Bill usually gets up much earlier than I do. His circadian rhythm is almost the exact opposite of my sleep pattern.
I usually don't go to bed until 12:30 or 1:00 AM. Yes, I'm a night owl. I can stay up that late because I almost always have a long afternoon nap of two hours or more. Today I laid my old head down on my memory foam pillow at around 2 PM. I didn't wake up until 5:05 PM. Yes, a whole three hours of an-time for Ron. And to think I used to tease my Mother about all her daily naps. Now I'm there.
Bill used to get up about 4:30 AM for his breakfast. These days I try to get to bed before he gets up at 12:30 AM for his "breakfast". Yes, he does get up that early now.
These days we're managing our declining mental and physical conditions.
As I have mentioned before in this blog, Bill eyesight is failing. He has macular degeneration. He also is very heard of hearing. Lately he's been in a very noticeable cognitive decline. Sometimes it's funny like him trying to put on his outside shoes before taking off his indoor moccasins, which he's done more than once. Sometimes it is more serious like he forgets whole conversations I've had with him, the latest being about me purchasing a new tree for our backyard. We went through this whole process this last Sunday when he went with me to a local garden center where I purchased an Autumn Red tree to shade our deck. For years I've been trying to convince him that we needed a tree in that location to at least partially block that brutal late afternoon summer sun that heats up the back of our house during the summer. He didn't want a tree in that location because he would have to mow around it. However, now that I'm mowing the lawn (Bill can no longer mow the lawn because he doesn't know how to start our riding mower), "mowing around the tree" is no longer a reason not to plant a tree in that location.
Thus it was with some consternation today when I told him the tree was going to be delivered today he said "What tree?" I said to him "The tree that we went shopping for last Sunday. The tree that we've been discussing for the past month." Now today we were back at Square One.
This is not only frustrating for me but I'm sure it is for Bill. This is life now days folks.
Every morning when I round the corner from my bedroom to our kitchen, Bill is waiting for me, sitting in his favorite chair in our sunroom. Thus begins our day again.
These days I try to keep our days as stress free as possible. Bill doesn't like change or any disruption to his routine. He is most comfortable with a regular routine. Tomorrow the tree is scheduled to be delivered. I'll have to explain it to him all over again.
Ground hog day.
12 comments:
Groundhog Day. Now I get the reference. Hugs to you both.
Tommy swears I make things up. He does not remember whole conversations/topics. He says the problem is mine. No, it is not! It is hard because Tommy is only 66! Unfortunately, I can nap just about anytime. Sleep comes hard at night, however, even if I do not nap.
It must be hard on Bill, losing his sight.
I'm definitely more of a Bill- even when I was a kid, I was always the first one up. These days I'm in bed around 7:30 and up by 4 AM. The few times I'm up later, I still wake up that early. i never nap though. I can't fall asleep during the day. I love your groundhog day title- yes, for sure. I'm starting to get BORED. That word was never allowed in my house either growing up or as an adult with 3 kids LOL. Sorry about Bill- that is one of my fears besides choking and I have told my son, bring the pills if I start to go.
Deedles,
I eventually get around to the tie in. I know sometimes my references are too vague.
Ron
Practical Parsimony (Linda),
At least Bill doesn't blame me for the problem of not remembering. He knows he forgets. I think a lot of it has to do with his hearing loss. Almost all of my conversation with Bill I have to repeat myself several (three or four) times for him to understand. I too can nap at anytime and I sleep hard at night, maybe too hard. You're right, Bill is taking the loss of his eyesight very hard. He blames the eye doctor. We've been through all the tests at the VA, including images of his eyes. However, I think he is slowly coming to terms with this new reality.
Ron
Nan,
Each one of us had our own particular rhythm for sleeping. I'm thankful we can sleep and wake up when our body tells us rather than the artificial wake up hours we had to endure when we had 9 to 5 jobs during our work life. Bill also has a swallowing problem. He has to be very careful what he eats because food easily gets stuck in his throat. We also have our "pills" available if and when "that" time comes. We're not nursing home bound for our final exit, that's for sure.
Thanks for your comment. Have a great day!
Ron
I am seeing this in my father as well; Bill is fortunate to have you there.
I am only 67 and experiencing a mild version of everything you describe as happening to Bill, the man with the great smile. Then on the other hand I know very much about what you are going through because I was caregiver for many elderly friends. They were all alone and last of once large families. Finding themselves in need of a manager of their lives and investments they turned to me, their friend. Everyone of them knew and hated what was happening to them but accepted it and talked about it. All any of them asked from me was that their lives remained as close to the normal routine of the past. The biggest thing was to stay in their homes and die in their own beds and if possible not alone. They all needed the touch and love and security of another person they could trust. I was it. I often went home or back to the office crying and beating on the steering wheel with my fist. An elderly priest said something to me that changed everything. He said what I as feeling was a draining of my life from me. He asked what I noticed when I visited my friends under my care. I said they seemed renewed and full of life and contentment but I was physically drained and needed the love of my companion. He said it was normal and so was my feeling. So has not to be boring I will wind this up and say I have a terminal brain injury from a fall. I am prepared for the end as I have seen it happen to so many and been their with them. I suffer horrible pain managed by drugs. The very best medicine is visits from real friends and my legal team. But there is a special young man who visits, or did before covid19, and now calls me. I explained how much he means to me and my theory of drawing the regenerating life from him and he surprised with his answer. He says I known it all along and truly believe that is why you are doing so well. So Ron, maybe your situation with Bill and with Pat is a lot like what I feel and experience. Keep on doing it and don't change a thing. Life is life live it to the fullest that you can! Cheers from College Town Guy aka Woody in Ohio
Ur-spo,
I guess if we live long enough many of us will experience this mental decline. It is sad. I am glad I am here to help Bill . Sometimes I'm not as patient as I should be and I have to readjust my attitude. Each day is a challenge. I am so thankful though at 91 years of age Bill can still live at home.
Ron
College Town Guy,
Thank you very much for your thoughtful and insightful comments about caring for your elderly friends. Your friends were very fortunate to have you to help them at the end of their lives. I am glad you have a young friend to help you at this time of your life. Be well my friend and stay safe during this time of the COVID pandemic.
Ron
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