Update On Bill

 

Bill with his hospice nurse this afternoon

This afternoon we had a visit from a representative from Delaware Hospice. She certified Bill continuance in the home hospice care program Bill has been in Since February. 

Bill has been in home hospice for over six months now. His blood pressure is consistently below what he recommended. When he was on home health care, his low blood pressure always triggered the home health care weekly visitors to advise him to go to the emergency room. We did that once and it solved nothing other than exhaust us from waiting around the emergency room all day and increasing both of our blood pressures. We couldn't continue that routine that's why we opted for home hospice care instead of home health care.

The goal of home health care is to keep the patient alive. The goal of home hospice care is to keep the patient comfortable.

This is what I explained to Bill again yesterday as we returned from our biweekly trip to BJ's Wholesale Club (always a big "event" for both of us here in Lower Slower Delaware). I pointed out the vehicles that were passing us and told Bill "We're all going to die. Everyone in those cars is going to die. No one gets out of this life alive. Fortunately for you you're probably going to die in the comfort of your home." 

Bill and I often have this life and death conversation although he doesn't to have it. He says his biggest fear about dying is leaving me. I've told him over and over again that I'll be just fine. Actually I won't, at least for a while but eventually I'll manage. After you've lived with someone for fifty-seven years, then one dies, that is difficult. But of course I won't be the first person who experiences this loss. 

I try to comfort Bill by telling him that when he dies he will have earned a well deserved rest. I remind him that death is probably like when he went under anesthesia, he doesn't remember going under and doesn't remember that blankness. If there is an afterlife it will be like that scene in the Robin Williams movie where he dies and wakes up in a field of flowers and realizes he's in Heaven when he hears his long departed dog romping through the flowered meadow to him. Wouldn't that be wonderful if that's what happened if we die?  Of course none of us knows what happens but it's nice to think of that scenario. But that was just a movie.

Neither Bill or I believe in the conventional Christian scare stories about Heaven and Hell. That to us is just man made threats for those in power to keep others subjugated. It is not my intention to disrespect those who have conventional religious beliefs. I've always said that is your religious beliefs gives you comfort, I'm happy for you. My only problem with some religious people is that evangelism, seeking to convert others to their beliefs. What really offends me is when a friend tells me they're "concerned about my soul" and that's why they're trying to convert me to their religious beliefs. Their arrogance is breathtaking. I tell them in the nicest way possible "You take care of your own life and I'll take care of mine." I'm slipping into a religious discussion which I don't want to get into here so I'll get back on the main track of this posting.

Bill and I have settled into a routine here. He still needs help dressing, bathing, eating and taking his medications. His blindness is a big part of the problem. But he's not in pain and knows who I am. And that folks is how we are so fortunate. 

Bill's Bedroom Baby Cam Monitor

I don't remember who came up with the idea of installing one of those baby monitors in Bill's bedroom (I think it was Pat), but I installed one on Sunday. It wasn't easy. My head hurt after spending about four hours trying to figure out how to configure the baby monitor camera with my iPhone but I got it done. I'm finding that I'm accomplishing a lot of tasks that I wouldn't even have attempted before my caregiving of Bill.

As I type this blog this morning at 7:12 AM I am monitoring Bill on my iPhone, waiting for him to get ready to get up. Today is shower day. He hates taking a shower. It's an extra effort for him. I've had to remind him it's a lot of extra effort for me because I have to undress him, all the while he's groaning and complaining, get him in the shower, wash him down, then dry him then (this is the hard part) getting him dressed again. He does feel a lot better after a shower but it is an ordeal for both of us. 

We're settling into somewhat of a routine here at home. I have all his medications lined up on the kitchen counter. He has morning medications, evening medications and bedtime medications. I have a little chart with dates and check marks to keep a records of the medications I give him. This is a full time job folks. And as of yesterday, his health aid worker informed me that I'm going to have to take his blood pressure every morning before I give him his a-fib medication. 

Our routine consists of me helping him to the bathroom three or four times a night (I get up that often myself). He can go to the bathroom himself during the day but sometimes I help him. 

First thing in the morning I put on his compression socks. He hates that. My back hates that too, it's a killer getting those socks on. Now his legs are more swollen than ever from edema. The health aid worker yesterday was concerned about that. She told Bill that he has to do more exercise with his feet while his sitting and keep his feet elevated. Of course Bill resists, as is his nature. He doesn't even want the home health aide worker coming in but I convince him that it is in our best interest. She is helpful.  I told him it was either the home health aide working visiting us or he's in a nursing home. That seems to get his attention. Bill is stubborn but with patience I can usually convince him that this is the best situation we're in now. 

After I put Bill's compression stockings on we go upstairs (yes, Bill is climbing the stairs) for breakfast. I help Bill to his recliner chair in the sunroom and to elevate his legs. Yesterday he finally figured out who to recline the chair on his own. I was doing it for him. Then I give Bill his morning medications first. Bill always has the same breakfast, oatmeal with half and half, a lot. Very watery, just the way he likes it. 

After breakfast we settle in for the rest of the day. The home health aide workers usually come in between 10 and 11 AM in the morning twice or three times a week. They only come in on the weekdays, never on the weekends. 

Yesterday when the home health aide worker came in I was making carrot ginger soup for Bill, his favorite. Mine too. The whole kitchen and sunroom caressed the aroma of that subtle, gentle pureed soup. I'm surprise the home health aide worker didn't ask what I was making. 

After the home health aide worker leaves, Bill either checks his iPad or naps in his sunroom recliner. I try to snatch a little time for myself in my home office just around the corner from the kitchen. 

Then it's lunch time. Yesterday was good with the carrot ginger soup. Then we go for our daily ride. Usually I drive up Route One to Milton and our local Food Lion, which was recently revamped. It's no Wegmans but it is a good supermarket. Good prices and I can usually get what I want.

Something interesting has happened since I began my full time job as caregiver to Bill, I've lost my sweet tooth. I just have no desire for desserts. Gone are the cakes and pies I used to make. In the process I've lost fifteen pounds. I'm down to 159 pounds now from a high of 174 pounds. What a way to lose weight huh? Well, I don't look any better. All this stress has gotten to my face, my iPhone doesn't even recognize me anymore. 

Just got back from giving Bill his biweekly shower. Oh how he moans and groans about the effort it takes to undress him, get him in the shower, lather him down, rinse him off, dry him then dress him. I reminded him that it's taking an effort on my part too (my back). But Bill did admit that he felt a "lot better" after his shower. Positive feedback, always helpful after a major effort like this. 

"Kathy", the home health aide worker just called. She'll be over between 10 and 11 this morning. Bill moans and groans about those visits too. I explained to him this is much preferable than living in a rehab facility or nursing home and having health aides check up on him. I got his attention. Bill is a little spoiled, always has been since we've been together. He just never has liked to have "company" over wherever we have lived. We have gotten into many arguments over the years because of this quirk in Bill's personality. I thought when I partnered up with someone we would have company over for dinner, travel together, etc. Was not to be. I adjusted over the  years. Perhaps that's one of the reasons I like my friendship with Pat. He likes to travel with me, have company over (entertain) and "go out" to different venues like concerts. I met Pat late in my life and began doing these things normal couples do, it's nice.

That's it for today folks, have a great day!

Monitoring Bill on my iPhone with "baby cam" - it's black and white because the room is dark

Sink Bath Day

Today was "sink bath" day.  I can no longer take showers, at least not for the foreseeable future anyway.  

I'm not a big fan of sink baths, or as we used to call them when I was in the Army, whore baths. Hey, what can I tell you? That's my frame of reference, crude as it may be.

So every third day I take a sink bath or as Pat jocularly likes to refer to them as "stink baths."  I try to bath before the stink sets in.  You know, that Old Man Musty Smell.  So far so good, I'm smelling fresh as a daisy.

Hey folks, the warm prune juice worked!  Thank goodness.  Three days without going to the bathroom . . . . I was getting so sluggish.  The prune juice kicked in about an hour after I took it.  A total of five visits to the bathroom to totally clean me out.  And I didn't have to use the portable commode once.  I just hobbled my way to my private meditation room (I have a toilet in its own special room which I LOVE).  I had nightmare visions of ending up like my roommate at the hospital who was going on SIX days without a bowel movement.  My God can you imagine?

So that's out of the way.  

I went to bed fairly early last night and slept very well.  I still can't lift my leg but I am managing getting in and out of my bed by myself without bothering Bill to life my left leg into bed.  I can even manage to put a pillow under my left leg when I'm in bed so it is somewhat elevated which gives me a great deal of relief.  Unlike right now when I'm typing this blog entry and my left leg is extended outright and very uncomfortable. 

I have some bills to pay on my computer but then I'm off this computer and back into my bed until lunchtime. 

My routine now consists rest and the limited physical therapy of walking around the house with my walker, which I'm getting pretty good at.  I can't tell if there is any difference in my leg other than some of the staples are starting it itch.  

Next week I have a follow-up appointment with my orthopedic surgeon.  I understand I won't start real physical therapy for another three weeks.  Can't come soon enough.  I really miss getting out and just taking Bill for a ride, which we often do. Not now though, my life has changed and all from one fall on the ice. How fast one's life can change.

Be well folks and I'm off here to pay some bills.

Home Health Care

Lots of paperwork from Home Health Care

Home Health Care came by this morning.

They came by to show me how to clean and dress my wound from surgery.  

I am so relieved.  Having home health care is a much better option than staying in the hospital, where as you know one gets NO rest.  Also, the hospital is full of germs.  Plus, I'm in my own home which is way more conducive to recovery (familiar surroundings,etc) than a hospital.  Generally I'm very pleased with the hospital that is caring for me but believe me, I'll opt for home health care.  MY only other option is to go to a rehab center and I definitely don't want to go to one of those.  My neighbor, who had hip replacement, spent some time in a rehab center but signed herself out and went home.  

"Kaitlyn", the young lady from Home Health Services, came by this morning and spent about two and a half hours with me and Bill.  



 She showed me how to clean my wound, which is to be done every other day. I took some short videos, for me and Bill to look at, because we will have to clean my wound this Sunday and wrap it up. Kaitlyn said someone from Home Health Services will be by next Tuesday and Thursday and the following Tuesday and Thursday to clean and dress my wound. While she was cleaning my wound this morning she counted the number of staples I have in my incision.  How many do you think?  I can't stand to look at them but she counted them and said I had twenty five staples.  Nice job Ron.

Preparation for cleaning and dressing the wound

So how are you doing now Ron a few days after surgery?  

Well, I still haven't pooped (surgery was on Tuesday).  One of the wonderful side effects of pain killers is that they constipate you.  I am constipated of course but I have stopped taking the pain killers.  My pain level is down to a 2 or 3 (sometimes 4) and I can tolerate that.  It's just when it gets up to 7 or 8 I reach for the pills. Kaitlyn advised me to drink a glass of warm prune juice to get my bowels moving again.  Lovely subject for a family blog huh?  Well you know me folks, I generally don't gloss over.  Not at least where my bowels are concerned.  I like to go every day, sometimes more than once.  

I just got up from a very refreshing nap.  Activities like this morning tend to drain me but Kaitlyn said it was important that I keep active around the house, keep the blood flowing. Even as I sit here at this computer desk with my left leg splayed out, it's good. One thing, I'm getting around good on my walker.  But I am totally dependent on Bill for my food shopping. I can get my medication delivered to me, another fine service by the very aware medical community down here in Lower Slower.  No hobbling to the pharmacy and waiting and waiting for my number to be called. 

So here we are at Friday night folks.  I won't be going out to the clubs tonight moonwalking.  After dinner ("eat lots of protein", Kaitlyn advises me, "helps to heal faster"), I'll settle in for a movie night at the Tipton Cinema. That's what I usually do on weekends anyway.

One thing I'm really missing folks, besides my mobility (which I miss A LOT) is going to work.  I may only work two days a week but I do so like going to work and being active.  This couch potato lifestyle just isn't me.

Stay tuned folks, the saga continues.  Today was a good day, for a Friday the 13th.