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| Me and Bill today at his rehab facility -Bill in his favorite sweater and blanket |
This morning I took two pairs of pajama bottom pants with pull strings for Bill to wear during his stay at his rehab facility in Dover. His regular jeans are too hard for him to put on because he is so weak.
I was very fortunate again in that they let me go up and see Bill. When I walked into his room his doctor was talking to him. It was a good thing I went up in person today because his doctor had a chance to talk to me as well as his physical therapist and occupational therapist. Always better to ask and answer questions in person to those who are helping Bill get better and return home.
Today the doctors have their weekly evaluation of the patients and decide which ones who will be discharged. I don't know if Bill when be discharged but they did ask me to come back Friday at 8:00 for training for caring for Bill when he returns home.
During my stay for the first time I saw Bill walk, albeit with the help of his physical therapist who steadied him with a wide white strap around his middle, also holding up his XXL (too big for him) scrubs. The pajama bottoms (XL and in his favorite blue color) will fit him better. What a relief to see Bill actually walk. He was tired though because he had just finished about an hour and a half of physical rehab, like walking up steps. I know what physical therapy is like, I did it for three months when I recovered from my torn quadricep leg muscle.
I showed Bill's occupational therapist a video tape I had taken of the entry (from our garage) into our home to our sunroom, where Bill will be sitting most the day. Bill will also probably be sleeping there because he prefers to sleep in his chair. I don't think he can manage the thirteen stairs down to his bedroom so he'll have to sleep in the sunroom. I ordered one of those elderly cushy chair that elevate a person out of the chair. The chair is called a "Elderly-Heavy Duty Power Lift Recliner Chair with Antiskid Fabric Sofa Overstuffed Design". First thing she said "You'll have to take up those throw rugs and the runner rug. A wheel chair can't handle that." Our house is going to look strange/different but I will take up those rugs. This house is going to be Bill friendly.
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| Bill's new chair |
I also had to measure the width of the door from the garage into our house to determine what size wheel chair Bill will return home in. He may have to come in through our front door, which we never use. We may have to use it now. Not a problem.
Life around here will be different when Bill comes home. Adjustments need to be made. I am glad to do that. I am just thankful that I have the opportunity to be with Bill and to care for him at this time of his life.
Bill will be discharged with hospice care. That means we'll have help, which I know I'll need. Bill doesn't like anyone else in the house but I'm sure he will accept now because he knows we'll need that help.
This is the next stage folks. I hope Bill is home by this weekend but if he isn't, next weekend for sure.
My wish is to be with Bill, caring for him during this time, the end of his life. I'm reluctant to write those words but that's what this is, the end of his life. Last week I was so upset and beside myself because I thought I lost Bill and I hadn't had a chance to be with him at the end and tell him I love him. Now I can do that every day. I can make everyday pleasant for him where he wants to be most, here at home with me. This is my privilege.
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| Bill standing up with help today |
9 comments:
Bill looks so much better, can’t wait to hear he is home. I feel terrible I have missed what has happened. My thoughts and prayers are with you both.
The thing that strikes me every time I visit your blog is the pure Love that you and Bill have. So many of us search all our lives for what you have.
Melissa
PS I love Bill’s sweater
“ My wish is to be with Bill, caring for him during this time, the end of his life. I'm reluctant to write those words but that's what this is, the end of his life. Last week I was so upset and beside myself because I thought I lost Bill and I hadn't had a chance to be with him at the end and tell him I love him. Now I can do that every day. I can make everyday pleasant for him where he wants to be most, here at home with me. This is my privilege.”
That, my friend, is the definition of love.
I wish Bill a speedy recovery and return home, and you both more time to continue sharing your home and life together.
Keep us posted.
Hugs.
Sean
Ron,
As is often said A PICTURE IS WORTH A THOUSAND WORDS. The smiles on both of you are priceless. I was encouraged when you reported that you got to speak in person with the team providing Bill's care and yours. Your acceptance of the fact that some changes around your home are necessary to make it "user friendly" for Bill is good thing for Bill and you, too. Life and Love is much more precious than a few decor elements that could very well cause you and the Hospice team some harm. They can always be put back sometime in the future. The only problem I ever had with a hospice team came about when one caregiver realized we were a gay couple and walked off the job in the middle of his shift. Once it was made clear we were a married gay couple and nothing was ever going to change that everything proceeded smoothly. To this very day some of the caregivers remain in contact with me. Ron, I think you are doing a great job managing. Just ask the Hospice what equipment they and the VA provide that will possibly save you the expense of purchasing it. Oh and a word of advice learned from my own experience is EAT and SLEEP and let the caregivers do their job. Lots and lots of Love to both of you from this old busybody in Ohio.
Please Ron , use all the help you can get .
A grown up man is quite heavy to lift in and out of a wheelchair , in and out of bed , visits to the toilet , to take a bath/shower .
They always say : it's like lifting two persons when moving around becomes difficult .
Maybe you are quite a strong man , but you are also 78 and all by yourself .
Hope Bill gets home next weekend .
Woody,
Thank you again for your helpful and informative comments. I always appreciate your advice Woody. You can be sure I will take your advice and EAT and SLEEP and let the caregivers do their job. I can see that necessity now even though Bill isn't home yet. Even though I want to be on call 24/7 for Bill I know my 79 year old body can't take kind of stress. Even if I was thirty years yonnger, my body would not stand that kind of stress. You can be sure I will take every bit of help Medicare and the VA provides to make Bill comfortable here at home. And by the way, our house has a whole new look with those runner rugs up. Maybe I'll keep that!
Ron
Anonymous,
Believe me, I am quite aware that I cannot do all the lifting of Bill myself for his daily living requirements like going to the bathroom, changing clothes, etc. In fact, it is a primary concern of mine. I will get all the help I can get.
Thank you for your comment. Very much appreciated.
Ron
Melissa,
Good to hear from you Melissa! Long time. Yes, Bill looked much better yesterday. Today was a different story, he was drugged up probably because he was so agitated yesterday. I spoke to them about it. I hope he isn't overmedicated when I see him tomorrow.
Yes, Bill and I have that pure love. I've always known I was blessed to have a life with Bill in it That's why it is so wrenching now facing the possibility of living the rest of my life without him. I'm a little more accepting now but still, it is almost unimaginable living my life with this loving man who has been in my life since I was 22 years old. He is the only person in the world who accepted me as I am, flaws and all. Bill never gave up on me, never. My life will never be the same without him. Even writing about it now pains me. I try to cope by telling myself how many others suffer loss, especially during this pandemic. I can't imagine a parent losing a child. I've been lucky, having Bill in my life all these years.
Take care Mellissa,
Ron
Walt,
They like me coming in there, I calm Bill down. It's tough during this COVID time though. Today he was drugged up because he was so agitated yesterday. He wasn't himself this morning. I'm not even sure he knew I was there. Touch times here Walt. I hope my old Bill is back tomorrow when I visit.
Ron
Breenlantern,
Hey, I read my quote and thought "That's actually pretty good. Who wrote that?" I wrote that? Stream of conscientiousness. I'm telling you, Bill and I have been so blessed all these years. So many times I've thought how lucky that we got to spend our lives together when so many others don't. I think you and Jeffrey have that kind of love too. You understand.
Today when I visited Bill wasn't so good, he was drugged up, probably because he was agitated yesterday. He can make quite a ruckus when he doesn't get his way. I hope he wasn't to nasty to those at the rehab who are trying to help him. I visit again tomorrow. I hope I can talk to him. I couldn't this morning because he kept falling asleep. Poor Bill, he didn't want to go this way. But I guess we don't have much choice. His father died a violent death at 21 years old (drunk driving accident). His Mother died suddenly of a brain aneurism at 52 years of age. He always said she was "lucky". Of course I disagreed with him because 52 years is too young to die. We all wish we die in our sleep peacefully, unfortunately most of don't.
Thanks for your comment Sean, always appreciated
Ron
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