Monday, February 03, 2014

This Drives Me Crazy

Get that checkbook out honey and hold up the line - why don't you put your bags in your shopping cart?

Folks, I really try to keep my blog postings positive and happy but sometimes I just have to vent.  I just returned from my local supermarket. Normally I don't like to go at this time of the evening because the store is crowded with folks getting off from work, or moms who pick their kids up from school.  I usually go early in the morning before these folks get up.  I like quiet.  I can't stand screaming kids running up and down the aisles.  What I also can't stand are those women (and it is ALWAYS women, sorry ladies) who pull out their checkbooks to pay for their groceries. 

So here I am late today, getting ready to prepare my dinner.  I wanted to make some buttermilk biscuits and I have no buttermilk. All the food I have in this house (and it is TOO MUCH) and yet I'm missing an INGREDIENT.  This also drives me nuts but that's a subject of another blog post.

I take my run to the store.  Of course Bill has to go with me.  Where would I be without my backseat driver?  Which, resulted in another row between us because I didn't take his advice and pull in front of a car making a right hand turn to make my left hand turn but THAT is also a subject of another blog posting.  I REALLY don't want to go there in this posting either.  We had a major shouting match over that one.  Bill doesn't seem to realize that there is only ONE driver of the car.  I don't know how many times I've told him we BOTH can't drive the car at the same time.  But I said I wasn't going to go THERE at this time so I won't.  I vented a little bit anyway.

So here I am, at the supermarket, dodging kids, humming annoying tunes and  doing pirouettes in the aisles, absent minded adults who leave their grocery carts in the middle of the aisles and the always single woman (or gay man as it may be and has been all to often for me here in Gayberry U.S.A. - my fate in life being the desirable man that I am) who is trying to get my attention for a Super Market Meeting (just like they read about how to meet THAT MAN in the supermarket freezer section).  


I get my buttermilk.  Wind my way through the late afternoon shoppers WITH THE NEVER ENDING TALKATIVE KIDS (don't those kids ever shut up? That Little Kid Voice irritates me to no end, I hear enough of it in TV commercials which, for some reason the people who make commercials think that Munchkin Little Voice is all so cute - it isn't) to the shortest checkout line.  I find it.  There is an Old Lady in front of me.  Uh huh.  Well, I'll take my chances.

WRONG DECISION RON.  I see she has a pen in her hand.  You know what that means folks don't you?  SHE'S.GOING.TO.WRITE.A.CHECK.  Oh.My.God.  What is it with these women and writing checks at the supermarket checkout?  Didn't they ever hear of a credit or debit card?  And ladies (all my lady friends, no offense), why is it ALWAYS women with the checks?  I don't get it.

So I watch Grandmom.  She mumbling something to the checker as he's checking out her items.  Of course she doesn't have her checkbook ready, they never do.  They always wait until every item is checked out then they go digging into their carry on bag for their purse.  God forbid she would have her checkbook ready, but she did have her pen ready.  I'll give her credit for that.  

The checker finishes ringing her items up. Grandmom says "Oh!" (she finally stopped babbling) and pulls out her checkbook.  It's stuffed with coupons.  OH.MY.GOD.  Now she's trying to match up the coupons with the items she's purchased. 

The lane next to me opens and the checker says to the lady behind me "I'm open!"  Well, I missed that one.  

I patiently wait while Grandmom is dishing through her coupons.  We're not getting anywhere.  The checker in the next lane has already checked out the lady behind me.  I gather up my ONE ITEM and move to her lane.  She checks me out and as I leave the store I see Grandmom still sorting through her coupons.  OH.MY.GOD.

Well, to be fair, maybe this is the only time she gets out of her musty lair.  Whatever.  

Now I'm very agitated. I have no patience folks with this scenario.  I've seen it too many times.  

Then I get in the car, with Bill waiting for me.  Now I'm traffic with the folks who pay my monthly Social Security checks.  Lots of traffic on the road.  I take the back road.  As I get to the road near our home I have to make a left hand turn.  There is a car in the opposite direction indicating they want to make a left hand turn in front of me.  I'm not comfortable turning in this situation so I wait.  Bill's screaming at me "Turn! Turn!" I don't turn in front but go behind her.  I don't know what the rule is in this situation but I just am not comfortable making a left hand turn in front of someone coming in the opposite direction making also making a left hand turn in front of me.  Someone tell me the rule.

So Bill goes berserk.  He's not the best teacher.  He screams and yells. I think he was in the service too long (three years Army and four years Air Force). 

So I get home.  He's furious at me.  I'm highly agitated because I got behind one of THOSE WOMEN WHO PULL THE CHECK BOOK OUT TO PAY FOR THEIR GROCERIES.  

And all for buttermilk to make some buttermilk biscuits.  I think I'll make those biscuits now, maybe it'll calm me down.  

Every day is an adventure folks.  Every day.  

My buttermilk biscuits - the best!


Geo. said...

Ron, I sympathize. However, I confess to being a check-user at both supermakets in our area. One of them doesn't require anything to be written on the check --it's fed blank into a countertop machine which issues a receipt for customer signature. The other store still requires info to be written on the check, but if you pre-write everything except amount and signature before shopping, it really takes less counter time than debit card payment. A few simple preparations make it easier for everybody.

anne marie in philly said...

those biscuits DO look good!

ooooh, you picked the wrong day to go shopping - social security check deposit day. and yes, I agree, it's always females who pay by check.

now, for my part - when I go to the store, I have my list, my savings card, my coupons, my debit card. BEFORE I get into line, I make sure I purchased all the coupon items. I hand coupons and savings card to the cashier, I bag my own groceries, then I pay with the debit card. and I NEVER take a purse; it's all stored in the inside coat pocket.

I hope I never get like these old bats; one day I may just come out swinging a container of cat litter at 'em!

oh yeah, and DON'T lean on the cart like it's a walker. stand up straight, head high, and push that cart!

Nadege said...

Don't they have self checkout at your store? I remember a few years ago, I was in line at the grocery store. A woman in the back of the line was upset because the line was moving too slowly. When it was my turn, the cashier told me : "she is retired I don't know why she comes to the store during rush hour". Maybe she ran out of buttermilk too ;-) ? Ron, in case of emergency, you could use almond milk but then again, they wouldn't be called buttermilk biscuits. And why didn't you let Bill drive? Anyway, funny post!

Anonymous said...

A check beats trying to find three f'ing pennies in the bottom of a 30 gallon purse!!! And no possibility of paying for the $17.03 with a ten, a five and THREE ones! OMG then there would be $1.00 in change in the bottom of that luggage sack, probably making it weigh far too much for an old lady to carry out to the car (which is probably parked in the "No Parking - Fire Lane" directly between the doors and the rest of the parking lot (underneath the "No Parking - Fire Lane" sign in full view of it).

The biscuits look YUMMY!!! WOOHOO!!!

Peace <3

Anonymous said...

You should be shopping here in Florida where there are not only one Grandma using her checkbook but four or five on the line that don't know how to use a debit card; Fewer kids though. One time I asked a woman why she bothered to write a check at WalMart instead of
using her debit card. She gave me a look and said because it takes more time to clear my account. The checker spoke up to correct her and
said the system they use takes it out of the account immediately just like a debit card. The woman didn't quite know what to say but said I'm
not sure how to use a debit card. Yikes! The coupon thing bugs me too. I believe there should be a checkout line solely for the people using
checks and coupons. Debit and Credit lines exclusively. Much like the 10 items or less lines.
As far as your left turn question I believe you are supposed to turn in front of each other but I only trust that if the other driver has a turn signal
on indicating they intend to turn. Been fooled on that one a few times too. What does it hurt to wait until their turn is complete( unless you are
holding up a line of traffic) as we retirees have time to wait. Maybe Bill was just anxious to get home and get those biscuits done !
It's over now. Give him a hug and both go off to bed happy and sleep well. Maybe next time just let him drive and spare the tension.
Stuart in FL

David Jeffreys said...

I only shop at Harris Teeter. At Tuesday midnight, HT publishes its specials for the coming week (Wed->Tues) online. On Wednesday, I review the specials, and then order all my groceries online. I pick a time for pickup on Thursday (5% discount for Seniors on Thursdays) afternoon. At the designated time, I drive up in front of the store into the designated special lane for online orders and press the button -- announce my last name. I sit in the car. In about 5 minutes, the online shopper arrives at my car and loads the groceries for me. Brings the receipt to the driver's window where I am sitting, and I hand him/her my credit card, which is swiped through a little portable device. I sign the ticket and drive away with my groceries. This costs $4.95 per shop or $17.95 per month. I always choose the monthly option. Then I can order as many times per month as I want -- even only one or two items if necessary any day of the week, including Sunday. I am very fortunate as this online Harris Teeter store is only about 1/2 mile away. It is one of their newest and largest stores and has everything!

Oh, I think I forgot the buttermilk!

Ron said...

I like going to the supermarket. I make frequent stops. Almost always I go early in the morning, before the other folks get up. I like the exercise and the supermarket, Food Lion, that I go to is clean, I almost always get good bargains and almost always am checked out quickly. I can't say that for all Food Lions. We do have a Harris Teeter here in Sussex County but it is too far away for me to cover all that traffic for the many frequent stops I need. Besides, I find the employees at Harris Teeter have a bit of an attitude. I suspect they are unionized. I see the same attitude at our local SafeWay. They act like they're doing you a favor and rarely is there more than two lines open even though they have twelve lanes available. My mistake was that I went late in the afternoon. My bad.

Ron said...

Florida, with all those old ladies, would drive me absolutely crazy. I think some of the women using checks up here think it takes longer to clear their account too so they don't mind holding up the whole line while they do their "banking" at the checkout line.
I think you're right about the mutual left turns. Maybe that's why Bill gets so upset. My problem is that he's screaming at me to turn while I'm trying to make a decision and that's going to cause an accident. It's not like I'm going to crash into anyone. Bill can't help himself, he is a terminal backseat driver. He can't go two minutes without telling me how to drive. Just can't help himself. I tried to make things good with him but Bill likes to pout. He's good for at least a couple days now. He always acts like episodes like this are the end of the world when in reality they're nothing more than me exercising my own judgment. But in Bill's World, I an incapable of doing that.

Ron said...


Oh yes, I've been behind those old ladies digging through their "30 gallon nurses" for a dime of three pennies. GOD! Who carries change anymore? And yes,they almost always park in the fire lane or the No Parking and park crooked at that. And yes, the biscuits are good. A skill I learned from my Mother who learned it from her mother-in-law who was a hillbilly cook from the mountains of western North Carolina. She taught my Mother how to make homemade biscuits to keep my father happy. He had biscuits almost every day of his life.

Ron said...

At the Food Lion where I usually go, they don't have a self checkout. The other stores where I go they do have a self checkout and I always use them. Even though there is usually one item that requires assistance, which is frustrating too.
Re the buttermilk biscuits, I could use plain milk or even almond milk (I guess) but I like the sweet taste of buttermilk biscuits. But if I had known the series of cascading events my decision would have caused this afternoon, I would have used the regular milk I had on hand. Bill has a hair trigger and driving is one of them. He can't help himself but to be a backseat driver. I wrote the post to vent. That's what I like about my blog, I can vent and let off steam. I try to do that offending the least number of people but I'm usually not successful. I almost always piss someone off but I'm pretty sure no change carrying, check writing old ladies read my blog. By the way, I usually let Bill drive just to avoid what happened this afternoon. He drove this morning when I had to go to the VA to have my blood taken. But sometimes I like to drive my car to someplace other than to work, which is usually the only time I use my car. Bill drives almost all the other times.

Ron said...

Anne Marie,
I am so glad you're one of those people who doesn't have to lean your torso on the cart to maneuver yourself around the supermarket. Those people irritate me. Just how lazy can you be?
I sometimes use coupons but at least I'm organized when I get to the cashier. This woman, like so many like her, just stand there, make zero attempt to bag their own groceries, and just look at the cashier. Then when it comes time to paying they start digging through the 30 gallon purse for the checkbook, coupon and, this is the worst, the PENNIES! Then the whole time she's mumbling something. I guess I should be so hard. Maybe she's inside all day and this is the only time she gets out. But what gets me about people like this is that they're totally oblivious to anyone behind them in the line. It's all about them. Drives me crazy.

Ron said...

I think one time I saw a woman have a pre-written check out and ready to write in the amount. When I saw this I became light-headed. I thought I was dreaming. I just couldn't believe it. Usually they stand there like they have a broom handle up their ass wondering where they are. One thing I noticed, the ones who write the checks never bag their own groceries. Never.

Ur-spo said...

yikes too much stress; go have a drink.

slugmama said...

I think Ron needs to take some of that buttermilk and make a buttermilk gin flip! lolz

Next time, save your sanity and just make your own buttermilk at home......reg. milk and add a little vinegar....voila! Buttermilk

David Jeffreys said...

My Harris teeter is all about service with no attitude. I used to be one of those who lean on the cart because of my muscular dystrophy, so that is why I find it so much easier to be an online shopper.
My credit union still uses those paper envelopes for deposits, so I take a bunch home with me and fill them out ahead of time so my time at the ATM is quick. I hate having to wait behind people at the ATM who take forever. You can see them searching for a pen.
How about posting that buttermilk biscuit recipe? They do look good. On Facebook today i saw a tin of buttermilk powder. Having that around could save a trip to the store.

Travel said...

My gayborhood Whole Foods, stopped accepting checks a couple of years ago. I thanked the management staff repeatedly for improving my shopping experience. There should be a "special" time for children in stores. What if the oncoming driver with the left turn signal on, was talking on the phone and didn't realize the turn signal was on? I have a bad habit of driving from the passenger seat, my mother has done if for 65 years, I learned from the master.

pat888 said...


You broke me up when you wrote how the woman in front of you had to then search for the cheque book after everything had gone thru. 2 things. One, when I worked part time at our Ontario Liquor Store (LCBO) it was often the case that after I rang everything thru that only then the women (I know I sound sexist) would look for their means of paying. btw - nobody takes cheques up here that I know of. Two - I used to try to remember to bring a book with me when I went to the bank as those lineups could be forever. Maybe it's a good idea to do the same at grocery stores. Great post -sorry about the you and Bill argument.


Ron said...

When I'm in a slow line like this, first I check the other lines (which usually is self-defeating because by the time I change lanes, that line then slows down) or I bring up my iPhone and check my emails. With these women (usually older) in line with their 30 gallon purses, almost always they will stand there looking at the cashier checking their items before they make a move for that 30 gallon purse. Then it's "dig time". What's even worse is when they look for change, more digging totally oblivious to the folks behind her in line. And what I really find interesting is that they NEVER bag their own items……NEVER. I try to spot these women when I choose my checkout line. My problem yesterday was that I went in the late afternoon. I should have known better. No buttermilk biscuit was worth the aggravation and turmoil that ensued yesterday as a result of my quest for buttermilk.

Ron said...

I WISH that the store I shop at would stop accepting checks. Some of these women, this is how they do their banking. Totally inconsiderate to anyone behind them in line. It's all about them. When I was a kid, my Mom used to take me and my two younger brothers with her to the grocery store. We wouldn't even THINK of raising our voices or racing around the store. The only problem my Mom had with us was that we were always trying to slip some candy or potato chips in her cart when she wasn't looking.
Backseat or passenger seat driving? Bill just can't help himself. Once I turn on the ignition he starts giving driving instructions. I'm missing that gene, I let the driver drive the car.

Ron said...

My apologies to you and others who have a good reason to lean on their carts. My Mother had a hard time walking but she refused to use a cane. She did like to go shopping and it was such a relief for her that she could lean on the cart. She often expressed her gratitude that she could do so. I should have made it clear in my posting that what annoys me is those people (especially the young ones) who are perfectly capable of walking upright and yet are so lazy that they have to lean on their cart. I'll take a photo the next time I see one.
I stopped using ATM's years ago. With my Discovercard I can get cash and it doesn't cost me anything plus I get credit on my cash back account. It's great! Goodbye ATM's. Now they used to be a pain to use, especially when most of them now charge a minimum of a dollar to use.
I'll post the buttermilk biscuit recipe. It's good. Very easy to make too.
By the way, I'm glad you're Harris Teeter is a non-attitude store. Maybe I just got a couple of their employees on an off day. I can usually tell union employees because they avoid dealing with the customer. I've literally had to chase store employees around the store to get help. Almost always union folk.

Ron said...

I know that recipe for buttermilk but I would rather use the real thing. Hey, if I had a drink before I went to the store, I would have blasted someone. Sober, I just let my frustration and anger boil up inside me and vent through my blog. Of course I probably had steam coming out of my ears yesterday at the store.

Ron said...

Dr Spo,
I should have known better than to hit the store in late afternoon just as the working Mom's picked up their kids and made a quick stop in the store and the old ladies with their checkbooks ventured out after sleeping until 12 noon. My bad.

slugmama said...

I meant have that drink AFTER you came home of course silly.
But what I wouldn't give to see steam coming out your ears too. lol

Ron said...

Some people have seen steam coming out of my ears. They couldn't believe sweet, gentle Ron was capable of such a thing. You should see me when I breath fire.

Anonymous said...

Those biscuits look yummy and worth the aggravation. Your trip for the buttermilk provided lots of entertainment on this dismal day in Delaware. Lucky you didn't need the buttermilk during the summer.

Ron said...

The biscuits were worth the aggravation. Of course I went overboard with my blog writeup of my "adventure." I understand these old ladies probably only get out this one time of the day. But really, have the checkbook ready. Don't wait until the cashier finishes ringing up the order then just stand there in a daze. That's the thing that drives me crazy. But I only blame myself. I should have known better to get in her line.
By the way, are you coming to the Bloggerpalooza? March 15th at the Inn. You know where that is. Meet and Greet from 6 pm in the Parkview Room. I would love for you to meet some of the other bloggers and I'm sure they would like to meet you. It will be fun.