Short and Sweet

Me, shopping without my walker this morning, YES!

Hey folks, I'll make this short and sweet.

I visited my orthopedic doctor this morning.  He took one look at my injured leg and said "You're coming along fine! Do you feel you still need your walker?"  I said "No!"

I told him that I would like to go back to using my cane.  He said that was all right but that, at the rate I'm going, I may not even need my cane in two weeks.  In fact, he said that I could probably take off my leg brace. 

Well, I'm not THAT comfortable yet and I reminded him that the night I fell on the ice ways back on that dark and cold night of February 18th, that I feel TWICE more and I was just lucky that I didn't cause more serious injury to other parts of my body like my hips or a head injury.  After I fell on the ice, when I was going back in the hotel to gather myself, my leg just gave out and I went down to the floor like a sack of potatoes.  Same thing happened later in the evening (morning actually, 3 AM after I left the emergency room) I fell at home coming out of the bathroom when I tried to do a turn . . . again my leg gave way and I hit the floor like a sack of potatoes, hitting my subwoofer next to my TV and taking out part of the drywall of my bedroom. Needless to say I have to gain my confidence back in standing on my own two legs.

But this was great news today.  After we left the doctor's office, we went shopping at Food Lion.  Thank goodness I didn't have to slow everyone down with my walker.  I used my cane this time.  My cane and leaning on the grocery cart.  It was wonderful folks!  

Freedom!

I asked him about the continuing swelling in my foot.  He said that would go away once I got this tourniquet of a leg brace off of my leg.  

My next appointment is two weeks hence.  He expects me to be off the leg brace by then.  In the meantime he wants me to exercise my leg by bending it a bit more.  Not too much but enough to get past the 15% bend that I have now.  

Baby steps folks, baby steps.  But I'm getting better!  

Hallelujah!

Thoughts on This Easter Sunday 2015

Happy Easter folks, for those of you who celebrate this most Christian of holidays.

I used to be a Christian (raised as Southern Baptist) but these days I guess you could call me a secularist or a spiritualist.  I'm definitely not a Southern Baptist with their discriminatory views of born homosexuals like me.  

Funny thing, when I was young I used to like going to church.  I even have a perfect attendance certificate for summer bible school when I was eight years old. I always felt a sense of comfort and inclusion when I went to church.  That feeling of inclusion ended when my Aunt Peg (whom I liked very much) took me to one of her Pentecostal church meetings. I will never forget that Sunday.  I was about ten years old.  I remember the preacher, red in the face and actually foaming at the mouth; screaming:

YOU'RE ALL SINNERS!

YOU WERE BORN IN SIN!

YOU WILL DIE IN SIN!

Oh yes, I was in shock.  The first thought that came to my ten year old mind was "I didn't choose to be born so what am I guilty of?" 

Pentecostal preaching - screaming and red in the face and foam around the mouth

And if I'm going to be a sinner my whole life and die in sin then what is the purpose of my life?

That was the turning point in my life with organized religion folks.  Not that there aren't good people who are in organized religion.  I remember Rev. Pennington of a church me and my Mom used to attend in Valley Forge, Pennsylvania.  He was a nice and gentle man with a sweet wife.  He always had a pleasant and non threatening sermon that helped me learn about dealing with life. And after the sermon he would stand by the door of the church, which his wife beside him (she always wore a crystal necklace that my Mother admired) and sincerely greet and listen (actually listen) to each parishioner as they left. Sad to say, he retired and I haven't experienced a reverend since who was as sincere, caring or uplifting as Reverend Pennington. 

The Pagans want their holidays back!

These days what I see of organized Christianity is on the news of evangelical Christians who condemn be as "less than" because I am a gay man.  They say "You are against God's will."  They judge me as unworthy until or unless I change into what they are, straight and subservient to their mythical God who is so quick to anger. 

So when these Christian holidays like Easter roll around what I see is a thin veneer of copying ancient pagan holidays.  Easter to me is a time or rebirth. Springtime the green returns to replace the gray monochrome of winter. All this "Jesus died for your sins" mantra, it never did make sense to me.  

To me Christianity and that other major religion, Muslim is based on fear.  "You do this or else God is going to be mad and punish you." Those threats may have worked in the medieval times and even these days in the Muslim world of the Middle East to keep the Great Unwashed in check while their rulers continue to control their lives with promises of a better afterlife. Just doesn't make sense. To me, if this religion thing is true, then Jesus (or whoever) will welcome me into Heaven because I am a good person, which I am. I know it even if the so-called "good Christians" do not.  

Oh sure, I know many find comfort in religion.  That's all fine and well if you're straight and fit in with your own tribe.  And tribal fidelity is, after all, what religion is all about anyway isn't it folks?

I know what I believe in, good people.  I don't ask what their religion is or even if they practice it.  I don't condemn or judge those who practice religion or who do not practice religion. I judge people by how they treat other people. Not how organized religion tells them they should behave or how I should behave.

Well, I'm starting to ramble on.  This is what I am fairly certain of.  For many of those who pound their chests about how they are so much better than the rest of us because they BELIEVE . . . . all you have to do is look at someone like Ted Cruz and think "He's going to Heaven?"  

The Texas senator by way of Canada - the antithesis of a Christian - judgmental, condemning, non-inclusive and dishonest - a truly evil man

Just take a look at some of these religious folks and think "Do they practice true Christianity?" You know, the one that has the Golden Rule:

So folks, whatever your beliefs this Easter Sunday (and I make no judgements here folks, if you're a regular church goer I do not condemn, I'm happy that you're happy that you find comfort in your faith), my best wishes to you. And don't forget, many stores have half off Easter candy tomorrow.

Pat Gets Patted Down

Me, Nadege and Pat at Curry Palace (?) - don't we make a good-looking trio?

Continuing on from yesterday's post where we met our friend Nadege in Little Tokyo, Los Angeles . . . . we met for lunch.  Since the three of us like Indian cuisine we decided to have lunch at an Indian restaurant nearby, whose name I have forgotten now.  

Our spicy Indian entrees arrived, YUM!

Both Pat and I like spicy food, something else we have in common. Pat lives a few blocks from India Town in Toronto.  You know where we often ate when I visited Pat last August in Toronto? Yep, Indian town and spicy, spicy veggie dishes. We asked Nadege for a recommendation of a nearby Indian restaurant when we met her in Little Tokyo. I think the name of the restaurant was "Curry Hot Palace" or something like that.



Poor Pat, after a few bites of his "Mama Mia, that's a spicy dish", his forehead broke out into beads of sweat.  Nadege had to pat the rivulets of sweat off of Pat's forehead.  You just can't take Pat anywhere (smile).

After our spicy entrees, we opted to share a cool cheesecake. I forget what was in it but it was a very light cheesecake.  In fact it wasn't even a cheesecake since this was a vegan restaurant.  It was made out of something (Nadege or Pat will correct me after they read this post) other than a dairy product but it was absolutely delicious.  In fact, better than a cheesecake.  

Getting ready to dive into the "cheesecake". Pat has recovered from his spicy encounter with his lunch

You know folks, looking at these pictures and videos of my friends Nadege and Pat, I am reminded again of the benefit of associating with friends who bring out the best in you. Both Nadege and Pat are just good folks. They don't have a negative bone in their bodies.  They see the good side of life, the good in people.  And like Sally Field so famously said after she accepted her second Oscar "You like me! You really like me!"

Folks, it's nice to hang out with people who like me and who I like.  

Our life as we know it can end in an instant, witness my fall on the ice February 18th.  I could have died if I fell a few centimeters to the left and hit my head on the side of the building and laid in that alley all night in zero degree weather.  

Thus, my affirmation again to make every moment, every day, every week and every month count as long as we're on this earth.  

Nadege treated us to lunch . . . . thank you Nadege!  Next year we treat you to lunch . . . . in Santa Barbara!

It Never Rains in California?

Remember the song "It Never Rains in California"? Well, Pat and I brought good luck to Los Angeles during our visit because it rained when we visited this past January.  

You can't miss Pat and Nadege with their day-glo colors walking in a gray, rainy day in downtown Los Angeles

We had made arrangements to meet our friend Nadege in Little Tokyo in downtown Los Angeles. A gentle rain was falling. 

Follow the brightly colored couple

Both Pat and I have outwear that is rain proof. Nadege brought her umbrella.  She was not deterred by the rain at all.  In fact she was quite happy that Los Angeles was finally getting some rain. She said California has had a drought for three years now and desperately needs rain.

Pat stopped in a Japanese book store.  Pat loves Japanese interior furniture design.  Pat was in his element.  Pat likes the clean look of Sixties retro design, a la Jetsons.

Pat in a Japanese bookstore in Little Tokyo

We were meeting Nadege for lunch (photos and videos of which I will post in a subsequent blog).  Again I have to thank Nadege for being just the perfect hostess.  How wonderful to meet in person someone who has been commenting on my blog.  

Prior to lunch Nadege took us for a tour in a nearby Japanese garden. Isn't it amazing that even on a gray, dreary and rainy day how genuine friendships can brighten a day? Also, the fresh and vibrant colors of the Japanese garden added to the specialness of this day.



Just how lucky am I to spend an afternoon in downtown Los Angeles with two delightful people like Nadege and Pat?  It just doesn't get any better than this folks.

Pat and Nadege in the Japanese garden

Next year Pat and I plan to split our time between staying five days at the bed and breakfast in West Hollywood and five days at the Doubletree Hotel in Little Tokyo.  Oh yes, a trip to Los Angeles is now an annual event on our schedule.  Always good to have something to look forward to.

Friends: Nadege and Pat

Am I Missing Spring?

Getting some fresh air today on our back deck - yep, I'm still dependent on my walker

Yes I am. 

 Every year I look forward with great anticipation to the first blooming my daffodils. This year I can only look at them from afar, my back deck.

Basically housebound, I saw the bright sun out today and the wind rustling the holly bushes.  I told Bill "I'm going out on the back deck."  He said "It's cold."  Actually, at 66 degrees it wasn't but it was windy and Bill feels the cold more than I do. I just wanted to breath in some fresh air.

On a day like this, in the past, I would be taking my daily walk back in the Oyster Rock development behind where we live. Oh how I miss those daily walks, especially on a glorious spring day like today. 

I have another two months to go (eight weeks) until I'm back to normal with my walking without the aid of a walker or a cane.  Right now the damaged tissue of my left leg is still in the process of healing.

This Tuesday I have a follow-up appointment with my orthopedic doctor.  This will be one month to the day since I had surgery on my leg.

This morning I took a shower, my second since surgery. Oh how wonder a shower makes me feel. Of course I have to be very careful maneuvering myself in and out of the shower.  I have this nightmare vision of myself losing control and falling down in my shower and laying on the floor, naked and helpless while the water beats down on my.  I'm screaming for Bill, who of course can't hear me because he's hard of hearing.  When I call him now I have to call him on my iPhone.  I don't take my iPhone in the shower with me.  One of my few vulnerable moments that I worry about. As I mentioned before, my iPhone probably saved my life that awful night of February 18th when I tripped over that frozen water spout ice and severed my quadricep ligaments that caused all this damage.  If I didn't have my iPhone I would have laid there all night until someone came in the hotel the next morning.  Now wouldn't that have been a pretty sight assuming I didn't fall outside in the zero degree weather and die of hyperthermia. 

The good news here folks is that each day is getting better.  I feel a little movement in my injured leg.  My biggest and most persistent problem is the constant swollen lower leg and foot.  Sometimes it worse than other times.  Nighttime is the best time for relief.

Alright folks, tomorrow I post a more upbeat blog about my trip to California trip. Back to good times before The Accident. We need an upbeat blog posting from Ron. Tomorrow folks, I promise.

I Miss Work

Selfie taken on moments before my fall on the ice that changed my life

One question that has been resolved since my accident of February 18th, did I still want to continue working?  

Now since I haven't been back to work on that fateful day I have the answer . . . YES!

The picture at the beginning of this blog was taken only minutes before I left work.  I took a selfie in the men's room.  About five minutes later I was closing up the Inn by locking the doors.  When I rounded the corner my foot stepped on a frozen mound of ice from the rain spout and, after trying to catch my balance, I went down on my left knee severing my quadricep ligaments.  

In the Beebe Hospital Emergency room after my fall

The damage done to my leg after the fall

My leg after surgery to repair the quadricep ligaments - my home health care cleaning procedure

The physical therapist introducing me my new friend - The Walker

Never in a million years did I think I would meet a walker so soon in my life.

Physical therapist showing me how to walk on stairs

Like my little flowered frock?

These pictures were taken the day after my surgery on March 10th, before I was discharged from the hospital to be on my own at home.  Thank goodness they didn't send me to a rehab center which they would have if I didn't have Bill at home.

I'm a quick learner

I have my cane, my crutches and my walker at home.  No wheelchair, I left that at the hospital thank you.  I did bring the port-potty home but haven't had to use it.  I can traverse quite well to the bathroom (thank goodness again).

Trying to maneuver my straight leg back into the wheelchair

Well, I'm still hobbling around on my walker. My left leg below the knee has been swollen in various stages since my fall on February 18th, that's a long time.  Sometimes before I go to bed it's throbbing so much I can hardly stand it.  Red, hot, and numb.  But when I elevate my leg, like I'm doing now as I type this post at my computer, I get some relief.  My very best relief is when darkness and nothingness overcomes me at night when I drift off to sleep.  I awaken in the morning and almost all of the swelling and throbbing is gone.  However, it returns once I get up and start moving around, which I have to.  For recovery I have to balance exercise with rest.  And I have to be very patient because it takes long time for tissue to heal, longer than a broken bone, which surprised me when I asked my home health care worker and she gave me that answer.

But folks, each day I'm a little better.  Still can't life my lower leg but I'm feeling "something" going on below the knee.  I hope it's not just my wishful imagination.

Anyway, I started out this blog by stating I miss work.  I do miss work especially on a Wednesdays and Thursdays, my regular shift from 3 PM to 11 PM.  And especially springtime when the days are longer.

There were times in the past when I wondered "Do I still want to work?"  Well, that question has been answered now since my forced immobility . . . . . 
YES!

Grocery Shopping Day

Bill (with the hat and blue sweater) checking out at Food Lion supermarket this morning

Off to the local supermarket store again today folks.  Usually I go shopping at least three times a week, sometimes more.  I always drive.  I take Bill with me, he sits in the passenger seat and waits for me in the car while I shop.  But now with my healing leg, Bill gets out of the car and pushes a cart.

I had given him a list last night for shopping today.  I wanted to go, just to get out of the house (I've been housebound for about five days now), but I didn't want to put Bill through the  tiresome ordeal of getting me in the car, then out of the car (he has to lift my leg, I can't). Then follow me around the store while I shuffle along on my walker.  However, I do go faster these days but anyone using a walker goes slow as you know because I know most of you have at one time or another been behind someone like me on a walker.  And don't tell me that someone like me on a walker hasn't annoyed you.  Well, I try to alleviate the pain of regular folks who can walk by going to the store early in the morning, like we did this morning.  This works for the most part but there were a couple of shoppers who seemed annoyed with me and my walker.  I.DON'T.CARE.

These days I shop for food that has a high protein content.  I'm told by my health care workers that eating a lot of protein will enhance my healing process.  And folks, I want to heal . . . . fast.

Getting "Pom" high protein drink.  Our local supermarket is starting to reflect it's more health conscious customers. Yes!

So how am I doing?  I still don't trust myself to walk unaided without a walker.  I do not want to fall again and set myself back on my healing process.

My home health care worker visited yesterday and said it won't be necessary for them to come back again.  I signed the discharge papers.  I have to say they were wonderful. Many good things are coming out of this accident I've had with my leg.  I've discovered how wonderful home health care is.  I've also discovered how vulnerable I am (and you all are) when you lose the use of just one of your legs.  You do that folks and you're down and out.  You can't drive which means you can't get to the doctor or shop.  Luckily for me I can get around on one leg thus I don't have to use the portable toilet that the hospital checked me out with my walker last month.  That contraption is up in my attic.  Who knows, we may need it in the future.  One never knows a this fact is especially true now since what happened to me and how fast my life changed.

I look out the windows and see the daffodils blooming.  I won't be able to go out and touch them or take photos of them because my walker doesn't work so well on our grass.

Oh wouldn't I love to take a walk back in the Oyster Rocks development right behind us on a gloriously sunny day like today.  However, it is not to be.  I am housebound again after a very successful trip to the local supermarket. 

It's good to be alive folks.