The Day After

Pooped Santa

Ah yes, "The Day After."  And we begin the countdown to the number of shopping days until Christmas . . . next year.  

Well folks, for me personally?  I'm relieved that all this Christmas extravaganza is done.  While I like some parts of Christmas, the gross and obscene over commercialization of Christmas is such a turn off for me.  Each year the Christmas ads seem to begin even earlier.  And now I notice that the Christmas ads continue even AFTER Christmas day.  When I turned on the TV this morning the first thing is saw was one of those "HO! HO! HO!" Santa ads.  For Godsakes advertisers, will you give us a break?  I turned the TV off. Only to get a phone call on my cell phone with a recorded message saying "Congratulations! You won!"  Yeah, right.  I'll add that to my BIGGEST LIES EVER list?  By the way, want to read that list?  I used to go by the THREE BIGGEST LIES which were:

1. The check is in the mail
2. I gave at the office
3. You've won!

By the way, I'm veering of the subject of my "The Day After."  Oh well, this is going to be fund.  More BIGGEST LIES

1. All you have to do is relax, this won't hurt
2. Of course I'll respect you in the morning
3. I promise, I won't tell anyone

Like those?  Man oh man, I have MORE:

1. It's not you, it's me
2. But officer, I only had two beers
3. I'm late because the alarm didn't go off

I'm on a roll folks. I'm actually smiling as I pull these Biggest Lies out of my . . . well, you know what:

1. This is my first time
2. One size fits all
3. Size doesn't matter

And here are some of my personal favorites (from experience)

1. There will be no changes after the merger
2. I'm from the government, I'm here to help you
3. You can trust me

I'm still rolling folks, still on a roll:

1. It's delicious but I can't eat another bite
2. It's only a cold sore
3. I'm in my late thirties

Finally, I have to end this madness.  Talk about veering off course during a blog posting.  This was supposed to be all about my Day After.  By the way, I called my insurance company about my cracked window shield.  Seems I have a $500 deductible and they estimate the cost will be $343 so this is on me.  I called Safelite and they will be out here Monday.  Stay tuned for the excitement.  In the meantime I leave you with three more BIGGEST LIES IN THE WORLD (and the list keeps expanding):

1. I used to be a model
2. I never paid for it and never will (uh huh)
3. You don't look a day over 40

Have a great Day After folks!