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| Zoom call with friends (three gays and two straights) Ecumenical. |
Yesterday I thought I had ended a lifetime friendship over the Trump Big Lie.
I've known Bill B. since we both attended first grade class in 1947. During high school, we were both in our high school marching band. He played the bass drum and I played the Sousaphone. We were always last on the band bus for the away football games because he had the biggest instruments (get your mind out of the gutter). We waited until the rest of our band members loaded their instruments in the baggage area of the bus and then we loaded our massive instruments. For three years we saved a seat for each other for the away games.
After school we went out different ways as is the case with many high school friends. We stayed in touch for awhile during my Army days (letters, remember that way of communicating?) Then, after my three year tour of duty was over in the Army I came out as gay to everyone. Friends, family and anyone within earshot. This was in 1964 when being gay was illegal (I could literally be arrested for being gay) and dangerous for my physical being. Of course my friend Bill put distance between us lest my gayness be contagious.
Then came a time many years later when I attended one of our many high school class reunions (yes, I am one of THOSE who gets involved in class reunions). I think it was our 20th, 25th or 40th class reunion that we renewed our friendship. Of course I came out to all my classmates (via way of listing my Bill as my "spouse" on the class reunion booklet which I prepared). We renewed our friendship. He was the same Bill of old that I knew many years ago when we sued to ride the band bus together. Wicked funny and witty. I just enjoyed his company and even for a time in high school I had an unrequited crush on him. That ended though by the time we reunited at whatever class reunion (I forget which one). We were "just" friends. We enjoy each other's company like we did of old.
There is the background of our friendship. Now not all is/was perfect. He's a Trumper, hates Democrats. Can't help himself to excoriate every Dem from Hillary to now Biden. He's an Evangelical. He wants to "save" me, which I find very arrogant and presumptuous that I needed "saved." I think I finally got him straightened out on that one "Worry about saving yourself Bill, I'll take care of myself because I know I'm going straight to hell." I can't emphasize how much I take offense to these Evangelical Christians who feel the need to "save" us "sinners." Give me a break. And these so called "Christians" support Trump? Give me a break!
I have other friends and relatives who are blind to Trump's crimes and the Republicans traitors to the Constitution and the United States by their obstruction of ANYTHING the Democrats try to do to improve the lives of Americans. Remember this about Republicans:
They opposed Social Security
They opposed Civil Rights
They opposed Medicare
They opposed same sex marriages
And I could go on.
I can be friends with people who support Trump and the Republicans, like my neighbor Bob M. and others as LONG as they don't try to convert me to their brainwashed ways. My personality isn't of a cultist.
Last year I wrote of my relationship with one of my brothers when he insisted that George Floyd "killed himself." When I told him "No, a police officer knelt on his neck for almost nine minutes and suffocated him." My brother's reaction? He screamed at me "You're a fucking Democrat!" That was it for me with him. I went through all the Clinton years and all his disparagement of me supporting Clinton. I'm no Clinton fan just like I'm not a fan of Biden but they're way better than whatever the Republicans are putting up. My other brother, who actually is an Evangelical Christian pastor, knew better than to try the "I want to save you" arrogance on me or impart his political views on me. I was done with my other brother, forever. At this point in my life, why do I need this? Thankfully though, around Christmas time he contacted me via text message and told me "blood is thicker than water and could we let bygones be bygones?" I told him "Yes" and now we're in contact every morning when I send out my "Good morning" memes.
Two days ago, responding to my "Good morning" meme, Bill B. said something disparaging about the Democrats and Biden. I wasn't having it. I blasted him back and wrote him off, thus ending seventy some years of friendship. He noticed yesterday he didn't receive my "Good Morning" meme. He e-mailed me, not an apology but a statement to the effect "we have our different opinions but don't let that interfere with our friendship." I guess that was an apology of sorts. I accepted it and now he's on my "Good Morning" meme list. We've since texted each other about the fate of our previous school buildings and other subjects. We're back on with our friendship, which I consider important at this time of our lives. We're both eighty years old and we don't have that long to go. Yes, we have our differing political views and even religious views but we can still be friends. Witness my weekly Sunday Zoom call with my friends Stuart (Jewish), Larry (Evangelical Christian), Pat (Catholic) and me, an unrepentant atheist who is going straight to hell when I die. We all get along and enjoy each other's company and DO NOT DISCUSS RELIGION OR POLITICS.
Have a great day everyone!
6 comments:
It is disrespectful to disparage members of the parties your friends support. If he is really a friend, he would truly respect your differences and not bring it up in your discussions, texts, or emails. I don't generally cut people out for their beliefs, but I do cut them out when they disparage mine. But you do you and I'll do me. We all have to decide what is important to us.
Sassybear
www.idleeyesandadormy.com
Sean,
I don't out people for their beliefs either (if I did I would have no friends). But when they disparage me and my beliefs I usually come right back at them with their ridiculous support. In other words I throw their hypocrisy right in their face and they don't like it. Especially the smug arrogant superior one (usually the Christian evangelicals who want to "save me".). No one is going to bully me into their way of beliefs. I find my own way. As I often say to those people, "How would you like it if I tried to convert you to atheism?" Of course they wouldn't and that's when I tell them, "That's the way I feel when you try to "save" me. Save yourself."
I hate organized religion but I understand why so many go along with it, it gives them comfort and who am I to tell them what to do? They should give me the same respect. IF they don, I demand it of them.
Ron
He sounds awful.
Friends disagree but they do not condemn/yell at each other.
So much for Christian values.
How can one believe in anyone who claims Biden did not win the election? Winning is everything to these denialists. When they lose anything, everything in reality can be denied. Why? A narcissist is not focused on the truth.A narcissist is focused on control.There is something in a narcissist's psyche that is hurting a narcissist's concept of reality. Without being healed, a narcissist is a pain. Narcissists can not control the pain within themselves. They hurt themselves and others by denying scientific facts. One's politics explains either a lifetime of angst or a lifetime of healing.
Ur-spo,
There is a lot more to his story that I can't share out of my residual respect for him. I consider him to be brainwash like one in a cult. It's a real shame because he is such a nice guy but apparently this is the only way he can live with himself.
Ron
Anonymous,
Unbelievable isn't it that so many of our fellow Americans can so easily be fooled by the Big Lie. I'll never completely understand it other than the old age "There's a sucker born every minute" is true.
Ron
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