Wedding Announcement

Wedding announcement that appeared in today's Cape Gazette, our local newspaper thus informing everyone, inclusive and non-inclusive that Bill and I are ONE now

Hey folks!  There are two things I never expected to see in my lifetime.  

One was my participation in a beauty contest (my gay male friends will understand this).

The second "thing" was my wedding announcement in a local newspaper.  The thought never occurred to me, not all.

But then a Funny Think Happened on the Way to the Forum.

Delaware, this wonderful, loving, all inclusive state that I live in done when and passed a Marriage Equality bill thus enabling me to officially marry my long time (49 years) lover, partner, William Daniel Kelly.

So when the law became effective July 1st, Bill and I strode right down to the Sussex County Courthouse in Georgetown and got our marriage license.  We joined many other couples, male and female, who were also there to convert their civil unions into marriages.  It was a wonderful day that July 1st.

On July 3rd, our 49th anniversary we were married.  We were officially now OUT, much to Bill's chagrin, who has always preferred to remain under the radar but not now.  We're out there baby, showing the world that two old gay guys, who are not the Usual Suspects in the Gay Cause (we don't dress up as nuns in drag 

or leather queens to march in annual Gay Pride parades), can do their part to make life better for those gay couples who will follow us after we're long gone.  I know, I know, that was a long sentence but hey, waiting 49 years to get married?  Talk about a long "sentence."  

We've all seen the usual gay activists faces from places like Camp Rehoboth plastered all over the news media every time there is a forward motion in the Gay Cause.  They have helped a lot and their work and effort is much appreciated however I thought I would do something a little different to further the Gay Cause.  Me and Bill, two quiet, non-bar attending, no Gayla Balls or gay cruises and definitely no walks on the boardwalk with pink boas camping it up, thus reinforcing gay stereotypes; I thought that we two, old, non-flashy, and definitely not campy gay men would show the world that there are more like us than Them.  We're just two human beings, who happen to be the same sex, living out our lives in a quiet neighborhood with our mostly straight neighbors.  

Me, Bill and our dear friends Jack and Judy D. who graciously served as our witnesses - nary a pink boa in sight. The only pink was our pink carnation boutonnieres.   

I think of all those young gay boys and girls who feel that they either should come out as flaming queens or butch bull dykes, with no option in between.  Well, I'm here to tell these young folks there is another option.  You can live your life just the way you want to, and not feel obligated to live it according to either straight stereotypes or even gay stereotypes.  You can just be you.  Live openly, get married and have your marriage announcement printed in the newspaper without going through the conduit of the local gay organization.  Not that there is anything wrong with gay organizations, but I think we should move forward to the day when wedding announcements like ours can be placed in the newspaper just like straight couples.  I think we should move forward to the day when we as gay men and women are fully integrated into the straight community around us to the time when a wedding announcement like ours that appeared in the newspaper today is no longer an anomaly but just a routine wedding announcement.

Happily married men

Next up, I attempt to have our wedding announcement placed in my hometown newspaper in Pennsylvania.  Now this is really going to be a challenge.  Pennsylvania is one of those states that has passed a law banning same sex marriages.  To place an ad in my former hometown newspaper in Pennsylvania I have to pay.  I will call next week when the woman who handles the ads returns from vacation.  This is going to be interesting because to place a wedding announcement in that newspaper, I will have to pay.  Let's see if the newspaper's economics (money) wins out over their reticence to offend their conservative readers.  Should be interesting folks and I will definitely keep you all posted.  As they say, "Stay tuned...."

Not us.

Getting the Ring

Me checking out wedding rings yesterday at B.J.'s 

Yesterday Bill and I went shopping for the ring.  Yes folks, that time is finally here.  The two old gay guys shopping for a wedding ring.  

July 3rd will mark the 49th anniversary of the day I met Bill at the Westbury Bar in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania.  I went home with him that night (after he literally swept me off of my feet) and we have been together ever since.  Sure, there have been a few bumps along the road of Our Journey but what relationship doesn't have those ups and downs?  Yep, the past 49 years have been a roller coaster but never once have we stopped loving one another.  

Yesterday Bill came out of his weeklong funk which was caused by our disagreement over who drives the car last Sunday when we made a trip to Pennsylvania.  We're back on board again.

Yesterday we went shopping for The Ring.  We only need one ring because I have my wedding ring.  I bought it in 1970 in lieu of a real wedding ring. For those of you who know me it is that gold band with a single solitary diamond that I've worn for years.  Yep, that is my wedding ring.  But we needed a ring for Bill.

We first stopped at B.J.'s in Millsboro. Saw a few nice rings but they were TOO EXPENSIVE.  Then we went to Dover and stopped at this Pawn Shop that we had visited several years ago.  We found the perfect ring for Bill.  White gold with three diamonds in a channel setting.  

We had to size the ring to Bill's big finger.  We pick up the ring this Wednesday.  

Tomorrow we're going to try and pick up our marriage license in Georgetown.  I don't know if there will be a crowd of LGBT couples there or not since most of the high profile couples already got their civil unions last year.  Those civil unions will automatically convert into marriages next July 1st.  If it is too much of a hassle tomorrow, we'll just go back later in the week or next week.  We don't have to be first in the forefront, we just want to get married.

I think it is appropriate that we got Bill's wedding ring in Dover.  All the years he was in the Air Force and Dover was where I testified twice for marriage equality in Delaware.  

Hey folks, it's finally happening.  Still pinching myself to make sure I'm not dreaming!

Thank You Mr. President

No one was more surprised than me when president Obama mentioned "Stonewall" in his inaugural speech.  I have a DVR and I had to rewind and make sure he actually said "Stonewall." 

"We, the people, declare today that the most evident of truths -- that all of us are created equal -- is the star that guides us still; just as it guided our forebears through Seneca Falls, and Selma, and Stonewall..." he said.

"Seneca Falls" - women's rights

"Selma" - black civil rights

"Stonewall" - gay civil rights

Equality March Washington D. C. October 2009

For the first time in the history of presidential inaugural speeches the president of the United States acknowledged and affirmed the existence of my gay brothers and sisters and their role in the American Experience.

Proud LGBT folks at the Equality March in Washington D.C. 2009

Most of the people I know hate president Obama.  To this day I'm not sure why other than they hate the fact that a black man and his family inhabits the White House.  I hate to attribute such crudity and ignorance to those friends and relatives of mine that I care about but I know of no other explanation.  Oh sure, they talk about the "Socialist President" and the "President From Kenya."  I still don't understand the depth of their hatred.  I just can't hate that much.

In my lifetime I can remember when most of the people of this country hated gay people this much and more, even to the extent that once a gay person came out he or she was in danger of losing their life.  I think a lot of this hatred came from ignorance.  Of a fear that "their" way of life would end if they or their family was exposed to gays they would be contaminated.  I don't want to get into too much of the psyche of why people act the way they do but I am so thankful that, in my lifetime, we have a man who is the president of this country who doesn't despise us or just ignore us.  Us being gay people like me. 

"It is now our generation’s task to carry on what those pioneers began. For our journey is not complete until our wives, our mothers, and daughters can earn a living equal to their efforts. Our journey is not complete until our gay brothers and sisters are treated like anyone else under the law -- for if we are truly created equal, then surely the love we commit to one another must be equal as well."

The Rehoboth contingent at the Equality March Washington D.C. 2009

Thank you president Obama for recognizing me and my gay brothers and sisters as a full and equal Americans.

Me at the Equality March in Washington D. C. 2009 - 30 years after I attended the first Equality March in 1979