Another Time, Another Place -1978

This is a video that I had secretly set up of me visiting one weekend with my friends Bob McCamley and Ed Cage. Both Bob and Ed have passed on many years ago. Even Bob's black Lab Bonnie, who you can see in this video, has passed. Only I have survived. In not too many years I will be joining them in Heaven. Heaven, where Bob and Ed (just friends, not lovers) are living now. 

Bob was my best friend since my Army days (March of 1960). I've know Ed since my high school days 1957. I miss their friendship. Oh how often during the ten or more years since they have died I wish I could have shared some of my experiences with them. They left this earthly live but I have continued to live and learn. 

These days I have two new best friends. Glenn and Pat. Both met via this blog. 

One day all of us will be together. 

I wrote this blog today because I wanted to refresh my day with pleasant memories from my past. I wanted to take a break from the present political climate in our country. 

Boatslip Tea Dance Provincetown, Mass

In my Previous Life, I used to vacation every summer at that premier gay resort, Provincetown, Massachusetts.

Provincetown from The Monument (my photo) 1974

The first time I visited Provincetown was in 1974 with my friend Bob Mc.  This is the photo we posed for at an Old Time Photo place.  

Bob and me - Faux Cowboys 1974

Bob and I didn't know much about Provincetown other than it was a "gay" vacation resort.  That first week we spent there we didn't know where to go.  We actually stayed at a motel on the outskirts

of town after spending one night at a place called "The Ranch" which was anything but a ranch.  We were just too butch to stay there.

Bob soon met a guy from Canada named Brian and he spent the week with him.  I was on my own, a precursor to my subsequent visits to Provincetown.  

I would walk down Commercial Street, the unoriginal name of the main drag (no pun intended) of Provincetown.  One place I walked by  in the afternoon as I returned from Herring Cove was the Boatslip, which was a hotel right on the bay.  I would hear a "thump! thump!" behind drawn canvas curtains. I assumed it was a private party and as you all know, Ron is never invited to private gay parties, a pattern which continues to this day because I continue never to be invited to gay parties (hear that Rehoboth Beach and Camp Rehoboth?)  But I digress.  

Me (tall and skinny on right) with my friends Gino and Bob on Commercial Street

I spent my first week in Provincetown at Herring Cove, the beach outside of town.  I would return in the late afternoon, always passing the Boatslip and the "thump! thump!"  Sometimes I would meet my friend Bob and his boyfriend Brian for dinner but mostly I ate by myself.  One might say I wasted my first visit to Provincetown but I didn't know that until I returned home to Philadelphia.

Me at my room at the Crown and Anchor overlooking Provincetown Bay

When I returned home to Philadelphia and related my vacation to the Gay Disneyland to my gay friends they asked me "You didn't go to the Tea Dance at the Boatslip?"  I said "What is a Tea Dance?"   Well, needless to say they quickly informed me what I was missing.  Folks, I didn't make that mistake the next year when I visited P-town.  And the next year, and the following year and until 1986 which was my last year I visited Provincetown.  By then I was spending four weeks in Provincetown.  I was a "regular" at the Tea Dance.  

Just tonight I thought I would check You Tube to see if there was any videos of the Tea Dance.  Viola!  You know what folks?  Nothing has changed!  WOW!  Everything is as I remembered it.  Even the pool where I used to hang out.  WOW!  Oh how I miss the Tea Dance. How I miss Provincetown.  

Bill didn't like Provincetown.  He only went with me once and stayed the whole time at the semi-straight Best Western.  He never came out of his room except to go on the balcony.

Oh, he did go out once with me in a boat.  He wasn't happy as both photos show.  This is why Bill never went with me to Provincetown again. 

When I arrived in Provincetown by plane the first thing I would do was rent a bicycle.  

Me at the Provincetown Airport

During the week I would ride that bicycle to do my errands like going to the grocery store and ride to Herring Cove, which was outside the main part of town.  I also used to ride the National Seashore Bike Trail which was a great bike trail.

Me on the bicycle trail

In future visits I almost always stayed at Angel's Landing on Commercial Street.  Angela Calomoris was the owner and operator.  I stayed at her place so often one year she offered me a job to manage her apartment complex.  I was flattered but turned had to turn her down.  

Do I look like a vacation bank manager or a potential gay resort apartment manager?

After all, I had my banking career. Ironically, my last vacation in Provincetown was in 1986 for four weeks.  When I returned to my job at Mellon Bank in Philadelphia I was informed I was job eliminated. Thus ended my summer sojourns to the Gay Disneyland.

Angels' Landing - where I stayed in Provincetown - 1979

However, there were a few times I took a boyfriend (or two). Like me and Brad below on a chilly, wine imbibed boat ride. Jolly good fun!

Brad and I after a couple wines - happy fellas!

The water was always cold but I always took at least one dip even though I couldn't breath while I was in the 50 degree water.

Yes, I can swim - my "Michael Phelps Backstroke"

Much of my time in Provincetown was spent at Herring Cove working on my tan for which I am paying the price for now (regular visits to my dermatologist).  

Me at Herring Cove, Provincetown, Mass

When I arrived in Provincetown, I always rented a bicycle for a week. 

The below picture is of me at the pool at the Boatslip.  Back in the 70's when I was a regular, digital cameras and iPhones weren't available. I had just a regular SLR camera folks.  And since I was usually alone, I had to ask a stranger to take my picture.  This isn't one of my best photos but it is the only one I can find of me at the Boatslip.

Me at the Boatslip pool - 1986

I've often thought of returning to Provincetown.  Of course I wouldn't dare show my body like this at my now age of 71 years.  Are you kidding?  But I would like to go to the dance and listen to that "thump! thump!"  Folks, some of the best times of my life.  I am so glad that I was there during the Fabulous Seventies. 

Herring Cove, Mass

Looking at this You Tube video of the Tea Dance at the Boatslip brought back many fond memories.   

Outdoor Cafe Commercial Street Provincetown, Mass 1979

And folks, this is THE SONG that I will always associate with my many summers in Provincetown and the carefree, good times I had, Kelly Marie and "Feels Like I'm In Love."  When this song used to come on at the Tea Dance everyone would scream and rush to the dance floor.  It was Heaven folks, Heaven.

The Puritans Must Be Rolling Over In Their Graves

John Winthrop, first governor of Massachusetts Bay colony

I woke up this morning feeling great!  So this is what freedom feels like?  I love it!

The last time I felt this free and equal was back in 1974 on an early July summer evening as my friend Bob Mc. and I rolled down Commercial Street in Provincetown, Massachusetts.  This was the first time we had ever been in Massachusetts and also the first time we were in a gay resort.  

Ariel view Provincetown, Mass 1974

What struck us first was how crowded the town was.  Solid masses of people on the sidewalks and in the road. At first we were mildly irritated that people were walking in the road and not jumping aside to make way for our vehicle.  Then we noticed something we had never in our lives seen before, same sex couples walking down the street (and in the road) together, many holding hands, some kissing and just being together.  What really astounded us was that the straight people seemed to take no notice.  There were no faces twisted in disgust at the sight of two men or two women walking together, CLOSELY.  

Commercial Street, Provincetown, Mass - 1974

Bob and I were thrown off balance by this new dynamic.  Prior to this steamy, July evening in 1974, in our previous life we were conditioned to expect different responses from straight folks when they say gay folks expressing fondness and closeness  in public.  Then we both had this very strange feeling.  We couldn't quite identify it because we had never felt it before.  Well, actually I did feel something like it before and that was the time I went into my first gay bar in Clairton, PA and saw men dancing with men.  But this was different.  This was in public and there were straight people around. 

Me in Provincetown (working on my skin cancer) - 1976

We quickly adjusted our attitude towards the crowds overflowing in the street thus slowing us down to our destination which was a gay bed and breakfast called "The Ranch" further on down Commercial Street.  Funny thing, we thought we were going to a dude ranch and we were dressed accordingly.  HA!  We found out differently when we arrived at "The Ranch."  

But that is another whole story which deserves its own blog post.  Back to the program in progress.

When we got to "The Ranch" we discussed this new "feeling" that we both experienced.  It wasn't too long until we both came to the realization that this "feeling" was freedom.  Yes folks, FREEDOM! God was that ever a great feeling.   

Outdoor cafe dining in Provincetown - 1976

For the next week we were in Provincetown we bathed and indulged ourselves in this new "thing" called freedom.  

"Tea Dance" at the Boat Slip in Provincetown, Mass (oh I spent many an afternoon here getting sloshed dancing)

Then it came time to leave and return to home which for me was center city Philadelphia.  It wasn't too long before I had to make an attitude readjustment.  Sure, I lived in center city Philadelphia which housed a large gay population. That was one reason I moved to center city Philly. But I quickly realized that even though there were many gay men and women in center city, that feeling of "Freedom" was gone.  Oh sure, a same sex couple could try walking down Spruce Street holding hands.  At best such a public display of affection would guarantee many disapproving looks from the straight people passing you on the street.  At the worst you would have a homophobic slur thrown at you like "Look at the fags!" Or you could even have what I had happen to me once, chased down the street to a friend's apartment to escape a gang of baseball bat wielding South Philly toughs who periodically on Saturday nights would drink enough beer to get the courage to go to "Philly and bash some fags."  Yes, I was chased simply because I was walking down Spruce Street......by myself.  Yes folks, even though I had fooled myself by thinking I was living The Life in center city Philly I didn't know what real freedom was like until that 1974 summer evening in Provincetown, Mass.

Jay (guy who reads my blog and sent me some of his Provincetown pictures)  feeling no pain at the Tea Dance

Yesterday I had that feeling again.  I was sitting at my computer, banging out my latest blog titled "Same Sex Ruling Due Today."  To be honest with you I didn't expect anything positive, especially because of the Supreme Court's ruling the previous day which put a dagger in the heart of the 1964 Voting Rights Bill.  Oh no, I was expecting the worse.  Then while I was typing with my TV on in the background I heard THE NEWS!  The Supreme Court declared DOMA, the "Defense of Marriage Ace" unconstitutional!  Unbelievable!  I could not believe it.  DOMA, the only time in our nation's history that Congress passed and the president signed a bill legalizing discrimination against a class of its citizens.  DOMA was no longer valid.  This meant that anyone married in those state that have legal same sex marriages would be entitled to the dignity and respect now routinely accorded to straight couples, including all the Federal protections and tax benefits.  Then that feeling swept over me like Niagara Falls.

Me at Niagara Falls 1967 - back in the bad old closeted days

 Oh my.  I had forgotten what it felt like.  Folks, it feels good!

Which brings to my mind, I wonder if John Winthrop, the first governor of the Massachusetts Bay Colony and Puritan would feel about yesterday's Supreme Court ruling knocking down DOMA.  You all know John Winthrop don't you?  He left England with his little band of religious zealots called "The Puritans" to find....get ready for it......religious freedom.  Of course his brand of religious freedom was you either practiced his religion or you were ostracized and punished.  Sound familiar?  Ostracized and punished.  Hmmmm.  Yes folks, the irony is that one of the first leaders to come to this country for freedom probably would not approve of yesterday's Supreme Court ruling.  Winthrop and his fellow Puritans must be rolling (twirling is probably more accurate) over in their graves today.  

Winthrop and his fellow intolerant Puritans (nice drag).  Justice Scalia would feel right at home.

Boys in the Band Redux

I know I've posted this clip from the movie "The Boys in the Band" before but I have the urge to post it again.  

I remember the first time I saw this movie.  It was in 1970.  I saw it with Bill at the Goldman Theater in center city Philadelphia.  Most of you reading this blog posting either weren't alive at this time or if you were alive, weren't aware of the gay sub culture.  Oh but we (Bill and I and our friends) were.  

In 1970 Bill and I had been together for six years.  We went to the Westbury which was gay bar on the corner of 15th and Spruce Streets in Philadelphia almost every Saturday night.  We usually met up with our coterie of gay friends Phil, Ron (yes, another "Ron"), Ed and others.  

Me, my friend Ron H. and Phil D - 1965 - ready to "hit the bars" on a Saturday night - notice we dress up - my friend Ron was the "Harold" of our group - sad to say he is also gone now

Back in the 70's the gay subculture was very "sub", believe me.  The Westbury bar and other gay bars  were subject to periodic raids.  Remember this film (and play) was made before the Stonewall Riots that said "Enough!"  

Bill and I were hesitant to see this film although we wanted to see it very bad.  Looking back on our reasons for being reluctant to see this film seems silly now but at that time we were actually afraid that the police would raid the whole theater and arrest us all.  And of course back in Those Days when a gay man was arrested they always put it in the newspaper so your employer would discover your "perversion" and promptly fire  you from your job.  Oh yes, those things happened before Stonewall, believe me.  

The Goldman theater was right across the street form the bank where I worked.  Bill worked for RCA (remember that company?)  Even though we were taking a risk we decided to see the movie anyway.  I remember walking into the theater with butterflies in my stomach.

As we walked down the sumptuously carpeted theater aisles we tentatively looked around to see if there was anyone else we knew in the theater.  Much to our surprise there appeared to be a greater number of straight people (men and women couples) in the theater.  Of course there were the Usual Suspects, gay male couples dressed for the occasion.  Back in those days gay men dressed up to go out. 

We didn't see any police.  We seated ourselves and waited for the theater lights to go down.  

In a short time the lights went down and the movie started.  "This is it!" we thought.  You know I can't remember the theme music of "The Boys in the Band" but I do remember the opening scene of Emory (Cliff Gorman) swishing walking down the New York street with his two pink poodles.  Well, no one in our circle of gay friends had pink poodles but we did have swishy friends.  As a matter of fact, our biggest revelation of the whole movie was just how accurate it was in the depiction of the various gay characters.  It was mind blowing (no pun intended).  

We settled down and watched this movie about all the different characterizations of gay men and their degrees of self-hate, doubt, and general joie de vivre.  I do not exaggerate, I cannot tell you how liberated we felt watching a movie about our "friends."  We knew gay men like those up on the screen!  We WERE those gay men.  Yes, we even used the now discarded jargon of "numbers" (referring to "tricks") and "Mary", which was an affectionate term for friends.  Can you believe it? 

My friends Ed, me and Ron H. at my 24th birthday dinner at our Pennsauken, NJ apartment - 1964

It goes without saying we were enthralled watching the whole movie which was a metaphor for what gay life was like for us and our friends pre-Stonewall.  

Alas, those days are gone now as is most of the cast of this movie.  Sadly all of the gay actors have died of AIDS related causes.  Only the straight actors (Peter White "Alan" and Laurence Luckenbill "Hank") are alive today.  But this movie, a ground breaking event in the evolution of gay awareness in the main societal culture of this country, lives on.  

Every now and then I need my "Boys in the Band" fix.  There is absolutely no movie entrance that surpasses Harold's Entrance.  None.  

This blog posting is for those of you who remember what it was like BS (before Stonewall). It was a whole different world folks.

We have progressed but we still have a long way to go.  Back in 197 when Bill and I saw this movie the very idea that we could ever get legally married never entered our mind.  After watching this clip I wonder what Harold would have to say.

My friend Ron, me and Phil on River Drive in Philadelphia for a "Sunday Afternoon Cruise" - 1965

I Got My Mind Made Up

I'm really getting in the mood for the Spotacular! Yesterday I worked just about all day on compiling a playlist for the blogger get together that is going to take place March 23rd in Lewes, Delaware. Dr. Spo and Someone, two of my favorite bloggers are flying to Delaware to meet a gaggle of us East Coast bloggers. The caterer is in place, naughty gifts are wrapped and ready to go, and attitudes are adjusted to a great time. Do join us!

Pulling out my old CD's brings back memories of the Seventies and those wonderful years of my carefree youth (interspersed with my banking job of course).  Oh I did have a good time.  I didn't miss much, that's for sure.  

For all of you who failed to take advantage of those wonderful, years oh I do feel sorry for you.  As for me I took FULL ADVANTAGE.  

I am looking forward to the Blogger-thon later on this month.  I'll relieve some of those wonderful memories and, perhaps create a few new ones.