Ron Mowing Grass - Thought on a Summer Sunday in the Time of the Covid Pandemic

Yes folks, I'm mowing our grass now. Our lot is almost an acre (.97). For the past thirteen years Bill has mowed our lawn. However, now Bill can no longer operate our John Deere zero degree riding mower because he has trouble figuring out how to turn it in. Just another incremental step in Bill's cognitive decline. No problem, I'll mow our grass now. Actually, I enjoy mowing the grass. Bill also enjoying mowing the grass but it's just too much for him now. In fact, I may mow our grass after I complete this blog posting. 



I usually mow our grass every Tuesday but we had a heavy rainstorm pass through here the day before yesterday. Followed hot, sunny greenhouse temperatures.  The grass needs mowing again.



It looks like I'm updating my blog about once a week here.  Remember the days when I used to post daily? Sometimes twice a day? Those days are long gone. Why? I just have a lot more activity on my plate these days.



I usually talk to Pat on FaceTime at his home in Hamilton, Ontario, Canada several times a day. I also call my longtime friend Larry (seventy years, since third grade 1950) who is now in a rehab facility. Larry, if you'll remember, was diagnosed with ALS three years ago. The first three years his physical decline was slow but these past few months his decline has accelerated.  I almost always talk to Larry on FaceTime but over a week ago I couldn't make contact with him. A few days ago he left a message for me on my phone.  He had suffered a small stroke and was in a rehab facility.  He's been there ten days now, getting bored and anxious to get back to his home with his family (wife and daughter) and their cats. He's undergoing therapy now to help him maintain his balance when walking but he won't be doing much walking in the future because of the fear of falling. He's already fallen several times, taking quite a beating. He's been resisting using his wheel chair but I think he won't have much choice now since he can't maintain his balance when walking. When I see and hear of someone in Larry's condition, I am again reminded of how fortunate I am to get around on my now, for the time being at least. I fear falling too and have taken my share the worst being three years ago when I feel on the ice after leaving work and tearing my left let quadricep muscle. God, I don't want anything like that happening again or else I'll be spending time in a rehab facility.



I'm still going to work two days a week at the hotel. Actually we're quite busy at the hotel, people anxious to get out and leaving a normal life, or as "normal" as one can in this age of the COVID pandemic. I feel sorry for them, coming in with masks covering their faces meeting me with a mask covering my fabulous smile. That smile, I knew I was missing something in my job. I have to tell you folks, my job isn't that enjoyable as it has been in the past. But again, I know I am very fortunate that I have a job which I will continue to work until I get laid off again which will probably happen in the fall when the government's stimulus money runs out.



Bill and I are still free of the corona virus. I don't know anyone who has it, thank goodness.  I do everything possible to protect Bill. When I go shopping Bill stays in the car. He likes the ride. My only contact with others outside shopping is occasional with my neighbor Bob M. which is only about once a week (and who knows who he was in contact with), and when I shop.  I always wash my hands and when at work I keep my distance from the guests even though I'm behind plexiglass. 



I'm rambling now folks. Time to end this blog post and get on with my yard work, which is never done. I love yard work but not so much in this oppressive humidity. I can only do a little bit at a time. 



Have a great day everyone and stay safe!

Happy 56th Anniversary

Bill and me this morning on our back deck

Today is our 56th anniversary of the date Bill and I met at the Westbury Bar in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. 

July 3rd, 1964 on a rainy night I was flying solo at the Westbury Bar located at 15th and Spruce Streets in center city Philadelphia. Usually my weekend visits to the bar was with my friends Ed Cage and Ron Hampton, both gone now. This particular Saturday night both Ed and Ron had other "engagements" (dates). I was on my own. 

I was undecided even if I wanted to go out this Saturday night because of the light rain and center city being basically deserted because of the holiday weekend. Most gays of that era either went to Fire Island New York, Provincetown, Massachusetts or the Jersey Shore (Atlantic City/Wildwood, Ocean City, et al).  I didn't have enough money to spread my gay wings to explore those cruising grounds thus I retreated to my favorite gay bar, the Westbury Bar, which now is a discount drug store. Oh if those walls could talk.

While lounging at the far corner of the bar, perusing the room for new faces I was interrupted by the bartender, Jerry Hawes (also gone now).  He handed me a drink (my usual, gin and tonic) and nodded to the older (35) gentleman on the other side of the bar. "Oh no" I thought, "It's him."  The prior three months or so that "gentleman" had been sending me drinks with the obvious goal of picking me up.  

The first time Jerry the bartender tapped me on the shoulder while I was engaged in a gossipy conversation with my friends Ed and Ron, to give me that complimentary gin and tonic from that gentleman. I said "Who?" to Jerry and he pointed across to the other side of the bar near the Skeet Ball machine to a black haired, smiling "older" man. I thought "Oh no, not him."  "Him" was Bill Kelly, my now partner/husband of fifty-six years.  

Bill had been trying to pick me up for months with the complimentary gin and tonics but I wasn't that type of guy.  For one thing, even though Bill was (and still is) a very attractive man, he wasn't my "type."  I generally prefer smaller, bookish, nerdy guys, not what I perceived what Bill was, a Mr. Personality who could get whoever he wanted. 

I had seen Bill with his friends playing Skeet Ball, whooping it up, having a good time. When I realized that this guy sent me that drink I thought "Oh no, I'm not going to be the next notch in your gun."  No way, no how.  I may be easy but I'm no slut.  I was looking for love, not a one night stand. I had my aura of mystery to maintain after all.

Those drinks continued every time I was in the bar and Bill was there. I always acknowledged the drink but I never went over and talked to him. However, on this Saturday night, with the rain falling gently outside, and seeing Bill sitting by himself at one of those little round tables that the Westbury Bar had at that time, smiling at me when I looked over at him after Jerry handing me the latest gin and tonic.  I thought to myself "At least I can go over and thank him in person", being the nice guy that I am.  I fully expected him to exhibit an attitude that he made a "down payment" on spending the night with me by all those drinks he bought for me. I had my exit plan.  

I lifted my free gin and tonic and left my safe place at the corner or the bar and sauntered over to Bill sitting at that little round table. He smiled at me. I said "I want tohank you for all those drinks you've been sending to me" and prepared to exit quickly.  However, Bill's response wasn't what I expected. He smiled and said "you're welcome."  I don't remember exactly what he said next but what I do remember was that he didn't put the hard press on me like so many others had. I think he asked me where my friends (Ron and Ed) were.  I told him.  I was standing while he was sitting. My impression of him was that he was a nice guy. Not the overly aggressive bore that I assumed he was.  It wasn't long before I was sitting at that little round table with him and we were engaged in a conversation at that sparsely occupied bar.  

After a couple of house of conversation he asked me how I was going to get home. I said that Ron and Ed were supposed to stop by and pick me up but I hadn't heard from them.  This was before the age of cell phones, except perhaps for Maxwell Smart with that shoebox size "portable phone." When I missed my ride with Ed and Ron I would spend the night at the YMCA a few blocks from the Westbury Bar ($10 a night, that location is now a foo-foo hotel - French - that charges a LOT more than $10 a night for a young gay guy who didn't have a ride home).  Bill invited me to spend the night at his apartment in Pennsauken New Jersey. He said he would drive me to my home in Coatesville, Pennsylvania the next day.  After talking to Bill I felt comfortable enough with him that he wasn't the boring ogre that I thought he was and I wouldn't be just another notch in his gun.  And you know what folks? Fifty-six years later, even though we've been through many hills and valleys in our relationship, we're still together. 

And that my friends is how I met my husband. 

Groundhog Day

Almost every day I wake up at ten minutes to seven AM. Seems no matter what time at night I go to bed, I awake at ten to seven. Thus begins my day.

Bill usually gets up much earlier than I do. His circadian rhythm is almost the exact opposite of my sleep pattern.

I usually don't go to bed until 12:30 or 1:00 AM.  Yes, I'm a night owl.  I can stay up that late because I almost always have a long afternoon nap of two hours or more. Today I laid my old head down on my memory foam pillow at around 2 PM.  I didn't wake up until 5:05 PM.  Yes, a whole three hours of an-time for Ron.  And to think I used to tease my Mother about all her daily naps. Now I'm there.

Bill used to get up about 4:30 AM for his breakfast. These days I try to get to bed before he gets up at 12:30 AM for his "breakfast".  Yes, he does get up that early now. 

These days we're managing our declining mental and physical conditions. 

As I have mentioned  before in this blog, Bill eyesight is failing. He has macular degeneration. He also is very heard of hearing.  Lately he's been in a very noticeable cognitive decline. Sometimes it's funny like him trying to put on his outside shoes before taking off his indoor moccasins, which he's done more than once. Sometimes it is more serious like he forgets whole conversations I've had with him, the latest being about me purchasing a new tree for our backyard. We went through this whole process this last Sunday when he went with me to a local garden center where I purchased an Autumn Red tree to shade our deck.  For years I've been trying to convince him that we needed a tree in that location to at least partially block that brutal late afternoon summer sun that heats up the back of our house during the summer. He didn't want a tree in that location because he would have to mow around it. However, now that I'm mowing the lawn (Bill can no longer mow the lawn because he doesn't know how to start our riding mower), "mowing around the tree" is no longer a reason not to plant a tree in that location. 

Thus it was with some consternation today when I told him the tree was going to be delivered today he said "What tree?"  I said to him "The tree that we went shopping for last Sunday. The tree that we've been discussing for the past month."  Now today we were back at Square One.

This is not only frustrating for me but I'm sure it is for Bill. This is life now days folks. 

Every morning when I round the corner from my bedroom to our kitchen, Bill is waiting for me, sitting in his favorite chair in our sunroom. Thus begins our day again. 

These days I  try to keep our days as stress free as possible. Bill doesn't like change or any disruption to his routine. He is most comfortable with a regular routine. Tomorrow the tree is scheduled to be delivered. I'll have to explain it to him all over again. 

Ground hog day.

Self Isolating At Our Home In Delaware June 2020

Good morning folks! I'm still here, self isolating in Delaware.  

Bill and I are doing fine. No virus detected here....yet.  I still take Bill out for his daily ride but he stays in our car while I go into the store or garden center for my regular outings to stimulate the economy.

I'm back on my regular work schedule at the hotel, Mondays and Thursdays, second shift. Hotel occupancy is picking up but nowhere near that it was last year during this peak summer tourist season.  I wear a mask at work and am behind plexiglass. Not comfortable with the mask (hard to breath) but wearing a mask is necessary.  Also necessary is wiping down all surfaces when I begin my shift, but I've been doing that for years now anyway, probably why I've avoided getting a bad cold or flu the past several years.  

I've already missed my spring trip to Philadelphia with Pat and visiting our friend Don. Normally at the end of summer I visit Pat at his home in Hamilton, Ontario. I've already cancelled that flight.  Hopefully we can meet up in Philadelphia in November, right after my birthday and when Trump is defeated.  Oh how I remember that awful birthday I had four years ago when Trump was elected to the presidency with Russia's help. Ain't going to happen this time folks. Going to be interesting how they remove Trump from the White House when his fat ass is beaten in November, because you know he's going to claim the election was "rigged" and will not leave on his own accord.  Interesting times folks. 

On Hiatus

Hello folks. Not to worry, I'm still here. I'm just taking a bit of a hiatus. All is well here. Just caught up in daily living and yard work and playing on line Scrabble. Need to relax in this time of the horrific last months of the Trump debacle and pandemic.

Also trying to figure out the new Blogger "update" site. I'm getting too old for these updates. Now to figure out how to post this post.

Updates

Well, I just figured out how to post a new blog. Yes, Blogger had a new update that for the life of me, I can't see how it improves my use of Blogger.  Before when I wanted to post a new blog, I went to the message that said "New Post".  Now I have to look for a big red plus at the bottom of my screen. Wow.  

I don't know about you but with almost all of the updates whether it be my IOS system on my Apple toys (iMac, Macbook, iPad and iPone), I don't see how my experience has improved. 

My latest frustration with this the Scrabble game on Facebook. For five years now I've been playing online Scrabble with Pat. He have eight games going at a time, usually updating them three or four times a day.  Then Facebook informed all who were playing the Scrabble game they were starting a new Scrabble game. "New and improved."  Ha! I resisted but finally gave in and began playing this new video game version of Scrabble. I think of all the old ladies in assisted living facilities who play have been playing online Scrabble for years and are now faced with the "new and improved" Scrabble games. I complained as did many others online to Facebook. You know how much those complains effective. Nada. They're going to do what they're going to do. I'm playing the new bells and whistles Scrabble. I'm getting "rewards" I know not for what. I suspect somewhere down the line they're going to ask me for money for the privilege of playing Scrabble online. I was paying for playing the classic Scrabble but I'm not paying for this new version. But I am playing, under protest.

Ron and Mom On Overnight Train June 4 2001

Nineteen years ago my Mother and I fulfilled a lifetime dream, that was to take a private room overnight train. We had both seen these glamorous train trips in old movies and when the opportunity came up to actually take one of these train trips, we took advantage of the opportunity.

My youngest brother John had invited us down to his home in Greenville, South Carolina to visit with him and his wife Barbara and daughter Nancy.  We could have taken a flight down, which my Mother had done previously by herself but this time we thought we would be more adventurous. Interestingly, the plane trip would have cost less.

The entire trip took about twelve hours. We boarded at 30th Street Station in Philadelphia about 5 o'clock after taking a train from Downingtown to Philadelphia. We arrived in Greenville about 7:30 AM the following morning, where my brother John was at the train station to meet us with his car to take us to his home for our stay.

The trip was a delight as you can tell from this one minute video compilation.  We also ate in the dining car which was very nice, just like in the movies. White linen table cloth and all.  

Looking at this video tape I am reminded of the easy camaraderie that I had with my Mother. I was her first born and her favorite (according to my brothers, I never noticed).  

This video was taken June 4th, 2001. Several years later as my Mother's health declined, we (my two brothers, the other of which she was living with in our old family home in Downingtown) moved her permanently to live with John at his home in Greenville, South Carolina. She didn't want to move there permanently but we promised her that we wouldn't put her in a nursing home and John had a mother-in-law apartment at his home which was perfectly suited for her. 

The last time I saw her was in 2010, several months before her death. She was mad at me because my brother Isaac and I had tricked her into going to John's place permanently. She was all packed and ready to go back to Pennsylvania with me and Bill. But we couldn't, she needed more care than Isaac could provide for her or that Bill and I could provide for her. My brother John was/is a care pastor and his mother-in-law lived with them for twenty-nine years. Yes, John is a saint. 

John is very ill now and his daughter is taking care of him at his home. I am sending him this video to remind him of happier times when both Mom and I could laugh. 

Mom is in a better place now.  Thank God she didn't have to go through this pandemic and Trump, although she would have been one of those Trumpers. She was addicted to Fox News.

Looking at this video brings me comfort and happiness at this stressful time in my life.

Bill is failing. I'm failing. Our country is failing.

I'll look at this video many times before I pass on. 

And for those of you who disdain photos and videos, this is why I take them folks. Sure, I believe in living in the moment but I also believe in reliving the moment and for that belief, I will never apologize.  

Every one makes choices in life. I'm glad I made this choice. My Mother gave me my first camera (a Kodak brownie) for Christmas when I was eleven years old. I've been taking pictures and now videos ever since. Thank you Mom. 

Thank you, thank you, thank you.