Christmas Blues

Pat greeting Bill upon his arrival last week

Notice that I've been absent these past few days?

I've been trying to determine why I'm a little down since Pat left. 

Of course I miss him. Pat and I get along so great. In the past, before COVID and I began caregiving for Bill, Pat and I got together every three months. That was fabulous. We had time together and then we had time alone. Both Pat and I are solitary people. We prefer living alone, which is interesting in my case since I've lived with Bill these past fifty-nine years.

That wasn't my choice to live with Bill. Sure, I liked being friends with him but I wanted to live alone. Having grown up in a "Grand Central Station" household, I couldn't wait until I got out in life on my own. I was twelve years old when I realized I wanted to live alone. As soon as I could get away from home, I did.

When I met Bill he wanted me to live with him. I didn't want to, just wanted to "remain friends." I've told this story before but I told Bill he "wasn't the one." He said he understood that but he wanted me to still live with him. He had no restrictions on me and he good to his word and he has never held restrictions on me. Even during Pat's past visit last week, Bill was accommodating. I can't say he was totally happy. He likes Pat and Pat likes him but he does prefer just us in our house. Actually it doesn't matter who is here, Bill prefers just me and him in our home. But he is accommodating. Always has been. That's probably why I've been with him so long.

Maybe a bit awkward this time

Since Pat and I haven't been getting together every three months, I sort of get used to just seeing him on FaceTime or Zoom. Then when he visit, the separation is much more acute. And I have to say, I think I miss him more than he misses me. Pat is even more solitary than I am. 

So this past week I've been a bit down in the dumps. Having Pat visit, spending time with him at some of the local attractions, watching movies together, eating out; I miss those activities with Pat now. I guess I'm in withdrawal. 

But there are way more important things in this world than my little petty feeling sorry for myself grievances. Just to let you all know why I haven't been blogging lately. Give me a couple more weeks and I'll be back to normal.   

Pat Has Left

Pat left early yesterday morning. 

He was here for five glorious days.

What a wonderful and welcome break from my regular routine!

Pat surprised me with his visit. 

It's not too often that I'm surprised and when I have been surprised it usually isn't good. This was a good surprise.

So, what did we do?

As usual when Pat and I get together we don't have any definite plans but everything seems to flow smoothly. 

We just enjoy each other's company.

The first night here he wanted to see the new Godzilla movie. Pat likes to go to the movie theater. Me not so much. Too many distractions, people talking, getting there, the cost, and the need for bathroom breaks without the ability to pause the movie. But when I go to the movies with Pat, I enjoy the theater because I am with him. 

How was the movie? Goofy but good special effects. Overacted, I was expecting to see Kenneth Branagh anytime appear to chew up the scenery but the Japanese actors performed quite well with the scenery chewing. 

Pat and me leaving the movie theater after see Godzilla

Did Godzille scare me? Well, no. Godzilla is still a man in a rubber suit but fun to watch stepping on buses and cars and swatting at skyscrapers. 

The rest of the week we visited many of the local attractions that the Lewes and Rehoboth Beach area has to offer. These are places I never go to on my own. 

What a wonderful week with a wonderful friend!

Thank you Pat for  you kindness and generosity.

Pat, a kind and generous man. My friend.

Week Off

Pat and Ron at the new Godzilla movie!

 

Hey folks, I'm off for a week. Pat paid me a surprise visit. He's leaving this Saturday. Things will be back to normal then.

See you next week or this weekend!

Christmas Card Time - Address Request

 Good morning folks! 

It's that time of year again, sending out Christmas cards.

Bill checking out the Christmas cards at a local shop some years ago

This year I am making a special request. I would like to send Christmas cards to those followers of my blog who regularly comment on my blog.

I so appreciate your comments that share your experiences with me in response to some of my blog postings.

Those whose addresses I am requiting are:

Woody in Ohio

Paranormal John

Jim (in Texas).

I already have Victor's address.

You guys can send your address to my e-mail as below:

ronstales@aol.com

Do me this favor guys. I want to show my appreciation to you for your regular fellowship of my blog and sharing your experiences with me. You are my friends and I want to personally express my wishes for you to have a wonderful holiday season.

Thank you!

Ron Does Turkey

 

My finished Butterball turkey breast yesterday

Longtime followers of this blog know I like turkey.

Not all the time but around "The Holidays" I do like a good slice of dry (yes, "dry") white meat turkey.

You all know we don't do holiday dinners here at Casa Tipton-Kelly. Bill doesn't have any teeth and I'm not going to cook up a big meal just for moi.

Each year I look in askance when I see those turkey dinners being served from aluminum pans to the homeless by local politicians doing their goodwill thing during "The Holidays". Mostly those people they're serving turkey with all the fixings are homeless or older poor people who have no family. Well, I do qualify in the latter category. Dare I say I'm to the only one who experiences these feelings during "The Holidays." Even some of the readers of this blog may experience similar feelings. Maybe one years I'll show up at the local feel good charity feeding station and get my turkey dinner, with all the fixings. But this year I tried to make my own turkey dinner.

I wasn't planning on making a Thanksgiving turkey. I actually stumbled into roasting a turkey. I happened to be at my local fav supermarket and I saw fresh turkeys drastically marked down. And I mean DRASTIC. The price of turkeys and all that turkey always dissuaded me from actually buying a real turkey to cook. But this time I couldn't pass up the opportunity. 

I saw a bin of fresh, not frozen turkey breasts. I'm a white meat kind of guy, no dark meat for me, thank you. I grew up only allowed to eat drumsticks and wings and backs and even the tail; my father got a real kick out of that. My father was a cruel, sadistic man who loved to humiliate me but that's another story for another time. 

The price of these turkey breasts was marked down from $30 plus to $5.00! I got a five pound turkey for $5.35! That's cheaper than a McDonald hamburger and vastly better for me. And the turkey was a Butterball. All I had to do was unwrap it and put that bird in the oven and bake a couple hours at 325 degrees.

I snatched up that turkey and brought it home. I calculated I could make at least eight meals out of this turkey, and all white meat. My father would probably turn over in his grave if he knew that.

Yesterday I read the instructions. The instructions said to "rub the outside with olive oil." I'm a butter kind of guy but olive oil it is. I found out later that was a BIG MISTAKE.

I roasted the turkey. The finished product came out great. Nicely browned (as you can see from the photo) and tasty. I cooked a little longer than recommended because I like DRY turkey meat. You can have your juicy meat, I prefer dry.  

I didn't salt or pepper the turkey because the instructions told me the Butterball was already seasoned. Well, I could have seasoned it. I like salt and pepper. Not too much mind you but just enough to give the meat a boost in flavor. I will next time. 

I didn't have much in the way of "fixings" except Stove Top Turkey Stuffing which is enough for me. I had homemade cranberry sauce that's been sitting in my refrigerator since last year (yes, since LAST YEAR). I had to throw out that cranberry sauce. Didn't taste too good even though there was no green fuzz on it. An abundance of sugar can go just so far in maintaining flavor.

The turkey meat was very tasty though. I got my annual Turkey Fix which is what I was after. 

Now came time to deconstruct the turkey and freeze the leftover in individual freezer bags for future meals. That I did quite successfully. I now have eight more meals. Pretty good for $5.35 eh?

Deconstructed turkey

Now I had this grand idea to make turkey soup out of the remaining stripped turkey carcass. After all there was still some meat on the bones of this poor sacrificial bird. Bad idea. 

This morning I took the turkey carcass and placed it in the biggest pot I have here at Casa Tipton-Kelly. 

I covered the carcass in water, turned the heat up and proceeded to boil off the remaining meat and make some turkey broth for soup. Bad idea.

It was the smell. A strange and other worldly smell.

It was the look of the water. Murkey and frothy.

I decided to give it awhile and continued to boil that turkey carcass another forty-five minutes or so. Now our whole open area of kitchen/sun room/living room was stinking pretty bad. If I kept "cooking" this turkey carcass THAT smell was going to seep into my bedroom which is right around the corner from our kitchen. 

That's it! I took the pot off the stove with the murkey frothy water and the now gray turkey carcass and tossed this whole mess out in our back yard for the local vultures. They're not as picky as I am and they haven't had a treat from me since I stopped tossing out the BJ's rotisserie chicken carcasses that I used to buy with regularity. 

Never again will I cook a turkey (or chicken) carcass. It's going to take several days for THAT smell of boiling a dead bird's bones out of this house. 

Oh and don't let me forget to tell you what a mess my oven was after roasting an olive oil smeared turkey without a covering. The instructions said "Don't cover". I didn't. I got a nicely browned turkey but I don't eat the skin anyway. What I also got was a baked on grease oven. 

Oven backing soda cleaning solution

Last night I made up my homemade solution to clean that baked on grease from my previously almost pristine oven. That solution is baking soda, Dawn dishwashing liquid and apple cider vinegar. No chemical smell of Easy Off for me, thank you.

I applied that foam last night and let it sit over night in my oven. I cleaned it out this morning. Took a long time. A.LONG.TIME. 

In the future folks I will bake my Butterball covered.

I hate cleaning ovens.

But I do like white meat turkey. Dry.

Basement Bathroom Toilet Repair Update

"Jimmy" the plumber finishing up installing the new pump for Bill's toilet.

 Good news folks, our basement bathroom toilet now works! 

We got lucky yesterday when "Jimmy" the plumber called and said he was able to get the new pump.

He came yesterday and installed it. 

It works!

Next!

Thanksgiving 2023 - A Test of My Limits

The "pan" that collects the toilet matter and pumps it up the pipe out to our septic tank. The paper towels are there to soak up the overflow when the ball didn't work. Ugh.

Well folks, we had quite a Thanksgiving day here.

As in many Thanksgiving days in the past, I assumed this one would also be quiet and peaceful.

Alas, it did start out that way. A sunny and brisk 55 degrees outside, just perfect for laying several wheelbarrows of mulch. That's the way it started.

As I was outside in our driveway shoveling my second wheelbarrow full of mulch I heard what sounded like Bill shouting inside the house.

At first I dismissed the sounds, my imagination. 

But they didn't stop. Then I thought "Maybe something happened to Bill. Maybe this is IT." 

I've been prepared for "It" ever since Bill came home from the rehab facility in March of 2021, recovering from his multiple strokes.

I put down my shovel and walk inside our house. I don't do the "movie thing" of running, besides I can't run anyway.

I hear Bill downstairs hollering "Ron!! Ron!!" in his stroke addled accent. He's in his bathroom. 

I gently go down the thirteen steps to his bathroom and am confronted with a backed up toilet bowl with fecal (shit) and toilet paper. 

UGH!

Backed up toilets, toilets "matter" up to the brim, is the main thing I hated about my hotel job. God knows I've encountered enough of them during my twenty some years of hotel front desk employment.

Bill didn't know what happened. Of course my first impulse is to blame him.......but for what?

I try to flush the toilet again and it only fills up to the brim again. Yes, some had overflowed on to my recently cleaned tile and grout floor. 

I had absolutely NO IDEA what the problem was.

Okay........I call Service Today. And yes, this was on THANKSGIVING DAY. 

Did you ever call a plumber on a holiday for service?

$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

What to do? I called anyway. Of course they were none to happy about me calling them on Thanksgiving Day but they were professional. Took awhile to get through though. I'm sure I pull someone away from their family gathering.

"Steve", who I talked to, tried to walk me through several options. Of course I couldn't find the things he was asking me to look for. 

This is the basement bathroom. The toilet works by pumping UP the toilet stuff. 

I asked him if he could do FaceTime so I could show him what I was seeing on the equipment. He couldn't do that but could receive some pictures that I sent to him. He determined that the "ball" wasn't working.

This "ball" is similar to the ball in the back of your regular toilet. Once all the toilet fecal matter builds up in the "pan" below the floor, the "ball" activate the pump. Apparently the ball wasn't working.

"Steve" then asked if I "could hold off" until Monday  or Friday to send one of his service people out. Well, not really. I politely asked if he could send someone out now. Not only was I dealing with a malfunctioning toilet but I had to deal with Bill. Anything that disrupts his routine totally confuses him. And he uses that bathroom often during the day to take a pee and an occasional small poop. Especially several times at night. I could just imagine him overflowing the toilet again while I'm trying to get some sleep. And then the mess, and smell. As it was he had already taken some poop out of the toilet and put it in the trashcan. He tried to hide it but my sniffer is infallible. Of course he thought he did something wrong, which he didn't. Poor Bill, he tries to so hard to do the right thing and not cause me any more stress. But stressed out I was.

Just think of it, there's not much worse than having an overflowing toilet on THANKSGIVING DAY. Of course what I do in these Anus Horrible Days is to tell myself "It could be a lot worse." I could be in Gaza. No running water, food, fuel and the Israeli IDF bombing the shit out of them. But I digress.

Steve said he would send someone over.  A few hours later "Isiah" arrived.  He wasn't happy but he was professional. I apologized for interrupting his Thanksgiving holiday but their company is called Service Today. I've been using them eve since we moved down here to Delaware in 2006 and they always come the same day. I have several annual service agreements with them. Plumbing, electrical, and HVAC. They're expensive (they all are expensive) but they're good and I get a 15% discount because I have a service agreement with them. Remember just recently I had a several hundred dollar bill with them to replace some parts to my heating system and I had a new filtration system installed. The filtration system is good, because I don't have those sneezing and runny nose episodes I used to have from allergies. 

Isiah (I didn't ask him to take his shoes off upon entering Casa Tipton-Kelly like I usually do, I didn't want to add insult to injury) came into our house and made the descent down the thirteen steps to Bill's bathroom. Yep, that was the problem. The ball in the pump system failed. 

Now he gave me my options. He could replace the ball but he couldn't guarantee it would work more than a week. "It could work a week or a year" he said. But if I got a NEW pump system, they could guarantee it. Oh well, WTF. I just put out another $972 last week for new brake pads and rotors on my 2010 Red Subaru Forester that only has 97,000 miles on it. 

So now the question.......how much? Isiah said he had to go out to his truck and do some calculations. He came back and the price was $2,795 and change. 

OUCH! 

Oh well, this is what I have savings for. But man oh man, the hits just keep coming this year. One big unexpected bill after another. Sure would be nice to save some money. But again, I have to remind my self I'm not trapped under rubble in Gaza or even worse, in the situation that my neighbor Harvey was in last year when his whole house burned down when his electric golf cart charger set off those propane gas tanks he had in his garage. Harvey, his daughter and two guests lost everything, barely getting out of their house before the explosions. And here I am fretting over the cost of replacing a pump for my basement toilet.

So I gave Isiah the go ahead. Then he told me, "There might be a problem when we can fix it." The supply store is closed today and will also be closed tomorrow and the next two days are the weekend. We probably can't get to it until next Monday."

Whatever, whatever; just fix it. He said they would try to get it fixed as soon as possible. And today I did get a call they they're coming out tomorrow. Actually they left a message on my iPhone because I was taking my afternoon nap.

Now the problem was to tell Bill where he could pee and poop. He could still use his bathroom but he couldn't flush the toilet. We would have to wait for "the pan" to fill up and I could manually flick on the power switch to pump the waster matter up the sewage pipe out to our twin septic tanks. Yes, in this out year of 2123 we're still using septic tanks. Not hooked up to a municipal sewage system. I have to arrange to have the septic tanks pumped out at least once a year. I try to pick cool days to have that task performed. One year I called the Clean Delaware septic tank guys on a hot and muggy summer day. Yes, you can imagine that smell as all our, uh......shit was pumped out in the 90 degree temps. I vowed never to do that again.

It took several explanations to Bill to "just don't flush the toilet when you go." Half an hour later he's asking me "What do I do?" Like I said, any deviation from our normal routine, Bill get confused. As a matter of fact, just a few minutes ago he came in here to say "goodbye" to me for the night and asked me AGAIN "What do I do?"  I said (again), "Just don't flush the toilet." God, I don't want him scooping his poop out of the toilet and putting it in the trash can. Sorry to be so graphic folks but this is my life now. All your former and present caregivers know what I'm talking doubt. Poop is a big part of caregiving. Poop is what caused me and my brothers to decide to move our mother to Brother John's house in South Carolina. At her house in Pennsylvania she had poop in her bedroom closet, under the bed and on TOP of the toilet seat (I discovered that "gem" once when I stayed there overnight. Folks, I am poop adverse. But I try to remind myself what my friend Glenn M. told me when he was caring for his late partner/husband Mike, "Ron, it's only shit." And he's right. It can be cleaned up but the smell. Oh well, that's my problem. I'm just too squishy. As I told my friend Don McK this morning on FaceTime and who is in the hospital now, "I could never be a nurse Don." Folks, I'm a glitter kind of guy. Send me a glitter Christmas card and I'm a happy camper. 

Well, I didn't plan to do a long story again but here I am. Tell you what folks, I'm ready for a long stretch of DULL AND BORING. 

The hits, they just keep coming.