Roads Not Taken Part One

Front cover of my yearbook - 1959

From my vantage point in life now I look back with interest and see the roads that I didn't take when I had the opportunity.  I also see the roads that I did take and wonder what why life would be like now had I not taken those roads.

Me in the "Center Square" - our high school yearbook photo and yes, that is me standing in the doorway 1959

Perhaps the first road I chose to take was when I quit my bookkeeping class when I was unfairly accused of helping some of my classmates to cheat.  This one day I had forgotten and left my book and homework home.  My teacher, Mr. King, knew there was cheating going on in his class, which there was.  However, I wasn't involved.  I never cheated in class in my life, a fact that most find hard to believe but it is true.  I just never saw the benefit of cheating, especially risking my reputation for integrity to help fellow classmates who were to lazy to do their homework.

Mr. King called on me and I told him I had forgotten my homework.  I must have been the straw that broke the camel's back

because he erupted and blasted me in front of the whole class. Up until that morning, Mr. King and I had gotten along just fine.

I tried to explain to him that I had really forgotten my homework but he didn't want to hear it.  I left class angry and frustrated.  

I saw our guidance counselor Mr. Kline, who was totally worthless.  We all knew it but what other choice did I have?  As expected I got nowhere with Mr. Kline, he sided with Mr. King.  I forget, but there was some kind of punishment involved.  There was no way I was going to be punished for something I didn't do and something they couldn't prove.  I decided then and there to quit Bookkeeping.  I was a senior and had enough credits to graduate so I didn't need Bookkeeping credits to graduate from high school.

My report card for 12th grade - note that my Bookkeeping grades ceased halfway through the year

And that folks is when the fit hit the shan.  I was told "You can't do that!"  Oh yeah, watch me.  I wasn't about to take blame for something that I DID NOT DO.  Especially when I knew there were classmates of mine who WERE cheating.  Why not go after them?  Of course I was asked to identify them but I wasn't about to rat on anyone.  Because I wouldn't squeal is probably why their attitude hardened on me. Hey, I have to live with my classmates.  I wasn't going to be the stool pigeon.

The next few weeks went by in a blur.  Mr. Cline, the waste that he was, insisted that I could not quit Bookkeeping.  He contacted my Mother, who agreed with him!  I told her that I was quitting.  I was adamant.  I quit.  I told them all "Just watch me."  

Well of course I won the battle but lost the war.  I quit Bookkeeping and did graduate.  But this is where my decision changed my life forever.  Because I quit Bookkeeping I wasn't eligible for the student work program.    That's where Commercial Course students got to work at a local business for half a year and attend their high school senior class for half a year.  I was fucked (although I didn't used the "F" word at that time - didn't find out about that all purpose word until I joined the Army the next year).  

So here is how my decision affected the course of my life from there on out.  When I graduated from high school I didn't have a job.  I couldn't get a job.  I had to join the Army.  And therein begins the next chapter of my life, The Journey of Ronald W. Tipton.  Stay tuned.  

Just Do It!

Girard Bank, Trust Operations Department Philadelphia 1984
Where I worked as a manager

There comes a time in all of our lives in which we question is this what we want to be doing with our lives?  This was brought to my attention again this morning when reading a posting of a fellow blogger.  He was returning from vacation and made note that most of his friends either were retired or living off of some allowance.  In other words, they weren't working. He said he was envious.

Me, the Manager - Girard Bank, Philadelphia, PA

I felt the same way twenty-five years ago when my good friend Big Bob finally decided to leave is secure and well paying job at a brokerage house in Philadelphia.  I have known Bob since my Army days in 1960.  We met often for lunch.  At that time I worked for a big city bank a couple of blocks away for where he worked at his brokerage house.  We both had the good paying, prestigious jobs that our parents dreamed we would have.  I liked my job, I had a great boss and was well paid. We were living the American Dream.  We were not happy.

Me and my friend during one of our many lunches when we worked in Philadelphia

For years my friend agonized over whether or not to leave his job.  Then came the day he left.  He had bought 22 acres of rural woodland in Sussex County, Delaware.  He wanted to change his life.  All he had on that 22 acres of woodland was a shed for tools.  His plan to start his own business as a handyman at $8.00 an hour.  No more dealing with diva brokers, no more dealing with the daily commute to and from Philadelphia, no more getting home late and collapsing only to get up the next morning to do it all over again.  Finally he would be his own man.

Bob made the plunge. For the first two weeks he barely came out of his windowless shed.  He was convinced he made the biggest mistake of his life.  However, after two weeks he came out to do a small handyman job.  I knew he was good at what he did and I told him that once he started to do his work, word would get around and he would't have a problem earning money doing handyman work.  Of course he would never make what he made at his job in Philadelphia but he would have a Life.

It wasn't long until he brought a used single wide trailer.  Not too long after that he had a well installed and running water.  For the past thirty years he has lived there (now in a double wide) with his partner of 27 years.  He has never been happier.

My friend's "castle" - his single wide in the woods of southern Delaware

My own story is similar.  I also had the daily commute job to and from Philadelphia.  I envied my friend for taking the plunge and changing his life but I wasn't quite ready to do it myself.  But one hot and humid summer day, as I stood on the train platform at Suburban station waiting for the conductor to open up the train cars so I could go home I made The Decision.  I too would leave my well paying, prestigious and secure job for the Unknown.  Within a few months I did leave and I have never looked back.  I have never been happier.

Are we rich?  Not in dollars but I have my freedom.  I have a Life.

When I informed Bill (my partner) that I quit my job he got physically sick.  I had told him some years before to quit his job because I was earning enough money to take care of both of us.  Now I quit my job, how were we going to survive?  Bill was so sick he went to bed.  My Mother had the same reaction.  She felt as if I destroyed my life.  She also was sick.  I wasn't.  Was I nervous?  Scared?  You better believe it.  But I knew I was doing the right thing.  I knew I was healthy and would find something.

I quit my job at the bank in Philadelphia in 1986.  It has been quite a ride to say the least since then.  I worked at a few other banks and even at once time worked for $8.50 an hour on a businesswomen's estate mowing her grass and planting flowers.  I worked for a while as a consultant on my previous experience as a bank operations manager.  Then I found the job I have now, hotel front desk clerk.

Me working at the Hampton Inn, Lionville, PA 2000

I work now part-time.  I want to work part-time.  I will always work part-time as long as my health holds out.  I love meeting people and I like the unpredictability of working at a hotel.  I've always loved that aspect of the job.  I like the people I work with.  I like the location (near the water) where I work. I also like earning the extra money, while not a lot, does enable me to splurge occasionally on myself and gifts to friends and family.

I have a good life.  None of this would have been possible if I was afraid to take that First Step and quit my job.  I can think of all kinds of cliches here.  "Nothing ventured, nothing gained."  "You only live once." 

The best advice I can give to anybody who is feeling the need for a change but feels trapped, is just do it.  Make the change.  No one can do it but you.

I know of other people who have made the Change.  None of them has regretted it.  In fact they all have the same response "I wish I had done it sooner."  

Me in Delaware, not a corporate bigwig but HAPPY!

Some people move to another part of the country or even another country like France!  Some others adopt  children they always wanted.  Are these changes scary?  You bet!  But how do you want to live your life?  Working five days a week with a couple of weeks off every year to take a quick holiday that is over much too soon?  Just remember, there is no reward that doesn't have some risk. You have to have faith and confidence in yourself if you want to change your life.  And only you can make that decision.