Happy Birthday Pat!

Pat isn't big on his birthday celebration

 Today is my good friend and soulmate Pat's 73rd birthday! 

Happy birthday Pat!

Pat came into my life eight years ago through a serendipitous route. 

I always knew I would meet Pat. 

As the song says "Looking for love in all the wrong places" (or something like that). 

Even though I've been with Bill for the past fifty-seven years and will be with him until the end (for either one of us), I was always looking for a "Pat." 

When I met Bill all those years ago and he asked me to move in with him I turned him down initially because I told him "Even though I like you, you're not the one." Bill asked me to move in with him anyway and said I would always have my "freedom" to do what I wanted to do (hang out at the bars, which I did), as long as I was discreet about it. And if nothing else, I am discreet. He also said that if I ever met anyone else he wouldn't "hold me back."

Well, over the years I've met some clunkers and thank God I didn't leave Bill to go with them because all of them would have failed. They didn't love me, it was always one sided. Bill always loved me and in time I grew to love him. That's why I could never leave him now.

When I moved in with Bill it was because he wanted my company and also a move of convenience. He traveled a lot with his job and was gone for months. I could watch his garden two bedroom apartment in Pennsauken New Jersey. Also, I had got a new job at Girard Bank in Philadelphia (a short bus ride from Pennsauken) and could easily commute to my job while I was hanging out at the gay bars looking for Mr. Right. Ironically, many years later I did meet a "Mr. Wright". What an absolute disaster that was but I digress.

To be back to the main purpose of this blog post today. I want to wish my good friend, "little brother", and travel mate Pat a very happy birthday. 

Happy birthday Pat!

Pat (holding guitar on the right) with his band "The Bobcats" back in the day. He was a redhead back then. I wasn't into redheads. Just goes to show you, one never knows who fate works out.

Where Are The Heroes?

 One type of movie I never see are the super hero movies. Why should I go to the movies to see make believe heroes when we can't get any in real life? 

I'm talking about our country today. Our country where everybody knows that our former president Donald Trump tried and failed at a coup to overturn the free and fair election. 

I'm talking about EVERY Republican save two who support the BIG LIE. Why do they support the BIG LIE? Because they're ALL COWARDS. Yes, no super heroes among that crowd. Except for Representatives Liz Cheney and Adam Kinzinger, NOT ONE OF COURAGE.

There are courageous people in our country but they're not in Congress. 

I understand how Trump's cult followers believe his BIG LIE. It saddens me that so many hate Democrats and "the libs" so much that they would forsake our country to a malignant evil like Trump. 

But one thing that continues to shock me is the absolute cowardice of all those Republicans in Congress who are afraid of Trump. Afraid of losing their jobs. Afraid of telephone death threats from the Trump Thugs. Well, maybe I can understand the death threats. 

So here we are folks. President Joe Biden, clearly past his prime, is leading our country. Senator Joe Manchin and Kristen Sinema are more concerned about being reelected than doing what is right by our country. Biden, perhaps the worst person to communicate to the American public. Biden, who can't complete a sentence without stumbling over his words. Oh sure, he's a stutterer. Well, I was too but I overcame it. I just think Biden is in cognitive decline. 

Then we have the anti-vaxers. You know folks when I joined the Army one of the first things they did was give me FOURTEEN vaccinations. I didn't die. I didn't whine about "losing my rights." For chrissakes babies, you're NOT losing your rights when you get a COVID vaccination. You saving your life and your fellow human beings by not passing the virus. 

I have to admit folks, sometimes these days I am just exhausted knowing all this information. The Republicans who are obstructionists and majority of whom believe the BIG LIE from Trump, who they know is a liar. Trump, who has led a lifetime of crime and gotten away with it and will continue to get away with it because the feckless Merrick Garland is our Attorney General. Garland won't hold Trump accountable because he fears being seen as partisan. He doesn't want the reputation that his predecessor Bill Barr has as the president's lawyer. Sad Merrick Garland, can't see past his own nose and  see that he is permitting Trump to be above the law.

I feel sorry for young people these days. Dealing with COVID, which will probably be with us forever and the failure of most of our political leaders, of both parties. 

My apologies for posting a political post but these feeling have been stirring within me for sometime now and I just had to life the lid on this boiling pot.

The one thing I thought I always had in my life was living in a country that was a true democracy. Where our leaders did the just and fair thing. Those who were evil and broke the law were brought to justice. It so saddens me to realize that real life isn't like that. Trump and his thugs and enablers and the Republicans will continue to get away with destroying our country. I try to get some solace knowing that there are many in our country who are good but unfortunately there are many who are not and they seem to be gaining control. And I despair.

Relaxing With The Mulch Pile

 Ever wonder what I do to relax? 

I lay mulch. 

Sounds exciting, eh?

To me, laying mulch is relaxing. Caregiving for Bill pretty much takes up a good portion of my day (and sometimes night), I find I need some respite from those responsibilities. Laying mulch is one way I get some respite.

In years past I would pay Fernando and his son Alfredo (one of the many Mexican immigrant workers in our area of Sussex County, Delaware), to lay my six to ten cubic yards of mulch. This year I don't have the discretionary income to pay someone else to lay my mulch. Not working at the hotel takes about $12,000 off of my annual income, that's a chunk folks. 

Fernando and Alfredo would lay the mulch in one day. Of course at my age I'm not physically capable of laying six cubic yards of mulch in one day. Oh I could try but I would probably end up in an arthritic heap of pain at the end of the day. So what do I do? I set a goal to two wheelbarrows of mulch a day. Overtime I accomplish the same result, plus I get exercise and I SAVE money.  I have to admit I did enjoy seeing the guys lay mulch while I relaxed in the comfort of our house but in these challenging times extreme measures are called for. Plus, as I mentioned before, I GET EXERCISE.

I don't lay mulch every day. I'm dependent on the weather for the days I lay mulch. Like today, cold and wet, I didn't lay any mulch. However, lately we've been having many mild days and on those days I'm out back at the edge of our almost one acre lot, shoveling that mulch in a wheelbarrow. 

By the way, this photo was taken of an aborted video that Bill took of me. Since Bill has had his strokes, he can't figure out how to hold my iPhone to take a picture of a video of me. I set the video or photo and tell him to hold my iPhone, hoping he doesn't drop it.  You know me, I have to memorialize with photos and videos of all my activity. I have no one else around here to do that unless I set up my tripod and set my iPhone camera to a timer. Lots of prep for just one picture or video. But maybe I'll do that next time though. I spent more time with Bill trying to get this picture than I would setting up a tripod and timer.

Got Through Another Christmas

Bill's Christmas card to me

 Ah, the day after Christmas, another Christmas goes into the memory bank. Always seemed anticlimactic to me. 

I am one of those people for whom Christmas is a rough time. In the past I've been able to deal with Christmas by volunteering for work on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day. In the past fourteen years that was at the hotel where I worked. On Christmas Eve I would watch the 1951 movie version of "A Christmas Carol" with Alister Sim. I don't know why, but that always gave me a level of comfort, being in the hotel by myself with only a few grandparents in town to visit their married children and grandkids. They stay at the hotel because they can only take so much of their grandkids energy. These folks are invariable nice and we always have a good chat.

However, this year I'm not working at the hotel because I have to be here for Bill. 

Bill and I stopped doing the Christmas Ritual many years ago. We both like the bright multi-colored lights and an occasional Christmas song but spare both of us the "Ho! Ho! Ho!" (which I dread, there's always one person or commercial that inflects that pain on us every Christmas season). Who says "Ho! Ho! Ho!" anyway besides the phony Santas in the flood of Christmas season commercials everything from cars to Flex Seal?

Our private and personal way of celebrating the Yuletide is exchanging Christmas cards. This year I didn't get Bill a Christmas card because of his eyesight, he couldn't read it. If I could get a Christmas card that had blinking lights, he would like that (he likes light which he can see, color is even better). But a card with syrupy sentiments? Not so much. 

This year though Bill gave me a card that he made personally. Folks, this was the best card ever! Bill worked for weeks to write his feelings on the card. Bless his heart. He tries so hard. I could read his card. This man, who has devoted his life to me. To making me happy, secure and content. Few people are as fortunate as I am. 

Merry Christmas 2021

 

Bill and me from a couple weeks ago at the hotel where I used to work. They always have the best Christmas tree. This is our official 2021 Christmas picture!

Merry Christmas to all my longtime and new blogger friends!

Bill and I made it to another Christmas. We are indeed blessed. 

We'll spend a quiet day here at home. Bill and I stopped exchanging presents many years ago but we continued to do Christmas cards. Sadly this year I won't be giving Bill a Christmas card because of his failing eyesight. But I will be spending the day with him, just the two of us which is the way we prefer to spend our Christmas days. 

It was interesting returning from my walk this morning. My widowed neighbor had six cars parked outside his house. Our house just had one car, my Subaru Forester in the garage. If an alien just got off the spaceship they could easily identify where the gay couple lived. Most of us just don't have that extended family. Not complaining, just the way it is. 

The temperature is 56 degrees now. I'll lay a bit of mulch (still working on that mulch pile) and then take Bill for his daily ride, probably just down the end of Oyster Rocks Road to the Broadkill River.

Tomorrow life returns to normal. 

I hope everyone who is reading this blog posting is having a wonderful Christmas, with friends and family or even alone.

Christmas Eve 2021

Bill and Sparky Christmas 1980

 Here we are again folks, another Christmas Eve. 

Bill and I have nothing planned today. Oh maybe I'll lay a couple of wheelbarrows of mulch (exercise and get that mulch pile down). And of course take Bill for his daily ride to get him (and me) out of the house.

We have nothing planned today other than to just be at home with each other. And that folks is more than I expected.  When Bill had his two strokes this past year on January 12th and 14th, I thought that was it for us. But we're still here, albeit adjusted for the significant change in our daily lives. Now I am the "dad" (caregiver) and Bill is the child. I would have it no other way.

The photo above is of Bill and one of our earlier Pomeranians. His name was "Sparky" and he was Bill's favorite. Sparky spent most of his life at our townhouse in Philadelphia with our other Pom called "Hamburger" (because he liked hamburger). Unfortunately Sparky didn't live too long after we moved to our sylvan paradise on Crawford Road in East Brandywine Township in Pennsylvania from our townhouse in center city Philadelphia. 

At this time of my life I often think about our past experiences. So many good memories. This one of Bill and Sparky getting ready for our 1980 Christmas is one of them.

Have a happy Christmas Eve folks!

A Zoom Call With An Old Friend

Bill P. (far left) digging in at the Girard Bank Trust Operations Department Christmas buffet 1979

 This morning I had a Zoom call with an old friend from my Girard Bank days. His name is also Bill and he was also my boss. The picture above is at one of our bank's annual Christmas parties.  Everyone brought something in to eat and share with fellow Trust Operations employees.

I departed Girard Bank a few years after Mellon Bank took over in 1982. I took this picture I think in 1979. Yes, I was taking pictures even back then. I've always been that annoying person who drags out his camera and takes photos. Be thankful, imagine how many pictures I would have if I had an iPhone back then in those prehistoric digital days.  

My former boss Bill also departed Girard Bank (of Philadelphia) after Mellon Bank (of Pittsburgh) also departed the Philadelphia office and moved to Pittsburgh after Mellon completed its swallow of Girard Bank.

Over the years I've kept in touch with Bill by phone. But with the advent of Zoom I was able to convince him to try Zoom, even though he frequently reminded me he wasn't "technological proficient." In my opinion he doesn't give himself enough credit. Coincidently his e-mail address also has the name "Zoom" in it although that was pre Zoom call era.

In this COVID era I stay in touch with old friends, relatives and former co-workers via FaceTime and Zoom. I am so thankful I can do this. I'm old enough to remember the main way we stayed in touch was by handwritten letters or expensive long distance phone calls. I hear now days they don't even teach cursive writing in elementary school.  

We had a little trouble connecting this morning, couldn't get Bill's image, but eventually he came through and he had a surprise for me. He got a new puppy! 

Bill P. with his new puppy, "Brooke". She's ten weeks old. Looks like a lot of love here.

Bill's favorite breed of dog are Shetland collies. He and his wife Marie had two of them. One died a few years ago and the other is fourteen years old now. Bill and his wife were reluctant to get a new dog because of their age, their dog will likely outlive them. This is a thought I've had. If my Bill passes before I do I want to get a companion to keep me company and focused here in an empty house of love. I've been considering cats (I love cats) but reluctant because I know cats like to climb and I just have too many things to get knocked over not to mention all my functions keys on my keyboard, a problem my friend Lar has with his cats. 

Bill told me his unique solution to bringing into his family a puppy who will likely outlive him and his wife. He has an agreement with the breeder should he and his wife die before their new puppy, the dog goes back to the breeder. Now that solves a problem for me. My preferred breed of dog is a Pomeranian. The best friend I ever had in my life was "Horace." A Pomeranian that I brought on a whim after seeing him frolicking in a pet store window on Chestnut Street in Philadelphia on my way to lunch. I had no intentions of buying a dog (puppy) that day but I was intrigued and walking into the pet store. The owner brought this little stinky orange fluff ball out to me to hold and that was the end of that story. I bought him on the spot and took him back to work with me then surprised my Bill when he picked me up at the train station at the end of the day. Horace lived a long sixteen years. In the photo he is on the far right. The middle is "T" another Pom we purchased and their puppy "Babydoll."  Horace died in 1998 and we haven't had a pet since. Now, knowing that I can have an agreement that if I get a puppy, he (or she) would have a home long after I'm gone. Of course I won't get any pet while my Bill is still here. But getting a pet will be a way for me to cope with life should my Bill die before me. 

Bill P and me on Zoom this morning during a point of hilarity. Life goes on. I am so thankful for Zoom. We couldn't have these moments with the old land line phones.

These days I think a lot about my previous seventy-nine years of life. I have so many good memories, some bad, some scary but mostly good.

The picture below is one of the rare ones with me and Bill P. during our days at Girard Bank in the 70's. Bill was the vice president of the Trust Operations department. I was one of his managers along with Joe M., another manager in the photo. 

Me, Joe M. and Bill P. at Girard Bank 1977

Those were the days!