This morning was particularly bad for caregiving. It was Shower Day (every third day) which is always a challenge. Bill just doesn't want a shower but he needs one. Never again will I have him going to the hospital and they have to give me fungus medicine for parts of his body. Bill just is not good a personal hygiene. A terrible thing to say and a "deal breaker" for some of the readers of this blog but remember Bill and I don't sleep together. It wasn't until later years I noticed the body odor. He doesn't have that now because I insist on a shower every third day. That said, Shower Days are a still a challenge. Especially for me with my ever increasing arthritis which stiffens my body and decreases my flexibility. Hell, I even have trouble showering myself these days. I can't stand flamingo like on one leg while I was my other leg and foot. I have to lean on the shower wall to perform that task.
Eating is an increasing problem for Bill. This morning was particularly bad. His throat (esophagus) is shot. They wanted to replace it during his last hospital stay (I declined, he's too old for an operation like that) or feed him through a tube in his stomach. I declined the feeding tube to his stomach option too. I continue to puree his twice daily main meal of oatmeal, four tablespoons of sugar, oat milk and banana. After this morning I don't know how much longer we can hold out from those other options. Poor Bill, his body is just wearing out like his old Jeep Laredo.
Bill's legs were doing well for the past few months but now the blisters are showing up again. He's been cutting back on his twice daily feeding of egg custard which supplies much needed protein for healing. That's how we got past his last major edema blister infections. It was such a relief for both of us not to have to bandage up his legs every morning when I dressed him. Oh yes, Bill still can't dress himself. Every now and then I give him the opportunity to try but he just can't. He get too confused.
That brings us to the latest problem. One of his hearing aids doesn't work. Probably needs cleaned which I don't know how to do. I have to make an appointment at the hearing aid place. I called this morning but they're closed Fridays (of course they are). "Summer hours" was what the recording said.
I sent the VA an e-mail asking them if Bill was still authorized to use this hearing aid facility. One has to have VA authorization or else we have to pay for that service ourselves. I already got caught on that once with an eye examination. Things are tight around here what with me not working at the hotel for the past two and a half years and prices going up on everything from lawn care (a major expense here) to grocery products.
And this brings me to the subject of this blog. Know what the Number One Problem Of Caregiving An Elderly Patient is? It's addressing the patient's memory problem. I must have told Bill at least four times this morning that I have to call the hearing aid place to make an appointment to have his hearing aid checked. An hour later he asks me "What are you going to do?" I tell him again. About forty-five minutes laters he asks me again. Again I tell him that I have to get authorization from the VA and take his hearing aid to the hearing aid place and get it checked. It probably just needs cleaned. Guess what? He just asked me again "What are you going to do?" Now I'm getting exasperated and tell him "I just told you FOUR times I have to have the hearing aid place checkout your hearing aid." Know what? He'll asked me at least two or three more times today and all through the weekend "What are you going to do?"
And that folks is the Number One Problem For Caregiving An Elderly Patient: Memory loss.
And this caregiver has to be patient (no pun intended) when I explain again (and again, and again, and again, and again) that I have to take his hearing aid to the hearing aid place to be repaired.
I was talking to Pat earlier about this situation. Pat will probably be my caregiver should I last that long (which I seriously doubt). If I find myself in that situation I'm checking out folks. Count on it folks.
6 comments:
Happy Saturday Ron--
Yes, taking care of the elderly can be a challenge. Bill is going to ask you the same question (s) a thousand times. Just answer as if it is the first time. Frustrating yes! The eating difficulties may come to a head. Just remember what Bill nourished. Please reach out to your medical team for options. Bath day! I remember when I worked in a nursing home we had a list at the nursing station of our patients that needed a bath/shower. It was not every day but a few times throughout the week. And yes, some it was like pulling teeth.
Now if I need to send a nice, mature, buffed male aid to assist you in YOUR showering I am on it. I'll send over a few headshots.
Get out of the house for some sunshine.
Be well,
Victor
PS--The video--Heartbreaking BUT Bill is doing his thing--He looks CLEAN and healthy---I like him better bald-headed--Just know there will come a time when alternative routes of feeding will have to be decided--As you may know, the decisions should be made of what is good for our loved one NOT according to us--We may not like, goes against our logic, aganist our sensibilities BUT the loved one is the one we have to do right by--Hard place to be sometimes--Continue to do what is best for YOU AND BILL--
you may already receive this, but if not, have you looked into caregiver pay from the VA? Maybe an option to help with the ever rising costs of everything these days.
Victor,
Caregiving for Bill these past two years I am learning new levels of patience. Usually I patiently answer Bill's repeated questions calmly like he was asking them the first time. However, at times when I am stressed with other things the "human" in me comes out and unfortunately I take it out on Bill. I try to control myself and am mostly successful. Bill gets a shower every three days, no matter what or how much he complains.
Ron
Buddy,
I have hear about caregiving pay from the VA. I haven't looked into it though. So far we can manage with what we have. I don't want to be greedy. One thing is for sure, we don't want another person in our house helping us. Just us two living here as long as we can manage it.
Ron
Vic,
Bill's swelling is becoming moe difficult. I realize we may have to look at different options in the future. So far we can manage now. I'll wait until Bill decides it is time.
Ron
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