Tuesday, January 08, 2013

Visit to Jim and Bob at Senior Living

Our friends Jim and Bob this morning
Bill and I visited our friends Bob at Jim at their new home at a senior living facility this morning.  We just got back.



My Bill cheering up Jim
Both Bob and Jim were a bit down when we visited.  But anyone who knows me and Bill knows that we leave you laughing.  We were successful, we left Bob and Jim with big smiles on their faces.


Bob, Jim (smiling) and me at their senior living apartment this morning
This senior living facility is interesting.  It's an option I never considered before but am now giving serious consideration.  Of course I am no where near moving into a senior living facility at this time of my life.  But say if I'm still living ten or fifteen years from now it may very well be an option, for either Bill or I.  


Bob and Jim - together 29 years
As long as Bill and I are alive we're going to live together in our home.  However, should one of us die before the other and continue to live on into advanced old age, one of these senior living facilities makes sense.  


Me (left) - always the clown

I'm 71 years old now.  Say I live to be 85 or 90 years old.  I figure by that time most if not all of my friends are gone.  One of the big pluses about living in a senior living facility is that you're not lonely.  There are a LOT of other fellow seniors living there, albeit most of them women.  I like women, just not in a sexual way. As a matter of fact I wouldn't want to live in a senior living facility with a lot of lecherous old gay men.  Can you imagine? I can't.  

All my life I've always planned for contingencies; what I would do at various stages of my life.  The one stage that I didn't have firm plans was if I reached an advanced age and was by myself.  I think I found the answer.  Of course I would prefer to live by myself but I have to be realistic.  

What do you think?


Bob and Jim at the door to their apartment - leave them smiling

18 comments:

  1. I think it is a good alternative. Those places are expensive but it is your money, your choice. It is a good idea to have important decisions planned. Being in denial leads nowhere. I do hope it won't be for another 15 or 20 years, BUT, If something happens to Bill and you are still going strong, what will you do? Put Bill in the facility and you stay in your house? Both of you move in there together? What happens if something happens to Bill say next month, dies in two months and you have sold your house and now you are in the facility by yourself, still young and well but your house is sold? What do you do? These are the questions that you should consider. Sorry for being so blunt! And of course, nothing will happen to Bill for a long time, BUT, one never knows about the future.

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    1. Nadege,

      I consider all options. This is one I had never considered before, a "nursing home" which is really what a "Senior Living Facility" is. I never tout I could afford it of would want it but as I grow older and realize there is a real possibility I may not want to be burdened with taking care of a whole house by myself, such a facility as my friends are in would definitely be an option. You can come and go as you wish, they serve you three beautiful meals a day and the place is clean and friendly. But most important I wouldn't be living alone in my old age should I reach that time in my life. Since I have no family and wish to remain independent this is a viable alternative for me.

      Ron

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  2. I cannot think of a better person this applies to .... So, the secret of you being blessed is to bless others. It is an old concept. When you’ve been blessed…pass it on!

    Roger

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    1. Absolutely Roger! Actually, Bob has been my longtime friend sinc ewe met in the Army in 1960. It is so sad to see him slipping this was (Parkinson's and dementia) but he's always smiling when we leave so we must be doing some good. Sadly, very few of their friends visit them now.

      Ron

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  3. "What do you think?"

    Good question. I've been married 43 years and have no desire to live alone. It would be hard to recognize myself. Your friends made a good choice.

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    1. George,

      My 20 nieces, nephew and grand nieces and nephews may never inherit any of my money now. If I'm old and out of it, this is definitely the route I'm going. I don't want to be that strange old man who lives in the old decrepit house on the corner like I so often saw in the small town in which I grew up. I still want my privacy but I don't want to live alone. This may be my option should I live really a long time.

      Ron

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  4. your friends look as if they are well taken care of and have everything they need. that's a good thing; you hear so many horror stories...

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    1. Anne Marie,

      They have excellent care! Brandywine Assisted Living is the facility. I am very impressed by their operation. That's why I am considering that an option should I ever have serious problems in the future.

      Ron

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  5. Bob and Jim are lucky to have you two as friends.

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    1. Jeff,

      Bill and I have known Bob and Jim a long time. We couldn't just abandon them. But it is sad to see them in decline and not to be able to do anything about it. At least we can still give them a hard time and make them laugh. I fear the day when we can't do that.

      Ron

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  6. Ron: Both you and Bill seem to take pretty good care of your health.
    There's a good bet that you'll both be in good health for a long time. I'm curious. You've mentioned in some of your previous posts that both of your friends are having cognitive issues. Do they remember who you and Bill are?

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    1. Sean,

      Bob doesn't know our names now but he knows we're somebody he knows. Jim knows our names but his memory is beginning to go.

      Bob requires constant care which Jim provides. But Jim is starting to slip now.

      Bill and I are both going strong but who knows what the future holds. Bill is 84 and I'm 71. Bob is 76 and Jim is my age 71. Bob has Parkinson's which contributes to his present condition. Me and Bill just have aches and pains..l.so far.

      Ron

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  7. Darned if I have the answers. Happily I am likely to pop before I get old enough to wonder about this sort of set up.

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    1. Dr. Spo,

      I thought for sure I would "pop" before I reached 60. I am very surprised that I am 71 and still chugging along. So I have make plans for when I'm 95!

      Ron

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  8. Randy in NEB.3:36 AM

    Ron, I have to concure with Jeff, your friends Bob and Jim are blessed to have you and Bill as their friends! Reading what you have to say about them makes me wish I could be there and give them both a big hug! And you two as well. When the time comes for you to face a change in lifestyle you'll do what you have to. My neighbor lived to 99yrs in an old age home, but at 90yrs he was up on a ladder painting the top floor windows. He stayed in his house until he was 95 years old. I'm finding out now old age isn't for wimps! Hope your both around for a long time. Randy.

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    1. Randy,

      Bill and I hope to live on our own as long as possible but one never knows when we become so disabled that we need more assistance. This was the last unresolved question in my life, which. Has been so carefully planned. One thing I do fear is totally loneliness. I can managed somewhat living in my own house in an advanced age but I'm not sure how I would handle the loneliness. Already I've lost so many friends and relatives. More will come.

      Ron

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  9. I'm only 46 but as I've been cleaning this old house intensely the past week, it's occurred to me that we may not be able to live here forever. I hope we can, I pray we can, but it may get beyond us. Just the thought of leaving it breaks my heart and I hope it's never an issue but the thought is there. It's unsettling, isn't it?

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    1. Holly,

      I always assumed I would live in my own home but when I injured my leg recently (it's better now) I realized how easily I could become I capacitated if I lived alone. My friends Bob and Jim were vibrant and self-sufficient not that many years ago but here they are now, unable to handle their own affairs. You just never know. I like to make plans for all contingencies. Especially the contingency that I may be 85 years old someday and alone which I do not want to be alone. Something to think about.

      Ron

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