Yes, raking grass in my backyard is my therapy. Who need to pay a psychiatrist the big bucks when one has a beautiful back yard like I do that needs constant attention?
Remember the old PBS show "Crockett's Victory Garden" from years back. On one show Jim Crockett featured this old lady widow and her oh so delightful English garden right out the front door of her modest cottage? She was a widow. Probably about the same age as I am now, eighty-two years old. I think at that time I saw that show Bill and I were still living in an apartment (Cheswick Square) in Roxborough, PA (Philadelphia).
All my life, I have had a goal of having my own backyard. I grew up in a cheap ($22.50 a month), cockroach infested apartment on the second floor in the white trash section of Downingtown, only one street (actually a half a street) from the black section of Downingtown (this back in the Fifties when segregation was the accepted "norm").
As I walked the three blocks to my elementary school, I walked past houses where many of my classmates lived. They had backyards. I didn't. I always envied them. I thought "One day, when I'm rich I'm going to have a house with a backyard".
Yep, that was my dreams folks. To have a house with my very own backyard. Of course my other dream was to meet a Prince Charming who would sweep me off of my feet and love me and take care of me the rest of my life.
Well, I got lucky because I did meet Prince Charming (Bill) and he sweep me off of my feet and spent the rest of his life loving me and taking care of me. But as with all fairy tales (no pun intended......well "maybe"), they come to an end.
My Prince Charming is gone now. I have a few years left (maybe). And what better way to spend it than in my (I'm having hard time getting used to saying "my" instead of "our" since Bill died) backyard just like that widow in that long ago PBS Victory Garden segment.
This morning, like many mornings since Bill died, I got up too early. I sleep a lot these days. Sometimes I get slept out. This morning was one of those mornings. So I decided to put on my waterproof "tick" boots and go out in "my" backyard and rake grass. This way my mind is taken off of how much I miss Bill in my life now and I find comfort in keeping myself busy. Not just busywork but doing something both Bill and I liked. Taking care of "our" backyard.
And one more thing, Bill paid me a brief visit while I was out in our backyard. A beautiful yellow and black swallowtail butterfly flew by me, almost touching my shoulder as I was taking the dead grass. I know that was Bill saying "Good morning" to me and sharing our backyard with me as he often did when he was alive. Yes, I believe that Bill often visits me now. And in that I find so much comfort.
Yes indeed, who needs a therapist when one had a beautiful backyard that I can still share with the love of my life?
14 comments:
That is really a beautiful yard you have, really something to be proud of and take pride and joy in. I don't think I've ever seen a nicer one.
Jim
It's OK to use our/ours and/or me/my/mine with interchangeability. Don't worry about your "inner grammar policeman". I've come across many widows/widowers, both gay and straight, who say our instead of mine.
After reading your last few blogs, you have brought a bright sunny warm spring morning to me, just by reading it. Gotta make a practice of reading your blogs more.
Thanks, Bill (and Ron)
Joel
Your yard looks lovely. You’ve talked about the care you’ve given it, and it shows. And what a nice setting for Bill to visit you in!
Olivia
Hello, Ron:
Glad to see the old man out there doing some hard labor.
Yes, I know it is not as easy as it used to be but the key is to hydrate, take your time, and get the job done.
The warm sun on your bones and just moving helps.
I was wondering if one really does have to rake the grass after moving. The consensus is yes if your grass is tall. The search says an inch or less you can leave the clippings on the lawn. You do you. I used to mow the lawn when I still lived at home. It could take less than an hour. My father was such as ass, and on purpose, he would be out there telling us the direction of the lines, or it was too early to mow, or something else. You wanted to just leave the mower and tell him to do it himself.
I remember back when you had some type of plight that affected the lawn. The lawn does look great. Time to throw a summer party with nice half-naked men running around, playing volleyball, cornhole, a nice barbeque... If you were 15 years younger you could fit a pool back there. Nothing big.
Your guests should be arriving soon. Enjoy their visit.
Take care of yourself.
Much warmth,
Victor
Jim,
I absolutely LOVE my backyard! This is something I've been working for my whole life. Even when we lived in Pennsylvania, I couldn't have a backyard like this because it was on forest land. Lots of rock beneath it and competition with the local deer. To those who have been offering suggestions for me "to move" after Bill's death, I say this is why I'm not moving. Whenever now I'm in "our" backyard I feel Bill's presence. I not only commune with nature I commune with Bill.
Ron
Joel,
It's going to take me sometime to get used to saying "my" backyard, I think I will continue to say "our" backyard. Because it is Bill's backyard just as it is mine. It is ours.
Ron
Olivia,
Bill visits me almost everyday in "our" backyard. I often feel I'm with him when I'm in our backyard. That's why I have no plans to ever move from here.
Ron
Victor,
I don't have to rake the grass but I will as long as the weather permits. Later on this season, it gets too humid here for me to take grass. Raking grass is my way of relaxing.
I will have company next week and then next month when Pat and Glenn arrive for a week's stay. No naked running around in the backyard though.
Ron
oh oh it looks like my comments are not sticking here. I have written a few. :-(
When I first read the post I didn't have time to check out the video---today I did and I feel like I had a little morning Face Time visit with you:-)
Keep raking as long as it makes you happy and same with with calling things "ours"--Bill approves of both I'm sure!
Julie
If you have trouble saying “my backyard,” you can try saying “the backyard” for a while and then switch. Of course, “our backyard” is perfectly fine. It is still your and Bill’s original handiwork together that makes it grow.
Ur-spo,
I got this comment. I'm sorry you're having trouble leaving comments. I have the same problem with my friend's blog who is also using Blogger. Blogger needs to upgrade it's game.
Ron
Julie,
Thanks for your advice. I will indeed keep raking.
Ron
Ivy,
I think I will probably start saying "my" backyard. It was "our's" (Bill seeded it) but I landscaped it. Bill's in the perfect garden now, Heaven. I will soon join him.
Ron
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