I'm Hooked!

I'm hooked now!  I just finished watching the first two DVD's of "Six Feet Under" from my Netflix rental.

Oh sure, I know I'm late to the game of "Six Feet Under" devotees.  I don't get HBO, too expensive for me.  So what I do is wait until these series come out on DVD's and rent them.

I like the way they open up each episode with a death. The one last night was a doozy.  An old Italian baker climbed into his giant mixing bowl checking for insects while his nervous assistant was outside the bowl.  The assistant freaked out when he spied a giant insect on his arm and lost his balance, falling and accidentally hitting the "ON" button of the mixer!  The old Italian baker got blended!

First thing I thought "Oh PLEASE DON'T SHOW ME!"  Thank God they didn't.  The assistant nervously climbed to the top of the giant bowl and looked down in and the screen faded to white.  Yes, that's what I like.  No need to see the blood and gore.  Thank you, thank you.

So that was how that episode opened.  A major reconstructive challenge for "Freddy" at the Fisher Funeral Home.  The baker's body was delivered in a bag in PIECES!  They lost a foot somewhere along the way.  I LOVE IT!

Like all series, there are several story lines going on at the same time.  Perhaps the only thing I can fault the show with is the smacking sounds that the characters make when they go into their face sucking kissing modes.  These erotic scenes seem to be unique to American made series, all the groping, slobbering, grunting and sucking sounds of kissing.  You don't see this crap in British made series.  It just isn't necessary.  Does anybody enjoy watching "suck! smack! suck!" scenes?  They used to drive my Mother crazy.  I turn on the mute button on my remote when I see one of these obligatory scenes coming on.  However, if you can get past that, this is a pretty damn good show.

If you haven't seen it, rent the DVD's.  It is well worth it.  I especially like the macabre humor interlaced throughout the story.  I don't go for the blood and gore or the sloppy sex scenes but I do like good black humor and there is plenty in "Six Feet Under."  Good show!

Six Feet Under

Me at one of my favorite places...a cemetery!  This one St. Peter's Episcopal Church Cemetery, Lewes, DE - during one of my F.A.G. searches for headstones

As regular readers of this blog know, I am a longtime member of F.A.G. (Find a Grave.com).  I have always been interested in cemeteries, headstones and stories behind (or underground as the case may be) of those dear, departed folks who occupy those spaces Six Feet Under.  Now don't anyone send me a comment about how "hurtful" my blog posting is.  I just received another one of those comments again yesterday, which I will not post to my blog.  If anyone reading this blog is "hurt", well move on.  Don't bother me with your sensibilities being jarred because of things I write in my blog.

Now that I have that off of my chest, the reason I'm writing this blog is to tell you all that I finally saw the first episode of the HBO series "Six Feet Under."  Actually I saw the first three episodes last night on my 60" inch Sharp flat screen TV in the privacy of my  bedroom.  Oh how I do like watching movies and TV series in my on "movie theater."  In addition to now being much safer (unlikely a crazed gunman will burst into my bedroom with an automatic rifle and put me out of my misery and bitchiness), I don't have to be annoyed by other movie goers who talk during the movie, bring babies into the movie, and just generally annoy me because of their rudeness.  I doubt that I will ever again enter a movie theater.

But getting back to the original subject of this blog posting, here is my take on the HBO series "Six Feet Under."

Yes, it is interesting.  However, I have two main complaints about the series as I do almost all American made movies and TV series.  The characters tend to be two dimensional, there is way too much face sucking (called "kisses" in the movies and on TV), and lots of over the top, chew up the scenery acting.  I much prefer British made TV series like "Downton Abbey" that have actors who portray characters who are more nuanced (look it up in the dictionary) and three dimensional.

Another problem I have with American made productions is when the character becomes sad, angry or generally upset they throw things and clear the table tops.  This ALWAYS happens in the movies.  I have NEVER witnessed it happening in real life and believe me, my real life has had some pretty interesting times but never, NEVER have I cleared off a tabletop of dishes and salt and pepper shakers nor thrown dishes at a person.  NEVER.

This kind of action in American made movies is as predictable as when you see a fruit or vegetable cart in a   movie scene, you JUST KNOW that at some point that cart is going to be overturned by a chase sequence or a fight and the cart vendor throw his hands into the air in dismay.  Same thing when there are chickens pecking around the old homestead.  You JUST KNOW a car is going to run through those chickens sending them squawking.  Ever notice how you never see any of those chickens flattened out?  Just saying.

So I watched the first three episodes of "Six Feet Under" on my Netflix DVD rental last night and here are my succinct summations of the characters of said series:

Ah, the prodigal son.  He's supposed to be a hunk.  Not by my standards.  He's short and squat and annoying.  Not interesting except when he's pushing his gay brother David's buttons.  I love that interaction.  I'm wondering if Peter Krause is gay himself (NO COMMENTS PLEASE about me saying "hurtful" statements)

The "good brother", who also happens to be gay who actually runs the family funeral home since dad got creamed in his new hearse by a city buss while lighting one up.  Yet another annoying, whining character.  And here is something I will NEVER UNDERSTAND.  His character is gay but he goes to bed with his former fiancé?  What's that all about?  Probably a straight person who wrote the character who assumes that gay men can go to bed with women and men with equal passion.  DOESN'T HAPPEN, at least not in my world.  His intimate scenes with his policeman boyfriend are NOT BELIEVABLE probably because two straight men are play acting.  They can do all the face sucking (with loud smacking sounds yet) they want to, but this isn't true passion between two men who turn each other on.  What is it with Hollywood producers who think they HAVE TO HAVE straight men play gay roles?

The mama of the two dysfunctional brothers who run the funeral home.  Like her sons, her character is very annoying plus Ms. Conroy has a tendency to chew up the scenery.  Tone it down a bit honey.

The Daughter.  I said the two brothers were annoying, this whinny bitch is ten times as annoying as her brothers.  WHAT A BITCH!  How she ever manages to get a good-looking boyfriend who wants to plug her if beyond belief.  God, SO ANNOYING.  She not a good actress (or is it "actor" in these politically correct days)?  I'm not surprised that Ms. Fisher isn't a big name "actor" in movies these days.  She just isn't good.  Go away.

Oh I like this woman!  I like her character "Brenda" and I like the actress.  She plays her role with subtleness and conviction.  She is totally believable and interesting.  What in the world she sees in Nate Fisher other than a good (you fill in the spaces, this is now a "family blog"), is beyond me.  But I am glued to the screen when her character is on.

Hey!  I like "Frederico" too!  Totally engaging and interesting.....and cute.  Why haven't I heard of Freddy Rodriguez before?  His role is much too small but when he is on screen, again I can't take my eyes off of him.  He's funny, believable and (did I say this before?) INTERESTING!

I'm on a roll here folks!  I like the dad, recently deceased after getting smashed in his new hearse by a monster city bus.  Richard Jenkins plays the role of the dad with fun and whimsy (look it up or ask Dr. Spo).  It's a shame that his character is dead because I would like to see him for the entire series.  Maybe he is in the entire series which would be a good thing.

"Keith", the gay, policeman boyfiend of David Fisher.  Mathew St. Patrick, who plays Keith is a very handsome man.  And that's about it.  Not believable at all as the boyfriend of the whiney David.  SO NOT BELIEVABLE.  Also, he is obviously a straight man playing "gay."  Come on Hollywood, we can have a gay man (who isn't a queen) play a gay man.  We're all wearing our big boy and big girl underwear.  We can handle it.

So there you go folks, my politically incorrect review of the cast of characters (and actors) of the first three episodes of "Six Feet Under."  Even though I have my complaints about the predictable characters and some of the boring actors, I'm hooked on the series.  I guess I'm so used to the sub par movie production and acting of American made films that I'm numb to the two dimensional aspects of most American made movies and TV series.  I often wonder is it this way because of the lack of talent of the writers or that they know that most of the American public will accept this dribble?  I think the answer is a combination of both.

Now if I haven't offended or caused "hurtful feelings" with this blog I'm not doing my job.

Let me know folks!

Me with my Mom at my paternal grandparent's grave in Unionville, PA - 2002