Bringing Bill Home

Me at the funeral home with Bill, taking him home with me

 Tuesday, February 27, 2024 I brought Bill home.

Bill helped me.

Here is the story. 

My appointment at the funeral home was for 1:30 PM. 

I was sitting on the high barstool chair in our kitchen, dreading going through that traffic maze pattern that where the funeral home is located. When I went there last week to finalize Bill's arrangements, I missed the turn four times. I didn't want to do that again. 

In normal times I would just look at navigating that traffic maze as just another challenge. But being in the state I was on that day, I surely didn't need that challenge.

As I was about to get up from my kitchen chair, my front doorbell rang. "Now who could that be?" I thought. Several of my neighbors had already called previously offering to help me if I needed it. I turned them all down. They all have their own lives to live. And besides, I could manage whatever I had to do now. Their expressions of condolences was enough for me. 

I walk to my front door and open it and there is "Don K." Don used to be a neighbor. He and his late partner Al used to live five houses around the corner from me and Bill. I met Don back in 2006 when Bill and I moved into our development. Back then I was having trouble selling our house in Pennsylvania and I was carrying two mortgages. A few more months of that Bill and I would have to let our home here in Delaware go into foreclosure. The salesman from who I brought our home from told me that we weren't the only couple who was having trouble selling their previous home. He mentioned this other couple, Al and Don, who were from Princeton New Jersey and who were also having trouble selling their previous home. To seek some kind of relief from the pressure of selling our Pennsylvania home, I decided to knock on their door and share my misery with them. That I did and thus we formed a friendship. Of course both of us did eventually sell our former homes.

Al, me and Don 2007 in front of their house

About ten years ago Al became sick and died at his home. A few months after Al's death, Don decided to sell their house. He said it was "too big" for them but I suspect his reasoning also had something to do with all the memories he and Al had of living in their house. This all happened back in 2013.

Since Don moved out of the neighborhood our friendship drifted apart. No particular reason, just that Don went on with his life, eventually meeting someone new.

So fast forward and there was Don at my front two days ago asking how could he help me. 

Viola!

I told him he could drive me to the funeral home. 

Now where is what is weird. If Don had called or even texted me and asked "How can I help?" I would have turned him down. If Don had showed up an my door fifteen minutes later, I would not have been home. He just showed up unannounced and asked to help me. You know what I think folks? I think Bill had a hand in Don's appearance at my front door. Bill spirit was probably hovering over me, still continuing to care for me and do whatever it was to make my life easier and happier. He always said right up to the end of his life "Ronnie, I just want to make you happy." I think one of Bill's great concerns at the end of his life was that he would no longer be in life and would not to continue to make me happy as he ha the past fifty-nine years of our lives. He stayed in this world as long as he could, even though he was weak and struggling at the end but he still continued to make my life easier and happier even always offering to take at least one bag of groceries into the house after one of my frequent shopping trips to our local supermarket. That was Bill and I think that was Bill who contacted Don to give me a ride to the funeral home. I believe that. I truly do. I think Bill is still looking after me.

So we drive down to the funeral home. And guess what? I forget to bing my wooden box to contain Bill's ashes with me! Oh how Bill would have liked that. He always kidded me with forgetting things. He always said "Make a note" (like he did) so I wouldn't forget to take whatever it was with me. 

Don asked "Do  you want to go back and get it?" I said "Yes" thus Don drove back that horrible maze and Route One traffic to could get Bill's container to hold his ashes. 

I received Bill's ashes and brought him home. Folks, I cannot tell you how much comfort having Bill back in our home gives me. I put his ashes in his bedroom, the bedroom he loved so much. Those ashes will stay there until I die. Then his ashes will be buried with me. That's what I promised Bill and that's what I'm going to do. 

And thank you Don. Don, who probably doesn't know the invisible hand of Bill's spirit directed him to me on that Tuesday afternoon when I needed help.

One more thing, check the video below. I was thanking Don and he got me mixed up with Bill! Funny thing that. Well, Don and I are going to renew out friendship. Don told me one of the reasons he came to my door was that was also the first day of home hospice care for his now partner. A man whom I haven't met but I will. Should I show up at Don's door unannounced? No, I won't. I'll give him a heads up. I know how it is with home caregiving. Don does too. With his Al, it was only about a week before he died at home. We don't know how long Don's current husband will be under home hospice care. I feel for him. While I'm saddened that I no longer have Bill here at home and to care for him, I'm finally getting around to accepting I'm beginning a new (and probably) last chapter of my life. Pat will be coming down for a week April 17th to be with me. He has to get some things cleared up first. Coincidentally, April 17th is St. Patrick's Day. Coincidence? Pat always has been a saint to me, from the day we met by pure serendipity in 2013.