Marlene

Marlene Alwood-Ristine
1941 - 2012

Once upon a time, fifty-four years ago actually, I was serving on my high school yearbook staff.  Ever since I was in high school, I looked forward to working on my yearbook.  When the opportunity came, I volunteered for the yearbook staff.  One of the main reasons I volunteered was even back in those prehistoric times I loved to take pictures have pictures taken.  I wanted to be involved in any pictures taken for our class yearbook.

Downingtown High School Yearbook Staff - 1959
That's me in the back on the left in the white shirt
Marlene is two down in the front

One of our assignments was to have a random set of photos taken for the yearbook showing different classes.  On the particular day I was given this long sought after assignment, I was pared with probably the most beautiful girl in our class, Marlene Alwood.  Gay, straight or in between, I don't know of anyone who would NOT be intimidated working with The Most Beautiful Girl In The Class.  And of course I was.

Me and Marlene in the Driver's Ed car - and me driving..watch out!

During my high school days I wasn't the outgoing, gregarious, back slapping personality that I am today.(which I am aren't I?)   Actually, during my high school days I was quite the dork, which I'm not ashamed to admit.  Besides being gay in the Fifties (and I was the Only One back then don't you know), I had almost zero social skills.  I think the only thing that saved me from turning into a juvenile delinquent was that I was so eager to please and most of my classmates took pity on me.  Plus I did have a few friends.  I wasn't totally friendless.

Me and Marlene posing for the band picture - I didn't actually play the drums nor did Marlene - fake picture!

On the day we were to go out and take the "typical class day photos", I was nervous. How would Marlene, The Most Beautiful Girl In The Class, treat me?  Would she be condescending?  Would she say "Eeww! when she found out she would be taking these pictures with me?  Would she even notice me?  Much to my surprise she was warm and friendly and not at all condescending.  In fact she was BEAUTIFUL, inside and out.  I was so thrilled.

All I can say is it was a good thing I wasn't straight because I would have fallen totally and irrevocably in love that day.  But God had other plans for me, Gay Plans.

That spring day in 1958 was the only close encounter I had with Marlene.  I saw her at our Senior Prom, looking outrageously beautiful of course and so gracious to me.  But other than that photo shoot for the our yearbook that day I didn't have any more interactions with Marlene. We had different classes and a different circle of friends.

Fast forward to our 50th class reunion on October 17th, 2009.  I have attended most of my class reunions.  Marlene had attended none.  I knew she was a nurse and a real estate agent who lived in Miami, Florida.  I knew this because I was still involved with the "yearbook" process of our class, I prepare the reunion booklet.  Imagine how thrilled I was when I heard Marlene would be making the trip from her home in Florida to attend our 50th class reunion at the Whitford Country Club in Downingtown, Pennsylvania.

I finally get my hug fifty years later!

This is why I go to the reunions folks.  I wanted to meet her again and tell her that I had a "crush" (as much as a gay guy can) on her.  At the reunion I did see her and I told her.  She was very amused and said she "never knew I felt that way."  I told her that I always thought she was the most beautiful girl in our class and I was literally tongue tied when we went out on that photo shoot all those years ago.  We both had a good natured laugh about this.  I asked if I could have my picture taken with her and of course she agreed.  Wouldn't you know it, the first picture turned out so blurred, probably because I was nervous all over again which she found very amusing.  I did too.  We took another shot and got a good one.

Me and Marlene, October 17th, 2009 - 50th DHS Class Reunion

This morning I received an e-mail from a classmate that Marlene had died.  Since our 50th class reunion several of my classmates have died, including my first real date.  All were healthy at the reunion but have now passed on.  I will write a blog post about them in the future.  But this morning, reading about Marlene's death hit me particularly hard.  Not that I fear death, I don't but  I fear losing all my friends and being left in this world as a lonely old man no one wants.

I remember again what my grandfather said to me when he was 87 years old.  He said "Ronnie, the hardest part about getting old is that you lose all your friends."  Today I found out I lost another friend and I am profoundly sad.

Rest in peace Marlene and thank you for your kindness to me and everyone else you touched during your life.

Bonnie

Time: October 1953

Place: East Ward Elementary School, Downingtown, Pennsylvania

Event: Appointment hall monitor

Bonnie, fifth back, third row with white sash

My sixth grade classmate Bonnie and I are appointed hall monitors. We are each given a white canvas belt to wear that indicates we are hall monitors. The white canvas belts are a status symbol because it indicates that, along with the other hall monitors, we are above average in our grades and attendance and thus given this honor. Both of us are thrilled to be honored in such a way. Coincidentally Bonnie is seated directly in front of me in our sixth grade class. Ironically, on the day this sixth grade class picture was taken I was absent (my classmate the little Bill B. sat in my seat instead.) Back in the “good old days”, the Fifties we were seated in class alphabetically and according to height. I understand this practice has been discontinued because it stigmatizes some of the kids.





Time: October 1957

Place: Downingtown High School, Downingtown, Pennsylvania

Event: Soph Hop Dance



I ask Bonnie to go to the Soph Hop with me. A popular song at the time was “A White Sport Coat and a Pink Carnation” by Marty Robbins. It is my first formal date. I rented a white sport coat and bought a pink carnation ($5.00 at the local florist) and I am excited because I wanted to be one of the cool guys (adolescent peer pressure.) I expected to borrow my father’s car to pick up Bonnie and arrive at the Soph Hop the Cool Dude and impress my classmates. Alas, it was not to be. Even though I had just gotten my driver’s license he refused to loan be his car. Instead he drove us to the Soph Hop. I was mortified. That’s all I remember about the Soph Hop. I don’t even remember dancing. I’m glad Bonnie was my date though. I felt comfortable with Bonnie. No pressure from either one of us.

Time: November 1994

Place: Italian Social Club, West Chester, Pennsylvania

Event: 35th Class Reunion of DHS Class of 1959



I’m sitting at the reception desk passing out name tags with my classmate Patsisue when a buxom woman approaches me. I look at her trying to identify her. She says “Hi Ronnie!” Note: I am known as “Ronnie” by most people in my previous life. When I graduated from high school and joined the Army I identified myself as “Ron.” Now whenever anyone calls my name if it is “Ronnie”, it is from my Previous Life and “Ron” is from ATA (after the Army.)

I look at the woman, trying to identify her. She smiles and says “You don’t know who I am do you Ronnie?” I have to admit, no I don’t. I am embarrassed. Actually, I am mortified again. She says “I’m Bonnie!” I look, and look and yet I still don’t see the “Bonnie” that I knew that I took to the Soph Hop. By the way, that was the last date I took Bonnie on, not that I didn’t like Bonnie but we went our different ways during high school for reasons that will be explained later. Rather than prolong this embarrassment I concede and say “Ah yes, Bonnie!” and I give to her a name sticker. I still didn't recognize her but I'm taking her word for it.




Later on, as the reunion was winding down (I was busy taking videos), I took Bonnie aside and we talked. I told Bonnie I was gay and reminded her of our “date” for the Soph Hop. I thanked her for not “jumping me” on our date (joking of course.) She said that would not have happened because she is gay too! To be truthful wasn’t surprised with this news. During school Bonnie was the typical girl’s hockey player and she was always the tomboy. Bonnie did express surprise that I was gay. She said she would never have guessed. I told her I was gay back then during our Soph Hop days but I thought I was the only one in the world.

We ended the night after having a long and enjoyable and funny reminiscing about our lives since then. There were some surprising revelations (which teachers we had a crush on) from both of us that I will not talk about here because some of our former classmates will read this blog. Needless to say that if we knew then what we knew now, our high school lives would have been dramatically different. Maybe it is just as well we were all dumb and stupid back in the Fifties.





Time: October 2009

Place: Whitford County Club, Whitford, Pennsylvania

Event: 50th Class Reunion of DHS Class of 1959



I meet up with Bonnie again. She seemed tired. I was busy again recording the class reunion, this time by taking several hundred digital pictures. I didn’t have much of an opportunity to spend alone with Bonnie. We talked for a little while and Bonnie posed for a picture with me but time was flying by and I wanted to get as many pictures as possible before everyone left. Before I knew it the night had come to an end and Bonnie was gone. I made a mental note to call her when she got home to Michigan. A few weeks later I called but got the message her phone was disconnected. I tried to send an e-mail but received no response. I never followed up on trying to contact her.

Time: March 17, 2010

Place: Detroit, Michigan

Event: Bonnie passes away



I received an e-mail on this date from another classmate that Bonnie had died. I am shocked. Bonnie is one of those people who you think will always be around.

I always felt a special connection with Bonnie not only because of our shared sexual identity but because we were very compatible as friends.



Now she was gone. Just like that. I called her younger brother this morning to get the details. He told me that Bonnie died in her sleep at 3 am in the morning of March 17th from an apparent cardiac arrest.



I am very saddened by her death. I liked Bonnie a lot. Although we were not in touch that much over the years (we did have one two hour phone conversation after the 35th class reunion), I feel like another part of me has died.



In the past few years I have lost more friends, former co-workers and relatives that I have in all my previous years of my life. I feel like life is musical chairs. When the music stops, who is next?



I will always have fond memories of our special friendship and I will never forget those innocent times of the Fifties when life was so much simpler and a small event like being award hall monitor status was a huge thrill. I will also never forget that date to the Soph Hop with me in my rented white sport coat and pink carnation and you in your many layered white crinoline dress. I was so proud of you. We did make a stunning couple when we entered the high school gymnasium even though we were chauffeured by Pop. Looking back on it now I don’t think anyone even noticed.

You may be gone Bonnie but your memory will live on. Rest in peace my dear Bonnie.

Hump Day Plus One

Slowly but surely I’m getting back to my regular routine. I had to go into work yesterday to fill in for the regular front desk clerk who had a cold. Day shift at the front desk is totally different from night shift. Both shifts are interesting but the day shift goes by much faster. After my shift, I got home and showered and took a good long nap. Of course that screwed up the rest of my evening.

After my nap I got on my computer and checked my account on Facebook. Then I opened up my AOL e-mail account and worked on catching up my genealogy e-mails. I now have four distant relatives (that I’ve never met personally) who are now sharing information with me. Sharing genealogy information with distant relatives is a pastime that I never tire of. I also called two of these relatives, one in Tennessee and one in Ohio. I always enjoy connecting with hitherto unknown relatives and gaining new information about our common family tree, especially the older relatives. I’ve missed so many opportunities in the past to talk to many of my older relatives because I was so caught up in my day to day life. Now I’m trying to make up for lost time.

This daily blog will have to be cut short. I just received a call from a former classmate and a good friend asking me if another one of our classmates has died. I didn’t know. I will have to check my sources. This year will be our 50th class reunion and I’m the classmate who keeps these records for our reunion booklet in addition to our former classmates’ addresses.

Now I have to prepare my lunch. I’m scheduled to work today then I’m off until Monday. Bill and I will be able to pick up on our regular routine of having breakfast at Zorba’s in Rehoboth this Saturday. They say old people like familiar surroundings and a routine. I’m there.