Bingo-a-Go-Go

All day I was looking forward to going out last night to Bingo-a-Go-Go in Rehoboth Beach. I haven’t been able to attend these four times a year fund raisers for AIDS because I’ve had to work at the Inn. Thus, it was a pleasant surprise when my friend Paul and Jack called me last week and asked me to join them for a night of dining and fun and festivities. Wouldn’t you know it? Monica from work called me about 1 in the afternoon and asked if I could work her shift for her because her youngest child was sick. I had to turn her down because I had already purchased the tickets for bingo and made dinner arrangements at Casa Dileo with my friend Paul and Jack. I had also invited my friend and neighbor Barbara. She said she couldn’t make dinner but would meet us at the Convention Center.

Four o’clock rolls around. I had arranged to meet Paul and Jack at 5 PM in front of Casa Dileo. I drove into Rehoboth and parked at my friend Ed’s house so I wouldn’t have to fight the traffic from the Convention Center when bingo was over. Walking from my friend Ed’s place to Casa Dileo, I ran into my first problem, construction work being done on Route 1. I couldn’t walk on the side of the road. Dodging traffic I walked to other side of the road. My cell phone rings. It’s Paul. He wants to know where I’m at. I told him I’m dodging traffic trying to walk to the restaurant. I hang up. My cell phone rings again. It’s my neighbor Barbara calling. She said she wasn’t feeling well so she wouldn’t be joining me. Take note, already I’ve received two bad omens for the night.

I meet Jack and Paul in front of the restaurant. As soon as I walk into the restaurant I’m turned off by the smell. It smelled like I was walking into a garage. I didn’t need to change the oil in my car. What was that smell? I didn’t want to ruin the evening since it was Paul’s suggestion we dine at Casa DiLeo so I said nothing. After we were seated and given our menus, I noticed that this was one of those restaurants that had the same items on the menu, doubled in price for dinner. I could get an Eggplant Parmesan dish, “lunch” price $8.95. The “Dinner” price $15.95. Either it was the same entree, with a jacked up price for dinner or it was a lot more food, neither of which was an option I wanted last night. We agreed to order a pizza and share it.

After dinner, we drove down to the Rehoboth Convention Center for the night’s festivities. I’ve been to a couple of gay bingos before. The first time was a lot of fun because it was new. The second time, well, not so much. Last night? It was boring. Basically gay bingo is every straight person's stereotype of a gay guy calling out the numbers interspersed with raunchy gay themed jokes. The word of the night last night was the four letter Anglo-Saxon word for excrement that begins with S. The bingo caller was much amused by ending just about every sentence with that well known four letter word.

Throughout the audience are about a half a dozen drag queens who checked to make sure you have a bingo when you call out “Bingo!” The joke is, if you call “Bingo!” in error, you have to wear a ratty old drag queen wig. That’s funny the first few times when you see it then it becomes old. It was old last night.

The drag queens had bright, colorful, flashy outfits which they changed several time during the evening. If you're into drag, it may have enjoyed seeing the different gowns and dresses on the slim hipped ladies with Adam's Apples. While it wasn't like checking out Princess Diana's new gowns, it was fascinating to see what new dress and wig Mona Lotts would appear. The guys playing the drag queens were a pretty somber bunch. One would expect more humor and levity but it seemed like they were also tired of the format and would rather have been somewhere else.

The event is a worthy one, it raises money for AIDS charities. It is gives the gay community a chance to assemble in one spot and experience fellowship. However, something odd this year, I only saw one person I slightly knew (introduced one through a mutual friend.) We didn’t see anyone else we knew, NO ONE. That was strange. Maybe our friends were on to something. Maybe they also got tired of the format. Maybe I don't have that many gay friends.

It wouldn’t have been a bad night if one of us could have won at least ONE bingo. But, as is always the case, no one I know wins. The last time I won a bingo was back in 1960 at the service club in Ft. Meade, Maryland. I won a Kingston Trio record album (which I think I still have, not because I like the Kingston Trio – I hate folk songs – but because it was proof I actually won something.) Most of the prizes last night were cash but one prize was a “beauty basket.” That was the prize I came closest to winning (like I needed THAT PRIZE.) If I won that prize I would have donated it back to the cause.

One thing that I find interesting and has always puzzled me when a group of gay men and lesbians gather together is how much the cliques stay intact. There is little if no interaction between the people unless they knew them previously. Yet one can go to straight event and strike up a friendship with straight people much easier. I've never been able to put understand this phenomenon about gay people, their tendency to stay in cliques when out in the public. They cling to their small group of friends. I can understand why lesbians are so insular, they don't want to have anything to do with men. They do quite well with their women friends, thank you. It's the men I don't understand. If you start up a conversation with a stranger, right away they think you're coming on to them. There is little understanding just for a friendship without the sexual connection. This attitude of most gay men is something that has baffled me for you and I'll probably go to my grave never understanding it.

All in all, it was good to have an evening with my friends Paul and Jack but I won’t be going back to gay bingo again. Maybe I’m getting too old for this kind of thing. I remember 30 years ago when I was 37 years old. I was standing in a gay bar (the 247 in Philadelphia) when the bartender started to flick the lights on and off, calling “Last call!” I thought to myself at that time “What am I doing here? I would rather be home in bed.” That’s the way I felt last night. I would have been better off in bed. Actually, I wish I would have to work for Monica. At least I wouldn’t still be burping up that pizza I had last night.

When Good Things Happen to Good People

So often we hear of bad things happening to good people. But, every now and then good things happen to good people.

Yesterday I received an e-mail from a friend I used to work with at the bank in Downingtown, Pennsylvania. Her name is Renee. She is young, smart, funny, and just a delightful person to be around. Even though my gayness, I was attracted to her. Not sexually but because of her effervescent personality and her ability to laugh at herself as well as the absurdities of life around us. Also, I wasn’t totally immune to her beauty and sexy, husky voice. Renee has those special qualities that not all women posses. I knew it was just a matter of time before some smart guy snagged this beautiful woman. Yesterday Renee told me that she is engaged to be married! I am so happy for her.

Renee replaced me in the job I had at the bank when I moved to Delaware. She was unsure if she could do the job but I had no doubt. Renee is the type of person who doesn’t give herself enough credit for how good she really is. She’s doing the job now and doing just fine, as I knew she would.

When we worked together we often went to a Trivia Night at a local bar/eatery called the Brickside Grille. Our group had many good times there. Oh how I miss those times. Ironically, I just got an e-mail from another friend of mine (former classmate, we’re planning our 50th class reunion) who asked me to join them for Trivia Night at the Brickside when I next visit Pennsylvania. I think I will. It’s been about two years (where does the time go?) since our group attending the fun and festivities of a trivia night. We even won a few times. Great fun!

This morning Bill and I went for breakfast at Zorba’s in Rehoboth, thus resuming our weekly tradition of having breakfast out once a week. I’m glad Bill has come out of his depression and we can get back to normal.

This afternoon I meet my friend Jack and Paul at Casa Dileo for dinner then Bingo-a-Go-Go at the Rehoboth Convention Center. My neighbor Barbara is meeting us at the door. I haven’t been able to attend any of these gay bingo events for the past year and a half because of my work schedule. I’m in luck this month because I’m not scheduled to work weekends. I’m really looking forward to a night of fun and laughter and good times. It’s been too long.

Just to put the icing on the cake, the weather has taken a turn from the cold to the mild. As I look out the window to my left I see the bright sun beckoning me outside for a walk. I’m on it. Life if good….again.

Back to Normal

We’re back to normal around here, or at least what passes for normal. I made the first move yesterday morning. I knocked on Bill’s basement bedroom door. Instead of saying “Go away” he said “What do you want?” This is a break. I asked if I could talk to him. Without waiting for an answer I went into his darkened bedroom and asked him a question (which I forget now, but it was to break the ice.) I forget what he said but at least we got the conversation started. Oh, I remember. I asked him to come upstairs in the sun room to enjoy the light. He said he wanted to continue to sit in his room for awhile. The world “awhile” was another break. I told him “Okay” and left him and went upstairs.

About an hour later I went back downstairs again and he was at his computer in his basement office, which adjoins his bedroom. Thus there was a break in the solid frozen over lake of our relationship. I talked to him about some other innocuous things about the house. We talked about our neighbor’s new dog. Bill was still distant but relaxing a bit. He still said he wished he was dead. He frequently says that. He’ll probably outlive me. I returned upstairs to my office and caught up on my e-mail.

Through my Find a Grave web site, a distant relative contacted me regarding my research in our common family tree. At this time of my life my favorite activity (other than taking digital pictures and gardening) is researching my family tree. This lady from Washington State is descended from my great great grandmother Cynthia Lou Rhudy. This is a branch on my family tree of which I have very little information. It is also the only line of my family tree which leads to German and Swiss ancestry. Up until this discovery, all my ancestry has been English and Scotch-Irish. She could help me fill in a lot of empty branches and I could help her. She also put me in contact with another distant relative who also has information on our family tree. We exchanged files yesterday. Finding these distant relatives like this who are also researching our common family tree is one of the joys of my life at this time. It's like find pots of gold at the end of the rainbow. Not only do I get to fill in heretofore unknown branches on my family tree, I'm also discovering more about my family and, in turn, more about myself. Two dreams of the dreams I had when I was a young man, owning my own house and discovering my roots. I have achieved both of those dreams. I was also hoping to find Prince Charming. I did, sort of.

During the past two weeks I have tried to bury myself in this favorite activity of mine, researching and recording my family history. But I wasn’t getting the same pleasure from it that I had in the past. I think a lot of it had to do with the stress and tension of the home situation with Bill. Now that we’re back on track I have my enthusiasm back for digging into my family tree.

I’m looking forward to this weekend’s activity. Four times a year a gay bingo event takes place at the Rehoboth Convention center. I’ve missed these events for the past year and a half because I’ve had to work. However, this weekend I don’t have to work. My friend Paul called and invited me to join him and his friend Jack for dinner then a night of festive fun and laughs at the Bingo – A – Go – Go. I asked my neighbor and friend Barbara to go with me. The weekend is looking good. Who knows, one of us might even win a prize.

I am so relieved that Bill and I are back on track again. The past two weeks have been exhausting. It never gets any easier no matter how many times it happens. It will probably happen again but I'm not going to worry about that now. I'm going to enjoy the moment. Life is good again.