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| "Mountain" Clematis at entrance to Casa Tipton-Kelly |
This is the first year I can remember since we moved to our retirement home here in southern coastal Delaware that we have had an extra long spring.
Usually we have four or five spring days then the excessive heat and humidity lays on the land, keeping us inside for the duration of summer. Not this year, we've had many spring like days. Weather is just about perfect. Plenty of rain, sun and low humidity days. I love it!
Today the Delaware Hospice social worker arrives to discharge Bill for the second time from home hospice care. I'm telling you, Bill is going to outlive us all. His health has stabilized (again) but he is still weak. His dementia is increasing also. He still knows who I am and is not in pain. Those two factors are the criteria for keeping him here at home.
There are more days of confusion for him and frustration for me trying to make him understand he doesn't need to put two wash clothes and a kitchen town in his Depends to catch any "leaking". I tried to explain to him that's why he wears Depends and why I help him change them every day. I still don't think I got him to understand the logic but did get him to understand "do as I say." Bill tries so hard to please me. I have to go with that.
How am I doing? I'm exhausted at the end of almost every day. I do manage to make time for my self though which is very important. I was given that advice from many friends when I began this new phase of my life as a caregiver two and a half years ago. I didn't give too much thought to that advice when I first received it but now I know how important it is.
When I get up in the morning I not only have to take care of myself, which is also getting to be more laborious, but then to go downstairs to Bill's bedroom and get him up. Today was Shower Day which is always a workout for both of us.
In the evening, Bill usually goes to bed about seven or eight o'clock then it's My Time. That's when I make myself a leisurely dinner then retire to the Tipton Cinema. The past month I've been rewatching "Breaking Bad." Such a good show! Interesting, many of the scenes seems like the first time I'm seeing them. Of course I know the general story line ark and certain scenes but maybe sixty to seventy percent of the scenes I don't remember. Oh I do enjoy binging on this series again. Such good acting, story-line and direction. Why can't all shows be like "Breaking Bad?"
I'm also following the political drama. The Criminal Trump is finally being held accountable for his lifetime of crime. Today he is being indicted in a Florida Federal court for espionage and obstruction of justice. The coward Republicans are still defending the indefensible but doing a "What aboutism". You know "Hillary's e-mails, Hunter's laptop, and Biden's and old man." So what? That doesn't absolve Trump of his stealing top secret government documents and lying about it and hiding those records. Today's Republican politicians, with few exception a bunch of self serving cowards who put their personal desire to stay in power than over the rule of law and their oath to the Constitution. Trump is going to finally be held accountable and I do believe he will eventually end up in jail. Think of it, his whole miserable life he's been conning and cheating and bullying and gotten away with it but not now. He deserves everything that is coming his way.
And on that cherry note folks, you all have a great day!
7 comments:
Victor,
Bill's world is very small now. He does know me but most other people he has forgotten, even including our dear neighbor. I'm just glad that he does know me, and is not in pain. That was an interesting tory you told me about your friend at the nursing home where you worked when you were in your Twenties.
Ron
How beautiful that Mountain clematis is! If I remember correctly that one is very fragrant, too. That picture and the one of you and Pat are perfect next to one another. I am glad you are enjoying your weather. Here in southwestern Ohio near the Indiana border we are have cool nights in the high 50's and lower 70's by late afternoon. It has been dry but we have just had some scattered rain showers which amount to nothing except to clean the air of all that nasty pollen. The mailman told me that the honey bees are out in full force this year. So many farmers are keeping hives and colonies of bees to insure the polination of their fruit crops. It is good to hear that Bill's health in general is stable and that hospice can release him from their care. Hospice will be there for you again when you need them. I chuckled when you told your little story about the Depends and Bill feeling he needed the extra security of the wash cloths and a towels to contain the urine in case of an accident. The cost of Depends seems outrageous to me. I refuse to use the cheap brand that the insurance plan will pay for because they are just not well made and leak terribly. I use the incontinance products as "just in case" protection for those times I leave the house for appointments. My pain level can sometimes do a sudden jump and I can lose control of things. A dear friend who passed on recently spent his last six months in a nursing facility. They used those cheap pull ups and pads which made my friend feel so wet and messy because they leaked so badly. His funds had run out and the insurance would not pay for Depends. I made arrangements with the management and I provided cases of Depends for him right up until he passed on. We all need to have a little bit of comfort in our final days. He was comfortable to the last and that made me happy I was able to do it. Bill is so lucky to have you to care for him. It is my hope that old age takes me in my sleep because there will be no dedicated friend or love to look after me and hold my hand or ensure my comfort. At last Trump is being held accountable. Most of the world has always laughed at him behind and even to his face. Only in the US of A would he have ever been elected to the presidency. Evil, pure evil is what he is. Trump learned to lie, cheat, defraud and how to use denigration to control people from his mentor Roy Cohn. The day Cohn died is the day Trump became a dangerous live wire. Roy Cohn was evil also but he knew how to be an honorable disgusting dirt bag and did it with panache. Donald Trump wanted to be a Roy Cohn but never understood what made Roy Cohn a success. Roy Cohn was gay. Wikipedia gives you a pretty good idea of who Roy Cohn was. So maybe now Ron, you and I can rest a little easier because Trump could just go to jail as his house of cards falls. Be safe, Be careful, Be real and be Happy. Another sermon from Woody in Ohio. PS: I could go on and on about Trump and Cohn but made it short as to spare you from another long story
Please be careful. My father insisted on taking care of my mother with no help. They lived in a retirement community that had an assisted living wing. But he wouldn’t give up. Instead he had two heart attacks and I had to make the decision to stop life support. Then my mothers care was on me. Please take care of yourself and avail yourself of any help available.
You will bury us all; I certainly look forward to you burying me.
Woody,
Wouldn't you know it, I left a long response to your very thoughtful comments and I lost it when I tried to update it. That's Blogger for you. Never let's you down.
Well, I'll try again. Please know my good friend Woody your comments are never too long. I enjoy reading your "long stories' all the time! Please always feel free to go on and on. This is why I blog other than my personal therapy of writing, is to hear from others out there in the great Blogosphere and their stories.
I'll respond to some of your comments now, I feel very fortunate that I can take care of Bill here at home. We've settled into a nice routine. I do miss my quarterly trips with Pat but this life I have now isn't so bad. I couldn't sleep at night knowing Bill was in some facility during his final days. This is where I want him to spend the rest of his life, in the comfort of his own home.
We're very lucky that the VA provides Bill with Depends at no cost. In fact I have to order more. When he come home from the Thomas Jefferson University Hospital of Philadelphia, they had provided him a diaper like contraption. I guess that was because he couldn't' get up from bed. I have those stored upstairs in the eaves, I hope I never have to use them.
I hope I live long enough to see Trump behind bars. I hope to hell he doesn't get a pass like Nixon got a pardon. Two tiers of justice in this country. We all know it but someone. Let's at least once provide some real justice. Reality Winner gets five years for taking home one piece of secret material and Trump gets away with obstruction? I'm counting on Jack Smith to comet though and hole Trump accountable for his crimes.
You're right about Roy Cohn. A thoroughly evil man who also happened to be gay (hypocrite). But at least Cohn had panache, Trump is just crude. But Trump can rightly lay claim to being the Greatest Con Man in the History of the United States. He's good at duping millions of gullible Americans.
Be well Woody and please continue to leave your "stories" on my Comments page. Now I'll see if I can post this without losing all my text.
Ron
Karen,
Thank you so much for your concern. I have to take care of Bill but I have advised him that if he became immobile I could no longer care for him. Yes, even I have my limits. I'm managing now because Bill can still get up and go to the bathroom by himself and his "accidents" are infrequent which I can handle. I do make sure that I have time to myself, like now when I'm sitting at my computer composing this response to your comment. I have a nice "shop" continuous music playing in the background, which so relaxes me.
By the way, if I have a heart attack or otherwise die from something, Bill won't last too long without me. He would go crazy in a facility. We've already tested that and it won't work. They'll have him so drugged up that he would probably only last a couple of weeks. I would hate to see him spend his final days that way.Hopefully one day when I go downstairs to his bedroom to wake him up he will have passed away in his sleep. That's our hope.
Ron
Ur-spo
You think I'll outlive you? I hope so! But I'm ready to go anytime. I just want to make sure Bill goes first. I can't leave him behind on his own. That is my only wish now, that he passes peacefully in his sleep.
Ron
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