Death in the Family

My cousin Randy - 1948 - 2013

Yesterday my cousin Elaine called me to inform me of the unexpected death of her brother Randy.  

I only met Randy once, and that was when I took my Mother to visit his mother (my Mother's sister) at Simpson Meadows in Downingtown.  

Randy was seven years younger than me so we never knew each other growing up.  I knew his older brother and sister who were nearer my age.

However, whenI met Randy in October of 2004 at Simpson Meadows, I knew we clicked immediately.  He cared for his Mother the same way I cared for my Mom.  We both knew we were among the fortunate few to have such wonderful Mothers.  Which is an irony, because my Mother and Aunt Jeanette's mother died when they were both young.  And yet, they both were such wonderful Mothers.

Randy with his Mom (and my Aunt) - 2004

After we visited our Mothers, Randy and I went to lunch.  As it is with someone you click with, we had no lack of conversation.  

After lunch that day I made a mental note that I had to stay in touch with Randy more often.  But you know how it is when life interferes.  Even though we exchanged Christmas cards every year, I never did see Randy again.  

Then I got the call yesterday from Elaine telling me her brother died unexpectedly.  Elaine (one of my very favorite cousins) and I talked about an hour about everything.  She was in shock and I was too.  Just this morning the enormity of this loss has finally begun to sink in.  

Lately I've been thinking of posting the many photos I have of me with family members and friends who are no longer here.  However, I dismissed that notion as to depressing.  But after this latest loss, I just may do that.  This blog is my therapy and I have to be honest with you, I am pretty well down in the dumps now over this latest loss.  It is sort of overwhelming.  I just can't imagine what his family is going through now.  Sad times again.  

Randy, his Mom and me October 2004 in happier times - both gone now

Aunt Jeanette

Aunt Jeanette was one of my Mother's older sisters.  She died last Friday at the age of 94.  The last several years she suffered from dementia.  Both my Mother (who died at the age of 86 in September 2010) and her other older sister Grace (who died at the age of 89 in January 2006) also suffered from dementia.

Jeanette Hickman Hadfield - circa 1935

My Aunt Jeanette was one of the most gentle, kind women I've ever known.  She and my Mother and their sister Grace were very close.  The last time they were all together was when I took my Mother (who was well then) to visit Aunt Jeanette at Simpson Meadows in 2005.  My cousin Jackie Tinder brought his mother Grace in town for the funeral of my Uncle George Reynolds, Aunt Jeanette's husband.

Aunt Jeanette and Uncle George Reynolds - 1939

Before we attended the funeral we all stopped (my cousin Jackie Tinder and his wife Arlene; my cousin Elaine Reynolds (Jeanette's daughter) by to visit Aunt Jeanette at Simpson Meadows in Downingtown.  I think Aunt Jeanette knew who we were.  I am glad I was able to arrange the visit.  I did not know this would be the last time we would all be together.

Three Hadfield sisters - my Mom Betty, Ruthie, and Jeanette 1938

I have very fond memories of my Aunt Jeanette.  When I was about ten years old my Mom sent me to live with Aunt Jeanette and Uncle George at their home in Westwood, Pennsylvania.  Oh how I remember that summer.  They lived near the Capitol Bakery.  Every day the smell of fresh baked bread wafted through the summertime air.

Aunt Jeanette and her son Bruce at the home where I spent one summer in the Fifties - 1956 this picture

I had my own bedroom. This was a treat for me because the apartment I lived in Downingtown I had to share a bed with my two younger brothers.  And you all know (if you are a regular reader of this blog) how I feel about sleeping with someone.

Aunt Jeanette was so kind to me.  I remember her trimming her rose bushes outside her house on those warm summer days.  I remember being treated as a special guest (I always have liked to be pampered).

Me, my cousins, my Mother (in pink) and my aunts at Simpson Meadows - 2005

It wasn't until many years later that I found out why I was "shipped out" that summer.  My Mother told me that she had a nervous breakdown taking care of me and my two younger brothers (apparently we were a handful at that age) and she needed bed rest.  She sent my two brothers to live with another aunt.  I got to live with Aunt Jeanette and Uncle George and their children Elaine and George, Jr.

Me, Aunt Jeanette and my Mom at Simpson Meadows - 2009
My Mom died a year later.  This was the last time we saw Aunt Jeanette

From those years in the early Fifties, I didn't see too much of Aunt Jeanette until the late 90's when I would take my Mother to visit her.  Other times I would see here was at the funeral of my grandfather, their father.  The times I did see her Aunt Jeanette was always the kind, sweet woman that I remembered from my youth.

Thus it was with some sadness that I received the news that she had passed away on Friday, August 10th.

Yet another piece of my life gone.  If there is a Heaven, then those "Hadfield Girls" (as my cousin Jackie used to call them because they were so close) are together now enjoying each other's company in Heaven the way they did on earth.

George L. Hadfield Family - 1923
Jeanette, Randall, George, Sr., George, Jr. , Ethel, Grace
(my Mother is in the picture, her mother is pregnant with her, hiding her pregnancy behind her oldest daughter Grace)

Rest in peace Aunt Jeanette.

My cousin Randy (Aunt Jeanette's son), Aunt Jeanette and me visiting her at Simpson Meadows - she kept getting us mixed up because we both had beards - that's why she's laughing