Another Tipton Cousin Dies

 

John Michael Tipton 1947-2024 with one of his four daughters (Elizabeth Mary) this past summer celebrating his 77th birthday.

This morning I was informed by his daughter that another one of my favorite cousins has died.

His name was John Michael Tipton. He was only seventy-seven years old. 

I did not know he was ill. 

John (or "Johnny" as I knew him) was one of the Good Guys. Like my cousin Bud, I never heard Johnny say a bad word about anyone. 

With the death of my cousin John Tipton, there are no longer the 'Three John" in our immediate family.

Johnny's father was also a "John" Tipton. He was a paratrooper in World War II. He was captured by the Germans when his unit parachuted into Belgium. His family assumed he died in combat. It wasn't until the end of World War II in 1945 that our family found out he was alive. He was a prisoner of war. He had escaped twice and was recaptured twice. His mother (my grandmother Tipton) died in 1944, thinking that her son John had died in the war. My younger brother John (who died last year) was born in 1944 and named in honor of his Uncle John. 

My Uncle John Tipton (on the right). Paratropper World War II

When Uncle John returned home at the end of the war, he married. His first born was a son who he named "John" (of course). Thus we had three "Johns" in our immediate family. How we kept track of them was my brother was always called "John." He never had a nickname like "Jay", "Jack", or any other nickname for "John." My brother was always known as "John." Uncle John of course was always known as "Uncle John."  He was perhaps our favorite Tipton Uncle. My father had ten Tipton brothers (no sisters). Uncle John was the favorite of all of us cousins and his brothers. And of course he was the true hero of our family. How ironic that he died in an industrial accident in 1962 when he was only thirty-nine years old. He had a terrible accident. He was a painter at Gindy Trailers (where my father also worked). His turpentine soaked coveralls accidentally caught on fire from a discarded cigarette butt. I was in the Army at that time of his accident. I remember visiting him along with some of my other cousins at the Crozer Burn Center outside Philadephia. He was wrapped up like a mummy in bandages from head to toe. He only survived a few days before he passed on. I, along with my two brothers were some of the pallbearers at his funeral. We were in our Army uniforms. I remember clearly to this day carrying his casket into the Roman Catholic Church (first time ever for us to be in a Catholic Church, quite an experience for us Baptist raised Tiptons, Uncle John had married a woman of Italian and Irish heritage). I was flooded with emotion with the bright sunlight colors streaming through the stained glass windows of St. Joseph's Church in Downingtown, PA and the choir signing High Mass. This was my first funeral.

My Aunt Peg (far left sitting front with her mother and nine sisters). Aunt Peg is still alive. She is 95 years old, same age as my Bill.

Tipton brothers (my father is the tall man on the right in the back. Uncle John is the second kneeling man in the middle row on the left next to his fraternal twin brother Richard). This photo taken at a Tipton Family Reunion in Kerr Park, Downingtown PA 1960 two years before his accidental death.

My Uncle John Tipton (in front with his hand in his pocket) with his future wife. The men surrounding my Uncle John Tipton are his brothers Ed (over his should to the left and my cousin Bud Tipton's father), my father Isaac Tipton (tall man in the back directly behind my Aunt Peg), and my Uncle Henry (to my Aunt :eg's right) and my Uncle Erby Tipton (on the far right in front. My Uncle John had ten brothers. No sisters. Interesting fact, my Aunt Peg had ten sisters, no brothers. 

The evening prior to his funeral service I attended his viewing. This was the first time in my life I had ever seen a dead person. I remember so vividly my first thoughts as I looked upon my favorite uncle lying in repose in his coffin on the white satin....."That's not Uncle John. It's just an empty shell." For one thing they had his hair combed wrong. Uncle John always had a part in the middle of his hair. The funeral director had put a part in the right side of his hair. But that wasn't the biggest takeaway I had, it was the realization that when someone dies their soul departs and all that is left is that shell of a body. It might as well have been an overcoat. 

I would love to attend my cousin John Tipton's services but it looks like I'll have to pass this one up too like I did my cousin Bud Tipton's service a few weeks ago. And my brother John Tipton's service and my cousin Joan "Sis" Tipton's service as well as several of my classmate's services. Thank God there is live streaming of the services now. I'll watch that. 

Cousin John Michael Tipton - photo taken by my friend Mark H. at the Tipton Family reunion October 9, 2011

This last  picture of Cousin John was also taken at the Tipton Family Reunion October 9, 2011. John is pictured with his wife, there of his four daughters, one boyfriend, niece and sister-in-law. 

Update On Bill's Condition

 

Wedding Day picture July 3, 2013 Georgetown Circle, Georgetown, Delaware

Bill is slipping.

This past week his cognitive dissonance has increased. Whereas he was confused around four o'clock in the afternoon after I got up from my nap, now his dementia is showing itself at two o'clock or thereabouts. He's losing track of time. He's getting his days and night's mixed up. 

I just left him in his bedroom now. Right now the time is 10:04 AM and he would be sitting in his recliner in our sunroom. Instead when I went to get him up this morning for his breakfast, he wanted to sleep "another hour or so." That's where he is now, sleeping in his bedroom. 

Last night he didn't want his dinner which is a high protein egg nog smoothie. No breakfast this morning. He says he's "not hungry." After I complete this blog I'll go down to his bedroom and get him up for lunch. I hope he's able to eat something.

He's also having problems swallowing, more so this past week. There is no cure for the swallowing. He's on a total liquid diet now. The past two days he's been spitting out most of what he's trying to swallow. This problem with his eating reminded me of my cousin Bud who died two weeks ago. Before his died he refused to eat anymore. 

I became so concerned that I called Delaware Hospice. I checked online the signs of imminent death and Bill was hitting all those markers. 

A Delaware Hospice nurse came over last night and checked Bill's vitals. His vitals looked good. She said he's just probably "plateauing at a different level." 

This morning Bill's VA nurse also called. I updated her on Bill's condition. We agreed to monitor him now. 

Our main concern is keeping Bill here at home where he is most comfortable. I don't want Bill's last days to be spent in a strange place. My brothers and I promised our Mother that we wouldn't put her in a nursing home. We were able to keep that promise to her, she died on her own bed in my brother's home. She would have preferred her own home but we weren't able to do that but we did the next best thing.

Bill is ready to go. I am ready for him to go to, as ready as I'll ever be. I'm trying to get myself ready for when he is no longer with me. As I told Bill many times in the past months as I tried to reassure him that he would not "miss" me when he goes, "You won't miss anything Bill. When you go you'll know nothing. At best you'll be reborn with a whole new fresh memory and life. I'm the one who is going to miss you."

We're all going to die. Most of us don't know when. Bill has a good idea that his time is arriving. 

Three years ago when I was given the option to airlift Bill to the Thomas Jefferson University Hospital in Philadelphia because of his stroke and subsequent fall where he caused himself a brain injury, I thought I had lost him then. That's why I gave the go ahead for the helicopter ride to Philly which only took a half an hour versus an ambulance ride which would take two and a half hours that I was told he probably "wouldn't survive."

I made the right decision and since then I've had another three wonderful years with this man, who has been my life's savior. Without Bill in my life I would have been nothing. Bill came into my life when I was at a crossroads. He has saved me multiple times over the past fifty-nine years by always being my steady rock as I often veered towards hasty and unwise decisions. I can hardly beat to think of my life without Bill but I must.

I will end this post with one of the daily mediations that I receive from the James Terry Funeral home. The same funeral home that performed the services for both of my parents and where I have indicated that my final services will be performed. Nearby that funeral home in  I have two beautiful lots in the Northwood Cemetery that overlook my hometown of Downingtown, Pennsylvania. That will be our final resting place, on a hill overlooking the town that was our home together for twenty-five magical years and which Bill misses to this day. Yes, Bill and I will return home to Pennsylvania, a wish he has often expressed during the eighteen years we have lived in Delaware.

To lose someone who was part of your daily life is unspeakably difficult. How can you make decisions, share your thoughts, or works through your dilemmas with anyone else in the same way?

You can never replace the relationship you lost. It is a sacred entity in and of itself. You can, however, forage a new path that brings out different strengths and aspects of yourself you may not have known. Do not be afraid to discover these new pathways. This loss, while terrible, will press you to grow as a person. 

Trump The Loser

 

Finally the Orange Jesus was held accountable this week. A New York judge ruled that he must pay E. Jean Carroll 83.3 million dollars for sexually assaulting and bad mouthing E. Jean Carroll over thirty years ago in that New York salon dressing room. Trump did what he bragged about, grabbing a woman by the pussy. 

Yes, some may think I'm posting a political posting but this is more than just a "political posting." This is  about a criminal who has been getting away with his criminality his whole life. Trump is convinced he is above the law. He's not.

Oh sure, Biden is old. I'll give you that. I cringe whenever I see him on TV or hear him speak. I cringe. And Biden is a year younger than me! But as I said before, I would vote for Biden way before I would vote for Trump the Criminal. 

What surprises me is how many on the Trump Train are so easily conned by his lies. Maybe that's what happens when you're in the Fox (Faux) News Bubble. And what really surprised me is how cowardly so many Republican politician are. They know better but yet out of fear of losing their jobs and positions of power and influence, and personal bodily fear (Trump and many of his minions are thugs after all threatening physical violence against anyone who opposes Dear Leader) go along with putting Trump in power. THEY ARE ON THE WRONG SIDE OF HISTORY. 

Remember the words of Pastor Neimoller during the rise of Hitler before World War II:

First they came for the socialists, and I did not speak out—because I was not a socialist.

Then they came for the trade unionists, and I did not speak out—because I was not a trade unionist.

Then they came for the Jews, and I did not speak out—because I was not a Jew.

Then they came for me—and there was no one left to speak for me.

—Martin Niemöller

First Snow Of The Season

 

Last year we got by without any significant snow. 

I didn't mind. I hate the snow.

Nice to look at but very treacherous for this old man. Talk to my torn quadricep leg muscle of ten years ago about that.

A couple of days we received our first snow of the season. Not much by Iowa standards but a fair amount for us. About four inches. 

I didn't dare shovel our driveway. I'm not taking any chances of slipping and falling and breaking any of my old bones. Come to think of it, I've never broken a bone in my body. I've had a lot of other body failures but no broken bones. And I plan to keep that record. Thus, no going on on the black ice in my driveway that underlies the snow and shoveling.

With our black macadamed driveway the sun melts the snow which it did yesterday. We still have ice at the "lake" at the end of our driveway. Our poor fish pond is frozen over. I hope my dozen or so goldfish can survive this winter too like they did last year. Those goldfish are amazing at how hardy they are. Dig the pond deep enough and they survive and I had that pond dug four feet deep. They're down there, moving slowly. In a cold stupor no doubt. They manage.

With the sunshine, everything is a brilliant white outside. I definitely had to wear my wrap around eye exam sunglasses yesterday when I drove myself and Bill to Food Lion for groceries. 

Already I see green shoots of new daffodil growth bravely pushing through the snow. Those daffodils are relentless. 

Have a great day everyone and if you're in snow country, be careful!

Edward "Bud" Tipton Funeral Service

Yesterday was the funeral service for my cousin Edward "Bud" Tipton.

I so wanted to attend his services in person but taking the two and a half hour trip to Pennsylvania just wasn't practical. I would have to take Bill with me and he is so weak these days. Also, there was the issue of possibility of snow. I didn't want to take that chance. As it turned out, yesterday was a sunny day. Today the snow falls here in southern Delaware.

Bud's services were at the same funeral home in Downingtown, Pennsylvania that held both of my parent's services. This is the same place where I will make my final exit. I don't know who will take care of my funeral services but I hope my services is the same as Bud's. 

Like Bud, I'm religiously affiliated with any church. I'm spiritual, I just don't do organized religion. I found it interesting that the minister who performed Bud's services didn't know Bud personally but still was able to project the kind of man Bud was. It was interesting that he kept referring to Bud as "Ed." We didn't know Bud as "Ed." 

I had planned to give my own eulogy for my dear cousin if I had attended. This is that eulogy.

Bud Tipton Funeral Service 

January 18, 2024

Good Morning. I am Ron Tipton, Bud Tipton’s first cousin. His family knows me as “Ronnie Tipton.” 

I am the guy in the famous “Fishing Picture.” 

I haven’t seen Bud in person for many years but we always kept in touch with the annual Christmas card exchange that so many of us do when we go different ways in our lives.

Every Sunday used to go to Ed and Mabel’s.

Our Mothers used to work together at Pepperridge Farm.

Both Bud and I love gardening and landscaping.

I always wanted to invite Bud down here to where I live in Delaware to show off my landscaping skills, which of course came no where near his skills. I regret now that I never got around to it.

For the last three years I have been the full-time caregiver to my 95 year old husband Bill Kelly who suffered a series of strokes. When Bill first came home from the rehab unit I was overwhelmed. I knew and admired Bud’s caregiving for his Mother Mabel. I called Bud and asked his advice at how to cope. Bud’s advice, which I have repeated many times to friends and family the past three years was “Ronnie,, you do what you have to do.” And that was Bud. A man of few words but meaningful and very practical help.

I wish I was there in person today for Bud’s services but I am thankful that I can share this memory with all of you who cared so much for this man who will be greatly missed by all those who knew him. Maybe I wasn’t able to share my garden with Bud in this life but I know Bud is in a perfect garden now and no doubt dispensing with his landscaping advice.

Thank you.

The eulogies were given by his nephew Anthony on behalf of his brother Joe (who lives in Croatia) and his niece Chrissie. They both delivered beautiful eulogies that captured the essence of my cousin Bud. One of his co-workers also delivered a heartfelt eulogy. Oh how I wish I could have rounded out those eulogies with my own. 

Rest in peace dear cousin. You leave a wonderful legacy behind. 

Bud in front of his house and his wonderful landscaping

Bud Tipton Obituary

Edward Walter "Bud" Tipton, Jr.
1941-2024

Normally I wouldn't post an obituary on this blog but but this obituary written for my cousin is perhaps the best obituary I have ever read. I suspect his niece wrote it, writing is her profession. She has worked for several newspapers. 

She has captured the essence of her Uncle Bud without being over fawning or too short. 

I will be unable to attend Bud's funeral which is this Thursday. His is the second funeral I've been unable to attend because I am caring for Bill. I had considered taking Bill with me for the two and a half hour ride to Pennsylvania and checking in a hotel overnight. Bill wants to see Pennsylvania one more time. However, two reasons I am unable to take him this time is because of the weather forecast for snow, rain and sleet. I'm also unable to make contact with his sister to confirm if I can speak a few words about my friend and cousin Bud. I also wanted to speak at my brother John's funeral last year but was advised they wanted to keep the funeral short and no one but the pastor would speak. I had left a message on his sister's phone that I would like to speak but I haven't received a response from her. I've called five times. Of course she's probably busy with making the arrangements and dealing with other family members. And perhaps it's just as well that I don't take Bill on that long trip to Pennsylvania. Bill continues to get weaker every day. A trip that length would be hard on both of us.  I believe Bud's funeral service will be live streamed. I'll watch that as I did his twin sister's funeral services a couple years ago. That was the first time I watched a live stream of a funeral service. What a wonderful service for those who cannot attend in person. But oh how I so wanted to attend his services. It just is not to be though.

Here is Bud's obituary:

Edward “Bud” Tipton Jr., 82, of Downingtown, passed away on Friday, January 12, 2024 at Accelerate Skilled Nursing and Rehabilitation, Exton.

Born in West Chester, Edward was the son of the late Edward W. and Mabel R. (Thompson) Tipton.

He served his country in the U.S. Army as a military policeman before joining Johnson Matthey in Malvern, Pa., in 1969, where he would go on to work as a cost estimator for 42 years and where he made many lifelong friends. 

Edward was an avid outdoorsman who was happiest in nature. He greatly looked forward to a yearly fishing trip with friends in the wooded hills of his parents’ native North Carolina, always triumphantly returning with coolers that brimmed with fresh brook trout. His skill as a fisherman was unmatched and he delighted in quietly, patiently, passing his knowledge on to others. 

The garden is yet another place Edward excelled, faithfully harvesting his (regionally) famed tomatoes and sweet corn each and every summer. He also grew an annual abundance of wildflowers which spilled over tidy borders in every shade of the rainbow. Edward’s green thumb was nowhere more apparent than his early autumn skin, an impossibly deep bronze that made his impossibly blue eyes twinkle and shine all the more. 

At the end of a long day, Edward enjoyed nothing more than retiring to his garage to watch the sunset with a stiff drink, his pipe and one of the several yellow Labrador retrievers he cared for over the years.

Edward was as comfortable with solitude as he was in a crowd. He was authentic and kindhearted. Generous in every respect. A calming and steady presence, a travel partner, a patriarch. A genuinely good and decent man, who was beloved by all who knew him. 

He will be, and already is, deeply missed.

He is survived by his sisters, Barbara Keehn and Janet Drozdowski, along with many nieces and nephews.

In addition to his parents, Edward was preceded in death by his twin sister Joan Tipton Salluzzo and his sister Linda Tipton.

A visitation will be held on Thursday, January 18, 2024 from 9:45-10:45 AM at James J. Terry Funeral Home, 736 E. Lancaster Ave., Downingtown, PA 19335. A funeral service will be held at 11 AM at the funeral home. Interment will follow at Union Hill Cemetery, Kennett Square.

Ten Things Time Has Taught Me

Me, 1958 - Young and Stupid

At my age (82), I have been reflecting on my life a lot lately. 

Have I had a good life? 

Yes! Absolutely!

Have I had difficulties?

Again, yes! Absolutely!

But here is what I know. I came across this list on a friend's Facebook post and the ten things time has taught me hit home with me. Read them and I'm confident these life lessons will connect with you too. Time for reflection folks.

10 THINGS TIME HAS TAUGHT ME

1. Most of our life is spent chasing false goals and worshipping fans ideals. The day you realize that is the day you really start to live.

2. You really, truly cannot please all of the people all of the time. Please yourself first and your loved ones second, everyone else is busy pleasing themselves anyway, trust me.

3. Fighting the aging process is like trying to catch the wind. Go with it, enjoy it. Your body is changing but it always has been. Don't waste time trying to reverse that, instead change your mindset to see the beauty in the new.

4. Nobody is perfect and nobody is truly happy with their lot. When that sinks in your are free of comparison and free of judgement. It's truly liberating.

5. No one really sees what you do right, everyone sees what you do wrong. When that becomes clear to you, you will start doing things for the right reason and you will start having so much more fun.

6. You will regret the years you spent berating your looks, the sooner you can make peace with the vessel your soul lives in, the better. Your body is amazing and important but it does not define you.

7. Your health is obviously important but stress, fear and worry are far more damaging than any delicious food or drink  you may deny yourself. Happiness and peace are the best medicine. 

8. Who will remember you and for what, become important factors as you age. Your love and your wisdom will live on far longer than any material thing you can pass down. Tell your stories, they can travel farther than you can imagine.

9. We are not here for long but if you are living against the wind it can feel like a life-sentence. Life should not feel like a chore, it should feel like an adventure.

10. Always, always, drink the good champagne and use the things you keep for "best". Tomorrow is guaranteed to no one. Today is a gift that's why we call it the present. Eat, Drink & Be Merry. 

Now, having said all this I wish I had bought that 2,000 of Apple stock when it was $25 a share in 1998 and accepted that first offer on our Pennsylvania house. 

What a wonderful journey this life has been. I'm thinking this even more today now that my cousin Bud has passed. We were the same age and alike in so many ways. His life journey on this planet has ended. I wonder where he is now and if we will ever see each other again. But I believe this is it. So make the most out of your life folks. Deal with the deck we were given at birth. We only go around once.