Unrepressed Rants on a Sunday Morn

Me and Pat (with out now lost out of fashion greasy hats) on Hollywood Boulevard with the Chateau Marmont in the background, last January and our unfashionable regular legged jeans - we were so gauche. But we will be back, albeit with new hats but the same unfashionable (and comfortable) jeans.

This morning I was trying to think "What do I write about in my blog today?"

Several subject matter has been trolling through my brain the past few weeks.  One thing that's been really bugging me is the ever increasing ads in the magazines I subscribe too.  I've already let my subscriptions to National Enquirer and Globe run out.  For as much as I pay (over $100 a year for each one) for those tabloid rags, I'm hardly getting my money's worth because there is little if any real gossip (I am a gossip monger).  Mostly their subject matter is Obama is gay, Obama is a womanizer (how can he be both?),

Obama isn't an American (heard that before), Obama is a secret Muslim (heard that one too before) - but you get the gist of it.  Also the other subject matter is that Camilla hates Queen Elizabeth

and is plotting against her to gain the crown for herself or variants thereof of that same subject matter.  

Especially the National Enquirer, where the ads kept creeping in through the back pages.  And Mike Walker, their gossip columnist?  He's more concerned with making up words like "spy witness" that one almost needs a translator to read his non-gossip crap.  No more, I let both subscriptions run out.

Then there is Vanity Fair.  I used to like that magazine because of its well written and researched articles. Even though I had to plow through slick pages and pages of perfume ads (usually while I'm eating, smelling magazine page perfume isn't a good mix), I tolerated that idiocy. But lately, the ads have increased and the quality of their articles have decreased.  Ever read an article, about people you don't know, and the article makes no sense.  Vanity Fair must been hiring recent college graduates who, of course, don't know how to write since many of them partied and cheated their way through college and are now among the cool set with their skinny legged jeans

Yeah, right. This looks "good." The Fashionistas has dictated this IS THE FASHION. 

(and, BTW, what's THAT all about?  Looks like crap on guys who have a horrible shape.  Doesn't even look good on guys with a good shape).  

This past week I received my Vanity Fair and guess who was on the cover?  Mark Zuckerberg. 

Major Gag.

Here we go, the deification of Mark Zuckerberg.

WTF?  Why in the world do I want to read ANYTHING about Mark Zuckerberg?  What's next? A retrospective on Bill Gates? 


And then, to top everything else off, not only is this issue of Vanity Fair stuffed with even more ads, I get a SEPARATE magazine of Ralph Lipshitz Lauren ads.  Big whoop!

Okay folks, this blog is becoming a Sunday Morning Rant Of Things That Are Bothering Me.

One more rant.  Notice how all the TV commercials for movies always feature someone SCREAMING?  And loud banging noises?  There's a movie about Mt. Everest.  BANG! BANG! BANG! and HOLLERING!  Loud hollering.

Then there's a movie about Bobby Fischer, the chess champion of a Previous Life. The despicable Toby Maguire

Okay, we got it. He can holler but can he act?

(and believe me folks, Toby is despicable, read the Vanity Fair article of a few years ago about him and his gambling and how he treats his underlings - like scum) plays Bobby Fischer.  And yes, lots of BANGING and HOLLERING in this trailer too.  




Is that what acting is about these days?  Hollering?

Last night I watched one of the current "in" movies by the Canadian director David Cronenberg called "Maps to the Stars."

 It was supposed to be a satire on Hollywood.    Well, if you want to see Oscar winner Julianne Moore (who I like by the way) sitting on the toilet, shitting and farting 

while talking to her murderous, crazy personal assistant, and, yes, wiping her ass - then this is the movie for you.  Rotten Tomatoes says:

"Narratively unwieldy and totally jumbled, Maps to the Stars still has enough bite to satisfy David Cronenberg fans in need of a cooly acidic fix"

You think?  Well, if you're the type that goes to one of those "cool" Vanity Fair get togethers, then this IS the film for you.  For me, I'm just trying to imagine one of my favorite film actresses like Olivia De Havilland sitting on a toiled, farting while delivering her lines.  

A satirical take on Hollywood?  Well, I guess.  I for one greatly enjoyed the exterior shots of Los Angeles, where I saw many of the same locations that Pat and I trod upon when we visited Los Angeles last January and will return again this January.  I love the palm trees but have absolutely no desire to see a famous Oscar winning actress sitting on a toilet taking a dump.

Ah, now I feel so much better now that I've gotten these rants out in the open.

Have a great day!!!!

Gossip Magazines

Oh yes, I'm one of those people who read the supermarket gossip trash rags. Guilty as charged.  I've been doing reading them for years.  

In fact, I'm so bad I subscribe to these totally useless magazines.  Only two though:

The National Enquirer 
Globe

Both are published by the same publisher. Both out of Florida.  Both total trash.  


Now we all love good gossip.  Admit it, you do too even though some of you won't admit it.  There was a time perhaps that these magazines actually provided good gossip.  However, that's not the case now.  Ever try to read NE's Mike Walker?  He's almost unreadable with his cutsie poo spelling of English language words like "spy witness" and getting in a tizzy about who is gay and who is not (aren't we over the "gay" thing yet for being legitimate gossip)?

These magazines stopped producing good gossip years ago. Now they specialize in appealing to the worst of the Obama haters by saying he is:

Gay
A womanizer
A Muslim
A racist
A Kenyan

Almost every other issue has him and Michelle on the verge of separating.  Has him flirting with other women or having affairs with them.  Then in some issue they refer to his gay past.  Hey National Enquirer!  Make up your mind.  Either Obama is a womanizer or he's gay . . . can't be both.  We get it, you're appealing to your lowest denominator audience.

Then there are the issues where Camilla (Prince Charles' wife) hates:

The Queen
Kate
William
Prince Charles
Mickey Mouse 

I made the last one up.  But wait, the NE will probably make that charge too.

Every issue I plow through hoping for a bit of true, juicy gossip but the most you'll get out these rags is who is having lunch with who (that's gossip?)  Or outright lies.  Apparently the English Royalty and President Obama are fair game and unlikely to sue these sorry ass magazines unlike celebrities who will sue.

Truth be told I get some of my best (and juiciest) gossip from a favorite blogger of mine, Bob of "I Should Be Laughing".  And he's free!

What really did me in with these magazines and why I'm letting my subscription run out is now the ads are creeping in.  At one time the NE's last two pages were ads.  Now it's the last nine pages.  Before you know it, the ads will take over like they've taken over my Vanity Fair magazine.  And I'm letting that subscription run out too.  

For all the money they charge for their subscription there was an unwritten understanding that the mag wouldn't be ad choked but greed sometimes knows no bounds.  

Next up is my consideration for canceling my cable subscription.  Ads are taking over there too.  Whatever happened to the proposition when pay TV first came into being?  Remember what they promised?


You pay for TV and you won't have to see the ads. 

Ha!  I can go turn on my TV now and what usually comes up first?  You're right, ads.  

What is it that our former illustrious president said?  

The Best Commercial This Year

All right, color me weird. I LOVE THIS COMMERCIAL!

It has everything:

Sex

Production Values

Sex

Art

Sex

I like it when a business pokes fun at itself while at the same time skewering the worst of Madison Avenue. How many times have we seen airhead models in endlessly nauseating ads on our TV station gyrating ridiculously like the models in this ad. I especially like that none of the models are congenitally attractive.

There are a lot of messages in this ad. Whomever or whoever made this ad are geniuses!

My fantasy, I want to be in one of these ads. Why not?