Happy Birthday Bill!

 

Bill Kelly River Drive, Philadelphia, PA 1966

Guess who is 94 years young today? My husband of fifty-eight years, Bill Kelly!

Bill can't believe that he's 94. One of the nurses last week told him he only had six more years to go until he gets a letter from the president of the United States congratulating him on reaching his 100th birthday. Well, I don't know about that. But hey, the chances are he'll reach that unbelievable goal more than me reaching 94 years of age. With so many of my friends now gone, I don't think I would even want to live if all my friends were gone. I don't have that many left.

I have to admit I am grateful that Bill is still here. Today was shower day (yes, I still have to give him a shower every three days), which is always a workout, but we've acclimated ourselves to our new lifestyle.  I am Bill's caregiver.  Bill is legally blind and has some cognitive issues and weak but he's still Bill. He hasn't lost his personality. He can't do the things he used to which used to so frustrate him but he's accepted (more or less) his status in life. We have our routine pretty well worked out now which is mostly comfortable for both of us. As I've said many times before, my only worry now is that he will out live me but I don't worry as much now about that happening as I used to. If I should go first, Bill won't be long behind me. But you never know. In that case Pat, the VA and my grandniece Lyndsay will see that Bill is taken care of.

It is ironic that Bill has reached the grand old age of 94 given that his father Clarence died at 21 years of age in a drunk driving accident. It's like Bill is making up for all those years that his father missed. 

We have nothing special planned for Bill's birthday today. I used to give him a birthday card but we stopped exchanging cards when he lost his eyesight to macular degeneration. He only sees shadows now. It's sad but he only sees me as a shadow, he can't look into my eyes. Nor can I look into his eyes. When I do they seem empty and that's because he has lost the central vision out of his eyes. He only has peripheral vision. 

Bill and I have been together 58 years now. We've seen a lot and done a lot in that time span. These days I treasure each day that is pain free and peaceful with Bill. Both of us are ready at any time to ease into that Final Journey into Eternal Rest. 

Happy birthday Bill! I hope we're here next year to celebrate  your 95th birthday.

Bill "Buddy" Kelly about 1932

Friends

Happy birthday Howard!

My longtime friend celebrated his birthday a couple of days ago. I made this short video of some old photos and recent photos and videos that I had of him. I love making these "music" videos. I just wish I had more time to do them. 

I met Howard way back in 1979 when I used to visit my longtime friend Bob McC. who I met when I was attending ASA Training School in Ft. Devens, Mass in 1960. I used to visit Bob's place when he lived in southern Delaware in the late 70's.  Bob also lived and worked near Philadelphia as I did during that long ago time. He was still in the closet at that time.  He let his hair down by spending the weekends getting drunk at his single wide trailer on twenty-acres of wooded land outside Georgetown Delaware. Oh the bacchanals we used to have those wild weekends. One fo the pictures you see if of me cutting my birthday cake on my 39th birthday. The first and only surprise party I ever had in my life!  And yes, I was surprised. You'll see Howard (blonde hair) in the background along with my boyfriend at that time of my life, "Fuzzy" (the bespectacled bearded guy also in the background). 

Over the years I lost touch with Howard (strictly a platonic relationship by the way.  When our mutual friend Bob died five years ago, we rekindled our friendship when I met Howard at Bob's memorial service. 

At the end of the video you'll see one of my Old Time Photo excursions. Since the pandemic I haven't been able to organize one of those fun events but I'm thinking of doing one again.  

Friends are so important in our quality of life. Hopefully, now that the vaccinations are causing the pandemic to recede in our rearview mirror we can renew these in person friendships and I can create more memories with my photos and videos.

Reflections on Marching to 78 Years Old

77 year old Ron -fading away but still look better than Mitch McConnell who I am older than!

The birthday celebrations are over folks! Well, actually there were no birthday celebrations. But that is just fine, I prefer quiet birthdays.  I'm not one for surprise birthday parties or any birthday parties.  I've had a few in my lifetime.  While I appreciate the effort my friends put into the parties, I'm just as happy to have a quiet passage of yet another year. 

Now this may surprise you but I'm not sad at growing older.  I know my years left are a lot less than I have to live.  Doesn't make me sad. When I was young I was concerned that when I became an old man no one would want me.  No one would like me.  You know what?  Your view of the world changes when you become old.  At least my view has changed.  

I still find it hard to believe that I am this age.  That I have outlived so many of my friends, former co-workers and family.  When I was younger, I never expected to make it past sixty years of age.  In fact, would consider myself very lucky if I reached that grand old age of sixty.  

I remember when I first started going to gay bars when I was twenty-one years old.  I was warned by friends "Don't go into THAT bar, that's a "wrinkle bar."  I asked "What's a wrinkle bar?"  I was told that was a bar "where all the old queens gathered."  I thought, "Would I be one of those old queens gathering with other old queens lamenting about our lost youth?"  Of course I avoided those Wrinkle Bars like a plague.  I certainly didn't want to be associated with one of THOSE bars.  

The first person I was intimate with was twenty-nine years to my twenty-one years old.  I remember at the time thinking I was doing him "a favor" because he was "so old."  Can you believe it!?  Of course I like the guy and thought he was hot but still, to my youthful foolishness at that time I thought he was an old man.  Then I met Bill, the man I've been living with the past fifty-four years. He was their-five to my twenty-two years old.  Man oh man, he was OLD.  Almost old enough to be my father.  Now Bill is ninety to my seventy-seven, we're both old men. Doesn't make a difference. 

Now here's something that I thought would never happen in my life. I'm not actually attracted to young men.  Oh sure, I find them attractive but for me to hunger after one of them?  Not in my DNA now, for which I am so thankful for.  I am way more attracted to my Canadian Travel Buddy Pat, who I think is incredibly hot.  Even after five years of knowing him, he is one sexy guy!  Nice guy too.  Maybe that's why I find him so attractive.  Young guys like a forty-five or fifty year old?  Nothing. And even younger?  That's laughable for which I an SO THANKFUL.  I remember seeing this one old guy in the bars when I was young lusting after the young guys.  I was concerned tat that time that I would be that old man.  Thank you God for not letting that happen to me.

Today is the first day of my 78th year.  I'm not as limber as I was sixty years ago.  I need a nap every day.  My stomach is more sensitive.  My body aches every day from the onset of arthritis. I have a respiratory condition which is very bothersome.  I have an extra heartbeat for which I take medication.  I take a daily pill for my prostate, for which I an now a five year survivor of prostate cancer. I've suffered more bouts of kidney stones than I can remember and have an appointment next week with my urologist who is monitoring a kidney stone that is ready to fall.  I only have half my teeth.  My eye doctor told me my cataracts are coming.  You get the idea, I'm slowly falling apart.  But I'm still here folks and living a comfortable life.  

No complaints here folks. Any regrets?  Oh sure but I chalk them all up to a learning experience.  

That's life folks!  

Happy Birthday Dr. Spo!

Today is my dear friend Dr. Spo's 56th birthday.  

This is my personalized "card" that I made for him from his annual birthday video that he posted today.  Dr. Spo is very animated when he talks. This video is of his many faces. If you want to see his video and hear his soothing voice, click on the link to his blog here.

I started blogging in 2005 as therapy.  I write as self therapy.  

When I started to blog I also hoped that I would meet new friends. I didn't put a lot of hope in that because of my past experience "looking" for friends and not just letting "it happen."

Well folks, I have made several very good friends through my blogging. 

I know some disparage and discount making friends through the Internet. But folks, here we are in the digital age. It's time to expand our horizons from meeting and making new friends from our workplace, neighborhood, schools and church. 

Yes. these are stressful times we live in but also wonderful times. I just cannot imagine my life without friends like Dr. Spo.

Happy birthday dear friend, I wish you many more birthdays of happiness.

Happy Birthday Mom!

Mom with the Christmas Teddy Bear I gave her December 2001

Today would have been my Mom's 92nd birthday. 

Mom loved flowers. You could never go wrong giving her flowers

Yes, my Mom was a Christmas Eve Baby. 

Mom with her "November Baby" - ME! - 1942

She died September 10, 2010.  

Me with my Mom at the University of Pennsylvania Hospital, Philadelphia, PA - her last years were a constant series of doctor's appointments - here she is filling out a questionnaire before a procedure 

Six years ago.  

Mom and me - 1946 - I was a heavy thinker at an early age

I miss her every day.

Mom with her sister-in-law and best friend (both worked at Pepperidge Farm), Mabel
Mom had the best smile

One of the comforts I am looking forward to when I die is that this pain will no longer be with me.

Mom with Pop - the love of her (and his) life - married 62 years

Happy birthday Mom!

Mom with Tiger (Pop's dog) and her cat (and guardian) Rusty - Rusty died shortly after my Mom of a broken heart

Mom (far right) with Bill and my brother John and his family - dinner at our Philadelphia house 1968

Remembering a December Birthday

Jim and Pat helping Bob in his wheel chair last year at the assisted living facility where he and Jim lived.  

A few days ago, December 10th, would have been my longtime friend Bob's 78th birthday.  For over a half a century I always sent a birthday card or took Bob out for lunch or dinner on his birthday.  I won't be doing that this year because he died this past year.  

Most of my friend's birthdays are in December.  My Mother's birthday was December 24th.  My former boss and longtime friend Bill P.'s birthday is December 20th.  Another longtime friend, Bill B. (I have a lot of "Bill" friends) birthday is also December 24th.  My dear neighbor Barbara's birthday is December 9th.  My new good friend Pat's birthday is December 29th. And the December birthdays of my friends, former co-workers and relatives goes on.  March must of been a very fertile month.  

But every year for the rest of my life December 10th will always hold a special time in my life.  Bob may be gone but I will always celebrate his birthday in my heart.  

Happy birthday Bob. 

Happy Birthday!

Pat on the Kalmar Nyckel this past August

I know somebody who has a birthday today.  Happy birthday Pat!

Pat on FaceTime this morning receiving my "Happy Birthday!" greeting - 65 years young today!

Pat is my Canadian friend who happened to stumble across my blog last summer.  He saw a photo on the Internet testifying before the Delaware State legislature for Marriage Equality. 

The photo of me that was splashed on the Internets that caught Pat's eye - I think it was the sport jacket - I never wear a jacket unless I'm testifying before a government committee (which is to say never)

Intrigued, Pat did a little research and found my blog "Retired in Delaware"(the same one you're reading now) and discovered that we had a lot in common. 

 

Pat and I at the Brickside Grill in Downingtown, Pennsylvania - Trivia Night!

I invited him down for next year's Bloggerpalooza (as I do all my blog readers - hear that?).  I also invited him down for an Old Time photo which he took me up on. He came down this past August and we took that photo!

 

We discovered immediately that we have a lot in common.  In fact I think I found my alter ego.  All the grains of sand that are people in the world and I found someone who is so like me and Pat found someone who is so like him.  Imagine that?  So there you go all you naysayers who say we spend too much time on the Internet and not enough time getting to know folks around us.

Pat in the lobby of Hotel Blue where he stayed during his visit to Dela-Where?

Just a few minutes ago I read a blog posting by another friend of mine who I met through the Internets, Dr. Spo.  The subject of his posting was "why is it so hard to make friends in the neighborhood where you live?"  You know folks, that my question too.  I've lived in southern Delaware now since 2006 and have only made a few friends, even though this is one of the heaviest gay couple (4th) populated areas in the country.  I don't have an answer, wish I did.  However, this I do know, I (and Bill) have made a good friend with Pat and it wouldn't have been possible if not for the Internet.  In fact, I've made more friends through my blog and the Internet than I have made here in little ole Gayberry.  Go figure.  

So anyway, happy birthday Pat!  

Pat and me at the Love sign during our visit to Philadelphia in November for MY birthday

Ron and Lar in Rehoboth Beach 2012

Coming up on another year when I treat my longtime friend Lar to a lunch and old time photo in Rehoboth Beach.  

When Lar and I met, 3rd grade 1951 - Larry is in the third row in the back, second from the left (right in front of our teacher Miss Ezrah) - I am in the third row in the back far right next to Margaret West, the tall girl with the braided hair

Larry met me in third grade after he called me out to our teacher Miss Ezrah on plagiarizing a book report from a Scrooge McDuck comic book story.  What did I know?  After class he saw me on the playground and thought I was going to poke him in the nose.  Instead I said "You have comic books to trade?"  I don't remember this incident but it sounds like me, the Opportunist.

Larry and I with our third grade teacher in 2004 - she was 98 years old and still remembered us!

  Lar made this iMovie of a video we both took last year celebrating his 70th birthday.  

Larry (far left), his date Pam and me (far right) 1959 - this was when I was at my heaviest 200 lbs

By the way, you'll notice that I'm trying to agitate Lar.  After 60 plus years, he is immune to my agitating.  I keep trying though.  

Larry and I at the Purple Parrot in Rehoboth Beach 2011