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| Pat greeting Bill upon his arrival last week |
Notice that I've been absent these past few days?
I've been trying to determine why I'm a little down since Pat left.
Of course I miss him. Pat and I get along so great. In the past, before COVID and I began caregiving for Bill, Pat and I got together every three months. That was fabulous. We had time together and then we had time alone. Both Pat and I are solitary people. We prefer living alone, which is interesting in my case since I've lived with Bill these past fifty-nine years.
That wasn't my choice to live with Bill. Sure, I liked being friends with him but I wanted to live alone. Having grown up in a "Grand Central Station" household, I couldn't wait until I got out in life on my own. I was twelve years old when I realized I wanted to live alone. As soon as I could get away from home, I did.
When I met Bill he wanted me to live with him. I didn't want to, just wanted to "remain friends." I've told this story before but I told Bill he "wasn't the one." He said he understood that but he wanted me to still live with him. He had no restrictions on me and he good to his word and he has never held restrictions on me. Even during Pat's past visit last week, Bill was accommodating. I can't say he was totally happy. He likes Pat and Pat likes him but he does prefer just us in our house. Actually it doesn't matter who is here, Bill prefers just me and him in our home. But he is accommodating. Always has been. That's probably why I've been with him so long.
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| Maybe a bit awkward this time |
Since Pat and I haven't been getting together every three months, I sort of get used to just seeing him on FaceTime or Zoom. Then when he visit, the separation is much more acute. And I have to say, I think I miss him more than he misses me. Pat is even more solitary than I am.
So this past week I've been a bit down in the dumps. Having Pat visit, spending time with him at some of the local attractions, watching movies together, eating out; I miss those activities with Pat now. I guess I'm in withdrawal.
But there are way more important things in this world than my little petty feeling sorry for myself grievances. Just to let you all know why I haven't been blogging lately. Give me a couple more weeks and I'll be back to normal.
4 comments:
Hello Ron,
It is understandable feeling a little blue since Pat left. You miss him. You guys have a good time together. Surprised you guys have not ended up in jail. Sort of like coming home from a great vacation somewhere out of your state and realizing you have to go back to work. Depressing as hell. Reminds me when I returned from living in Germany for two years and coming back to the United States. Yes, I missed a few of the conveniences of living in the US but after a couple of weeks or so I wanted to return to Germany.
How is Pat? I hope things are a little better for him since he downsized. Is his health good?
Well, have a good evening and rest of the weekend. Remember Santa is coming. He has seen what you have posted and there will be a little talk!
Be well,
Victor
XO
Victor,
Thnaks for your well wishes. I do miss Pat more than usual since he paid a visit in person. Over the past year I got used to "being" with him through FaceTime. While FaceTime is good, in person is always better. Plus, I got to go out, which I never do when I'm alone. It was nice. Looking forward to when I can be with pat again. By the wya, he's doing fine.
Ron
That sure makes sense you're somewhat 'down in the dumps'. I get it. I think the situation was layered. You got to spend time with Pat...plus, you got out of the house and was able to do things you normally don't get to with someone you really care about. Then they leave. Poof. Back to the same old same old. I hope Pat is able to make a return visit in reasonable time and you can once again enjoy your time with him. That's cool Bill is so accommodating. You give so much Ron. Take care. Feel better. I hope your weather holds out. Tomorrow it's wind and rain here in Ohio and then that white stuff comes rolling in...or so they say.
Paranormal John
Paranormal John,
Your comments are right on the mark John. I'm back to the same old, same old after doing things with Pat I haven't done in about year and a half. I feel guilty complaining about my situation because so many caretakers and people in general are much worse off than I m but I am rather limited in my social life. Trips to the store (grocery) punctuated by the occasional doctor's appointment for either Bill or me. I'm so much better now though, now that I'm slipping back into my regular routine. I talk to Pat several times a day on FaceTime and live vicariously during his outings like last night when he took me via FaceTime to a local bar where one of his favorite bands was playing. Life goes on here and it's not so bad.
Ron
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