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| AAUGH! |
My friend Pat told me last night he's going to see a new movie today. I asked "Which one?" He says "Lucy." So immediately I think "Oh, about Lucille Ball?" Uh . . . no. Then I think "Is it Lucy of Charlie Brown fame? The one who keeps pulling the football away from Charlie just as he's about to kick it?" (the Story of my Life by the way). He says "No." Sooooooo . . . I put "Lucy" in my Internet browser and this is what I get:
Scarlett Johansson?
The same Scarlett Johansson named SEXIEST WOMAN ALIVE by Esquire magazine not once but (are you sitting down) TWICE. Once in 2006 and once last year 2013.
Excuse me, I know I'm gay and to whom I'm sexually attracted to doesn't travel the Blonde Woman Road but . . . . WHAT?
Is it me or am I the only one who DOESN'T GET SCARLETT JOHANSSON?
Sexy to me is:
Hedy Lamarr
Marilyn Monroe
Elizabeth Taylor
Sophia Loren
Even as a 100% gay men, these women, in their prime, caused this gay man to stop and take notice. At times I actually felt faint (very) stirrings of desire (yikes)!
Now before any of you Scarlett Johansson fans take umbrage (i.e., get your nose out of joint), I don't know Scarlett. I have no doubt that she is a very nice person. At least I haven't heard any of those typical celebrity horror stories, "Do you KNOW who I am?" about her.
Of course the obvious answer to that pompous and arrogant question is "No, have you forgotten?"
Folks, I'm sure that Scarlett is a WONDERFUL person but here's my question:
WHY.IS.SHE.IN.EVERY.OTHER.MOVIE?
WTF?
This is the problem I have with Hollywood. They get a "bankable" star and then they put them in just about every friggen movie. What happens if one doesn't want to see the twice voted Sexiest Woman Alive in a movie because she reminds one of Miss Piggy?
So Pat asks me "Then I guess you're not going to see this movie?" Uh . . . . . no.
I'm about as likely to see this movie as I am to see the next Brad Pitt (he of the ever changing hair doo) movie, another "Sexiest Person Alive" that I don't get and who also appears in just about every other movie.
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Sexy? I don't get it. (about as sexy as a blonde possum) |
Same with old Snaggle Tooth, Tom "Who Cares if He's Gay" Cruise.
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| I never "got" this one either. |
Maybe it's me folks. Maybe I'm an old fuddy duddy after all. Maybe I'm one of those Angry Old Men.
Do you think?
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| John McCain - Angry Old Man - "I can't believe I lost the election to . . . . . Brrrrrrack OBAMA!" |
