Michael Phelps - Hero?

Okay folks, don't say I didn't warn you.  I'm going to bitch about the Olympics in this blog posting.  If you are among the millions who slavishly follow the  "U.S.A.! U.S.A!" chants for the athletes on the jingoistic, orgasmic,  delayed and one side slanted programming for U.S.A. athletes only on NBC (and its sister cable station MSNBC), you all better stop reading this blog posting now because you're going to get pissed off.  "How dare he criticize our 'heroes'!" 

If you're among those touchy folks who brook no criticism of anything "U.S.A.!", then venture no further in reading this blog. I don't kiss ass. 

I wasn't going to say anything more about the Olympics.  I was going to wait it out, with only two more days to go before this obscenely expensive and colossal waste of time ends on Saturday night but I just can't hold myself back, especially after seeing that sucker fish mouthed doofus Michael Phelps "interview" on Piers Morgan a few nights ago.  Now come one folks, isn't that fish-man child just about the most arrogant, ignorant and self asorbed ass-hat you've ever seen interviewed on TV?  There he is with his 6'3" inch enlongated torso with short legs (why he swims so well, he was born with a fish body) drapped out on his interview chair with Piers.  Michael has his legs folded so one foot is in the air constantly wiggling, distracting from the "umms," and "ahs" that punctuate every second or third word, doing the "slow blink" (a sure sign of someone who is totally into himself)  as he laconically answers Piers "probing" questions like "How does it feel to win all those medals?"  Good questions Piers! That's why they pay you the big bucks!

So what does Michael fish-face man-child answer?  "Um, um.....ummmm...it feels....you know....um....good" (giggle, giggle).  By the way, Michael, he of the deep booming basso voice now (whatever happen to his voice from the "young man" voice of four years ago?  Too many bong hits perhaps?) giggles like a teenage girl after almost every answer.  In fact I think he giggled after every answer, while still twitching that size 15 foot that he had propped up on his knee during the WHOLE INTERVIEW.  Hey Michael!  How about sitting up in the chair and put both feet on the floor?  Just a suggestion.  By the way, what is THAT THING on his bottom lip?  A piercing or just a little touch of herpes?  

Enough about Phelps. He and his kind annoy me so much. Big hero. What does he do for a living? Swim for bucks? How about a REAL JOB Michael? So you were born with a fish body and provided a pool to swim in for years. Then you get all those medals in the China Olympics which resulted in millions of dollars in endorsement deals which you promptly blew (both literally and figuratively) in a bong. Wheaties had your puss on all their cereal boxes which they then had to destroy because you were no longer a "role model" (do you think?) Selfish, self asorbed ass-hats like Phelps annoy me to no end. Oh I know, I know. "But he's worked SO HARD to get where he is."  HE SWIMS ALL DAY!  Two more days and hopefully all this slavish worship of the "hero" Michael goes away.

Can't happen soon enough.

So tell us what you REALLY think Ron.

So You're Driving Along and...

So you're driving along and you see a sign that says "Closed construction zone."  You know what that means?  That means

YOU DON'T DRIVE THROUGH IT BECAUSE IT IS DANGEROUS!

That is except if you're once of those self-appointed individuals who don't think the rules apply to you or you are just plain STUPID, this is what happens.  Some people just need a wake up call.  This will do it.

The Weekly Schadenfreude Moment

Today I begin a new feature of my blog.  This is a weekly feature which I will post every Sunday.


I've seen weekly features on other blogs.  I think it is an interesting device.  It is not only interesting for the reader but also for the blogger.  Thus I begin my new feature:

THE WEEKLY SCHADENFREUDE MOMENT

"Schadenfreude" is a German word which basically translates as:

"DELIGHT IN ANOTHER PERSON'S MISFORTUNE"

Now before some of you Goody Two Shoes souls out their in the blogosphere get your sanctimonious hackles raised up around your 99.44 % pure ears (pardon the use of the word "sanctimonious" but I couldn't help myself when I heard our president use that word in a sarcastic manner to refer to those progressive Democrats in the House of Representatives that dared to express less than enthusiastic support of his latest cave in to the Republicans - extending tax cuts to the very rich), let's all be honest with ourselves.  Who doesn't at some time enjoy the misfortune of someone else at sometime in their life?  I certainly do and I offer no apologies for doing so.

Of course I don't mean those of you who are serving the poor on soup lines (and you know who you are) would ever "delight" in the plight of those poor souls you're serving soup.  I certainly don't feel good about that type of misfortune.  And it goes without saying that I never would get any pleasure from anyone suffering a grave illness or death, no matter how bad the person.  Well, maybe I would get some pleasure out of the execution of a child killer but I'm not going there in this blog.  

No, what I'm talking about is like an incident that happened this week in London, England when Prince Charles and his Lady Fair, the Duchess of Cornwall (aka Camilla Parker-Bowles) were on their way to the THEATRE in their purple Rolls-Royce (oh yes, can you believe it?) and they got caught up in the student mobs protesting the triple rise in tuition.  OMIGOD!  Talk a look at the JAWS AGAPE on these two twits.  

PRICELESS!

Thus is born a new weekly feature on this blog.