Bill's Medical Update

 

One of Bill's hospice nurses taking his blood pressure, which is normal now thank goodness!

After fourteen months on home hospice care, yesterday Bill's hospice nurse and I determined to discharge him from home hospice care.

The reason was that Bill's conditioned has "stabilized." That means he's not getting worse.

Bill still needs my assistance in dressing, showering, preparing his meals and administering his medications. Because of his blindness (macular degeneration) and cognitive damage because of his strokes he will always need someone to assist him in his daily routine. 

I was worried about getting him off of home hospice care because if he had another stroke, both of us didn't want him to go through what he went through last year trying to save his life. Save his life they did for which both of us are very thankful but no more. The main reason being because of Bill's blindness. He can't do what he used to do. So often Bill gets depressed because he can't read or do his projects which he used to love so much doing. Now he feels he has no purpose in life. I try to get him focused on the many positive things we still have in our life. Most days I'm successful. 

However, I need not to worry. Bill's hospice nurse told me yesterday that if Bill starts to fail he can go back on home hospice care. She said that is a lifetime benefit of Medicare. Wow, what a relief that is for both of us. If Bill had another stroke that doesn't cause his death, neither one of us wants extraordinary measures to keep him alive. May sound harsh, but that is our decision. We've both had long, good lives. Oh sure, a few bumps here and there but overall we have been extremely blessed with a good life. When our time comes, we will be ready.

John Called,

Mom and me - Compass, PA 1950 - John and Isaac playing with the typewriter - guess who was Mom's favorite?

When I got home from my morning walk on the boardwalk this morning, Bill told me that my brother John had called.  These days whenever I see that John has called, I fear for the worst.

John is taking care of Mom at his home in Greenville, South Carolina.  We moved her there from her home in Pennsylvania where she was living with other brother Isaac last October 17th, 2009.

Brother John and his wife and daughters at their home in Windsor PA 1974 - I took Mom to visit them

Two weeks ago Mom's body began shutting down.  Her potassium level was so low, the doctor was surprised that she was still alive.

We were given the option of sending Mom to the hospital to be hooked up to IV's and other life extending measures or to make her as comfortable as possible at her home with John and his wife and daughter.  Mom always made it clear to us that she did not want to be kept artificially alive in a hospital bed.

We decided for hospice care at home.  That hospice care began last Monday, for three days a week (Mondays, Wednesdays and Friday.)

The first day of hospice care Mom told the hospice care worker not to come back.  Not a good sign.

Caring for Mom at home is becoming very difficult.  My brother John doesn't get more than two hours of sleep at night.  He has to get up to take her to the bathroom or whatever other needs she has.

John didn't leave a message this morning. I called him back.  He told me that Mom had a "real bad night last night."  Without going into the details, I will only say that she isn't herself these days.  This is not her personality.  John thinks she has bi-polar.  Somedays she can be her old sweet self and other days (more frequently now) she has a totally different personality.  She is abusive, paranoid and unreasonable.  This is not our Mom.  No way, no how.

We always promised Mom that we would never put her in a nursing home.  I remember well what my cousin Jack told me about his Mom, my Mom's older sister.  Jack had made the same promise to his Mom but at the end he had no choice.  I'm afraid that is where we are with Mom now.

John has found a very nice hospice care center near his home.  In fact, John said it was so nice he would like to live there.  I can understand his feelings at this time of his life.  His wife has medical issues, he has a full-time job as a care pastor and, in addition to all of these responsibilities he is taking care of Mom.  John isn't getting any sleep at night.  Something has to change.  This cannot continue.

I will call him now and tell him that it is alright to put Mom in a place where she can get the care she needs and deserves.  I'm sure Isaac will concur with my decision.

My cousin Jack told me it would come to this.  That Jack, he has always been one step ahead of me.

Someday I'll write a blog posting about my few years old cousin Jack, who like me, brought himself up from the bootstraps and had a successful banking career.  We did pretty good for two dirt poor kids of of the Fifties from Downingtown, Pennsylvania.  Jack's advice has always been right on.  I hate to admit it, but he was right again.

My last visit with Mom (and brother John) June 2010 - we're in the beautiful park in downtown Greenville, SC - John forgot Mom's hat.  I loaned her mine.  That's a bathrobe I bought for her. She wears it all the time, even when she goes to the park.