Wednesday, November 19, 2014

These Boots Are Made For Walking

Nancy "Natural Blonde" Sinatra (right)

"These Boots Are Made For Walking."  Who didn't like that little ditty?  I did.  Oh sure, it was probably only a hit for Nancy Sinatra because she got to the head of the line because she was Old Blue Eye's daughter.  But still, cute song.  I always liked it.  

No more.

This past August I visited my friend Pat in Toronto.  I stayed at his minimalist digs.  Quite nice although VERY minimal (you should have seen me trying to take a shower - like a flamingo standing on one leg - nothing to grab onto but I digress).  

Most evenings during my two week stay (yes, I overdid it but we won't go there now), we played Scrabble.  Pat has the Sonos music system in his house.  Music played softly through the walls.  That was fine until he decided to share his obsession with Nancy "These Boots Are Made For Walking" Sinatra with me.  

The first hour or two, I didn't take too much notice.  But as Nancy droned on into the third hour, I began to develop a rash and a heavy feeling at the base of my skull.  

"OMG" I thought.  "I can't take any more of her buzz saw like droning of music!"  To me Ms. Sinatra sings everything flat.  That's fine with a novelty song like "These Boots Are Made For Walking" but when she sings a serious song like "MacArthur - I left my cake in the rain - park", I'm thinking "All right!  I give up!  I'll tell you anything you want to know!"

Talk about cruel and unusual punishment.  Want to make a captured terrorist talk? Strap him down on a gurney and play "MacArthur Park" sung by Ms. Sinatra over and over and OVER.  

Folks, I can't stand to hear Nancy Sinatra now.  Just the sound of her D flat, drone causes my heart to slow down, the base of my skull becomes very heavy and I start experiencing sickening waves of nausea over my brain mass. 


Sorry beautiful - your singing just does work for me anymore

Reminds me of the story my brother Isaac told me when he took Army Basic Training.  During one of his mess hall dinners, there was left over hot dogs.  The sergeant asked the recruits "Anyone want these left over hot dogs?" Isaac, a strapping 18 year old at that time and never one to pass up an opportunity for extra food shot his hand up.  The sergeant saw his hand and said "Get your Ass Come up here recruit!"  Then he lifted the pan that contained the remaining hot dogs floating in cloudy hot water and told Isaac to help himself.  Isaac took one.  After he ate it, the sergeant told him to take another.  Isaac at that one too and the sergeant told him to take another.  What Isaac didn't know that the sergeant was playing one of the many old sadistic Army routines that are frequently played on new recruits. I had it done to me with left over strawberries for strawberry short cake. 

The Army doesn't like to waste food and the Army, during basic training likes to make examples of raw recruits to the other recruits for purposes of discipline.  The sergeant made my brother Isaac eat EVERY HOT DOG IN THAT PAN.  There were about seventeen hot dogs.  To this day, Isaac cannot even stand the sight of hot dogs. 


"GAG"

These must be a name for this condition when one gets an overload of something (help us out her Dr. Spo).  

All I know now is that whenever I even see a picture of Nancy Sinatra strains of her version of MacArthur Park start to invade my mind and I feel like I'm falling down a deep, dark hole.  

Nancy, stick with "These Boots Are Made For Walking."  You may be Ole Blue Eyes daughter but you're not Richard Harris.  

Bang bang.

16 comments:

pat888 said...

Good morning Ron - and good readers. I must admit I am responsible for Ron's tantrum today. And somehow I want to make amends even while I can't seem to lose the phrase Ron often uses in discussions - "get over yourself". Please folks, while I might have overdone the playlist for a short while (3 hours? LOL) Maybe it was 6 or 7 songs and they are only about 3 minutes each for that time period. What the case is here, is that Ron hasn't yet acquired that special taste for Nancy Sinatra unique versions of songs - anywhere from McCarthur's Park to DayTripper with trumpets. I think if I expose him to more on his next visit he'll overcome this irrational fear of Nancy Sinatra. I would like to post the video of Nancy doing You Only Live Twice. And we know the Bond films only pick the best of the best to do their theme songs.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XgFtQPgHyek

Pat

Anonymous said...

Well, to each their own, right? I happen to like Nancy well enough, altho I admit I am unfamiliar with her version of MacArthur Park (and besides, no one could ever take Donna Summer's place as the definitive diva singer for that one for me). I think her duets with Lee Hazelwood just evoke a kind of nostalgia for me, which is probably the wrong word since I was not alive in the '60's. Has Pat seen "Movin' With Nancy", her TV special from 1967? It is just so mod and perfect. You might appreciate the visual if you watch it on mute, Ron.

I hope Dr. Spo provides us with a nice term for the response you are describing, preferably in German so I will sound like an angry Rottweiler (are there any other kinds?) when I try to pronounce it, ha ha ha!

~~~ NB

Jack said...

Ron,
You are a fountain of information. I found out something I never knew before. NANCY SINATRA ACTUALLY SANG (?) SOMETHING OTHER THAN BOOTS? My first reaction was to find the other music (?) until I read the rest of your post. I could take Boots every five or ten years but I never considered that she actually sang (?) another song. In case you can't tell, she was never one of my favorites and Boots wasn't that bad but only, for me anyway, every so often. On another note, she hasn't aged well, neither did her brother who I saw on some TV program about Old Blue Eyes former home in Palm Springs. Sinatra Jr. was the spittin' image of his father when he was young (cute). As he aged he is still the spittin' image of his father minus the hair piece (not so cute). Damn shame, that's all I can say.
No offense intended to you or Pat.
Jack

Ron said...

Hey Jack,
Pat has ALL her songs. God, she has tons of albums, all awful in my opinion. He loves her. You're right, neither Nancy nor Frank Jr has aged well. Frank Jr. is so fat he looks like he's going to explode. Good eating and little or no exercise for sure with that one. No offense taken about the hair. Doesn't bother or Pat. It is what it is.
Ron

Ron said...

NB,
You're right! Donna Summer DOES have the definitive version of "MacArthur Park." I like Richard Harris' version too but Donna? Superb. Now I could listen to Donna for hours and hours and never tire of her. Nancy's voice however, over a period of time makes me feel like something is pulling me towards a bottomless well. The droning sound of her voice just drags me down. Just to balance things out, I can't stand Andy Williams' or Low Rawls' voice either. Both make me want to crawl up the walls. Nancy's makes me want to bury myself.
Ron

Ron said...

Pat,
I'll give it to you that Nancy does do a good version of "You Only Live Twice." The monotone of that song is perfectly suited to her one note monotone drone. But other songs? She just doesn't have the versatility that most other singers have. Sorry.
Ron

pat888 said...

Thanks NB for your response. I would like to tell you that if you haven't heard Nancy Sinatra's CD released in 2004 (I think) simply called Nancy Sinatra - please check it out. She does some new duets with Lee Hazelwood.
There is a song that U2 wrote for Frank who didn't sing it but Nancy does (Two Shots of Happiness, One Shot of Sad. She also does a couple of songs written by Morrisey and one by Steven Van Zandt.
I emphasize with Ron's dilemma. For instance not everyone can appreciate electronic, jazz or classical music. LOL.

Pat

Jay M. said...

I hear you 100%. I can get over-sensitive to songs/artists/genres fairly quickly. Then I can't stand it ever again. Right on, Ron!

Peace <3
Jay

Geo. said...

Ron, I vaguely remember when U.S. forces surrounded Panamanian dictator Manuel Noriega in 1989, they reportedly blasted "These Boots Were Made For Walkin'" until he came out and surrendered. I would have too.

Raybeard said...

I like 'You Only Live Twice', surely one of the half--dozen best Bond songs of all ('Nobody Does It Better', 'From Russia with Love', 'Live And Let Die', 'Goldfinger', 'All Time High', since you ask). Did you know that there were two versions of 'You Only'? - one for the film title soundtrack and a pared-down orchestral version which was released as a single (coupled with 'Jackson' with Lee Hazlewood), which 'only' got to #11 here (both 'Boots' and 'Sugar Town' were much bigger) although it stayed in our charts for five months, longer than any of her other singles.

I don't believe I've ever heard (or can't remember) her version of 'MacArthur Park'. I'm going to remedy that right now.

Travel said...

I can listen to the same limited selection of music over and over for hours or days, drive Jay out of his mind about the second time the same song plays. I have driven from DC to Florida with just two CDs playing in the car. Different brains work differently.

Ron said...

David,
I too can and usually do listen to a limited selection of music for hours. Almost all music I like, Bill doesn't like. As a result, quiet reigns at Casa Tipton-Kelly, which really isn't so bad after all. Bill loves polka music. I don't mind it but wouldn't want to listen to "Beer Barrel Polka" or "She's Too Fat For Me" for hours on end.
Ron

Ron said...

Geo.,
I remember that fact too! As I said in my post, I don't mind "These Boots Were Made for Walkin" but if Nancy's version of "MacArthur Park" was blasted at me, I would surrender to just to stop the torture.
Ron

Ron said...

Jay,
Unfortunately Pat has ruined me forever on Nancy Sinatra's singing. However, my all time "favorite" is Stevie Nicks. I CANNOT.STAND.ANYTHING.SHE.SINGS.
Ron

Ur-spo said...

Mental saturation? Fatgue? Burnout? all good !

Ron said...

Dr. Spo,
Alas, Pat has ruined me forever on whatever minimal talent Ms "These Boots Are Made For Walkin" Sinatra.
Ron

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