Happy Birthday Pat

Pat (on the right and his friends today at his favorite (only) Hamilton, Ontario, Canada tiki restaurant.

 Guess whose birthday is today? 

Pat!

My Canadian fiancé (we're still waiting for his K-1 VISA approval).

This is a photo he texted me today of his birthday dinner treat by his best friends Paul and Deb. 

Pat is at his favorite tiki restaurant in Hamilton. Pat LOVES tiki restaurants. We fell in love with them when visiting Palm Springs. Can't wait to make a return visit to the Tiki Hut on Palm Canyon Drive in Palm Springs in February when we visit for Modernism Week. 

By the way, check out that Christmas tree!

Just The Two Of Us

Doesn't today seem like Saturday? Well, actually it is!

Interesting isn't it when holidays fall in the middle of the week. My whole rhythm is thrown off. That's all right though because I just found this great new playlist for continuous disco mix.

I remember way back in 1980 (that long ago Ron?) that I would make a special trip to one of the after hour clubs in Philadelphia (where I lived at that time) and position myself next to one of those massive four foot speakers on the dance floor and just absorb the beat of the disco continuous music. 

I had my "sticks" and my poppers and I would really get into beat. I would do that for hours. Yes, hours! 

Saturdays are always sad for me now since that when Bill had passed, early on a Saturday morning. 

This Saturday was overcast with a light rain. Even worse. Even though Bill had passed February 22nd of this year, the day was overcast (no rain though) and chilly. 

I know Bill is in Heaven now where there is incredible light and peace. He awaits me. This I know. I know that one day I will enter the Gates of Heaven where Bill will welcome me with his open arms and our five Pomeranian doggies will be happily jumping around our feet. 

Our last three Poms, the mother, father and their daughter happy to see me at our house in Pennsylvania about 1984. What a wonderful life we all had then!

Until that wonderful day happens, I continue to mark each day that I exist here on earth, with my few loved friends and my way of ultimate relaxation as I am doing now by listening to this playlist.

Me, 1964 at my furnished, two room efficiency apartment in Coatesville, PA. This is the year I met Bill. What a dump that apartment was but it worked for me at that time. I still have that carnival glass pitcher and glass set! I think I still have that green T-shirt!

Dermatologist Visit And Other Fun Experiences This Morning

Rehoboth Beach Walmart parking lot, yes, I used to feed the seal gulls.

This is the same Walmart where I hit the asphalt. Much more crowded though in June. This picture was taken in the winter, early in the morning. 

 Had to get up early this morning for my annual dermatologist visit. 

I've been making this visits for over thirty years now. I am paying the price for my youthful folly of "working on my tan" in the summertime. Oh if I could do those days over again. Oh well.

My physician's assistant had a field day burning off various keratosis spots all over my old worn out sagging body. 

As you know for the "full body check" I have to disrobe everything except my "boxer" shorts (who wears whitie tighties anymore?). The only thing I have to cover myself with is one of those flimsy hospital gowns that you can never quite close in the back. Very drafty those gowns and this one this morning was no exception. 

I used to apologize for my body when I'm exposed like this but these days I'm almost invisible to those who work in the medical establishment so I don't ever bother apologizing for the sad state of my body. Hey, at eighty-three year old, what can you expect? It's all sag, not much I can do about it although I have begun lifting ten pound barbells every morning to recover some muscle tone before I completely sag out.

So this is it for my doctor's appointments year. That is if I don't pass out in the Walmart parking lot again like I did this past June when Pat and Glenn were visiting. Thank God they were with me when I hit the asphalt as we were exiting the Rehoboth Walmart. Otherwise an exiting car would probably have backed out over me and all my worries and woes would have been solved then and there.

By the way, after my dermatologist visit I decided to go into the Rehoboth Walmart (since I was down that way anyway on Route One) and pick up a few items. Wouldn't it be just my luck to encounter a screaming little girl. Oh God how I had those screamers and this one was LOUD. Notice how they can stand still? Almost jumping up and down like a Mexican Jumping Bean. If they're not jumping they're running down the aisles. This screamer was two or three years old. In with her grandmother and mother. The grandmother kept saying "Now Shade". "Stay here Shade." Oh Shade."  Gee? Do you think the little screamer's name was .........SHADE? Oh how cute! It was obvious grandma wanted everyone in the store to know her little darling's name was SHADE.  

Walmart checkout!

I had to get away from that screamer before she elevated my blood pressure more that it was already. 

Wouldn't you know it they followed me on the same trajectory around the store and I was going? Even to the checkout! I'm always concerned that these little screamers run into my legs. Always happens. You know folks, I can see where kids are cute but you keep them. Okay? They drive me crazy. Boy, was I glad to get out of that store. In the past I've posted an episode like this to my You Tube account with a video. I don't do that anymore. The vitriol that rains down on me, unbelievable. Wow. "You miserable old man!" Yep, that's me, a "miserable old man." Guilty as charged.. I had to finally disable comments on my You Tube posts. In fact, I don't eve post those episodes to You Tube anymore. This is another reason I'm dreading my plane trip to and from Palm Springs. I just know I'm going to get one of those whiney kids on the planes. Doesn't bother Pat. Bothers me though. And when I don't get a whiney kid I'll get a hefty person with body odor. Oh yes, that's happened. You know I probably should have chosen a different career, a stand up comedian as a Miserable Old Man. 

I'm back home now. Looking forward to a nice quiet night and maybe I'll luck out and get a good movie or series on Netflix. Wish me luck!

The Day After Christmas 2024

 

Michael (Spo), Randy and Pat 2014

We made it folks! 

Now we start the countdown for Christmas 2025.

Doesn't it feel like each year we reach the goal of another Christmas only to begin the countdown for the next year? 

This year with the return of Trump into office as president can you imagine what next year will be like? Quite frankly, I cannot imagine. Well, actually I can but I don't want to think about it. 

Instead I want to think about nice occasions like our last Bloggerpalooza which took place TEN YEARS AGO in 2014. The photo at the beginning of this post was taken from that gathering that took place at my place of work in Lewes, Delaware. Pictured from left to right are Spo of Spo Reflections, Randy of Nebraska and Pat ("my Pat") of Hamilton, Ontario, Canada. Now just imagine where we will be ten years from now. Do you really think at 93 years old (that's how old I will be then years from now), I'll still be blogging? Right! I'll be blogging from the spirit world. One thing is probably for sure, Trump will still be dominating the news because he, and his enablers (the Congressional Republicans and HIS Supreme Court) will have figured out a way to keep him in office for life. I don't even want to think about that.

I hope you all had a wonderful and peaceful Christmas. I had a quiet one here. My widowed neighbor invited me over for Christmas dinner with his extended family (there were four cars in his driveway). I declined not because I don't like him (I do) but because I always feel like a skunk at a picnic when I have a meal with him and his extended family and friends. First of all they're all MAGA (we don't talk politics of course, we have that understanding), all straight and all family orientated. Zero in common except that we're neighbors and we watch out for each other since we're both widowed. I would like some of that turkey he was talking about. Maybe he'll have some leftovers he can offer me tomorrow or this weekend.

The next week is the week I hate the most of the year. There's nothing on TV. All a rehash of the past year with second string journalists (I watch MSNBC and CNN exclusively). I don't need a review of the past year. I know what happened. A disaster that I don't want to relieve through flashbacks. The week between Christmas and New Year's is always a Lost Week for me.

This year for the first time in a long time I am considering some serious resolutions. No more Trump rants. That's like pissing in the wind. Doesn't change anything except getting piss all over me. Also I'm going to continue working on controlling my spending habits. Since I'm not working at the hotel and don't have Bill's modest Social Security income for household expenses, I have to learn to live within my means. This year's trip to Palm Springs will be my last. Not only because I can't afford it anymore (I can't) but because I am not physically up to it. I just can't move around like I used to nor do I want to. I'm perfectly comfortable putzing around my own house here in southern coastal Delaware. I actually live in a resort. Time to enjoy my environs. I have everything I need here, except of course the love of my life Bill. Oh how I do continue to miss him. However, I am finally getting used to living by myself and quite frankly I am enjoying it. I continue to talk to Pat daily on FaceTime and stay in touch with my other friends via Zoom. I think I'll be quite comfortable here doing a slow fadeout over the years until I am no more. Oh maybe occasional visits from Pat but not like we used to do the last eleven years, every three months we would get together. Pat's quite comfortable at his new home in Hamilton, Ontario, Canada. Hopefully next year his K-1 VISA will be approved and we can get married but we don't have to live together to be in love and be husband and husband. Pat is the last love of my life, wherever we live and whether we live together or not. One thing is for certain, I will never live with anybody else except maybe Pat and that's not likely now. Oh I would like to have a pet but that isn't going to happen either. Not fair to the pet and a danger to me because I would probably trip over the pet eventually and end up in the hospital with a broken hip or worse.

That's the plan folks! Have a nice evening and a nice week at the end of the year where nothing is going on.

Christmas Day 2025

Me in my Previous Life 1964 - Bucks County, PA
(BTW, I still have that bathrobe!!!!)

 Good morning folks!

Are you sitting on the floor, lotus fashion, around your Christmas tree in your jammies waiting to begin opening Christmas presents?

I hope so!

Christmas is a family thing. 

Bill always said that. He also always said "Christmas is for kids." I believe that but I also believe Christmas is whatever you make it for yourselves.

Of course the REAL MEANING of Christmas is to celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ, the founder and leader of the ONLY REAL RELIGION (according to their adherents, especially the evangelicals) that will get you in Heaven. That is if you give enough praise to their vengeful and insecure God who will smite you if you DON'T ACCEPT this mythical person called Jesus Christ as you SAVIOR. 

I never understood that whole concept folks, even when I was a little kid and being brainwashed into this concept that never made sense to me. Of course I understand now, that form of religion was to keep the Great Unwashed under the control of The Few who seized power over them by threats and intimidation and promises of Eternal Damnation unless you followed their dictates.  

So here I am on Christmas Day, which originally was a pagan holiday heralding the beginning of a new beginning. 

I'm not all "Bah Humbug" though about the concept of Christmas. I'm a believer in you doing whatever gives you comfort, as long as what you do doesn't interfere in my life choices. Who am I to tell you what religion to follow in your life. But by the same token, this is a message for you Evangelicals, don't tell me what I HAVE TO DO to conform to the religion YOU choose so I get get my ticket to Heaven.

My beliefs are very simple. I think we all have a spirit or soul that inhabits this body of flesh and bone that, if we're lucky, lasts about seventy or eighty years. We are incarnated in these physical bodies to LEARN and LOVE while we're LIVING. We keep coming back to this physical life until we get it right and then are blended back into The One. Yes, THAT God. 

So on this Christmas Day I wish all of you a happy and joyous time with your family, if you have one to spend the day with. For those of you who have no family with you today, I wish you a very happy day with your memories. That's the way I'm spending my day today, with my lifetime of memories made possible by my late husband Bill Kelly and my many friends I've made during my lifetime including those who have passed and my few friends left who are still alive and will probably outlive me in this physical incarnation. 

Have a wonderful day everyone!

Christmas Eve 2024

Here we are, another Christmas Eve.

This Christmas Eve will be my first without Bill. 

I just got off the phone with the wife of my cousin who died four and a half years ago. I know she was very close to her husband, as Bill and I were to each other. In fact we both took trips together to my father's birthplace (my cousin Bob's father was one of my father's brothers) in North Carolina. 

My cousin and his wife from our trip to North Carolina in 2013

Today I had just received a Christmas card (one of those sparkly cards I love). I'm feeling very lonely tonight (of course) so I thought I would take a chance and call her. She was home. We had a nice conversation. Hard to believe that her husband died four and half years ago, it just seems like last year that he passed on. She told me she is still dealing with the loss, as I am still struggling with my loss of Bill. I have to admit it was a little depressing to know that four years from now I will still be grieving for Bill's loss. By now I know that I will be grieving for the rest of my life for Bill. This is the price of true love. Bill was the love of my life.

What am I doing for Christmas? I'm just spending the day here at Casa Tipton-Kelly alone. And that's the way I prefer to spend this first Christmas without Bill. I know Bill's spirit is with me. As is this DjMora's playlist. This music may not appeal to everybody but it does give me comfort.

I hope wherever you are and whether our alone or will your loved ones, you all have a very happy Christmas.

Christmas Countdown

Bill celebrating Christmas 2010 with our late neighbor Christmas 2010

All three (including her dog) are in Heaven now.

 Only three shopping days to Christmas! 

Have you got all your shopping done?

Is it me or does Christmas seem to roll around really fast each year? 

This weekend here at Casa Tipton-Kelly will be a quiet weekend. Just the way I want it.

This is the first Christmas that I will be without the love of my life, Bill Kelly. Sad times here folks. 

Bill opening his Christmas gift from his neighbor Barbara Christmas 2010

Bill and I never did whoop it up on Christmas but we did enjoy the quiet times spent together during the Christmas celebrations all around us.

Pat is visiting his good friends Paul and Deb right now. He spends his Christmas with them and later, he will visit his brother and his wife and perhaps one of his nephews. In fact he is with Paul and Deb as I write this blog posting.

I didn't do anything today. In fact I didn't even get in my car and take a drive. I thought about going to Food Lion or the Restore Thrift Store but I opted to take a nap instead. It's just too cold outside and I have no desire to mingle and mix with the Christmas crowds. Yes, here in sales tax free Delaware there still are a lot of last minute Christmas shoppers.

Correction, I did do a little bit of updating on my Find a Grave account and my Ancestry.com account. I just found out recently the husband of one of my cousins died earlier this year about the same time Bill died. I'm on the outs with my cousin, she angry with me because I posted on my Ancestry.com account that our grandmother had a child out of wedlock in 1911  when she was only fifteen years old. Our grandmother died when my Mother was just a little over two years old at age twenty-nine. 

My maternal grandmother, Ethel Darlington Hickman Hadfield. A grandmother I never met. She died at age 29 from complications of childbirth. She had a total of seven children. I will see her in Heaven. I look forward to that day. 

My Mother, before she died asked me to "find out about Uncle Albert." Turns out "Uncle Albert", who was raised as my grandmother's younger brother was actually her son out of wedlock. He died at age eleven years old from diphtheria. I did a lot of research including obtaining death records and birth records. The death record stated that my great grandmother and great grandfather were Albert's parents but the birth record indicated that Albert's actual mother was my grandmother and another man. They were both teenagers at the time. And back in 1911 having a child out of wedlock was a major scandal. Not so much now. Still, my cousin said "Grandmother wouldn't like it if I put that information in my Ancestry.com account." Oh give me a break~! Grandmother is dead. Let the truth come out. So, cousin and I have been estranged ever since. Her choice. This is something I've found out when researching my family history, every now and then one turns up a skeleton in the closet that other family members would prefer to keep in the closet. Wow, did I ever veer of the subject of my quiet Christmas weekend. Anyway, my cousin's husband died this past January. I always liked him and his name was also "Ron." 

I made a nice Find a Grave Memorial for him, out of my respect for him. 

You know how you just connect with some people? I connected with him. He was a nice guy and even though I didn't know him that long or well, I felt sad when I read his obituary. He was 91 years old though, he had a good run. Like Bill had a good run at 95 and I'm having a good fun at 83 years old. 

For years I've joked about not having that long to go but I'm not joking now. The numbers don't like. eighty-three years old is OLD. 

I'm tired now. One more trip to Palm Springs but after that trip I'm just going to coast out here at home in Delaware. Maybe a few trips to visit Philadelphia where my eighty-eight year old good friend still lives. I have an eighty-two year old brother who lives in the family homestead in Pennsylvania but we're also estranged. He's a Trumper and blinded by his hatred of "fucking Democrats." I'm done with him. And I don't feel bad about it. He's been difficult his whole life. He's the only brother I've ever had physical fights with. My other younger brother, we never fought. He died a couple of years ago.

With so many of my friends and relatives dying I'm starting to feel like I'm on an island. But you know folks, it doesn't feel bad. It's just another adjustment in my life. This "journey" that has been quite a trip.

I've been meaning to write a blog post about all these scenarios from my life that have been replaying in my mind since Bill died. I've had a very interesting life but I do feel things are wrapping up now. I'm getting for forgetful and I am always tired.

Have a nice weekend everyone.