 |
| Bill and our neighbor Bob yesterday |
How are you surviving in this cauldron of heat?
The picture is of my Bill with our neighbor Bob. Bob is the best neighbor we have ever had in all our years together. Bob's wife died a few years ago. Bob lives alone with his puppy an Australian cattle dog poodle mix named "Cleopatra". Bob goes fishing usually every Wednesday. I walk Cleo for him on those days. Cleo is in love with me. God, who isn't? (sarcasm).
 |
| Me and Cleo |
Our friendship with Bob is very odd because Bob is very MAGA. Yes, a very strong Trump supporter! We don't talk about THAT though. Although I do see the Trump signs and flags in his garage when I go over to get Cleo for her walk. Bob's late wife Barbara
 |
| Bill and Barbara |
was also a very good friend of me and Bill. Also a strong Trump support and she DID talk about it which I often had to change the subject. She liked me and Bill and likewise we liked her. She was smart, funny and generous as is Bob. Bob often brings me fruit and vegetables and somedays his delicious pasta salad. He used to bring Bill some of the fish he caught, cooked and all. I would never cook fish in our house, I hate that smell. However, over time Bill got tired of all the fish he was bringing us and I had to ask Bob to stop giving us his caught fish.
Bill and Bob used to talk all the time but since Bill's strokes and his blindness, they rarely talk. When Bob did stop over for a visit Bill often wouldn't know who he was and couldn't understand what he was saying. Gradually the visits stopped. However, I often talk to Bob during our mutual encounters in our backyards. As I said his dog LOVES me and if she see's me out back she whines for her treat and some loving, which I gladly give to her. Bob jokingly accuses of me of "stealing" his dog.
Bob's wife and I often had talks about me and Bill being gay. She was curious because Bill and didn't fit the stereotype of gay men. She most gay men were effeminate, promiscuous (i.e., sluts), lived in gay ghettos like the inner cities. Here Bill and I are living in a suburban neighborhood with all straights. When Bill and I first moved to our development there were four gay couples living here, two female and two male. They all moved, just me and Bill left. And we're quite happy here. First time in our lives together that we have lived in a neighborhood where we weren't discriminated against. Just another good reason to live in Delaware besides the great low taxes! One question she asked always amused me and Bill, she wanted to know "who was the wife and who was the husband?" in our relationship. I had to patiently explain to her that there was no "wife" in our relationship, we were just two men living together. She insisted "There HAS to be a wife and husband." I never did convince her. She said more than once, referring to Bill who she was very attracted to "You just haven't mean the right woman." Right Barbara! And I responded to her and "You just haven't met the right woman to turn you gay!" Oh we had a grand old time. I miss Barbara.
My wish now is that Bill and I pass on before our neighbor Bob. I don't think at this time of our lives, where Bill has these health problems and I'm having increasing health challenges, that we could take another round of bad neighbors.
There are many things I will never forget about our friendship with Barbara but one that has always stuck in my mind was when she casually remarked to me one day "I don't see what Bill sees in you."
OMG!
7 comments:
What a delight to walk the dog yet not have to care for it per se. Best of both worlds.
Ur-spo,
Tell me about it! It's like being a grandparent. You have the joy of visiting your grandchildren but you can always leave. The best of both worlds. The grandkids are always happy to see you.
Ron
Hope your Sunday is going well!!
I am still surprised that some still believe there is a man and woman roles in gay relationships. Let alone trotting out the tired tropes of what gays are according to their limited worldview. Let's just say there is no difference between gays and straight individuals. We have goals, aspirations, hopes, and dreams like everyone else. The only difference is who we love. I think Barbra was trying to steal your man. Turn Bill straight. How dare she say "I don't see what Bill sees in you." If this was a Betty Davis movie I would have slapped her. I hope she realized that every pot has a lid. Bill and you are a good fit. As with straight relationships, defined roles have changed over time. In straight and gay relationships, each takes on the task they are good at. Called the division of labor. And in the bedroom... Well, that's a potluck. A little bit of this and a little bit of that. I remember one time I picked Shannon up and threw him on the bed all butch and Eagle-like. He smiled and said, "Ok, but don't hurt me!" Smile!!
I misspoke in my last response. When I stated "Let's end this diatribe" I should have said, "Let ME end MY diatribe." YOU can go on as long as you want. It's your blog AND I enjoy your posts about your life.
Tell Bill Hi!!
Victor
XO
This post was charming. We've had neighbors like yours in our life. The first thing one said to me when we moved in was "We just love Liberace." LMGAO!
Anonymous,
One of my favorite cousins, who wasn't aware that I was gay made the statement "Oh! I LOVE "Will and Grace!" I think she was trying to make me feel comfortable because she was obviously uncomfortable. I told her "Actually, I don't like "Will and Grace". And I don't. I'm not a big fan of a straight actor playing a gay character and "Just Jack" to me never was funny. Just another gay stereotype. In fact the whole "Will and Grace" just reinforced unrealistic gay stereotypes. By the way, I LOVED Liberace. Even though he denied he was gay to the end. However, I think he knew we were all in on the joke.
Ron
It is a comfort to have neighbors who are friendly, caring and accepting. Thats all we can ever ask and hope for wherever we go. I feel safe also in knowing that a neighbor would drop everything and come to my aid in an emergency situation. When my first husband James died he had just started an early morning run with our golden retreiver Goose as snow was beginning to fall. A hundred yards from our front door he experienced a massive myocardial infarction and myocardial rupture. It was deemed the mother of all widow makers by the coroner. Death was instataneous. He collapased onto the city sidewalk adjacent to an elementary school yard and was quickly covered by the fast falling snow. Goose sat guard beside the body. The children on their way to school actually stumbled over James's body laughing and walked on. The event was witnessed by our neighbor Isabella who drove the city bus route and waved to James on his daily morning run. That was 1974 and to our neighbors we were faggots, queers, fudge packers and butt buddies. The school kids called us cocksuckers. The bus driver, her husband and children were kind and generous people who often asked us to dinner. They were more than happy to dog sit for us when asked. James, Goose and I felt at ease and safe with that family. Isabella stopped her bus and radioed into her dispatcher for help. She ran to James who was now covered in snow. Isabella tried to clear the snow from James's face and hoping he wasn't dead. Isabella tried her best to keep the snow off James's face and protect it untill the police arrived. A new driver had been dispatched to take over her route. Isabella came to our door with a policeman to inform me of James's death. Isabella hid her feelings and was concerned only for me but the policeman and detective smirked when I called James my husband. We had married in a private ceremony a year before but same sex marriages were not legal. The police report stated we were two homosexuals cohabitating. Isabella was called a sympathizing neighbor. James was 20 years older than me and had lived in the neighborhood for almost 20 years. The entire time he lived in the house alone he was called that nice neighbor guy who taught history at the university. But when it became obvious that we were a couple and wearing matching wedding bands we became faggots and a threat to the children of the neighborhood. Isabella and family stood closely by me throughout the horrible days and months that followed. Isabella's family made me feel safe and secure and they had my back at all times alot like your Barbara and husband. I survived that period in my life because Isabella and family had stood beside me since my own family abandoned me. Security and acceptance are synonymous if you ask me. In order to get my point across I had to tell about my first husband's death and how much I relied on my friends and neighbors at that crucial time in my life. Today the scourge of misinformation and disinformation, MAGA, homophobia and the smoldering hatred in this country could bring us to a civil war. I don't often talk about James's death as my own broken heart and heart ache has never healed. I can only hope I have made my feelings known and they are a help to someone, someday, somewhere. I try to show my support and acceptance, give comfort and provide a secure enviroment to anyone I come into contact with. That is what I am all about. Love they neighbor! Everyone please be careful, be safe and be happy. And to thine own self be true. Woody in SW Ohio.
Post a Comment