The Colonoscopy Diet

Lunch - six ounces clear chicken broth (Swanson)

Hey folks.  Want a sure fire diet?  Try the Colonoscopy Diet.  Guaranteed to drop 2 to 3 pounds of of body weight in ONE DAY!  I've been trying (without much success) to drop another 2 to 3 pounds (to 160) for two months now.  I lost two pounds already!  So if you want to lose weight (but don't want a life) try this diet:


I just had my lunch of 6 ounces of clear chicken broth.  Oh man was that delicious!  Then, guess what I had for dessert?  A lime Jello.  WOW!  I am stuffed.

Dessert - four ounces lime Jello (fat free) YUM!

At two o'clock (a little less than an hour from now) I mix my first bottle of vile foul tasting "Suprep Bowel Prep Kit liquid with 8 ounces of water and SWALLOW IT.  Then within the next hour I have to take two more 8 ounces of water to dilute the vile foul tasting liquid.  Of course this is right at my nap time of 2 o'clock but that is of minor consideration today.


I repeat this whole process at 6 pm tonight.  I figure by the time I'm watching "Dancing With the Stars"tonight I'll be doing my own 'dancing' to the loo. 


Tomorrow at 10 a.m.  That is when I my rear nether regions get violated examined with a long, rubber, flexible instrument by a doctor in Lewes.  This procedure is called a colonoscopy.  This procedure may save my life.  The inconvenience and humiliation is well worth it.  Still, I'll be glad when this is all over with and I can go back to normal or what passes for 'normal' around these parts.  


Half an hour to go until I drink the Suprep Bowel Prep Kit.  Oh I can't wait!

Appetizing