Longtime Gay Friends

 

Me and Don at "More Than Just Ice Cream" restaurant in center city Philly October 20, 2015

Next month when Pat comes down for his quarterly visit to Casa Tipton-Kelly, we're taking a few (two) days to visit Philly and my longtime friend Don McK.

I've known Don for at least sixty-two years. We met through our mutual friend Ron Hampton, who was my best friend during my Army days.

Don and I worked at two Philadelphia banks during our long friendship. We were both job eliminated during the Great Banking Merger era in the Eighties. I got a new job at another Philly bank and hired Don. After I left that bank Don continued working there. I had a few more banks to work for before I changed careers and went to work for hotels.

Me and Don some years earlier at our friend Bob McCamley's single wide in the woods outside Georgetown, Delaware sometime in the Eighties

Over the years we have maintained our friendship. Don has been a steady and true friend. With the exception of Pat and my new friend Glenn M., Don is the only gay friend I have left.

I haven't seen Don in person since 2019, just when COVID hit. We've kept in touch via FaceTime though. These days we mostly talk about our failing health and have some laughs about how we're falling apart. Gone are the Glory Days of our misspent you. We also laugh about those adventures too.

Don is 89 years old now. I'm 84. We're on our way OUT and we know it. Question is, who goes first? 

When Pat comes down next month for his quarterly visit to me here at Casa Tipton-Kelly we're going to take a few days to visit Don in at his home in center city Philly. Don lives in a building of mostly old folks, a nice alternative to assisted living facilities. He still has his freedom although he says "everybody passes me by when I walk the streets." Me too Don.

Don and me on the rooftop garden of the building he lives in at 21st and Chestnut Streets, Philadelphia October 20, 2015

Next month's visit will probably be the last time I see Don in person. He has been a good and faithful friend of mine for so many years. It will be interesting to see if he meet up again in the Afterlife. I know I will be with Bill again.

Palm Springs Bloogerpalooza!

Blogger Buddies in Palm Springs at Mt. Jacinto last year - we get together again this year with a few more friends

Next month a few of my best blogger friends will gather in Palm Springs, California for a Bloogerpalooza.  What fun!

Tram riders to Mt. Jacinto

Our last Bloogerpalooza was held right here in Delaware three years ago. Again, I continue to be amazed at how fast time goes by.  

This Bloggerpalooza wasn't planed as a Bloogerpalooza but that's what I'm calling it.  Why? Because we're all blogger friends.

This is who will be there:

Me and Pat (of course)
Spo and Someone
Larry and Tim
Doug and Leon
And last but not least, Fearsome Beard

Fearsome Beard

All are invited.  We (me and Pat) will be in Palm Springs February 14th through February 22nd, 2018 (next month).  

Spo and Someone have slightly different dates as do the other guys but we will all over lap. Last year Pat and I just happened to be in Palm Springs at the same time as Spo and Someone. We had the great honor of attending Spo and Someone's wedding. 

Spo and Someone's Wedding in Palm Springs 2017

This year there is no wedding, that I know of. But we will all gather for good fellowship and a fabulous time as only blogger friends and older gay guys can.  

Pat at a vegan cafe in Palm Springs last year - we'll be back this year!

New Friends

Mike and Bob, new friends

Regular readers of this blog will know that I have often mentioned my disappointment in making friends in the large gay community here in Rehoboth Beach area of southern Delaware.

One of the reasons I moved to Delaware for my retirement in addition to escaping the high taxes of my former home state of Pennsylvania was the large gay community.  When Bill and I lived in Pennsylvania, we were often ostracized by some neighbors just because we were gay. I have blogged about those experiences in previous postings and won't rehash those terrible times where we were discriminated against just because we were two gay men living together in a suburban home some thought belonged only to straight couples. That was a sad and depressing time of our lives which I do not wish to revisit.

Bill and I have been living here since 2006. In that time we have made five (Wayne, Bob, David, Ted and  gay friends, one of which has already died. Ironically, our best friends are out neighbors Bob and Barb, who are straight and conservative Republicans. We have also made other straight friends. We didn't seek them, it just turned out that way. 

For a few years I used to attend a weekly dine out with fifteen to twenty gay members of the local community. I gave up on that social function several years ago. 

I even joined the local organization (Camp Rehoboth) thinking I would make gay friends.  Didn't happen.  That organization's focus is on raising money and not welcoming other gays to their community unless they're in their clique (mostly Washington D.C. gays).  That's another whole story that I'm not going into at this time other to say that I have made several good faith efforts to be a nice guy and offer my friendship only to be rebuffed and ignored. Hey, I don't beg for friendships. The only interaction I had with them was when that came to be to give them money for their organization. If that's the only time they feel fit to talk to me, then I don't need them.  I left.

Then this weekend I had a pleasant surprise . I placed a request in our local NextDoor app for someone to help a "76 year old man who has average knowledge of Apple computers and who makes house call is patient."  I've engaged with computer guys before but the ones I have dealt with are smart asses, charge a lot and don't tell me anything lest I learn something and don't need them in the future. 

I had several responses to my request.  The first gentleman I talked to sounded pleasant. Because he sounded young I was suspicious he was one of those wise guys I dealt with before. I asked him how old he was.  He said he was 67 years old. Good sign. Maybe he wouldn't take advantage of my ignorance of computers and actually help me, which I am willing to pay for, and also at the same time help me learn.  Coincidentally while he was talking to my two airport utility backup towers. They were flashing amber and I didn't know why. He told me bring up utilities on my computer where I saw updates.  He advised me that the blinking amber lights was only an update which I did. The blinking amber lights went off.  Wow!  Someone helped me and didn't take advantage of me.  I offered to pay him but he refused. Wow! What a pleasant surprise, someone who isn't taking advantage of my ignorance of computers and being nice to me.

Well, this blog is going on long so let me wrap this up.  The next day this gentleman came over. His name is Mike. He and his partner have been together forty-one years. I visited Mike and his partner the next day. I visited Mike and his spouse Bob the next day. They live nearby. I found them to be a very pleasant couple. I have new friends. 

You will hear more about them in future posts. 

Pat

Pat

The more observant of my faithful blog followers may have noticed the entry of a new friend in my life.  He is pictured in the banner of this blog.  No, it is not "The Cajun" who is pictured below with me giving him the "horns". The Cajun of course is my dear longtime friend that I made a few years before I moved to Delaware in 2007.  And he is a real friend because he as seen all sides of me, both the bad and good (and believe me I have plenty of the bad).  He has proven himself a true friend because even because he has seen the bad side of Ron, he remains a true and devoted (if I can be so bold as to say so) friend.  

The Cajun and (bad) me

Me and "The Cajun" having a disagreement - move on, nothing to see here

Yes folks, my new BF is "Pat".  

Pat is Canadian.  He presently lives in Toronto.  Last week he retired from his job and is now planning on moving to the United States.  Guess where?  Delaware!  Bill and have helped him to find a building lot in nearby Milton. 

Pat was down a few weeks ago.  The three of us (The Cajun, Pat and yours truly) went on the Kalmar Nyckel. Pat is returning for a few weeks early in November to check out his new property.  In addition I'm going to do something that I've wanted to do ever since my 70th birthday, to take a road trip through my old haunts in Pennsylvania including Philadelphia where I worked and lived many years.  Bill doesn't like to drive in those heavily congested areas but Pat said he wouldn't mind.  We're planning on meeting Dr. Spo and Anne Marie of Philly in King of Prussia on November 7th and then we'll drive to Philly to meet my longtime friend Don.

And oh yes, Don has also seen the bad side of Ron and remained a friend.  

You know there are just some people who bring out the best in you no matter how bad you feel or act sometimes.  Add Pat to that list. I've been very lucky in my life that I have more than my share of such friends who like me JUST THE WAY I AM.  So important folks, so important.  And now you all can add my friend Pat From Tornonto to that list of FOR, or "Friends of Ron."  Hmmmm.....does that sound too self-serving?  Oh well, if you really are my friend you would understand.  That's me. 

Pat (my new BF) and me in my driveway.  

Pat and me at Old Time Photo in Rehoboth Beach, DE

Now if I can just talk my friend Don into getting an old time photo with me.  

Spotacular

The "Spotacular", "Spo-ma-geddon", "Spo-a-thon" or "Spo-rama-lama-ding dong"; however you identify meeting Dr. Spo in Lewes, Delaware is fast approaching.

Scott and Matt

For those of you not familiar with this grand event, Dr. Spo of "Spo-reflections" blog fame has generously agreed to meet his East Coast blog friends in Lewes, Delaware on the weekend of March 22nd and 23rd.  Dr. Spo and his wife, husband, lover, better half partner, "Someone", will be staying at the hotel where I work in Lewes.  

The Inn at Canal Square Hotel, Lewes, DE

We have a fabulous weekend planned for Dr. Spo and Someone in our fantastically liberal state of Delaware.  Dr. Spo is coming from the state (Arizona) where the governor greets our president on the airport tarmac waving her finger at him and has a sheriff who dresses his prisoners in pink.  Yes friends, Dr. Spo and Someone come from that never never land where if you have brown skin it's "show me your papers" time.  We all have to show Dr. Spo and Someone what it like to live in a blue state.  No one will ask to see your papers here Dr. Spo.

No pink boxers for Delaware immigrants - we give them jobs

As of now ten Spo fans have reserved five rooms at the hotel, including the fabulous Captain's Quarters luxury suite right on the Lewes-Rehoboth Canal.  The Captain's Quarters will be the gathering location for the Spo fans staying at the hotel and local visiting Spo fans.  

Me at the elevator at the Inn attending to a guest need

On Saturday, March 23rd, there will be a catered Meet and Greet cocktail party  from 6 pm to 8 pm at the Waterview Room on the canal.  The Waterview Room is on the ground level from the Captain's Quarters.  The fabulous Nage Restaurant of Rehoboth Beach is catering.  Cost is $25.00 per person (payable to me on that day).    

Breakfast at the Inn

There will also be an open bar.  No cost.  Dr. Spo and I are also covering the cost of renting the Waterview Room.  

So far we have about a dozen bloggers staying at the hotel (some with their spouses). About another half dozen live in the area and will be attending the meet and greet but not at the hotel.  

For more information on who is attending the East Coast Bloggers Convention (as Dr. Spo would prefer to call our gathering, he feels all this attention on him is akin to "meet the Queen Mother"...hey, I didn't say it, Dr. Spo did), check with Cubby of Patently Queer. 

Lobby at the Inn

I promise we will all have a gay old time at the Spotacular Weekend in Lewes, Delaware.  Everyone will go home with a liberal sprinkling of fairy dust, guaranteed!

Dr. Spo (himself) 

Thanksgiving 2012

Me (with the hoagie), my Mom and my brother Isaac - 1954

This Thanksgiving is almost over but for the shopping.  Looking out from the back of my house I can see the stream of headlights of shoppers headed down Route 1 to the Rehoboth Outlet Malls and WalMart, which are open tonight.  Are you kidding?  I wish I was but I'm not.  You won't see me there.

Bill and I spent a quiet Thanksgiving here at home.  That's the way we usually pass the holiday.  A long time ago I used to get caught up in the tradition of making a big Thanksgiving dinner but since Bill and I don't eat that much, most of the food goes to waste.  It's not that I don't enjoy Thanksgiving, I do.  But I just can't get up the enthusiasm and energy to go through all of THAT for Thanksgiving.

Places set  for Thanksgiving Guests - 2006

For many years my longtime friend Bob had all us single (and married) gay men over to his house for a traditional Thanksgiving Dinner.  That was very nice of him and his partner Jim.  Very popular too.  Usually there were at least a couple dozen attendees at the Gay Single Man's Annual Thanksgiving Dinner.

Two-turkey Thanksgiving Dinner - 2006

The last time I went was 2006 when these pictures were taken.  Since then I've either had to work at the hotel (I didn't this year) or was a guest at my friend Bill B's house in Pennsylvania.  

That's me on the bottom with the baboon expression on my face (what was I thinking?)

I don't remember the last time I cooked a Thanksgiving meal just for me and Bill at home.  probably back when we lived in Pennsauken, New Jersey and that was in the early Sixties. For many years we ate at my Mother's.

Ham and conversation among old friends was also served at the Children's Table

And I think that is the answer why I really don't "do" Thanksgiving anymore, reminds me too much of my Mother. Mom died in 2010.  She had stopped making Thanksgiving dinners about four years before she died, when her mental capacities declined.  My friends Jim and Bob no longer do Thanksgiving dinners.  Without going into a lot of detail and protecting their privacy, they also have mental issues.  They can't handle it.  They can hardly handle their own lives which is a drama I am dealing with now.  

Hang on the good times guys, never know when it's going away - 2006

So folks, feeling just a little melancholy today. Not too bad but just a tinge of sadness.  

Not to veer too far off the subject.  Remember my "leg issue" of yesterday?  I hardly got any sleep last night, the pain was that excruciating.  Not as bad as passing a kidney stone but still the kind of pain that just wouldn't go away.  There was no position I could get in to alleviate the pain.  God, it was awful.  I finally fell asleep a few time but woke up early twisted and bent in pain.

I hobbled out to Bill (who always gets up at 4 am) with my cane.  He urged me to take a stronger pain killer.  Reluctantly I took one of his Excedrin Migrane pills, the ones they had off the market for a while because they wreck havoc with your stomach and invalidate your liver if you get hooked on them.  Well guess what folks?  It worked.  I've been pain free all day.  Stiff but pain-free.  Sort of like a Mitt Romney.  

Those pain pills only last twelve hours so I'll take one before I drift off to dreamland tonight.  I'm not going into work tomorrow or Saturday night, I have to take it easy on my leg, give it time to heal.  I think I'll be able to go into work on Sunday night though, albeit with my new "buddy", The Cane.  HERE COMES THE OLD MAN. 

I'm starting to ramble here folks so bear with me. As I said before, today was a beautiful, fall, crisp day here in southern Delaware.  A perfect day to get a head start on those Christmas decorations.  I didn't feel that either today folks.  I doubt if I will.  Christmas wasn't a big deal in our home so I don't get as sad about missing my Mother during that holiday as I do Thanksgiving.  I think why Thanksgiving always holds a special place in my heart was that was the first time I introduced My Bill to my parents after a year of two of estrangement with them after I came out.  Of course they loved Bill once they met him.  There were even times I suspected they liked Bill more than me. 

In closing (finally), I hope everyone who reads this blog had a wonderful Thanksgiving with their friends, family and loved ones including their faithful "kids", the critters (dogs and cats).  

Mom with her "friend" Rusty - a feral cat who got lucky

Loneliness - Friends

My four pet chickens - good friends

Who among us isn't lonely at one time or another?  One doesn't have to be alone to be lonely.  You could have a Mother Goose house full of kids and an adoring spouse and still be lonely.  You could be the Belle of the Gay Ball in Rehoboth Beach and be lonely.  And yet, you could live alone and not be lonely.

I've also considered myself a loner.  I like to be alone.  Yet, I often feel lonely.  Sounds crazy doesn't it?  Hey, I've been trying to figure myself out for the last seventy years.

I am the oldest son in a family of five.  I have two younger brothers.  Growing up they were best friends, I kept myself aloof from them.  Probably because I knew I was "different".  By "different" I knew I was gay by the time I was four years old.  Of course I didn't know what "gay" was or even the word but back then I certainly did know I was "different."

Me and my two brothers - 1947 - check the distance I have from my brothers - body language

I grew up (from four years old to eleven years old) in a second floor apartment building in the small Pennsylvania town of Downingtown during the Eisenhower years of the Fifties.  Several of my aunts and uncles and my cousins also lived in the same apartment building.  Even though we were poor (didn't wear shoes in the summertime) I never lacked for things to do or friends.  I am the type of person who has one or two Best Friends.  I'm not really a social butterfly with tons of friends.  I specialize.

Growing up I didn't consider myself lonely.  There was my friend Chubby (who wasn't fat by the way), Eddie Rose, Lee Harris and perhaps my best friend ever (even to this day) my comic book trading buddy Larry.

When I entered high school Larry continued to be my BF until his family moved away when we were in ninth grade.  Then came my new BF, Bill B.  We were both in band.  Bill played the bass drum and I played the Sousaphone (not the tuba as most misidentify the Sousaphone).  Bill always saved a seat for me on the band bus and I him whenever our football team had an away game.  Even though we took different courses in high school (he academic and me commercial) we continued to be BF's even to today.  Both Bill and Larry are straight and married.  We're still friends but the wifey's come first and I understand that.

I joined the Army when I was 18 years old.  I immediately made a BF in basic training.  His name was Mike Tine.  I lost track of him after basic training.  We corresponded for awhile after we both left basic training but that correspondence faded away.  I still have his letters.

After basic training I went to Army Security Agency training school in Ft. Devens Massachusetts.  I almost immediately became best friends with Bob Mc.  We were BF's for the six months we were both at Ft. Devens.  When we graduated from the Army Security Agency training school we choose different allotments (assignments).  I spent the next two and a half years at Ft. George G. Meade in Maryland and Bob spent his tour of duty at Ft. Bragg, North Carolina.  Yes, he did parachute jump.  God, I'm glad I didn't go there.

Me and my old Army Buddy Bob

We continued our correspondence and friendship over the years.  In fact, a few months after I left the Army I came out as a gay man to everyone I knew and I found out that Bob was also gay!  We both had no idea each other were gay.  We continued our friendship over the years.  My friendship with Bob is the reason I now live in Delaware.  He bought a place in Delaware back in the Seventies and I used to visit him often.  I fell in love with Delaware for its mild climate, gay presence in Rehoboth and friendly taxes (they don't sock it to senior citizens like Pennsylvania does).  Unfortunately Bob has dementia and our friendship is no more.

Now to my biggest BEST FRIEND.  That would be "Bill", my lover, partner and cohort these past forty-eight years.  Bill swept me off of my feet when we first met at the Westbury Bar back in the summer of 1964 while the Supremes played on the jukebox.  Bill and I have almost nothing in common.

Bill is thirteen years old than me.  At 22 years of age to his 35 years of age, back then he was more like a father figure to me.  That worked for me because my father was not close to me.  I wasn't one of those kids that dad played ball with or even took out to the ballgame.  Are you kidding?  His usual communication with me was to mock and belittle me.  Talk about low self-esteem.  By the time I left home for the Army I could do pull-ups on a curb.

Me at 14 when self-esteem was probably the lowest 

Over the years I grew to love Bill even though we had very little in common.  Bill has always treated my like a prince.  He never restricted me with this the usual American Puritan practice of monogamy.  We both agreed that we weren't going to live out lives by someone else's insecurities.

So where was I going with this posting?  I meant to talk about loneliness but I got off the track a bit with the "friend" thing.

So here's the deal, Bill and I still don't have much in common.  He doesn't like to eat out, he doesn't like to go to the theater, in fact he doesn't like company in the house.  He just likes to be around me.  Which I will admit can be a bit smothering at times.  Our biggest problem is that he thinks I don't pay him enough attention.  He thinks I pay more attention to my friends on FaceTime and my blog.  Well, maybe I do but I'm here at the house ALL THE TIME except when I go to work.  I try to balance things out so he doesn't feel neglected.  It's not easy.

Me when I used to eat out with friends 2011

Lately I've been feeling a bit down.  I thought it was depression but now I realize my condition is probably loneliness.  I think if I had a dog or cat (which Bill doesn't want, he doesn't like cats and can't take the loss of another dog) I wouldn't be as lonely.

My one and only cat "Bobby" - 1955

I like to go out.  I like to have a circle of friends.  Not gay fuck buddies but real friends.  I'm not into sex, never really have been and especially not now at this time of my life,  just friends.  I thought when I moved to the Rehoboth Beach area, where there is a heavy concentration of older gay men and women I would find plenty of friends.  Hasn't worked out that way folks.  Maybe it's me but I don't think so.

After all my years of experience I think it is nigh well impossible to have a monogamous gay friend.  It just isn't going to happen.  Either they're too bitchy, controlling, or just horn dogs.  I hate to be so negative but it just isn't going to happen.

And of course another BIG factor is that I am an OLD GAY MAN. To use a very worn cliche, I am way past my expiration date.  Gay and seventy years old?  What am I still doing alive?  My time was up thirty years ago.  I AM THE INVISIBLE MAN.  Oh sure, I am the subject of interest by my widowed former classmates, gay or not.  But to have a friend my age?  Forget it.

So I go on with my life.  Next month I have a trip scheduled to the Holocaust Museum in Washington D.C.  I will go alone on the Old People's Bus.

I have my interests.  I like to blog, take pictures, garden, work at the hotel, walk, research genealogy, and read.  Most times this works but sometimes I do yearn to talk to someone my age, with my outlook, and my sexual orientation who isn't looking for something else besides a friendship.  I don't think that will ever happen again in my life and that is sad.  Sometimes that blanket of loneliness just falls down on me and takes everything out of me.

So there, did I make any sense?

Me at my computer today 

Reconnecting With Old Friends

Peirce College, Philadelphia, PA

This morning I reconnected with an old friend from my college days in Philadelphia.  We both worked at Girard Bank at Broad and Chestnut Streets in center city Philadelphia.  After work we trudged up Broad Street to Broad and Spruce and attended night school at Peirce Junior College.

We were both attending college on the G. I. Bill.  From 1968 to 1972 we went three nights a week after work.  That was a heavy load folks.  After I got my associate degree in business management I quit and concentrated on attending to my neglected personal life which meant more time to go to the many gay bars in center city Philadelphia on the weekends rather than working on term papers.  Rich, my friend, had loftier goals.  He continued on the Wharton School at the University of Pennsylvania to work for his four year college degree.    He succeeded.

He was (and still is) straight with a family (wife and four children) to support.  His wife was a traditional stay at home wife.  Rich knew I was gay but that didn't bother him.  He liked me in spite of my homosexuality.  Of course I thought he was cute but any thoughts I had about "enhancing" our friendship I dismissed immediately.  I'm not one of those gay guys who harass guys who aren't interested in me.  To me it has to be a two way street.  Still, I enjoyed the company of this attractive and intelligent man three nights a week.

After we both received our associate degrees our close friendship waned.  We didn't work in the same department at the bank which was one of the huge Philadelphia banks.  Occasionally I would see Rich in the cafeteria or on the street but our former close friendship was one of those that drifted off into the past.

For years I have exchanged Christmas cards with Rich and his wife Molly.  Once, about twenty years ago I ran into Rich at a local hardware store near our homes in Pennsylvania.  We both said he would have to get in touch again.  Of course we never did.  We were both caught up in our day to day lives.

Three years ago I saw a notice in the newspaper where one of Rich's daughters died.  The viewing was being held at the funeral home that my family uses.  I decided to stop by after work and pay my respects.  Rich and his wife were surprised to see me in the line of mourners paying respects to his family.  Rich was a little grayer but still the same Rich that I remembered from my friendship with him in the Sixties.  We both mentioned again that we would have to stay in touch.  And again, of course we never did.

Last month Rich's wife called me on the phone to ask me a question about genealogy.  We got to talking and she told me that Rich had retired and why didn't I give him a call.  Of course I didn't. Not that I didn't want to talk to him, I'm just still too caught up in my insular life here.

When I got home from work last night I had this message on my phone:  "Hello, is the famous Ron Tipton Peirce Junior College graduate? Why, this is amazing and I hope to talk to, unfortunately you're not there.  Please call back at 610- ..... and ask for Richard......Bye!"


Listening to the mischievous, mocking, teasing tone of his voice message brought back so many fond memories of our friends lo those many years ago.  I put a note in my iPhone to call him the first thing this morning.

At 7:30 am I called Rich.  He answered the phone.  I didn't identify myself but asked him "Were you still in bed?"   He said "No.  Who is this?"  When I told him "It's Ron!"  Rich said "Ah, Ron!  How are you?" And you know what folks?  I could hear the smile in his voice when he asked me how I was.  We had a very enjoyable two hour conversation, catching up with our lives of the past thirty-five years. Folks, it was just like old times.  Gentle teasing, bragging, complaining...whatever came to my mind, lots of laughter.  Here was someone who wasn't judging me, telling me how to act.  Here was a real friend. Here was someone who liked me for who I am, not for who they want me to be.

Six years ago I moved to Delaware.  I moved to the Rehoboth Beach/Lewes/Milton area which is heavily populated with the LGBT community.  I've tried to make friends with members of this community.  I don't know what happened, maybe it's me maybe it's them but I haven't made any friends in that community.  I moved to Delaware partly because of the low taxes, milder climate, near the water and slower paced lifestyle.  I also thought I would make new friends.  I have made new friends but they're all straight. I have made a few gay friends....through my blog.  I have made NO friends in this community.  And it's not for lack of trying.  But you know folks, I am who I am.  The friends I have made accept me as I am.  I am not perfect.  I have my faults (oh yes) but I also am a pretty nice guy.  Yes, I actually am.  But I'm not a fool or a sucker (no pun intended) no will I be taken for granted, controlled or abused.

After I lost my last so-called gay "friend" (who dismissed me after he took offense to something I wrote in my blog which he thought was directed at him, which even if it was so what?) , I gave up making friends in the LGBT community in this so called Gay East Coast Capital.  I find this bunch of gay folks (and most gay folks to be honest) very self-involved, selfish, and super sensitive to imagined slights.  Folks, I just don't have the time for this foolishness.  I am tired of the silliness.

I don't  believe in a God or a super Being but I do believe in a Guardian Angel and mine came through again.  Now I have another friend to join my boyhood friend (from third grade) who I reconnected with ten years ago.  His name is Larry and he is also straight (which seems to be the only kind of friend who appreciates me as I am).  My former boss from my banking days is also my friend (he's straight) as well as another friend from my band days in high school (who is also straight).  See a pattern here folks?  Yep, I do too.

I would post some photos of my friend but back in those days I didn't take photos (which I regret very much today).  However, I will post photos that I will take after Rich and his wife Molly visit me later this month.  It sure is nice to reconnect with old friends.  This feels good folks.

So Why Wasn't I Invited?

Cars gathered at an Oyster Rocks house for a party or something earlier this evening

Been to any parties lately?  Me neither.

A few minutes ago, as I was rounding the corner of Clamshell Drive in Oyster Rocks, the development behind me where I take my early evening walk, I observed a goodly number of cars parked out in front of one of the houses.  First thought that came to my mind "Why wasn't I invited?"  


Granted, I have no idea who the people are who live in that house but during past walks, I have passed them and exchanged non binding pleasantries the way one does with strangers to let them know you're not casing their neighborhood for a future robbery.  I've been walking in Oyster Rocks for about six years now so I assume most of the long time residents know who the tall, bearded, round shouldered, "older man" is who walks in their development almost every evening when the weather is decent.

Me in full Halloween regalia October 2007

Seriously though folks, when was the last time you went to a party?  The whole six years I've lived in Gayberry, I've been invited to one party.  That was a Halloween Party that doubled as a house warming (bring a gift) held by my former Computer Guy.  When I got the invite I was all excited because I thought "Hey!  Someone likes me, they really like me!"   Little did I know that I was but one among hundreds who was invited to said Halloween Party.  Once I got there and was directed where to place my house warming gift and saw the stack of housewarming loot on the dining room table, I was brought back to reality.  Still, I managed to make the best of the situation and mingled with the crowd, none of whom could of cared less if I was there or not.  I was never invited back.  Maybe because one can only have one housewarming or maybe because I was a colossal bore.  Who knows?  Who cares?

Me sans monster mark (do I look better with the mask?)

Roman Centurions - these guys throw a lot of parties - I'm never invited

Pirates - I don't know if these guys throw parties but I sure would like to be invited to theirs

Me and my "date" - I was asked to one of his parties - ONE

So here I am tonight , talking my daily evening walk in Oyster Rocks on this very pleasant, almost summer evening and I see folk gathered together seemingly having a good time although I heard no raucous sounds emanating from their house.

I used to have an occasional Saturday night dinner that I prepared for a former friend (he dismissed me as a friend after he read something in my blog that offended him).  Bill even stayed up for that dinner.  I used to enjoy putting together something special.  I sort of miss all that was involved in putting on a dinner but it's perhaps just as well that Bill and I are back to our regular routine.  Bill goes to bed early (7 or 8 o'clock) and I stay up late watching one of my Netflix rentals.

I remember my Mother saying that when she got older she had no desire to put together a big dinner like she used to every day for years and years.  I know how she feels.

Thus my dinner tonight was meat loaf made from the Cracker Barrel recipe that I swiped from the Internet. I made one small change in the recipe, I added Chipotle bread crumbs just to see how that would taste.  OMG!  Delicious!  I now have a new Favorite Recipe.  So for dinner tonight I had my homemade red potato salad and TWO slices of my Cracker Barrel Chipotle meat loaf.  I washed it down with Turkey Hill Died Orange Decaf Ice Tea.  I sliced up the rest of the meat loaf and put them in Seal-a-Bag and froze them for dinners during the week.

So you see there, I don't need to go to no damn stinking party, I make my own party.  And for dessert tonight I'll have some of that bread pudding I made yesterday with the Panera bread baguettes that came with all that soup that I bought at Panera yesterday.

Life is good folks.

Friends Redux - Ebb and Flow

Rehoboth Avenue, Rehoboth Beach Easter Sunday April 8, 2012

Sunday evenings I used to dine with friends at the Purple Parrot in Rehoboth Beach.  That was a few years ago.  I started that mini-tradition when a friend, whose 32 year old relationship had recently ended, told me he was uncomfortable dining alone.  I told him that I would go out with him to keep him company. I like to dine out.  Bill, my spouse does not.

I don't like to dine out alone either (I remember so well the scene in "The Lonely Guy" with Steve Martin - that was me!)  so dining out with friends was a win-win situation.

My friend and I used to meet at the Purple Parrot in Rehoboth.  Soon other friends joined us.  The next hint we knew we had a tradition.  We would meet almost ever Sunday night in the off season (forget dining out in Rehoboth during The Season when Rehoboth is overrun with the touristas).  We had great fun.

A few years go when we used to meet every Sunday night at "The Feathered One."  No more

Then my friend decided he didn't want my company any more.  To this day I'm not quite sure why because he never explained it to me.  I think he was trying to save money.  He also got a job in town just down the street from the Purple Parrot so his need to dine out was gone.  I wasn't needed anymore.  He had all the social exposure and interaction he needed without the security blanket of me keeping him company so he wouldn't look like a loser dining alone.

Then there was the one time I blew up at him because I got tired of his snippy comebacks.  I'm a firm believer that if you give me enough snippy comments I'll throw them right back in your face and see how you like it.  He didn't like it.  Bullies never do. That was probably the beginning of the end of our somewhat fragile friendship, if there ever was one.

Many times after that I attempted to arrange dinner dates but he always had an excuse to not go.  Finally I gave up.  It takes me awhile but I can take a hint...eventually.  I was not wanted.  No longer needed.  Rejected.  This wasn't the first time in my life I've been rejected and it certainly won't be the last time.  One would think that one would get used to rejected but I'm here to tell you it hurts just as much the 100th time as it does the first time.  So I took the only course of action left to me and I walked away from what I thought was a friendship.  My mistake.

This morning Bill noticed another former friend's car over at one our  neighbor's house.  I looked and sure enough, the car belonged to my long time friend from Pennsylvania who I went to school with lo these many years ago.  Our friendship had also fallen by the wayside some years ago over some minor friendship infraction of what exactly I forget now.  He lost his friend/partner a few years ago.  He was alone now.  He was staying at our neighbor's house who had lost his partner of 40 years ago six months to this day.

I'm at the age now where I'm just too tired to carry grudges.  It just takes too much effort.  So I told Bill I'm going over and see what he was doing at our neighbor's house.

I knock on the door.  He comes to the door and is of course surprised to see me.  I invited myself in.  He knew I lived in the same neighborhood but wasn't sure.  We had a two hour visit.  I found out he is dog-sitting our neighbor's dogs.

Friend at the door after I knocked

We caught up on old times and new times.  Before I left we agreed to go out for dinner at the Purple Parrot tonight.  I just returned from our dinner.  We had a very pleasant evening.

OLD friends at the Purple Parrot waiting for our food!

Rehoboth wasn't crowded.  The weather was perfect.  The food was good.  The service, well it was slow but we'll overlook that.  Everything couldn't be perfect.

A walk on the deserted boardwalk in Rehoboth after dinner

What was nice was having dinner on a Sunday night in Rehoboth Beach with a real friend.

Me with the bench all to myself on the boardwalk in Rehoboth this evening

Thank you Ed.

My friend Ed who can see past my imperfections and accept me as I am as I accept him - no fair-weather friend here