So anyway, I wasn't too successful in identifying the homes I'm going to bother this morning so I'll go to Plan B which is Google maps.  It'll take a little longer but at least I'll be at my desk and not trying to dodge traffic while I'm looking for non-existent house signs.  I had this same problem when I worked for the Census Bureau back in 2010, couldn't find about half of the addresses.  What is it with people that they can't do the basic and put their address out in front of their house?  Are they THAT lazy?  Well…..yes.

Folks, about the last thing I want to do is traipse around my neighborhood, bothering my neighbors like I hate to be bothered but if I can do just a little bit to prevent the Far Right Republican politicians from gaining power and totally ruining this country, I will.  Say what you will about the sometimes feckless president Obama and vice president Crazy "Uncle Joe" Biden but at least they're going to preserve the social safety net and prevent the few very rich oligarchs in this country from completely taking over this country for their own greed which knows no bounds.  What always amazes me is how many of the American voters believe the lies that the Republicans tell them to vote against their own interests. I'm on a rant here folks, I better get off.

Our "betters" - maybe some of their millions will "trickle" down to us lowlies

Today's oligarchs who want to buy the U.S. democracy for their own personal piggy bank:

Koch Brothers - net worth over 100 billion as of April 2014 - they want more

Sheldon Adelson - net worth 36.5 billion as of January 2014 - wants more

You can't let them win folks.  If you do we're f'ckd.