This morning, while scrolling through my photo library I came across this instructional video I took of a hospice worker showing Bill how to get in bed.
Now remember, Bill hasn't used his bed in years. He slept in his recliner, fully clothed every night. But his hospice worker decided that he should use his bed. Bill didn't want to use his bed but we did want to cooperate with his health care worker.
The reason I'm posting this video is that it reminds me of Bill's unique personality and how much I miss him. He could be irascible and ornery at times but he was my Bill. I loved him so much. I am so glad I took this video even though he never put these "bed" instructions to use even after she left.
This video was taken October 31, 2023. Bill died the following February 22, 2024 at the hospice center in Milford. He died in a bed. But he wasn't aware of where he was because when he left our home three days prior to his death, he was unconscious and never regained his conscientious.
I treasure these videos I have of him. Oh how I loved that man and how he loved me. Something we had for almost sixty years of our life. We were so fortunate to have each other. I love Pat too but our love is much different than the love Bill and I had for each other.
4 comments:
My mom died on Monday 30 September 2024 at the ripe age of 97 (9:45pm). She had dementia and was confined to a wheelchair and really couldn't lift herself out of the wheelchair for the last 4 years she was confined, because of a fall where she broke her hip an ankle. In the beginning she still had the strength to stand up and lay in bed properly, like the hospice worker is showing Bill. Your little video oddly brings back some good memories of my mom in the last years of her life. Thanks for sharing this with us.
Joel,
Please accept my condolences on the loss of your mom. I was lucky that Bill didn't have dementia. There were periods where his brain was short circuiting and that was what eventually killed him (vascular). I'm glad watching my short video of Bill complaining about being shown how to lie in his bed (which he didn't use for years) brought back good memories of your mom. Both Bill and your mom are in a better place now, whether there is an afterlife or not, because they are no longer in discomfort and suffering.
Ron
Well , it is not common people sleep in a recliner and stay dressed for years , def not at old age .
So this hospice worker did her very best to explane how to do it .
But Bill is not open to any advice given . And he never used the bed .
You can call it love when you see him like this , when you don't know the person it comes across as very worrisome .
Anonymous,
Both my late brother, his wife and his daughter have been sleeping in recliners for years. Bill slept in his recliner for years. The last three years of his life, when I was his caretaker, I changed his clothes (Depends) daily, first thing in the morning. The hardest part was taking off his jeans and then putting them back on but we did it every day. Every third day I helped him in the shower. I maintained his dignity by not dressing him in sweatpants like many old men do. We joked about it. Bill used to use his bed up until about eight years ago but sleeping prone was too difficult for him as it was for my brother and his wife and daughter. I am a firm believer in what works for you rather than what societal norms dictate. I stopped wearing grease in my hair way back in the early Sixties. Just didn't make sense to me.
Ron
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