Bill shaved for the first time in three weeks this morning.
I also cut his hair for the first time in my life this morning.
Today we went out for a ride. Before Bill's emergency I took him out for his ride almost every day. Bill is so happy we have returned to his daily ride. Today was a nice sunny day too.
I think I'm getting a routine worked out during this new phase of our lives. A friend, who took care of his mother during her declining years, recommended that I make time for myself every day to cope with being a full-time (24/y) caregiver. That's what I'm doing now that Bill is in his recliner in his bedroom. However, I do have to stop in his bedroom before I go to bed about 11 PM to help him in the bathroom. This is one function that I wish I didn't have (I have enough problems with my bathroom visits) but I'm managing. Seems like my whole day is based on Bill's bathroom needs.
Bill's walked more, with the help of his walker today. That's better than sitting all day, he has to get the blood flowing in his legs. He was complaining about his legs hurting yesterday. His legs didn't hurt today. I told him he has to walk more.
Another problem is that he's always cold. I just came back from his basement bedroom, which is always toasty. His bedroom is next to our heater, my bedroom is on the other side of the house. He said he was "cold." I checked the thermostat of the space heater in his bedroom, it's set at 74 degrees which was warm enough for him in the past. Now he's cold. I moved it up to 79 degrees. It's like a sauna in his bedroom now.
I have to go down to his bedroom at about eleven for another pee call. I'm tired now and would like to go to bed but I don't have that option because if I go to sleep, I know I won't wake up until 3 PM at the earliest. And of course no afternoon nap this afternoon. My afternoon naps are a thing of the past. They were always how I rejuvenated myself.
This morning was an ordeal. I woke up at 2 AM and of course he had to go to the bathroom. I woke up again at 4:30 AM for another bathroom visit for him. I took this opportunity to give him a shower, which he hated but he needed. Then he shaved after the shower (the video above) and I cut his hair.
Tomorrow is going to be a busy day. A TELEHEALTH video call with his VA doctor. Also coming over is his Medicare health aid physical therapist (Serena). Also the case manager (Linda) is coming over. I'm sure there is going to be an overlap. I'll have to manage the best I can.
Today was very busy too. Had to call the ambulance company to tell them to send the bill to the VA for Bill's transportation from Philadelphia to Dover. I also got the quote from the local funeral home on Bill's final arrangements. Talk about sticker shock and I'm not even having a viewing. I called my neighbor who buried his wife last year through the same funeral home and he did have a viewing. I dared to ask how much that cost.......$20,000! Wow. The funeral home did do a nice job though. That's why I called them. They do take care of everything. If Bill passes before me (and one never knows) I won't be in any shape to provide all his personal information. My brother suggested that I take care of this now and I'm glad I did. I checked around and the cost estimate was the average. I've come around and now have accepted the cost. I want Bill to get a good sendoff. He will get a military funeral with a 21 gun salute. But in the meantime I have to go downstairs now and make sure he's warm.
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| Bill with a cover over his head trying to stay warm |
14 comments:
Sounds like you guys could use some help. It's good you have home health people on the case. Don't be squeamish about the pee bottles, i use them too. Don't be shy about using those disposable mattress pad thingies. Ask them about Ensure, that drink. It helps when you can't eat. I'm so happy that your Bill is home. Keep going for drives.
So happy that Bill is home! I hope things get a little easier with each passing day! Even though it’s extremely hard, it’s wonderful that you have this time together. 💕 Hugs, Margaret
I've only recently found your blog, thank you for sharing! It sounds like you are getting along reasonably well. I'm glad you are taking time for yourself. I believe that can be instrumental to your own health. Do you have a place to keep a list of questions that come to you between visits from the home health people? In our neck of the woods there are home health care angels who can help with routine care like bathing. Don't be shy about asking for help and advice about how to do things in a way that is easier for both of you. Now is not the time to reinvent the wheel. You can only continue to give Bill this tremendous gift of being at home (what most of us truly long for), if you simultaneously take care of yourself. Keeping you both in my most positive thoughts!
You guys sure need some help !
You can not do it ALL by yourself Ron , you will run out of energy soon .
Because you are the one who is adepting and improvising , he's back to his old routine .
Also Bill has run out of : " he doesn't like , he doen't want , he doesn't need " .
No veto pls , when he is not going to survive one single day all by himself .
Write down all you what to ask and need to know from your home health caretakers .
Once they are there you tend to forget most of it .
Good luck , both of you .
It is normal to have a decline in ability to regulate body temperature as we get much older. It is not uncommon for people to need a room at 80 -82 - 84 to be comfortable. It is part of a slowing metabolism that happens. Taking time for yourself is essential. Ask for more home health help,
Richard,
You're right, we could use help. The home health care folks were here yesterday. They are physical and occupational therapists. No problem using the pee jug. In fact, now Bill can go to the bathroom by himself at night to pee. The Number Two, he still needs my help getting up and off the toilet. Bill is also using the walker every day. There is progress, slow but progress which is encouraging. And yes, we go for a drive every day. Today we ride down to our lawyer's office in Rehoboth Beach to sign his updated will.
Thanks for your comment and advice Richard.
Ron
HI Margaret,
Good to hear from you. Yes, I am so glad Bill is home where I can care for him and shower him with love. So much better than him being in a rehab. As good as rehabs are (and he was at a very good one in Dover), rehabs still aren't home. Bill is slowing gaining here at home. He's weak but he's comfortable and loved which is all we can ask for at this time of his life.
Ron
Anonymous,
You just found my blog (smile?? I've been blogging for fifteen years. You don't know what you've been missing. Quite a saga here, the Ron and Bill Story. I am asking for help but so far we're on the home health birds who specialize in physical and occupational therapy. I can handle most of the rest of care for Bill, especially now that he's able to go to the bathroom at night (pee) by himself. That's a big break for me. I can at least get a good night's sleep and not have to worry about him peeping in his recliner chair. I'm gradually carving out pockets of time for myself, now that we're settling into a routine. I don't feel quite so overwhelmed now.
Thank you for your comment.
Ron
Anonymous (you guys are going to run out of energy),
We're working on it. I've had to correct Bill on a couple of things and he's agreed with me, especially when I told him if he falls again and breaks something he would probably spend the rest of his life in a rehab or nursing facility, which he absolutely does not want. Got his attention.
We're settling into a routine. Every day, a little bit better.
Ron
Travel (David),
I'm learning a lot. Now I know that blood thinner medication is why he's always so cold. I'm so glad I have him home here with me to take care of and love him. Thanks for your comment David.
Ron
Bill looks quite toasty or perhaps a little boy playing peekaboo
Ur-spo,
I found out why he was so cold, he's taking blood thinner. We had that room at 80 degrees! Finally that was warm enough.
Ron
Bill is a lucky man to have such a noble care giver as you. I told Rick he would have to depend on his granddaughter or I would put him in a home. But one never knows what they are capable of until the challenge presents itself.
Jeff,
Thank you for your comment. Bill and I often talked about a friend of ours who ended up in a One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest facility. That friend of our said he would never end up in a place like that but that's where he died. One never knows what one would do in that situation. I just could not leave Bill in a facility. It broke my heart every time I left him at the rehab hospital. I'm managing to take care of him here at home which was what I was praying for. However, if he was worse, say a stroke or didn't know who I was, I don't know if I would be capable of caring for him. So far I'm managing and he seems to be improving, but it is slow. I use the old cliche "one day at a time."
Ron
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