Fifty years ago this month I made my first visit to Provincetown, Massachusetts.
Fifty years ago, think about that period of time. I am indeed one of the lucky few to have survived in life this long.
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| My Old Time Photo taken on my first visit to Provincetown in 1973 |
Those were the carefree days when most of us thought we would live forever. At least I did. I gave little thought to being old.
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| Me in my much younger days at Herring Cove, National Seashore Park, Provincetown, Mass. I weigh the same but my body doesn't look like this now. No more showing off at Herring Cove should I return! |
In fact I never believed that I would live past sixty years old. And yet here I am at the very old age of eighty-one, one year older than our often derided president who at eighty is often touted as "too old to run for president."
Well, I can talk better that Old Joe but I can't walk much better. I really struggle to walk up stairs. Recently I found that if I grasp the railing with both hands I can pull myself up the stairs with relative ease. Which makes me thing, "Can I ever go back to work at the hotel?" should my caregiving days end? I'm thinking no, maybe not.
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"Angel's Landing", where I used to stay when I visited Provincetown in the 70's. Right downtown on Commercial Street, where all the action was. I rented a bike and got everywhere including Herring Cove outside downtown Provincetown |
Recently I've been giving a lot of thought to visiting Provincetown just one more time before I cross over the Rainbow Bridge. Oh how I would love that! To visit my old haunts on Commercial Street, the main drag (no pun intended) in Provincetown.
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| Real outdoor cafe dining in Provincetown, probably about 1990, my last visit to Provincetown |
One of my blogger buddies visits Provincetown several times a year. He suggested that maybe we can all get together for another Bloggerpalooza. What a wonderful idea! Our last Bloggerpalooza was here in Rehoboth Beach, Delaware nine years ago in 2014. Man oh man, where does the time go?
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| Me in Provincetown Harbor, Labor Day 1979 |
Of course we could only do this Bloggerpalooza if Spo and Someone attend and (hopefully) Fearsome Beard. Also anyone else who wants to meet in person me and my blogger friends.
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| Commercial Street, Provincetown, Mass - yes, traffic share the main drag with the tourists. Took some getting used to but once you realized that you're on vacation and everybody is relaxed, it works! Lots of straight people during the day ("Day Trippers") - no judgements! |
Of course Pat will be with me. He's never been to Provincetown and doesn't seem to enthused about it but I and confident one he sets foot on Commercial Street, he will experience the total feeling of freedom that Provincetown offers members of the gay community.
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| Me (practically naked on the right) with two of my friends Gino and Bob, both of whom since deceased . |
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| Me (right) out for a sail boat ride with my boyfriend Brad (since passed away) in Provincetown Harbor 1980 |
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| Brad and I imbibing in a glass of white wine on a very windy day in Provincetown Harbor 1980 |
Followers of this blog know that Pat and I fell in love with Palm Springs, California which also has a large gay population (mostly older well to do men) but Provincetown is different. At least it was when I last visited in 1990. All walks of the social economic gay community. Not just the older, affluent gay men that is Palm Springs. Plus, Provincetown is just fun.
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| Me with color coordinated socks and T-shirt on a pier in Provincetown Harbor 1976 |
Just one more time to attend the daily Tea Dance (4 PM) at the Boatslip on Commercial Street and dance to "I Will Survive" by Gloria Gaynor.
That is my wish.
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| Me relaxing at Angel's Landing. Provincetown is the one place in my life hat I felt totally relaxed and FREE! Palm Springs comes a close second only because the gay presence in Palm Springs is almost exclusively older well off gay men who tend to be very cliquish. In Provincetown I met all types of men from across the country. Everybody was relaxed. No cliques! |
9 comments:
Look at you!! Still trying to bring those boys to the front yard. What would Bill say? :)
I have never been to Provincetown. In 1976 I was 19. Boy, where does the time go? I love the pictures and the fashions of that day and time. Look at you running around town half-naked. Like they say, "When in Rome do as the Romans do." You are ahead of your time with the short shorts. The 5-inch short is all the rage today. As we know, what is old will eventually become new again. I know you were young and carefree during that time BUT not innocent by any stretch of the means. If history could talk.
The carefree days of Provincetown would soon dramatically change. Can you say that around 1982/1983 things were a turning point for the gay community because of AIDS/HIV? The carefree days were over for now and it's all hands on deck to take care of our community. I was just starting my service in the Air Force in 1984 and my first assignment was in Germany. There the AIDS/HIV crisis smacked me in the face. I must have been living under a rock. I heard about this "gay disease" from a Newsweek article prior to my time in the service and brought it to my straight-married friend who I was sleeping with. I asked what is this. His response was that we did not have to worry about it.
The only gay meca I have been to was Key West. A couple of my gay friends and I spent a week there over Thanksgiving week. It was nice but after a few days, I was bored stiff. One could only walk the main drag so many times. One thing I enjoyed was the Cuban food. My friends would swim-nacked in the morning and by lunchtime, we were walking to the main drag to hunt for lunch. Two things I remember-one-cats everywhere-and two-the people had a thing with cocks. The bird kind.
I did have a dear friend who passed away this time last year and lived in Palm Springs. You are right there are a lot of well-off mature gay men. Some of them are what I called pissy queens. Palm Springs does have a drug problem among gays. Also there are a lot of younger gays/hustlers who pry on the older gentlemen. I learned of extensive contracts signed between older men and younger guys. It covered everything from support, paying for college, how many times a week of sex, severance, and the list goes on.
Have a great rest of the week. Stay cool.
Hugs
Victor
Victor,
I was lucky to avoid the AIDS epidemic that was just getting started (1980) as I was losing interest in the active gay scene. Ironically, all the times I visited Provincetown, I only had sex once with a stranger and that was with the guy who was the superintendent of the houseboys of Angel's Landing. I was there with Brad (who I did have sex with) and our last night in Provincetown we were staying at a different place. We met him at the A (Atlantic) House. He didn't talk to us the two weeks were were staying at Angel's Landing but he did talk to us that night. He said "You guys are hot. Would you like to get it on?" Would I? OF COURSE! All other times I visited Provincetown and stayed there it was for the ambiance of the place. Of course I met some guys (Lynn Tomlin, Nick Brown) who I spent time with but no sex. I just liked them. I was never sexually driven Vic, as odd as that may sound for a gay man. And as a matter of fact, I didn't even know what AIDS was at the time. I thought you got sick from inhaling papers (which I did, I LOVED to dance). There were people who attempted to have sex with me but I wasn't interested in them that way. Another one was a very famous drag queen. I was flattered by his attention, especially at his show but sex? Not interested. Later I found out that he did die of AIDS related causes as well as Lynn Tamlin. I don't know what happened to Nick Brown (who I really liked) but I assumed he passed away from the same affliction. One guy I propositioned to go to bed with told me outright he "had AIDS", which is what you said at that time. It wasn't said "I'm HIV-Positive." Since my Provincetown days I've had a few encounters, the last one being in 2005 with a guy named Kent Nobel. He wanted in the worst way to have anal sex with me (I don't do anal). The next day he did tell me he was "HIV Positive." I told him "You should the told me that before you were trying to fuck me. You know what he said "You should have asked!" Fuck him. Since them I have no desire to have sex with ANY stranger. NADA. NONE. I suspect that almost all of the gay population down here in Rehoboth is HIV-Postive. They can have sex with each other without fear. I'm completely turned off since that experience with Kent Nobel. While that experience with him didn't cause me to go straight it killed all sexual desire in me for any strange man.
I'lll die some day but it won't be from being HIV-Postive. By the way, I've had four tests over the years. All negative.
Ron
Victor,
I have no doubt that there are hustlers in Palm Springs. I was wondering about that. That's something else I'm not interested in, young guys looking for a sugar daddy. I dipped my toes in that "water" back in 1979 and 1980 with Bob Murphy and Brad Corrill (both younger than me but I wasn't that old at that time; 37 and 38. Bob was 17 and Brad was 23.) I found out that that type of person is never faithful (both cheated on me) and there is never enough money to keep them satisfied. Both I took to Provincetown with me on different occasions and within hours they took off with someone else for the duration of our stay, only showing up at the end of the week because I had the plane tickets back. Both of them proved the old adage to me "You can't buy love." I was really puzzled by both of their actions back them because I wasn't and "old man" (37 and 38) and not unattractive. But they just weren't into me except to pay their way. I thank them for teaching me a lesson. That was a very hard time for me. I almost committed suicide twice. In fact once Bob Murphy even said "Oh! That would be cool if you did!" There you go Vic. Lesson learned.....the hard way. I could never be on of those "pissy" Palm Beach queens buying love. Pat and I are both old guys, very similar in personality and outlook on life. I couldn't be happier these days. Even caring for Bill. He is so appreciative of me caring for him at this time of his life and I am appreciative that I have the opportunity to give back to this man is has given me so much in life. I've said it before and I'll say it again, I am one of the lucky ones!
Ron
Victor,
Key West was "the place to go" for Provincetown professionals during the winter. I imagined it was the way you described. I was offered a job by Angela of Angel's Landing as a manager to run her place. She told me I would make a lot more money running her place during the summer and the winters I could spend in Key West. At that time I had a respectable, well paying and securing job at the bank. I was briefly tempted then decided not to become "a professional gay" spending my summers in P-Town and winters in Key West. Just didn't seem that attractive to me at that time. I'm gay and I've always known that since my earliest memory but one thing I know, I'm not like a lot of gay men I know. I think my first clue was that I'm not into Broadway show tunes and singing around the piano at a gay resort. I'm not into having sex with as any men as possible. If I was I would be long dead by now. I just happen to be born gay, and am sexually attractive to men. That's it. Oh, I do like bling. Sparklies attract me but not bitchy, jealous, possesive, greedy, slutty queens. I'm not that type of "gay." And yes, I'm being very judgmental.
Ron
Mr. Goss! I have a tune of his in my workout playlist.
I should look him up and see what became of him. Did you age well?
We all have our memories of the way we saw, discovered and experienced the gay world around us. It was a time of discovery and experimenting. We searched for the answer as to the question "who am I and why am I attracted to men". It was a developing culture and the rules were being made up as we went along. It was also a time of great rejection and hate as we searched for acceptance. We were innocents and oh so naive. A health problem dubbed The Gay Flu hit the streets and the lives of the innocents were changing forever. So many young men were searching for love and the security of acceptance from thse of like thinking. What so many found was horrible pain and a battle for their life. Many a good man, and woman, died. And many survived their lives forever changed. The age of the gay innocents was fast disappearing but towns and enclaves around the country partied on. Many of us sought out the safety in numbers in places like Fire Island, P-town and Key West. We all have our stories and expeiences to share. Gay bashing was a very real problem. I personally heard and witnessed a young college student beaten to death with baseball bats on the street and just outside my bedroom windows. The silent calls for help from the innocents was now a loud horrible scream for help. I never forgot those sounds of the innocent young man as life was beat out of him. A lot has changed in 30-40-50 years. Now at this time of my life, 70 years old, and in failing health I too would like to go back and experience what life is like now in the old hot spots I was drawn to back in the 80's. I know my way of thinking has changed but it would be nice listen to the voices now and see and hear for myself if anything has really changed. Like I said we all have our memories and stories to tell but for many there is no one to tell or to listen. That is why blogging is important. Ron tells his story and we listen. Or should I say I listen. The blogger balooza gang has told their stories in their blogs. And while their experiences were specific to their locales the message is the same, all we want is for others to accept us. We just happen to live our lives with a same sex partner. Homosexuality has been with mankind since the beginning of times when just being alive was a struggle and it took a tribe to do it. Well life is still a struggle and it takes a tribe to survive. Part of that tribe happen to be bloggers and vloggers. I thank all who subscribe and read and view because their comments help me unstand and make some sense out of what is going on in the world today. I enjoy Ron's blog and I thank him for the opportunity for commenters such as myself to speak out and share views and lend support on a vast subject base. So from hot and muggy SW Ohio Woody says be safe, be careful, and be happy. Oh, and if you can show a little bit of kindness to someone today by checking up on them to see that they are okay in this life threatening heat. Some people just never ask for help you have to ask if they need it. It has been and still is great to be alive! Thanks Ron! And all the rest, too! Woody in Ohio
Continued----
Yes, I was in the middle of the AIDS crisis in coming out and seeing what this gay thing was all about. I always knew I was gay from an early age but just didn't know how to go about it. I was even accused of being gay in 10th grade by this girl at my high school who had an Italian stud, in the Army, as her boyfriend. I was enamored by that man. I did see him nacked many times and just wondered how a man could be so beautiful. Let me put my public health hat on. My graduate studies are in public health-MPH-with a concentration in health education, health promotion. You stated something that is not true-"they can have sex with each other without fear." Just because both men are HIV/AIDS positive does not mean they can have sex without fear. There are different strands of HIV/AIDS. One could get the other sicker because of their type. As we say in the health education business ALWAYS assume that the other guy is positive. Take care of YOUR health. Use protection. wait for the suggested periods of time to stop using protection. As you found out the guy didn't care about you and just wanted to get into your pants. I know, I know, it's the story of your life.
Ron a sugar daddy?? Please!! Those guys are just men taking advantage of others. Just like in the straight world, we have our less-than-desirable as well. To be frank, I have not dated all that much. I would never date a guy who is just coming out. I want them to sew a little wild oats before they settled down-if that is what they wanted. I would never date someone, let's say, more than 10 years my junior or senior. My only partner was 10 years older than me. Me dating a twink is looking for disappointment. Now it could work don't get me wrong. I would love to see the odds on that. Folks are at different stages in life. There is more to a relationship than sex. What are you going to talk about? I had a guy-German national-who wanted to marry me and take care of me. I was 27 or so at the time. That was not going to happen PERIOD! I only went out with him because he was a friend of another German who was my Air Force friend's husband. go figure my Air Force buddy worked in the military police station. My god, we are everywhere.
What I love about our community is that we come in all different flavors and shapes. Some like Broadway and show tunes. Some can build things like nobody's business. Some are crafty. Some can sew the hell out of any fabric. Some are good at business. Some are good with cars. and I know ow a few who can cook/bake anything. I am pretty talented but I know nothing about cars and I hate sports. Hell, I don't know how the scoring goes for baseball or football. I do know there are 9 innings in baseball and 4 quarters in football. Don't ask me to explain tennis or soccer. I had a friend buy a house and move all his stuff in. I picked up the baton and decorated the place. He was clueless about where to place things. I have another friend who can decorate the hell out of anything and works for a company that designs interiors of hotels. Oh honey, all gay men love bling. And even the bling varies.
Let's close this diatribe.
Best of health,
Victor
Woody,
Thank you very much for sharing. I enjoy and learn a lot from your comments. Always interesting. Now if we can just survive this heat!
Ron
Victor,
I did not know that two men who are both HIV-positive could share sex without fear. I learn something every day. It took me years to learn how the virus was actually passed between two men. The public knowledge always danced around the "sex" part, I guess for fear of offending somebody by saying it was actually through anal sex and the semen and blood vessels being broken in the anal canal. Damn!
You're right, we'll end this discussion.
Ron
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