Okay folks, don't say I didn't warn you. I'm going to bitch about the Olympics in this blog posting. If you are among the millions who slavishly follow the "U.S.A.! U.S.A!" chants for the athletes on the jingoistic, orgasmic, delayed and one side slanted programming for U.S.A. athletes only on NBC (and its sister cable station MSNBC), you all better stop reading this blog posting now because you're going to get pissed off. "How dare he criticize our 'heroes'!"
If you're among those touchy folks who brook no criticism of anything "U.S.A.!", then venture no further in reading this blog. I don't kiss ass.
I wasn't going to say anything more about the Olympics. I was going to wait it out, with only two more days to go before this obscenely expensive and colossal waste of time ends on Saturday night but I just can't hold myself back, especially after seeing that sucker fish mouthed doofus Michael Phelps "interview" on Piers Morgan a few nights ago. Now come one folks, isn't that fish-man child just about the most arrogant, ignorant and self asorbed ass-hat you've ever seen interviewed on TV? There he is with his 6'3" inch enlongated torso with short legs (why he swims so well, he was born with a fish body) drapped out on his interview chair with Piers. Michael has his legs folded so one foot is in the air constantly wiggling, distracting from the "umms," and "ahs" that punctuate every second or third word, doing the "slow blink" (a sure sign of someone who is totally into himself) as he laconically answers Piers "probing" questions like "How does it feel to win all those medals?" Good questions Piers! That's why they pay you the big bucks!
So what does Michael fish-face man-child answer? "Um, um.....ummmm...it feels....you know....um....good" (giggle, giggle). By the way, Michael, he of the deep booming basso voice now (whatever happen to his voice from the "young man" voice of four years ago? Too many bong hits perhaps?) giggles like a teenage girl after almost every answer. In fact I think he giggled after every answer, while still twitching that size 15 foot that he had propped up on his knee during the WHOLE INTERVIEW. Hey Michael! How about sitting up in the chair and put both feet on the floor? Just a suggestion. By the way, what is THAT THING on his bottom lip? A piercing or just a little touch of herpes?
Enough about Phelps. He and his kind annoy me so much. Big hero. What does he do for a living? Swim for bucks? How about a REAL JOB Michael? So you were born with a fish body and provided a pool to swim in for years. Then you get all those medals in the China Olympics which resulted in millions of dollars in endorsement deals which you promptly blew (both literally and figuratively) in a bong. Wheaties had your puss on all their cereal boxes which they then had to destroy because you were no longer a "role model" (do you think?) Selfish, self asorbed ass-hats like Phelps annoy me to no end. Oh I know, I know. "But he's worked SO HARD to get where he is." HE SWIMS ALL DAY! Two more days and hopefully all this slavish worship of the "hero" Michael goes away.
Can't happen soon enough.
So tell us what you REALLY think Ron.
