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| Bill on his iPad in his favorite Archie Bunker chair in our sunroom |
Today was the first full day of rehab for Bill.
He arrived at the rehab facility last Friday night. I visited him Saturday, bringing his clothes to him. It seems so long ago now though only a few days ago.
There is no physical rehab on the weekends at the facility, giving Bill time to settle in.
Bill called me this morning from his room. This is the best he sounded since he fell and struck his head Thursday, January 17th. His voice is still stressed and he occasionally get confused but he knows who I am and wants to go home. I impressed upon him that he can come home as soon as he improves his mobility.
I received calls from the coordinator at the rehab facility telling me of their plan. Bill will rehab then, if he improves they will send him home to me, his caregiver. They asked me if I was willing to be his full-time caregiver, which I readily agreed to. The good news is that his Medicare Part A covers several visits a week for a limited amount of time from a health care provider to help me. That so greatly relieved me. I remember when I tore my left quadricep muscle and was laid up for twelve weeks. A home health care provider came in three times a week to change my bandages and help me which was a great help to me. Bill's health care aid would provide physical therapy for Bill here at our home. How kind and reasonable that is, health care at home instead of a sterile, lonely facility. Home is always best. Even though the facility where Bill is now is very good, and the people very kind and good, it's still not home.
Later in the day I received a call from the VA. They asked me what Bill's status was now. She informed me that, if needed, after the health care aide time covered by Medicare Part A runs out, the VA will provide a health care aide. This takes a great load off of my mind that I was concerned about. She also told me that Bill could be in hospice care at home. She said hospice doesn't always mean a person is soon to die, he could be in hospice palliative care.
To sum up, Bill is doing physical therapy (and speech) this week at the rehab facility. Maybe at the end of this week or next week Bill can then come home. That is my hope, to get Bill here at home where he can be taken care of in his surroundings where he is the happiest. He can be on his iPad, in his favorite chair, looking out our sunroom windows, see the early robins coming in for spring. Yes, I saw a robin today.
18 comments:
All good news. Through the VA he might qualify for Aid and Comfort which pays for help. Use this time if you can to see your home
through the eyes of someone who has some mobility issues. That is throw rugs, extra furniture that can be pushed out of the way etc.
And think about steps. It can take awhile to get back to using them at full strength. So once a day may be fine but not multiple times.
You'll figure it out. And just being home will help you both get back to your life
Ron, I am so happy for you both that you got to speak by phone today. It does amazing things for one's spirit to hear the comforting sound of a loved one's voice. I must tell you that to see Bill smile when you visited him was chicken soup for this person's soul! I do so love to see Bill smile!! I have had three "adventures" similar to what you are experiencing now. I used to ask myself WHY? Then I would answer myself BECAUSE I LOVE HIM! Ron, I wish I could ease your worries and concerns but I can't. All I can tell you is I survived. What you write here in the blog is so very much like what I went through the first time. I thought I could do it all myself. Hell, I was determined to see my loved one through it. After all I promised him he would spend the last days at home with me. I kept my word. When the time comes you find the strength. He worried about me and I about him. When the struggle was to much for him I had that conversation too many never have. I gave him my permission to close his eyes and let the pain go away. He asked if I was sure and I said yes. He said you always know what to do. He smiled and closed his eyes. No more pain. Ron, it was two or three weeks before it hit me hard and I realized I needed my friends. Their response to my asking for help was "what the hell took you so long?" Don't let caring for Bill wear you down. Take all the help you can get. If you don't do it then when the time comes and Bill really needs you you might not be strong enough to get through it. Your a loving and caring couple you two are. I wish I could give you a bear hug. I have always been a firm believer that through human contact no matter how simple it is, like a squeeze of the hand, we get a renewal of strength we need at times like this. Covid has certainly messed that up. Take care of yourself and Bill. You are a good man, Ron Tipton! I hope I didn't overstep some boundaries relating an experience of mine I just saw what I thought was a need and typed away on the keyboard. You also got a great support team in the group of friends you have. Keep safe and well!
Thanks for the good news update. Please consider home hospice. My mother had home hospice care for about 18 months, my father for 8 months. The RN visited regularly, and was on call whenever we had a question, the MD made a house call at least once a month. The in home care was more plentiful. Even if you have to dip into limited savings, bring in a little help at home. Home is where most people want to live and die.
I am so happy things seem to be progressing with Bill and hope he is able to return home soon. Take all the help you can once he is home, it will make both your lives easier! Keeping you both in my thoughts.
Ron:
I am so happy to see that Bill is progressing. Slow but sure.
Great to read that assistance will be coming to your way-Medicare A and the VA. I know I have pushed for this because I have seen first-hand health caregivers-family-wear themselves to a pulp trying to balance everything. It takes a toll. I volunteered for a spell with a hospice organization where I would visit patients' homes just to give the caregivers a reprieve-even if for a few hours makes all the distance.
I wish Bill nothing but the best in his recovery. Trust me, patients recovers do better in their familiar surroundings-home.
Be well!!
A few things to think about: Is Bill's bedroom on the first floor? Might a hospital bed in his favorite place on the first floor be something to plan on, initially? They can be set up quickly when needed. You might touch base with the social worker at the rehab hospital; they may have a number of resources that will be helpful, and help you plan.
Thinking of you both, and checking in here regularly. Take good care of yourself!
happy news indeed !
Anonymous,
Thank you for your comment. A social worker from the VA has already informed me that the VA will pick up on the home care aid for Bill if needed. That is a big comfort to me and for Bill.
Thank you for your advice about making our home safer for Bill with his mobility issues. I am taking care of that. Those thirteen steps to Bill's bedroom downstairs in the basement, we probably won't be using that unless Bill's mobility really improves.
Thanks again for your comment.
Ron
Woody in Ohio,
Thank you Woody for sharing your story with me. I have had "that" conversation with Bill, when it is time to let go. What I felt so bad about his accident on the 14th, was that we would die and I wasn't with him. I know that we all die. Preferably Bill dies before I do because I could handle being alone better than Bill could. As I have often said, and Bill has told me, he only lives for me. My goal now is to get him home here and care for him and be with him should his time come. A home health care aid will be helping us.
My friends are a big help at this time. My neighbor Bob, whose wife died one year ago today, called me today to ask about Bill. I talk t my other friends Pat and Larry every day. I also talk to Glenn and Don. It helps to talk. And my blogger friends are a big help.
Thanks again Woody for your empathy and support.
Ron
Travel (David),
Thank you for your advice. I am having home hospice. That was advised by Bill's social case worker at the VA. She said to make sure when Bill is released from the rehab facility, to have "hospice" included in the papers. She said "hospice" doesn't always mean imminent death. There is "palliative hospice" which I didn't know about. Bill is 92 years old and much weaker and will still have serious medical issues (a-fig, edema, and blood clots). The important thing is to have Bill at home with me when he passes. I don't think I could stand it if he passed in some facility away from me. He called me today from the rehab facility where he is now and all he could talk about was wanting to come home. Tomorrow his doctors will do an evaluation. Hopefully he can come home soon.
Ron
Postcard Cindy,
Thank you for your comment. I will certainly take all the help Bill and I can get.
Ron
Us-spo,
Indeed, very good news!
Ron
VRCooper,
I wasn't expecting health care aid at home so it was a great relief when I was informed that Bill and I would have that help. I know the challenges of being the sole caregiver but I was willing to do it, just to be with Bill. I am glad I'm living at a time when there is a realization that older folks, who are getting weaker and near the end of their life, fare so much better at their home. It's good for their loved ones too. I am so glad I have the opportunity to take care of Bill at this time of his life. At this time I think of all those older folks who don't have someone to care for them at their home and they're in a cold, lonely institutional setting during their last days. Hopefully that won't happen with me and Bill and it looks like it won't now.
Thanks for your comment Vick.
Ron
Anonymous,
All good advice. Thank you, I appreciate your help and concern. Helps me greatly get through this.
Ron
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