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| Bill with his VA eye doctor |
Two days after I returned from Palm Springs, I took bill to the Wilmington Va for more extensive tests on his vision problems. When we last left this question, Bill was very dissatisfied with his previous doctor after his cataract surgery. After his cataract surgery Bill still couldn't read the eye chart. His doctor discovered that he had macular degeneration. Bill wanted another doctor's opinion. Thus I arranged an appointment with the eye clinic at the Veterans' Administration in Wilmington.
We got up there early Wednesday morning. The doctor saw us right away. For the next two and a half hours he performed tests on Bill's eyes. The result? Bill has macular degeneration. In fact they determined that Bill is legally blind. Needless to say Bill is very upset about this. He's convinced that if he get just the right pair of glasses that his vision would improve.
The chief eye doctor and a health care provider came in to talk to me and Bill about what his options are. Audio books. That's not an option, Bill doesn't read and he certainly isn't going to sit still and listen to an audio book. Another option was to go to Philadelphia to a specialist which basically will provide a big magnifying glass for Bill to read. Bill doesn't want to do that either. The health care provider was concerned about Bill's mental state. I appreciate their concern but this is a problem that Bill and I will have to take care of ourselves.
The health care provider called me the next day to discuss more options. There are no good options. Bill is hard of hearing and now his sight is going. I will take care of him. When we got home I made him a new batch of chocolate chip cookies. I also fixed his iPad so he can check the weather and his mail. He has trouble seeing his iPad but he manages.
Those days of the past when we were both so healthy, we took our health for granted. These days, when I'm exhausted most of the day and Bill has his hearing and vision problems, is a new reality for us. We'll manage.
7 comments:
Hey Ron - You've got a lot on your plate. And as time goes on it seems you've got more to do. And it's tough on Bill to experience these new health issues. When my mother lost a lot of her hearing I remember how I'd get frustrated having to repeat almost everything and slow my speech considerably. And I realize how difficult it must be sometimes to maintain your patience. Perhaps the really powerful magnifying glasses you mentioned that he could get in Philadelphia will help Bill with reading his iPad and make life less stressful for you. Let me know if and when you plan to go to Philly.
Pat
Pat,
Both me and Bill have lived well past our "sell by" dates. I consider ourselves lucky for any time we have let that we an managed ourselves. Asyou often say, our problems are "first world problems."
Ron
Thanks for the update on Bill...I have mentioned on one or two occasions that I am in healthcare...Been in various roles since I was 19...I am 62...I know how patients are when they can't accomplish their basic ADLs (Activities of Daily Living)...Hearing and sight are the two that cause the most agitation in patients as well as families...It really limits what they can/cannot do...I actually had an administrator who had an eye issue in so much she could not read any papers placed on her desk...She had this contraption, sort of like the old microfiche machines, where she could feed papers through and bam they would appear on the monitor big as day...May I suggest that you look into services for the blind in your area to determine what assistance they can provide or refer you to...
Blindsight Delaware
2915 Newport Gap Pike
Wilmington, Delaware 19808
302-998-5913
Also, I know this is a sensitive subject...But maybe someone can come into the home and be of assistance to Bill...Reading, light chores, company...Maybe the VA has resources you can take advantage of...
I know that you can still tool around and be there for Bill...But we have to take care of you...The caregiver...You need your breaks...Your time away to recharge...run errands...Keep the house together...It is vital that you take care of YOU...As you may know, caring for a loved one can be taxing, exhausting...We also want to keep Bill's independence as much as we can, as long as we can...There comes a time where one has to face reality...That is between you and Bill...
My thoughts are with you...
XOXO
good luck
My brothers and I are dealing with Father's mac deg. No fun this.
Vic,
Thank you so much for your advice. Bill is having a hard time dealing with his loss of sight. It is much worse than I had thought. I have to let things settle down before I take the next step though. As far as having someone come into our home to help, that won't work. Our neighbor Bob M. is very helpful but even with him, Bill would prefer to be alone. Bill has always been a loner and a homebody and very private. That has always been one of the issues of our relationship that I have learned to adjust. With Pat,, who is very social, it is such a relief to be with him when we're on our quarterly get togethers, he's very social. I enjoy being with him and his sociability, being "normal."
I will look into Blindsight Delaware and see if that works for us. Bill has to be on board before we do anything like that.
You are right in that I do need my breaks. Bill is losing his cognitive abilities. We joke about it but it is getting more serious. I saw the same thing happen with my late friend Bob M. I hope Bill doesn't get that bad. I think he'll be alright as long as I'm around but I have to admit it's wearing me out going behind him watching out and correcting the things he's doing. When we were at the VA he had his jacket on inside out. Last week he was trying to put on his outside shoes and he still had on his inside moccasins. I told him when he puts on his underwear outside his pants, then I'm shipping him off to the Old Soldier's Home in Dover.My biggest fear now is that I will die before Bill. I can't do that. I will take care of Bill until the end.
Ron
Ur-spo,
It's rough. I feel so bad for Bill. I want to help him but can't do much other than offer him support. I didn't know your father had the same situation.
Ron
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