Thursday, November 17, 2022

Fiona Has Left The Building


Sadly I have to report that Fiona the kitten no longer lives with us. 

She came into our house November 4th. I returned her to the ASPCA on November 15th.

I am embarrassed and ashamed that I had to take this drastic action. 

I take full responsibility for making the mistake of adopting a cat, especially a kitten, at this time of our lives. 

I had to return her because she was exhausting both of us with her activity and destructiveness. 

Fiona had two modes, either she was sleeping or she was racing around the house, climbing curtains, jumping on counters, playing with wires, getting behind (and sometimes stuck) tight spots (the refrigerator, I had to pull it out to get her when she couldn't get out).

When she first came I would have a playtime with her which she loves as you can tell by the video I posted on this blog. When she wasn't playing she wanted to lie in my lap, all the time. I did want a lap cat but she wanted to me in my lap every time she saw me sitting. I got to where I was standing up when I ate at our counter she would jump my clawing on my jacket. Of course she was always on our kitchen counter, even though she knew she should be there (she left paw prints on my cooktop). 

During her stay I almost lost one of my favorite vases when it toppled over when she jumped on my Mother's doily to get to that table. I just caught the vase as it was falling to the ground.  I had to put the vase away. 

Then she was jumping up on the plants in the sun room. I had to take the plants out. 

Of course she was clawing our living room furniture. 

She loved to race around the house. I tried to wear her out with a laser light toy. All that did was wear me out. 

Day by day I was wearing out, exhausted. I wasn't having time for Bill or Pat, who calls me frequently on FaceTime. Bill even said "You care more for that cat than you do me." He wouldn't have anything to do with her and I could understand his feelings. 

When I was having my daily FaceTime with Pat, he noticed that I was paying more attention to the kitten in my lap than I was to him. Pat was too nice to say anything but I could tell he was, how should I say it, disappointed in the change in our relationship. 

Fiona is a sweet, loving kitty but I was slowly coming to the realization that my life was changing, permanently for the rest of my life with these two most important men in my life. 

The final straw happened on Sunday,November 13th, when she made a flying leap on one of Bill's antique lamps in our living room and knocked it over. Thank goodness the lamp didn't break but that was it. Bill said "I wish we didn't have that cat!" but he was willing to let me keep her. He said "We have a lot of nice things here" which we do and I realized that we soon wouldn't have a lot of nice things as long as we had a kitten living with us. I told him, "I'm taking her back."  He said "Oh God! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! He was so relieved. I was too. 

Part of my responsibility in taking care of Bill is to keep his remaining time here on this earth as stress free as possible. And I have to keep my health in order to take care of him. It was very irresponsible of my to think that I could take a kitten in our household at this time. And of course it's not fair to the kitten either, she deserves a home where she can be herself, even though she proved herself to be a "live wire" as my brother (who has had a cat companion for ten years) told me when I told him of my travails. I was naive and foolish to think I could bring a kitten in our house and selfish of course.

I couldn't return her to the ASPCA until Tuesday, at 12 PM, November 15th. The ASPCA is closed on Mondays. 

If I had any second thoughts about returning her they were quickly dismissed the night before when she was at my bedroom door at 2:30 AM meowing. She wanted in. I had made the decision when I first brought her home that she wasn't to sleep with me. She was content to sleep in her favorite hiding place behind Bill's recliner until that Monday night or early morning. I tried to go back to sleep but she wasn't having it. She wanted in. So I got up and went into the kitchen to be with her. 

Now I had to kill time until 12 PM when I could return her. I went into the kitchen and turned on the TV and played on of my recorded shows. While that was playing in the background I cleaned all my kitchen counters. She was content to be with me. And I did like the little sweet thing. She is adorable but as much as I knew I would miss her I convinced myself that the sooner I parted ways with her and returned to my normal life would be best. I had already bonded with her, and she with me, but the longer she stayed the more bonding would occur and the harder it would be to part ways.  Best to cut the cord now.

I called the shelter and told them I was returning her. Of course my $150 adoption fee was not refundable but I have no problem with that. To me that $150 is going to a good cause, an animal shelter. I asked them if they could use all the amenities that I had purchased for Fiona with included two litter trays (one domed and one open), a cat condo (which she rarely used), a cat bed (she she never used, she preferred my lap of the chair with a pillow seat under the dining table), cat food, cat snacks, litter pellets and pads (and I just had brought about several month's worth from Walmart the previous day), and the cat toys (which she loved). All told about $400 for my stupid mistake of thinking two old men could live with a lively kitten. For once I didn't feel bad about "wasted" money because I don't consider this wasted money. It all goes to the shelter. 

Another thing I didn't take into consideration was how much having a cat would restrict my travel plans. Just didn't think too much about it until I realized I would have to either get a cat sitter or board her. Very expensive propositions not to mention being stressful for the cat. I had briefly considered bringing the cat with us (me and Pat) but then dismissed that foolish idea because that wouldn't be a vacation, having to be concerned about her welfare and of course the trip would be just a stressful for her. 

So where do I stand now? Of course I miss her. Even though she was only her for a very short period of time we did bond and I grew to love her. But as long as I'm caring for Bill and should Bill pass while I'm still alive (and that's no guarantee) I will continue to be cat free as long as I can travel (and that's no guarantee either with my health).  But should Bill pass before me I would like to make a cross country trip with Pat to Palm Springs. Once before I die I would like to see the middle of this country instead of just the coasts which is all I have seen. Even when I joined the Army to "see the world" I never got off the East Coast in my whole three year enlistment (New Jersey, Maryland, and Massachusetts). 

If there comes a time when I can't travel and I'm here along I may consider getting a cat but definitely not a kitten but an adult cat. Maybe I'll foster a series of cats before I find the one that would fit in my lifestyle at that time my life, assuming of course that I'm still alive and mobile (not guarantee either). 

Thus another chapter of my very eventful life has concluded. All these years I wanted a cat (since I was ten years old). I got one and it turned out to be disastrous. I would never have dreamed that outcome but I feel confident that Fiona is now in a hope where she can spend a happy and contented life and will soon forget her brief foray in the House Of Old Men.







Fiona about an hour before I put her in the very nice cat carrier that I just got from Amazon. Yes, I left the cat carrier at the shelter too.  I think she knew something was up. It will be a while before I get over this mistake. I'm pretty sure she's forgotten about us already. Have a good life Fiona!












10 comments:

Jon said...

I'm so sorry that you had to return Fiona, Ron, but kittens can be extremely exhausting. They are constantly playing, exploring, and being rowdy. I loved having kittens around when I was younger, but at this point in my life I probably couldn't handle it. I have too many health problems and other serious problems that sap my time and energy.

I'm sure that caring for Bill is extremely mentally and physically exhausting for you - and a kitten only compounded your work.

I'm thinking that perhaps you could adopt an older cat. Older cats are much more set in their ways and would be less trouble. They are usually more sedentary and far less rowdy (although my 8-year-old Bosco still jumps on tables now and then).

You should keep all the cat items that you invested in - just in case you eventually adopt another feline friend.
Cats have many different personalities. My Kitzee (now deceased) was always very polite and never caused any trouble. Bosco is a little more rowdy at times, but he's very affectionate.

Hang in there, Ron, and keep us posted. I always read your blog but don't always comment.


VRCooper said...

Hello Ron,

I understand!!

I am not a cat person. I never liked them. Maybe from afar.

I lived with my friend in LA for a spell and he had an indoor/outdoor cat. He lived in an older home that had side windows of the main window in the living room that had jalousie windows that you would open and close for air. He took out the bottom slot and the cat would come and go as he pleased. The cat for the most part stayed off of things. I would close my bedroom door during the night because I didn't want him to be in the room while I slept. The cat caught on so during the day if I was in the bedroom he would just look in and move on.

To be cats are not sanitary. They are on counters, stoves, kitchen tables... Don't want that.

My hatred of cats could be from childhood trauma. I was babysitting a family when I was probably in 8th grade and one of the kids got mad at me and threw the cat at my back. The cat's natural instincts were claws out and landing on my back. I was pissed, to say the least.

Now that you don't have a cat would you be interested in a boy Friday? Let me know so that I can post the ad and start the interviews.

Have a great evening!!

Victor

xo

Ron said...

Victor,
I've always liked cats. But I agree with you it's not sanitary to have cats walking all over your counters which is what this cat did. I couldn't have that, especially after she just used her litter box. And this cat definitely wanted in my bedroom. There was no way she was going to sleep with me because I wouldn't get a good night's sleep. My friend Glenn M. won't let his cat sleep with him. My brother does and he rarely gets more than two hours straight sleep at night. I need my sleep. The night before I decided to return her to the shelter, she was at my bedroom door at 2:30 AM meowing. I couldn't get back to sleep with that meowing. That and knocking over Bill's antique lamp sealed her fate. I hope she's in a home now more suited to her. The cats I've been around before were indoor/outdoor cats. That was my only experience. Now to address the boy Friday, no way. NO WAY! I've been down that route before (which I've written about in past blog posts). Two different guys. Brad and Eddie. Both stole from me and one almost set my apartment on fire when he fell asleep with a cigarette in his hand. NO WAY NO WAY. If I ever live with anyone again it will be with Pat but even then that would be a problem because we both are definitely set in our ways. Right now we have the perfect arrangement. Before COVID and my caretaking for Bill we got together four times a year and traveled together. Then we went back to our own homes. Pat is a minimalist, I have a lot of knickknacks and hardly every throw anything awayHe's a channel flipper and I'm not. He grazes during the day and I eat at three specific times. This year we will have known each other ten years. I know Pat and he knows me. Our arrangement now works fine for both of us. Maybe in the future if I become invalid we "might" move to Palm Springs and he could be my caregiver but for now if Bill dies before me, I live alone.
Ron

Ron said...

Jon,
Your advice is right on the mark. I should never have got a kitten. I knew a kitten would be more active but this one was a "live wire" as my brother told me. I had originally considered getting an older more settled cat but when I saw Fiona I fell in love right away. I thought I could get through her kitten phase but I drastically underestimated how active she was. She loved cuddling in my lap. When she wasn't in my lap she was racing through the house jumping on EVERYTHING! Nothing was beyond her ability to jump on it. Also, she had a habit of walking on my countertops which I couldn't break her (by clapping my hands and say "GET DOWN!") All I could think of when I saw her paw prints on my countertop "did she just use her litter box?" I specifically made a point not to have her in my bedroom which, of course, only increased her curiosity about my bedroom which she would dart in as soon as I opened my bedroom door in the morning. I was also concerned about her propensity to play with any wires she saw. One of her litter pans was in our basement near the whole house switch box. Of course she couldn't resist those wires. Near that switch box was Bill's workshop bench which he often sat with his office chair on wheels. He almost rolled over her (Bill is legally blind) when she was under the chair. When she took a flying leap at Bill's antique lamp and knocked it over (didn't break thank goodness but damaged the table, soft wood pine) I made my decision to return her. Both Bill and I are just too old to contend with all that destructive activity. She was a sweetheart and I miss her already but I thought it best to part ways before I got too attached. Even this afternoon during my nap I had a dream about her and how I would miss her. I have little doubt she will find a nice home because she is a beautiful, lively kitten. Not a black cat like her siblings. Black cats are always the hardest to adopt. from shelters. I also didn't give enough consideration how much she would restrict me from traveling. I checked out all the options from a cat sitter to boarding her to taking her with us on our vacations. None were viable. Maybe in the future if I'm along and Pat and I aren't traveling I may get a cat but any cat I get would certainly be an adult cat. But not now. My caregiving for Bill and myself takes up all my energy. I just didn't have enough left over to care for a very active kitten. I learned a lesson.

You don't have to apologize for not leaving comments on my blog Jon. I think more people read my blog that leave comments but that's alright with me. My blog is my personal form of therapy from getting too depressed and/or going crazy. I too often don't leave comments on your blog. In fact I only read two other blogs on a regular basis. Yours and Spo Reflections. All these years I haven't found any blogs as interesting as yours and Michaels. You're both special people in my life which I feel so fortunate to know. It's funny but I thought after all these years of blogging (since 2005) I would find more blogs like yours and Spo's but I haven't. You two are the most honest and decent people I know. Sure, we have our differences but I easily recognize the goodness beneath the surface.
Thank you for your friendship Jon.
Ron

Woody in Ohio said...

I am sorry that your experience with the "Live Wire" Fiona was not what you had hoped it would be. Maybe the aquatic pond in your garden will prove to be time and money much better spent. Be safe. Be careful. Be happy. Adieu

Ron said...

Woody,
My pond in my backyard is proving to be all I hoped it to be. The pond is now clear and I can see the fish. I enjoy skimming the pond daily of debris. And I do all this on my own schedule, not the cat's schedule. I do miss the sweet little thing though. Only a little over a week and I had bonded with her and she with me as well. but it was not to be. Taking care of Bill and myself takes all my energy. I just do not have enough stamina to take care of a very active, curious, live wire kitten. I'm sure she will be in a home that is more suited to her. Probably there now.
Ron

anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
anonymous said...

I'm sorry you had to give Fiona up, Ron. I know that was a difficult decision for you. You gave it a fair shot. Sometimes pets work.... sometimes they don't. Your plate is full and trying to raise a kitten is quite a task. I brought a 12-week-old Rottweiler home and in 2 days thought I must have lost my mind. I might have! He turned into a 125 lb. dog that was all muscle. He was also the sweetest dog I've ever owned or been around. But my God it about did me in getting him there. He chewed holes in the carpet and chewed a hole in the wall! There's no way at my age now I could handle that. So, I 'get it', Ron. You did the right thing. Sometimes what we think is a good idea (at one time) turns out to be a clunker. Been there, done that. After my Rottie passed I got a rescue cat who was about 4 years old. It's worked out fine, thankfully. And life moves on. Take care, Ron
Paranormal John

Ron said...

Paranormal John,
You are so right, this was a very difficult decision for me to give up Fiona. She was such a sweet little kitty and already attached to me as I was to here. Just this evening I was having regret that I gave her up, because I miss having her sleeping in my lap purring. But I know it was best that I gave her up now because I just could not care for her at this time of my life when I'm caring for Bill and myself. I just cannot imagine taking care of a dog. I see that with my neighbor who was widowed last year and got a puppy. He said he was tired of coming home to an empty house. Be careful of what you wish for. He got a puppy that was half poodle and half Australian cattle dog. She's very nice but man oh man, lots of energy and tearing his once beautiful house up big time. But he loves her and I guess in the end that's what he wanted. I'm glad your Rotweiler turned out alright and you became such good friends. Talking to Pat tonight, we agreed that if and when we retire to Palm Springs I will get my cat, an older rescue cat.
Thanks for your comment John. Always helpful and informative.
Ron

Ur-spo said...

A sad tale; i know that was hard to do. Doing the Right thing so often hurts.

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