Christmas Cards

I love sending Christmas cards.  


I love receiving Christmas cards.


Everybody has their own traditions for celebrating Christmas.  My tradition is Christmas cards.


I've been sending Christmas cards since I was a teenager.  Now let's see, I'm 69 years young now so that would be a LONG TIME AGO.


Most of the Christmas cards I send are to friends, relatives and former co-workers (bosses mostly) who I don't see in person anymore.  Occasionally I send Christmas cards to current neighbors.  Truth be told, I usually do that because they sent me a card.  Although I do wish them a Merry Christmas, the reason I send cards is to keep in touch with friends, relatives and former bosses who I never expect to see again.


My longest contact is with the mother of my BFF in grade school, Larry M.  His mom is 90 years old now but she sends me a card faithfully every year.  And I send her a card faithfully every year.  She was always so kind to me when her son and I hung around together in our teenage years.


Over the years I have stayed in contact with many former co-workers for years and years after I left our common place of employment.  It is always sad when that year comes and one of my cards is returned.  For then I know that my friend is no longer with us.  One lady who I worked with when I was in my 30's still sends me a card.  I'm amazed every year when I get yet another card from her.  When we worked together I thought she was old then because she was retired and only working part-time.  And yet every year I receive a card from her.  I haven't received on this year.....yet.  


I like all kinds of Christmas cards, especially sparkly Christmas cards.  It must be my gay gene but a little sparkle always brings a smile to my face.


Perhaps my favorite Christmas cards of all time are those of Santa Claus riding his sleigh in the cold December night sky.  For some reason that has always brought the meaning of the Christmas of my childhood back to me.  


So far this year I've received a lot of Christmas cards.  However, there is one card I will not receive this year.   It saddens my heart just to think of it.  Deep down I'm wishing that I would get this card but I know I won't.  


This year will be the first time in my life I won't receive a card from my Mother.

Mom and me at my Philadelphia home 1979 with that year's Christmas card bonanza 

Like everything else she touched, Mom's cards were always the best.  

I miss you Mom.

The Power of the Blog

Bill (on the right in the bib overalls) and mother and sisters and step brother 1932

Want to know why I blog?  I've asked and answered this question before and have given several different answers the main one being that I just like to write.  But another reason is that I'm reaching out.  Perhaps I didn't consciously realize that I was reaching out but that has been the result of several of my blog postings this year.


One of my blog postings this year was recounting my first sexual experience.  In that blog posting I posted the Social Security Death Index name of the man with whom I first shared an intimate relationship with in 1963.  From that name being posted on my blog his son, who has the same name, found my blog posting through an Internet search engine.  He contacted me.  He told me that he and his family had known of rumors that his father was gay but never had any real proof until he read my blog. 


He told me that his mother had written a book about that period of his father's life.  I was able to purchase the book from Amazon.com and had the surreal experience of reading about my paramour's life from the "other side."  While I was never mentioned directly in his mother's book (they didn't know my name), she does mention her husband disappearing at times for places unknown.  Those places "unknown" sometimes were my apartment.  


Thus I was able to fill in a chapter of my life that, if not for blogging and the Internet, I would never have known about before.


Now this week comes about another situation.  This past summer I wrote about the trip my partner Bill and I took down to his hometown of Toccoa, Georgia this past summer.  One of the items of information in that blog I wrote the name of Bill's step-father, whose grave site we visited.  From the mention of that name, Bill's nephew contacted me through my blog.  This was a very unique situation because Bill has been estranged from his family for 48 years.  The falling out came after Bill's Mother's funeral.  


In all the years since her funeral, Bill cut off contact with his family. Because we have moved several times over the years since Bill cut off contact, they didn't know where Bill lived.  Bill's nephew was only four years old at the time of the funeral.  He didn't know why contact was cut off.  All he knew was that "Uncle Buddy" (as Bill is known to his family), disappeared.  He and his family assumed that Bill had died.  Thus it came with some surprise that Bill's nephew was able to find Bill through an Internet search of his grandfather's (Bill's step-father) name.


Even though his nephew contacted me this past summer, I was reluctant to let Bill know.  I have always wanted Bill to reunite with his family but he was always adamantly against it.  I didn't want to upset him by telling him that someone from his family had contacted me through a blog posting I had made.  His nephew and I have been in contact all this time.  I told the nephew that I would tell Bill when I felt it was right.  


This past week I took the big step.  His nephew had sent me some pictures of their family, including one of Bill when Bill was only five years old.  Bill has never seen this picture.  


The opportunity came this Sunday when Bill and I were joking about how ugly we have become since we got old (something we do all the time to avoid facing the reality that we really are ugly old men now.)  I told Bill "I found a picture of you as a 5 year old brat on the Internet."  Of course Bill thought I was joking.  I told him to come to my computer and I would show him the picture.  I showed it to him and he still didn't believe me.  The picture (which is the one pictured at the top of this blog posting) is of Bill, his two sisters, his Mother and Bill's step-brother, the uncle of the nephew who contacted Bill.  


Bill still didn't believe me even though was looking at the picture.  Then I showed him some other pictures that his nephew had sent of his family and his mother.  Bill looked at the pictures and, with jaw agape, asked "how did you get these pictures?"  I told him but he was still unbelieving.  


Actually, I am in awe of the power of the Internet and what a simple blog posting has done to change the course of someone's life.  This is just incredible what has happened with Bill and his family.  For years I have wanted him to be reunited with his family.  


Bill is now in e-mail contact with his nephew.  He says he wants to meet him and yet doesn't because meeting him will stir up all the old memories he has tried to bury these past 48 years.  


Bill and I were planning on returning to his hometown of Toccoa this spring.  I am confident that Bill will meet his nephew and, hopefully, his one remaining surviving sister.  This is something I've been hoping for ever since I've known Bill.  We all have differences with our families but we only have one family.  Life is just too short to carry grudges to our graves. 


The next time when someone asks me why I blog I'll tell them my stories and how blogging has changed my life and others for the better.  


That is why I blog.

The Weekly Schadenfreude Moment

Today I begin a new feature of my blog.  This is a weekly feature which I will post every Sunday.


I've seen weekly features on other blogs.  I think it is an interesting device.  It is not only interesting for the reader but also for the blogger.  Thus I begin my new feature:

THE WEEKLY SCHADENFREUDE MOMENT

"Schadenfreude" is a German word which basically translates as:

"DELIGHT IN ANOTHER PERSON'S MISFORTUNE"

Now before some of you Goody Two Shoes souls out their in the blogosphere get your sanctimonious hackles raised up around your 99.44 % pure ears (pardon the use of the word "sanctimonious" but I couldn't help myself when I heard our president use that word in a sarcastic manner to refer to those progressive Democrats in the House of Representatives that dared to express less than enthusiastic support of his latest cave in to the Republicans - extending tax cuts to the very rich), let's all be honest with ourselves.  Who doesn't at some time enjoy the misfortune of someone else at sometime in their life?  I certainly do and I offer no apologies for doing so.

Of course I don't mean those of you who are serving the poor on soup lines (and you know who you are) would ever "delight" in the plight of those poor souls you're serving soup.  I certainly don't feel good about that type of misfortune.  And it goes without saying that I never would get any pleasure from anyone suffering a grave illness or death, no matter how bad the person.  Well, maybe I would get some pleasure out of the execution of a child killer but I'm not going there in this blog.  

No, what I'm talking about is like an incident that happened this week in London, England when Prince Charles and his Lady Fair, the Duchess of Cornwall (aka Camilla Parker-Bowles) were on their way to the THEATRE in their purple Rolls-Royce (oh yes, can you believe it?) and they got caught up in the student mobs protesting the triple rise in tuition.  OMIGOD!  Talk a look at the JAWS AGAPE on these two twits.  

PRICELESS!

Thus is born a new weekly feature on this blog.

Santa's Lap

Melanie Tipton Jefferis, Santa Claus, and Ed Jefferis

In my 69 years on this earth I've accomplished most of my goals.  I still have a few items left on my bucket list.  I've never visited any foreign country unless you count Canada. I would love to visit England, Australia, New Zealand and all the European countries.  I would like to vice the South Pacific. I'm not really all hopped up about visit Africa or China, Korea or Japan (or any country where they eat dogs.)  




But there is one thing I haven't done and I will do if I screw up enough courage to do and that is to 

SIT ON SANTA CLAUS'S LAP!

So I go onto my Facebook account and see a picture of my cousin Melanie and her husband Ed sitting on Santa's lap!  I am SOOOOOOOO JEALOUS!  Hey!  I'm not that much older than Melanie and Ed.  Maybe there is hope for the Little Boy in me yet.

I wonder if the Santa at the Laurel Flea Market would get too grossed out if I went down tomorrow and sat on his lap.  

What do you think?

Keep Writing a Blog?

A friend asked me this morning if I thought it was a good idea if he should keep writing his blog in 2011?  My answer to him was that it was his decision.  It is up to him how he feels about writing a blog.  


There are millions of blog writers in cyber space.  I am but just one of them.  My blog has about as much significance as a grain of sand in the Sahara desert.  I know that.  I'm alright with that.  


Bloggers have many different reasons for writing blogs.  Some fancy themselves writers and think if they write a blog that their talent will be discovered and they will enjoy riches and fame the rest of their lives.  


Some others think that if they write a blog with ads that they will become rich from the ad money that will come pouring in.  


For any of the above reasons to come to pass is about as likely as being hit with lightening twice, and winning both the Powerball and Megamillions lotteries in the same month.  

IT AIN'T GOING TO HAPPEN!

Hey, I fancy myself a writer.  I would like to become rich and famous.  I would like to get a lot of money for just writing about my little, insignificant life here on the eastern shore of southern Delmarva peninsula. But I knew from the moment I typed my first letter in my blog, that was not going to happen.  

At best I hoped that someone like me would read my blog and find some of my blog postings throughout provoking and of some interest and/or  amusement.   While I haven't heard from another "Ron" out there in cyberspace (I may be the only one), I have heard from some really nice and interesting people.  I consider these folks my friends and I appreciate their comments.  

I will continue to write a blog as long as I'm able just as I will continue to write in my daily journal (by longhand).  

I write because it fulfills a need within me to express myself.  I feel as if I keep all these thoughts imprisoned in my head I will go crazy.  It is sort of like being put in solitary confinement.  I don't want to be like this guy I know named Bart.  He has the talking disease.  He can't shut up.  Talk, talk, talk, constantly repeating stories.  I think there is a name for his disease but I can't remember it now.  I fear that I probably have that same disease but I don't want to subject my friends, relatives and co-workers and even strangers to my yammering.  I have enough discipline to refrain from that bad habit.  Thus, I write my blog.

Oh yes, I will keep writing my blog. Even though I am but a grain of sand on the beach (if that), this little grain of sand wants to be noticed.

By the way, what does the picture on this blog have to do with the subject of the blog?  Absolutely nothing.  I thought it was a cute picture with a message.  Sometimes that's the way I feel, like "Ted" the cat.   

Cape May-Lewes Ferry

Me on the Cape May-Lewes Ferry before departure to Cape May

Yesterday I finally boarded the Cape May-Lewes Ferrt and made the trip to Cape May.  


Ever since I moved to Delaware four years ago (November 2006), I wanted to take the 70 minute trip from Lewes, Delaware to Cape May, New Jersey.  The only problem is that I didn't want to do it by myself.  I would prefer to make my initial trip with friends.  Yesterday that happened when my friends Jack and Judy asked me if I would like to accompany them on a day trip to Cape May.  I immediately accepted.


Thus on a cold and windy day, I made my virgin voyage to Cape May.  The trip was a success!


I was mightily impressed with the futuristic building that is the Cape May-Lewes Terminal in Lewes.  The trip over was very pleasant.  I didn't get seasick.  In fact, I've never gotten seasick. I like the gentle rocking of the boat.  I am definitely a water person.


Jack and Judy took me on a tour of Cape May, which is just as beautiful as everyone has told me over the years.  My friend and former boss Bill P., who has a summer place in Cape May has often told me I would love Cape May.  He was right!  I love the gingerbread, Victorian style houses  I especially like the grand hotel called Congress Hall.  Wow.  


Come this summer I will be making many more trips on the Cape May-Lewes Ferry.  I'm looking forward to it.  

Obama Caves

I don't know where to start with my response to Obama's cave in last night to extending the Bush tax cuts for the rich.


Even though I knew he would give in to the Republican demands for tax cuts, I felt sick to my stomach when he made the announcement last night.  My feeling was one of betrayal.  


Remember what he ran on?  NO TAX CUTS FOR THOSE WHO MAKE OVER $250,000.


Another campaign promise broken.


Here is a partial list of campaign promises that Obama has not kept:

• End of tax cuts for families making over $250,000 a year - Obama said he will support an extension of the tax cuts for the wealthiest Americans for two years
• No taxes for seniors who make less than $50,000 a year - since Obama was elected president there has been no mention of this campaign promise
• Withdrawal from Iraq - we're still there
• End of DADT - Obama's Justice Department appeals court rulings that attempt to stop expulsion of gay service members until if and when Congress repeals the DADT law 
• Withdrawal from Guantanamo Bay - we're still there
• End of wireless wiretapping of American citizens - we're still doing it
• End of torture - we're still doing torturing

Obama and his administration touts their "accomplishment" the health care bill.  This is the same health care bill in which they didn't even fight for the public option which would keep costs down by competition.  Obama promised in his campaign that all negations would be conducted in public over C-SPAN.  Didn't happen.  Negotiations with the drug and insurance companies were done behind closed doors.  A deal was worked out where the insurance companies would get 43 million new customers with the mandatory provision of the health care bill but without the public option.  Again, Obama supported a bill that made it look like something was "being done" but in effect it is a lousy bill because the insurance companies will only raise their rates to cover the provisions of the bill that requires insurance companies not to cap their maximum payout and turn down people because or prior medical conditions.  

It is obvious now that Obama the president is not the same Obama the candidate. 

"Change that you can believe in?"  

No, Obama has proven by his performance the past two years that he takes the course of least resistance. 

Bill Clinton was right, Obama gives a good speech. 

Mark this date on your calendar.  Obama will be a one term president.  After last night's action, in which he didn't even fight for his campaign promise not to give tax cuts for those who make over $250,000, he has lost his base.  

The terrorists Republicans have won.