Wednesday, December 27, 2017

My Dream Last Night



This morning I work up early. "Early" was 4:30 am. Usually I don't wake up until 7:00 or 7:30 am. 

I woke up early because I had a dream. A very clear dream. One of those dreams that wake you up.  

As I have written before in this blog, at this time of my life thoughts of my mortality often enter my mind. 

I have often said that I don't fear death or what happens after death. My only fear is how I'm going to get there. My preference is to go to sleep and just not wake up.  That was the desired exit that two of my younger cousins (Randy and Hester) passed away these past few years. Neither was ill before they died. They just died in their sleep unexpectedly. 

I have a mild case of COPD. A few years ago my cardiologist suggested that I wear one of those head gears when I sleep so I wouldn't pass away in my sleep. I didn't take his advice for a couple reason. First I would never get to sleep with a Hannibal Lechter mask on my head (and don't tell me I would get "used to it").  Secondly, I have lived a long and good life and I am ready to go. Of course I would like to hang around for a lot longer but not in an enfeebled state like so many of my friends who have since departed. Of course none of us has a choice in how we make our exit. But I definitely do not want to die violently. Of course that would be quick but still, I'm not into pain or gore.  The other way is to die slowly from a disease like Parkinson's like my friend Bob. To me the absolute worst way to die is in a coma, totally aware of what is going on around you while you're totally disabled. 

Unless you take your life into your own hands (always a possibility but not preferable), none of us knows how or when we will die. But last night I had a dream.  I didn't dream how I would die but I dreamt when I would die. It was clear as a bell, the date. 

Usually when I have dreams I don't remember much of my dreams, only if the dream was bad or good. This one last night was disturbing. Can't say bad or good. But I remember the date. 

I will die in 2033.  Make the date down. I'll be 92 years old when I make my grand exit. 

I'll take that.  

8 comments:

nitewrit said...

Ron,

I don't know exactly when I'll die, but I'm still shooting to outlive my dad, who went at age 94. I have a fair Idea how I will die. Statistically, people with ALS just stop breathing. Seems more often than not, one goes to bed to sleep and just doesn't wake up, not here on Earth anyway.

I sleep most nights now in a Trinity Machine, a respirator somewhat like a C-Pap. I never had a bit of trouble using it, barely notice it at all. It is supposed to strengthen the muscles that make my lungs work and also to give me more energy.

As far as the fact I'll die isn't part of my living.

Lar

Jon said...

What a very strange dream, Ron. It is disturbing - but, on the bright side, 92 is a good age as long as you have your health. I saw Queen Elizabeth's recent Christmas message. I think she's 91 now and she looks and sounds fantastic.
My Uncle George (who was married to my father's sister) lived to be about 98 - and he lived entirely alone and took care of himself until the very end (after his wife died). Thankfully there are some positive stories about growing older....

pat888 said...

Hey Ron - 92 is a pretty good age - especially if you are still with it. I recently watched a news item where they were closing down some bowling lanes. It showed a long time user whom is well loved by the usual gang who flock there. And she's 97 years old rolling down 10 pin bowling balls. She simply didn't show her age by her agility and spirit. That's the way I want to be!!

Pat

Ron said...

Pat,
That is my wish, to be active right up to the end. Then to pass away peacefully in my sleep. No drama at the end.
Ron

Ron said...

Jon,
That's me, the Queen active in my 90's. The only difference is that I don't have or will have snow white hair. I got lucky in my genes that way.
Ron

Ron said...

Lar,
All my life I have prepared for the next chapter in my life. Dying isn't any different. I'll be prepared, or at least as much as I can be.
Ron

Raybeard said...

So you've got quite a bit of time to realise your 'bucket list', Ron. I hope I'm around - and compos mentis enough - to hear you shout "I've done it!"

Ur-spo said...

you will bury us all.