Ron Does You Tube Video

Hey folks!  I haven't done this too often.  Here is a You Tube video I made this morning of me talking to my longtime friend Lar about the time he fainted at a fancy dancy restaurant where he was dining with his wife.  Apparently (so he says) he took "too much medication" (have we heard THIS before?) and fainted on the way to the Little Boys' Room.  He woke up a few minutes later stretched out on the floor with his pants undone.  What was that all about?  I rarely miss a chance to tease him about it.


I had a similar experience when I was in the Army.  I was watching a first aid training film with about sixty of my fellow soldiers in the dayroom of Ft. George G. Meade, Maryland back in 1962.  They told us that the blood and guts would be simulated in the training film.  Still, I was nervous with the thought of having to watch a "blood and guts" movie.  I'm one of those people who faints at the sight of blood.  One might question then why was I in the Army?  Well, I made sure I had an MOS that didn't include shooting somebody or getting shot at.  I guess you could say in was in one of the Pussy Battalions at Ft. Meade, also known as the Army Security Agency (NSA - intelligence).  


So, we all get seated and the film begins.  The first scene is of a squad patrolling an open meadow with a tree line in the distance.  There is a crack of rifle shots through the air!  Men are down!  I hear the rushing sound of wheat stalks against the cameraman's legs as he rushes through the wheat field to the wounded soldiers.  The cameraman arrives at the downed, wounded solder and zooms in on his bloody leg.  Another soldier rips the green camouflage pant leg of the solder exposing a bloody, pulsating wound.  The next thing I remember I'm waking up looking at the blue sky in the courtyard of the barracks...............with the top of my pants undone!  What was all that about?  


So, you see my friend Lar and I have had similar experiences.  I still don't understand what the deal is with undoing the top of the pants.  Before anyone does that to me I think we should have at least take me to dinner.

Mortified

This morning I arose from my slumber at about 7 AM. As I sleepily stumbled into the kitchen, my partner tells me “The Inn called.” I thought “who isn’t coming in today?” I work two days a week (Monday and Thursday nights) and every other weekend, once during the day and once during the evening, in order to give the two fulltime front desk clerks at least one weekend a month off. Sometimes I’m called in on short notice to fill in for one of the other front desk clerks due to illness or another different emergency. This morning I assumed I got the call to come in and fill in for someone. I called my voice mail. The owner of the Inn left me the message “Where are you?” Quickly, I look to my calendar. Yep! I was due in today! How did that happen? I thought I had a fail safe method for recording the times I was due in for work. I checked the copy of the schedule the manager gives me. I keep that on top of my bedroom bureau where I conduct almost all of my business. There it was in black and white. “Ron – Sunday morning, May 18th". Quickly, I pick up the phone and called the owner. I told him it was my mistake and that I would be in as soon as I got dressed. He told me the manager was covering for me until I got in. Now I’m really embarrassed. The manager’s wife recently had a baby and this was the first week home for mother and child and husband. Ron, the OLD MAN, changed those plans today. Faster than Clark Kent changed into his Superman costume, I was dressed and ready to shoot out the door. I didn’t have breakfast, didn’t do my morning exercises, nor did I take my fiber medicine. I will be off track all day, that’s for sure. Route 1 traffic was light. The morning mist was lifting from New Road. I pull into the parking lot of the Inn. I gather myself and go around to the front door. Walking through the lobby and down the corridor to the front desk I see the owner and the manager waiting for me with bemused looks on their faces. This is something they’ve never seen before. This is something I’ve never done before. In all my 60 plus years of work, I have never missed a schedule. Well, there are always Firsts. This was a very humbling experience for me. Now I will be oh so more tolerant of anyone else I know who oversleeps or misses the schedule completely as I did today. I accepted all responsibility and told them I just missed it. I had even brought in my wall calendar and schedule to show them I had not marked the shift on my calendar. No excuse. Later, as I was talking to the head housekeeper, she told me that whenever she is late her whole day is not right. That was the way I felt all day, off track. To put it simply, I was mortified.