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| Alfred Hickman with his mother Ethel Hickman Hadfield and her sister Grace Hickman Weaver; behind Ethel is her husband (and my grandfather) George Hadfield and Grace's husband H. Ralph Weaver. The child is my aunt Grace Hadfield Tinder Wagner. Photo taken 1916 in Downingtown, Pennsylvania |
Yesterday I received a letter from my cousin. I know what is in the letter. I choose not to read it.
Two weeks ago I received a letter from her in which she requested that I remove the information about our maternal grandmother that I had posted on Ancestry.com. I wrote her back telling her the reason I had to turn down her request. I'm pretty sure the letter she wrote back to me is either chastising me for refusing her request or disowning me. Either scenario is not one I wish to engage in at this time. Thus, that letter from my cousin will remain unopened indefinitely.
Now that I have you intrigued as to what is the subject of my cousin's consternation, I will now divulge the family skeleton I discovered whilst doing my family research.
After I left my job at First Fidelity Bank in Philadelphia, and had a period of unemployment, I began a log postponed project of researching my family tree. I began with my paternal Tipton relatives. I got very involved and unearthed a lot of family history and a few skeletons.
My Mother observed with interest my total involvement with my paternal family history and wistfully said "I guess you're not interested in my family history." She had a point, I had done very little research on my maternal family tree. I told her "I will research the Hadfield's too." She said "While you're at it, could you find out who Uncle Afred was? Every time his name came up every one would clam up. There was something strange about him that no one wanted me to know."
My Mother told me that Alfred Hickman was raised at her mother's (my grandmother) brother. But she doubted that he was her brother.
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| My grandmother, Ethel Hickman Hadfield |
Alfred Hickman was born in 1911, when my grandmother was fifteen years old. Alfred died in 1922, at eleven years of age of diphtheria. My Mother was born in 1923. She said Alfred was always a "mystery."
I started my research on uncle Alfred by asking my Mother's older sister "who was Alfred Hickman?" My Aunt Grace, who was slipping into dementia at that time and would die a few months later said "Oh!! Uncle Alfred! We DON'T talk about him!" Upon further questioning, she told me that Alfred was indeed my grandmother's son born out of wedlock and raised as her brother.
Now to prove this fact. I got Alfred's death certificate from Ancestry.com. His death certificate listed my great grandparents as his parents.
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| Alfred Hickman 1911-1922 photo taken 1916 |
I decided to get Alfred's birth certificate. That was no easy task that I was to discover. I wrote to the Pennsylvania Department of records. They responded back to me that only direct descendants (children) could obtain his death certificate. Since Alfred died at eleven years old he had no children. I wrote back to the Pennsylvania Department of records and explained that Alfred didn't have any children because he died at eleven years old and that I was his great nephew. They sent me his birth certificate. When I read his birth certificate I discovered a different name listed as Alfred's father. The name listed was Harold Griffith Sutton. Ah ha, the family skeleton was exposed.
Harold Sutton was eighteen years old at the time of Alfred's birth. My grandmother was fifteen years old. Both worked at the Lloyd estate in Downingtown, Pennsylvania. My grandmother was listed as a "governess" which is the same as a baby sitter. Harold was a gardener at the Lloyd estate. I think you can figure out what happened here. In 1911 a birth out of wedlock was a scandal. In fact when I graduated from high school in 1959 such a birth was also a scandal, that's why one of my classmates didn't graduate with us, she was pregnant.
I posted this correct information to my family tree which I maintain on Ancestry.com. I told my cousin that I had discovered this information about our grandmother. She advised me not to post the information to our family tree. She said "grandmother would have wanted it that way." Uh, really? All the parties involved are long dead. My grandmother died in 1923 at the age of 29 years old from complications from an incomplete abortion. Yes, another "skeleton" I discovered about my grandmother which will be the subject of a future blog post. Harold Sutton lived a long life and died in 1983 at age of eighty-nine years of age. He married in 1919 to a woman named Sarah and they produced six children. Harold was a college professor who lived his life in Connecticut. I don't know if he family knew about his love child, Alfred Hickman. But they probably will now since I have posted the Truth to the Internet. My grandmother married my grandfather in 1915. They had five children (my Mother being the youngest) before my grandmother died in 1923 from her incomplete abortion. My Mother was a motherless before she was two years old because of a decision my grandmother made.
Now, some may agree with my cousin that I keep this information about my grandmother a secret forever. I cannot do that. I will not lie about my grandmother. I will not lie about my uncle Alfred. His memory deserves the truth of who his real father was. I will not participate in perpetuating a lie.
We all make decisions in life. My cousin suggested that perhaps our grandmother was raped. How does she know that? Still, history deserves to know the truth.
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| My maternal grandparents 1921 - my grandmother was pregnant with my mother, she is hiding her pregnancy behind her oldest child Grace |
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| My Mother at the Birmingham-Lafayette Quaker cemetery in West Chester PA at the grave of her grandparents William and Esther Hickman - the small headstone flush with the ground at her bottom left is of Alfred Hickman, her uncle who was raised as her mother's brother by William and Esther Hickman. Bill is in the background in the two tone brown jacket. This photo was taken by me April 7, 2002 when I used to take photos of headstones in cemeteries for my Find a Grave account. At the time I did not know who Alfred Hickman was, he was always a mystery to the family and his secret would not have been known forever until I discovered the Truth. Alfred will no longer be forgotten. |
