Friday, August 22, 2014

My Canadian Adventure Continues - The Hotel Room

My daily "We're not in Kansas anymore Toto" picture

Well folks, as my regular followers have probably already noticed, I missed a day.  I'm starting to lose track of time.  The days are running together.  So let's bring Ron's Canadian Adventure up to date.

"Stuff that clown car!"

After leaving Dr. Spo and Someone, Pat and I retreated to our Groupon discounted room at the Howard Johnson hotel (yes, THAT Howard Johnson) a few blocks away from the Marriott Residence Inn in downtown Toronto where Urspo and Someone were ensconced.  Folks, our room at the Howard Johnsons hotel (a misnomer "Hotel" if there ever was one) was . . . . um . . . AWFUL.  Dark, dreary, rundown and with a total view of a brick wall.  
Pat checks out the view from our hotel room at the Howard Johnson's in downtown Toronto "Where's the sky?"

Now before anyone thinks I'm an ingrate, I want to thank Pat for his generous and sincere effort to accommodate me in air conditioned surroundings but this just didn't work.  And to top everything off, we misplaced our overnight bags.  I went down to the front desk to ask for a tooth brush and toothpaste.  Of course the next day we found our toiletry bag in the back of Pat's Fiat on the floor.  Urspo and Someone must of placed it there when we were playing Stuff the Clown Car on the way to the Toronto Exhibition.  

Someone stuffs himself into the clown car on the way to the Toronto Exhibition

Get this folks, the TV in the room was one of those old monster tube TV's.  GAWD.  Then we tried to watch it and we couldn't see it from the footboard at the base of the bed.  We couldn't prop ourselves up on our pillows, if you could call them pillows.  Folks, this was a king sized bed with little itsy bits teeny weeny lumpy pillows.  Sounds like a song title doesn't it.  Believe me, we weren't laughing.  Poor Pat, he was so embarrassed.  And the duvet.  Talk about lumps.  The owner of the hotel where I work in Lewes would have passed out from The Vapors if we put such ratty duvets on our kings sized beds.  

I don't know how we did it but we did.  Upon awakening in the morning and brushing our teeth, we decided to try the breakfast that comes with the room. I was leary, after seeing the room and the accommodations but Pat said "It can't be that bad."  Folks, what do you think?  Seriously, what do you think the breakfast was like?  Go ahead, I'll give you a few moments to ponder this question:

Got an answer?    

Here, I'll give you a choice:

  1. Fantastic
  2. Good
  3. Fair
  4. Poor
  5. Twilight Zone
One, two, three, four or five folks?  READY?

Here is your answer:

Folks, I don't consider myself a snob. I've always considered myself one of the common folks.  I come from humble origins.  One step up from White Trash. But folks, as we entered this narrow, windowless, room off the lobby and saw those Edge of the Social Fabric folks look at us with that look that said "Don't pity us, this is all we can afford."  I at once felt so guilty for my latent snobbery and yet there was NO WAY I was going to join that Star Wars bar scene for my breakfast. 

Breakfast at the Howard Johnson hotel in downtown Toronto
I know, I know.  I am such an unrepentant snob.  And I admit that I would probably fit right in with this crew with barely a ripple and yet, what little self-esteem I have left in my advanced years I will cling to.

Folks, there is so much to write about my ongoing Canadian Adventure but time grows short.  Pat is at yoga now and I'm trying to catch up on my blog, e-mails and reading other blogs.  By the way, my weight is down to under 160 lbs!  159 to be exact.  I'm eating well. We had Indian takeout

last night and ate at Pat's house and then immersed ourselves into a very competitive game of Scrabble.  I haven't played since I was knee high to a grasshopper (eleven years old).  Of course I was throughly trounced by Pat (355 to 176).  I get a chance to redeem myself tonight.  We'll play before we go out to see a live band play.  We were supposed to do that last night but made the fatal mistake of "taking a nap" before we were to leave at about 10:00 PM, in time for the band setup.  Of course you know happened.  We were dead asleep, gone to this world when we woke up at 10:30 PM.  Too late to venture out into that dark night.  Turn over and go back to sleep, which we did.  

And the Adventure continues:

Someone, Pat and Urspo enter the Toronto Exhibition gates


nitewrit said...


Of course the Howard Johnson is just a purchased name now. It belongs to the Wyndham group along with such places as Day's Inn and Super 8. I was wondering why you were staying in a hotel. By the way, to put you on track of time, it is Friday as I write and you are beginning your second week, believe it or not.


slugmama said...

Not to be a nit picker but it's the Canadian Ex not the Toronto Ex. ;-)

And I've stayed at a few "Twilight Zone-ish" motels in my day and lived to tell the tale.
I think y'all need to go back to the Ex and ride that Scrambler too. lol

Jack said...

As you say, the adventure continues. Seems like overall everything is going well. Good weather, great friends and great food. The little hiccups that go along are just part of the adventure. I was unaware that ANY Howard Johnson hotels even existed at all. Obviously this one slipped by when they were phasing out. I had a similar experience with Motel 6 that I won't even go into other than to say the HoJo hotel was 4 star compared.
One week down, one to go. May the Vacation Gods continue to shine down on you and Pat. Also Dr. Spo and Someone.

Ron said...

The Red Roof Inn that I stayed at in Johnson City, Tennessee was worse. It was dark and smelled of axel grease and stale smoke. Truckers stayed there. It was a dump.
Today my tour guide and host took me to the Yorkdale Mall. Very impressive. The adventure continues!

Ron said...

Pat was afraid I wouldn't be comfortable at his place because he doesn't have air conditioning. He had a Groupon coupon so he took advantage of it and rented a hotel room. He didn't really have to but he couldn't get his deposit back. I just count a bad experience like that up to an "experience." We've been very lucky so far this week. The weather has been ideal and we haven't needed air conditioning.

Can you believe how fast the first week went? That's why I decided to stay two weeks. I knew the first week would go fast. I just hope by the end of the second week I don't stink like a fish.


Ron said...

Thank you! I was calling it the "Toronto Expo." I'm trying my best to be a typical Ugly American. You should have seen me today trying to figure out Canadian coinage. Where are the pennies? That's a quarter? What's a nickel look like? Where's the Buffalo on the back?

Anonymous said...

You guys are too cool. I envy you! I am so glad you're having the time of your life!

Peace <3

Anonymous said...

Have you experienced Tim Horton's yet?

Ron said...

It has been interesting. A real adventure.

Ron said...

No, I haven't experienced Tim Horton's yet but I see them all over Toronto. It's just a matter of time until I imbibed.

slugmama said...

Just remember "Loonies and Toonies" and those aren't quarters! lolz

Ron said...

I've already stumbled a few times with trying to figure out what I have in coins. Perhaps the funniest thing is expecting dollar bills in return and getting "quarters."

Jon said...

Well, at least Howard Johnson wasn't as bad as the Bate's Motel ("Twelve rooms, twelve vacancies").
An amusing post, as always. I'm enjoying your Canadian adventure.

Ur-spo said...

You can't leave until you experience TH !!!!