Two Flies In My Bathroom

Every go to sleep knowing there is a fly lurking in your bedroom?  Who hasn't?  

I had the next annoying thing happen to me a few days ago.  After I took a shower I spotted two flies on the wall.  AH HA!  

I quickly got my fly swatter and after a few misses, I dispatched one fly to fly heaven.  Now where was that other fly?  I looked and looked in my bathroom, which isn't all that big, and I couldn't find it.  Okay I thought, I'll take care of that fly later.  

That afternoon, during my daily nap, I was awakened by a light feathered tickling on my nose.  Hmmmm?  I brushed it away.  I fell back asleep only to be awakened a few minutes later by the same light tickle on the side of my nose.  Uh oh, could that be the fly that escaped from my bathroom?  

Back to sleep I went only to be awakened again by those little fly feet walking right under my left eye.  AH HA!  This fly is thinking it hit the jackpot, going to lay some maggot eggs on this old man.  NOT.GOING. TO.HAPPEN.  

I went out to Bill's chair and got our fly swatter.  This was one fly that wasn't going to see another day.  

I went back to bed and pretended to sleep, luring that fly back to my old bones. Didn't take too long until I felt those feather light feet on my cheek.  I swatted the fly with my hand and I got up.  The fly landed on the mirror by my bed.  I got my fly swatter.  I took my aim and I swatted.  I.GOT.IT!  The fly was embedded on my orange fly swatter. DEAD.  

I left the fly on the fly swatter, satisfied with the proof of my kill.  I showed it to Bill but he was unimpressed.  Ah well, now I can take my naps again, minus one annoying fly.

The Flies

A few days ago a cold front rolled in here at Casa Tipton-Kelly.  An interesting occurrence has happened as a result of the drastic change of temperature.  Prior to the cold front we have had an almost unending days of hot and humid weather.  We have had hot and humid all summer but very dry.  However, lately we have had the Perfect Storm in that we have also had a lot of rain.  This combination has produced a LOT OF FLIES. When the cold front rolled in Thursday night, the flies didn't like it.  They retreated for warmer climes.  Unfortunately that "warmer climes" happens to be our garage.

I'm sitting here at my computer typing this blog posting and choking on the bug spray that Bill has sprayed in the garage to kill all those flies.  He said he didn't have a choice since they retreated to his "workshop" for warmth.  In this neighborhood most of the neighbors go in and out of their house through the garage.  I don't think I ever entered our house through the front door.  The only time the front door is use is for the Halloween trick or treaters (and that is coming up isn't it?) and the occasional Fed Ex delivery.  Our neighbor Bob also uses it when he delivers some of his freshly caught and friend fish for Bill.

So Bill is working out of the garage this morning with literally hundreds of flies clinging to ceiling of our garage for warmth.  When I go in and out of the garage I have to take my fly swatter with me to swat away the flies.  I'm a bleeding heart liberal but I have no absolutely no compunction in killing as many flies as I can.  I'm no Albert Schweitzer who cups them in his hands and releases them outside (yep, he did it.  Look it up on Google).  I am ruthless in dispatching flies.  Just call me Ming the Merciless.

Bill says he can't work with all those flies swirling around him.  Poor Bill, he looked like a Somalian refugee this morning.  So he's spraying, and spraying, and spraying.  I'm choking...and choking and...yes...choking.

Life in southern Delaware, this is one of the rare downsides.  Flies.  BEGONE!