Betty White 1922-2021

 

Betty White

Our national treasure Betty White died today.

Betty was just weeks shy of her 100th birthday.

Upon hearing of her death while I was in the kitchen (I will always remember where I was), I felt a gut punch in my stomach. 

While her death was not unexpected at her age, whenever a much loved icon like Betty dies, it's a gut punch. Also, this is one of the few times I teared up. I even choked up. Like millions of my fellow Americans, we all loved Betty. I don't know of anyone who didn't love Betty.

And I have a special reason for sadness of losing Betty. For you see Betty has always been associated with my Mother who was also named "Betty." Not "Elizabeth" (like Betty White) but "Betty." 

My Mom was born in 1923, one year later than Betty but almost the same age, Betty White was born in 1922.

I remember the first time our family saw Betty White on TV. It was the Fifties and Betty had a black and white TV show called "Life With Elizabeth." My father and all of us were struck by the strong physical resemblance between Betty White and our "Betty" (nee Hadfield, married name Tipton). 

My Mother died at age 87, in 2010. She didn't make it quite as long as Betty White but like Betty White, I never knew anyone who disliked my Mother. Yes, I was one of the lucky ones, my brothers and I knew we had a great mother. Our father? Perhaps not so much but Mom? Absolutely the best. 

Betty White may be gone but thank goodness we will always have our recorded memories of her goodness, humor and good will. If there is a Heaven, perhaps she and my Mother will finally meet.

Betty (Hadfield) Tipton

By the way, my "Betty" also loved animals.

Waiting For Godot

 

All day I've been waiting for Bill's hospice nurse for her weekly visit. 

Bill and I take a one to two hour nap in the afternoon, generally starting around 2 PM. I've asked her to visit in the morning or late afternoon after our naps. 

Unfortunately, she is so overloaded with patients she is visiting she can't always keep to this schedule. Today is one of those days.

It is now a few minutes after 4 PM. She texted me that she would call "in a bit."  "In a bit" can be anywhere from a few minutes to an hour or more.

I don't blame her, it is the nature of her job. Still, This will be another screwed up day for my rest. Yes, sometimes it is all about me.

There are a couple of other situations I've been waiting a long time to come to completion.

One of them is fixing that seal around the sewer pipe that goes out of our wall downstairs behind our finished wall to wall carpeted Media Room. A few years ago I discovered that water leaked down the wall to the floor and underneath the drywall to the Media Room. I only detected it by the smell of fungus that grew over time. How many months or years it was leaking on the floor I do not know but long enough to cause me to rip up the media room rug and replace it and some cost of time and expense. Actually the new rug is better so some good came of it. 

Bill fixed the leak and it lasted about three years but now it leaks again.  After a heavy rainstorm droplets leak down the wall to the basement floor behind the drywall to the Media Room. I contacted with a local leak specialist last November to repair it. He specializes in crawl spaces and leaks like we have here. Since then it's been one delay after another. The latest delay is that he has COVID and is in quarantined but I was assured by his office this morning that I'm "first on the list." Again, I'm trying to be patient and realize that in this Age of COVID life will not be normal. There will be delays and my basement wall leak is way down on the list. But Bill constantly asking me "When is he going to fix it?" is driving me crazy. I'm confident he will fix it.  He's already been out here and surveyed the situation and I have confidence in him and he has all excellent reviews on Yelp. But I await completion, hopefully by the end of January. We shall see. In the meantime the one thing for sure Bill will ask me again, sometimes several times a day "When is he going to fix the leak?"

Then there is my sunglass frame delay. I broke my excellent Timberland wrap around sunglasses some months back. I went to BJ's looking to replace the frame. They told me they didn't carry that designer frame any more but I could order it directly from Timberland. I did my Internet research and found a company where I could get this frame. I ordered it last November 30th and received a confirmation letter. Then nothing. Nada. I called their customer service number this morning (with my friend Larry as a witness on Zoom). The customer service rep told me the frames were on "backorder" and they expected it in at the end of January. That's TWO MONTHS folks. 

Be patient Ron. Don't be one of those difficult, unreasonable customer demanding the impossible. 

It's not all doom and gloom on the customer service front here at Casa Tipton-Kelly. When I called for my annual eye examination appointment and was told my doctor couldn't see me until May 24th I took matters in my own hands and scheduled an eye appointment with another doctor, who as luck would have it had a cancellation and took me in two days after my call and at 10 AM in the morning, my preferred appointment time. Late enough in the morning so I don't have any toilet issues and early enough so I could have lunch and my afternoon nap.

But here I wait for Bill's hospice nurse to call. It is now 4:20 PM. And here I rushed through lunch half expecting her to call just as I was placing a spoonful of that delicious homemade White bean potato kale soup into my hungry mouth. I made it through lunch without any interruptions to feeding my face. 

When I go on whining like this I always have to stop and put things into perspective. I'm alive, I'm (reasonably) well, I can move around (without too much pain) and I have a roof over my head and no mortgage. What's to complain about? But it's my nature. As Pat says, "Could always be worse. We could have third world problems." 

Indeed.

Happy Birthday Pat!

Pat isn't big on his birthday celebration

 Today is my good friend and soulmate Pat's 73rd birthday! 

Happy birthday Pat!

Pat came into my life eight years ago through a serendipitous route. 

I always knew I would meet Pat. 

As the song says "Looking for love in all the wrong places" (or something like that). 

Even though I've been with Bill for the past fifty-seven years and will be with him until the end (for either one of us), I was always looking for a "Pat." 

When I met Bill all those years ago and he asked me to move in with him I turned him down initially because I told him "Even though I like you, you're not the one." Bill asked me to move in with him anyway and said I would always have my "freedom" to do what I wanted to do (hang out at the bars, which I did), as long as I was discreet about it. And if nothing else, I am discreet. He also said that if I ever met anyone else he wouldn't "hold me back."

Well, over the years I've met some clunkers and thank God I didn't leave Bill to go with them because all of them would have failed. They didn't love me, it was always one sided. Bill always loved me and in time I grew to love him. That's why I could never leave him now.

When I moved in with Bill it was because he wanted my company and also a move of convenience. He traveled a lot with his job and was gone for months. I could watch his garden two bedroom apartment in Pennsauken New Jersey. Also, I had got a new job at Girard Bank in Philadelphia (a short bus ride from Pennsauken) and could easily commute to my job while I was hanging out at the gay bars looking for Mr. Right. Ironically, many years later I did meet a "Mr. Wright". What an absolute disaster that was but I digress.

To be back to the main purpose of this blog post today. I want to wish my good friend, "little brother", and travel mate Pat a very happy birthday. 

Happy birthday Pat!

Pat (holding guitar on the right) with his band "The Bobcats" back in the day. He was a redhead back then. I wasn't into redheads. Just goes to show you, one never knows who fate works out.

Where Are The Heroes?

 One type of movie I never see are the super hero movies. Why should I go to the movies to see make believe heroes when we can't get any in real life? 

I'm talking about our country today. Our country where everybody knows that our former president Donald Trump tried and failed at a coup to overturn the free and fair election. 

I'm talking about EVERY Republican save two who support the BIG LIE. Why do they support the BIG LIE? Because they're ALL COWARDS. Yes, no super heroes among that crowd. Except for Representatives Liz Cheney and Adam Kinzinger, NOT ONE OF COURAGE.

There are courageous people in our country but they're not in Congress. 

I understand how Trump's cult followers believe his BIG LIE. It saddens me that so many hate Democrats and "the libs" so much that they would forsake our country to a malignant evil like Trump. 

But one thing that continues to shock me is the absolute cowardice of all those Republicans in Congress who are afraid of Trump. Afraid of losing their jobs. Afraid of telephone death threats from the Trump Thugs. Well, maybe I can understand the death threats. 

So here we are folks. President Joe Biden, clearly past his prime, is leading our country. Senator Joe Manchin and Kristen Sinema are more concerned about being reelected than doing what is right by our country. Biden, perhaps the worst person to communicate to the American public. Biden, who can't complete a sentence without stumbling over his words. Oh sure, he's a stutterer. Well, I was too but I overcame it. I just think Biden is in cognitive decline. 

Then we have the anti-vaxers. You know folks when I joined the Army one of the first things they did was give me FOURTEEN vaccinations. I didn't die. I didn't whine about "losing my rights." For chrissakes babies, you're NOT losing your rights when you get a COVID vaccination. You saving your life and your fellow human beings by not passing the virus. 

I have to admit folks, sometimes these days I am just exhausted knowing all this information. The Republicans who are obstructionists and majority of whom believe the BIG LIE from Trump, who they know is a liar. Trump, who has led a lifetime of crime and gotten away with it and will continue to get away with it because the feckless Merrick Garland is our Attorney General. Garland won't hold Trump accountable because he fears being seen as partisan. He doesn't want the reputation that his predecessor Bill Barr has as the president's lawyer. Sad Merrick Garland, can't see past his own nose and  see that he is permitting Trump to be above the law.

I feel sorry for young people these days. Dealing with COVID, which will probably be with us forever and the failure of most of our political leaders, of both parties. 

My apologies for posting a political post but these feeling have been stirring within me for sometime now and I just had to life the lid on this boiling pot.

The one thing I thought I always had in my life was living in a country that was a true democracy. Where our leaders did the just and fair thing. Those who were evil and broke the law were brought to justice. It so saddens me to realize that real life isn't like that. Trump and his thugs and enablers and the Republicans will continue to get away with destroying our country. I try to get some solace knowing that there are many in our country who are good but unfortunately there are many who are not and they seem to be gaining control. And I despair.

Relaxing With The Mulch Pile

 Ever wonder what I do to relax? 

I lay mulch. 

Sounds exciting, eh?

To me, laying mulch is relaxing. Caregiving for Bill pretty much takes up a good portion of my day (and sometimes night), I find I need some respite from those responsibilities. Laying mulch is one way I get some respite.

In years past I would pay Fernando and his son Alfredo (one of the many Mexican immigrant workers in our area of Sussex County, Delaware), to lay my six to ten cubic yards of mulch. This year I don't have the discretionary income to pay someone else to lay my mulch. Not working at the hotel takes about $12,000 off of my annual income, that's a chunk folks. 

Fernando and Alfredo would lay the mulch in one day. Of course at my age I'm not physically capable of laying six cubic yards of mulch in one day. Oh I could try but I would probably end up in an arthritic heap of pain at the end of the day. So what do I do? I set a goal to two wheelbarrows of mulch a day. Overtime I accomplish the same result, plus I get exercise and I SAVE money.  I have to admit I did enjoy seeing the guys lay mulch while I relaxed in the comfort of our house but in these challenging times extreme measures are called for. Plus, as I mentioned before, I GET EXERCISE.

I don't lay mulch every day. I'm dependent on the weather for the days I lay mulch. Like today, cold and wet, I didn't lay any mulch. However, lately we've been having many mild days and on those days I'm out back at the edge of our almost one acre lot, shoveling that mulch in a wheelbarrow. 

By the way, this photo was taken of an aborted video that Bill took of me. Since Bill has had his strokes, he can't figure out how to hold my iPhone to take a picture of a video of me. I set the video or photo and tell him to hold my iPhone, hoping he doesn't drop it.  You know me, I have to memorialize with photos and videos of all my activity. I have no one else around here to do that unless I set up my tripod and set my iPhone camera to a timer. Lots of prep for just one picture or video. But maybe I'll do that next time though. I spent more time with Bill trying to get this picture than I would setting up a tripod and timer.

Got Through Another Christmas

Bill's Christmas card to me

 Ah, the day after Christmas, another Christmas goes into the memory bank. Always seemed anticlimactic to me. 

I am one of those people for whom Christmas is a rough time. In the past I've been able to deal with Christmas by volunteering for work on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day. In the past fourteen years that was at the hotel where I worked. On Christmas Eve I would watch the 1951 movie version of "A Christmas Carol" with Alister Sim. I don't know why, but that always gave me a level of comfort, being in the hotel by myself with only a few grandparents in town to visit their married children and grandkids. They stay at the hotel because they can only take so much of their grandkids energy. These folks are invariable nice and we always have a good chat.

However, this year I'm not working at the hotel because I have to be here for Bill. 

Bill and I stopped doing the Christmas Ritual many years ago. We both like the bright multi-colored lights and an occasional Christmas song but spare both of us the "Ho! Ho! Ho!" (which I dread, there's always one person or commercial that inflects that pain on us every Christmas season). Who says "Ho! Ho! Ho!" anyway besides the phony Santas in the flood of Christmas season commercials everything from cars to Flex Seal?

Our private and personal way of celebrating the Yuletide is exchanging Christmas cards. This year I didn't get Bill a Christmas card because of his eyesight, he couldn't read it. If I could get a Christmas card that had blinking lights, he would like that (he likes light which he can see, color is even better). But a card with syrupy sentiments? Not so much. 

This year though Bill gave me a card that he made personally. Folks, this was the best card ever! Bill worked for weeks to write his feelings on the card. Bless his heart. He tries so hard. I could read his card. This man, who has devoted his life to me. To making me happy, secure and content. Few people are as fortunate as I am. 

Merry Christmas 2021

 

Bill and me from a couple weeks ago at the hotel where I used to work. They always have the best Christmas tree. This is our official 2021 Christmas picture!

Merry Christmas to all my longtime and new blogger friends!

Bill and I made it to another Christmas. We are indeed blessed. 

We'll spend a quiet day here at home. Bill and I stopped exchanging presents many years ago but we continued to do Christmas cards. Sadly this year I won't be giving Bill a Christmas card because of his failing eyesight. But I will be spending the day with him, just the two of us which is the way we prefer to spend our Christmas days. 

It was interesting returning from my walk this morning. My widowed neighbor had six cars parked outside his house. Our house just had one car, my Subaru Forester in the garage. If an alien just got off the spaceship they could easily identify where the gay couple lived. Most of us just don't have that extended family. Not complaining, just the way it is. 

The temperature is 56 degrees now. I'll lay a bit of mulch (still working on that mulch pile) and then take Bill for his daily ride, probably just down the end of Oyster Rocks Road to the Broadkill River.

Tomorrow life returns to normal. 

I hope everyone who is reading this blog posting is having a wonderful Christmas, with friends and family or even alone.