Results of Doctor's Appointment Today

Good news folks!  

This morning I had my annual ultra sound to check on the aneurism I have on my aorta valve. The technician said that it "looked better" than the image he took last year. He said it either "got better" or last year's picture was at a different/bad angle. He checked several angles this time and my aorta aneurism hadn't changed, which is GOOD NEWS. 

That means for now I can put at rest the need for finding someone to care for Bill should I need surgery. No surgery for now or for the rest of my life I hope! I've had enough surgery in my life. 

Now to continue with our life here on this rainy early winter day in southern Delaware. 

Have a great day everyone!

Ron's Medical Update

 

It was nice while it lasted, my brief respite from doctors' appointments. 

Tomorrow at 8:45 I have an appointment at my cardiologist's office for a vascular test. I've never had a vascular test before. I know I have hardening of my arteries. I'm old. I've read up on vascular testing and was relieved to find that it's not invasive or painful. Thank God, I've had enough of those procedures to last me a lifetime. 

So they find I have hardening of my arteries. What's next? A stent? That could be anything from an outpatient procedure to a four to seen day hospital stay. Who will take care of Bill if I'm in the hospital? He can't take care of himself. I have an idea in mind. No strangers in our house though. 

In a couple of weeks I am also scheduled for something called a Dopler test. I'll have to read up on that but again it is yet another test for my failing heart. 

I also have my annual full body check at my dermatologist coming up in two weeks. That's painful because I have to expose my sagging body to the (usual) very nice young lady who checks out this body that's been around the track more than a few times. Almost always they find something to burn off. Hopefully no more skin cancer sightings and just the pre cancerous keratosis lesions that they have been burning off for the past forty years. All that working on my tan in my Foolish Youth, I'm paying the price now.

These days I have a constant respiratory problem.  Phlegm constantly builds up on the base of my throat causing me to always clearing my throat. I take daily medication for this condition so at least I don't have the sensation of feeling like I'm choking. The medication moderates the condition but doesn't remove it. 

One condition I have that is causing me concern in the weakness in my legs. I'm unsteady on my feet. I find it extremely difficult to climb stairs.  And when I get down on the floor or ground, it is extremely difficult for me to get up because of the weakness in the back of my upper legs. I've had this condition going on over twenty-five years or more now. One of the reasons I wanted to move from our home in Pennsylvania that our house was on the side of a hill which I found difficult to walk around outside. I also had a problem walking upstairs to my bedroom and bathroom in that two story farmhouse style house. Here my bedroom is right round from the kitchen. We have three floors in this house though. When I go  upstairs or downstairs to Bill's bedroom I have to hand on the bannister. I manage but it is getting more difficult. 

I'm falling apart folks. Incrementally, but inevitably I am deteriorating. Now that I've bemoaned my failing physical condition I remind myself how lucky I am that I am still about to get around on my own and care for Bill. My eyesight is great now after my cataract surgery. I can hear good, even though I occasionally need my new hearing aids at the end of the day. My audiologist says I don't have "profound hearing loss" like Bill. By the way he has an audiology appointment next week. 

Yes, even though I have this myriad of medical issues I am way better off than many of my contemporaries. I take nothing for granted folks. And I am appreciative that I can still drive my car and otherwise function around the house here. Granted, I did realize my limitations when I had that kitten for a couple weeks. As much as I loved that kitten (and yes, I still miss her, she was a sweetheart) caring for her showed me I do have limitations. 

Now it is time for our Daily Ride. Today I'm making one of my almost daily trips to our local Food Lion supermarket. Have to get more egg nog for Bill's oatmeal. He LOVES that egg nog. It's made locally. Contains about 2,000 calories per cup, and cost $9.99. Yes, $9.99. That's up from $4.99 last year. 

Have a great day everyone!

Georgia Voters React To Walker In New Warnock Campaign Ad

Folks, I try to restrain from getting too political on my blog but I just couldn't pass up this new campaign ad against Herschel Walker, the Trump picked Republican who is running for senator in Georgia. First of all Herschel doesn't even live in Georgia (he lives in Texas). Yeah, that works out real well Trump. Remember how Trump chose Dr. Oz, who lives in New Jersey to run for senator in Pennsylvania? 

Today's MAGA Republicans and their cowardly enablers, have truly hit rock bottom with Herschel Walker. My God, the man is dumb as a rock. 

Wedding - How Times Have Changed

 

Ally Mason and Mary Tipton now Mason at their wedding 

Yesterday, my cousin Mary Tipton (first cousin once removed, her father John and I are first cousins) was married to her sweetheart Ally Mason. Bill and I were invited to the wedding but unfortunately we couldn't attend because of health and my caregiving responsibilities. Oh how I would like to have attended though. 

Mary is one of four daughters of one of my favorite cousins, John Tipton. He has four beautiful daughters and he is one of the best dads around. I am so happy for them. 

Cousin John with three of his beautiful daughters

Seeing my cousin getting married so publicly I can't help by remember the Bad Old Days when such a thing was unthinkable, a marriage between same sex couples. I can imagine what my Mother would say. 

I never thought I would see the day where my relatives and others would so freely lives their lives even though they are gay. My brother's granddaughter is openly gay. She came out in high school and never apologized or looked back. Good for her! 

Of course there have always been gays in our family, they just had to hide in the closet. I think of my Uncle George, my Mother's older brother. Every family has the Gay Uncle. I'm the Gay Uncle in my family.

George Lincoln Hadfield, Jr. - U. S. Army World War II 

Uncle George never married (of course). I told my Mother that her brother was probably gay but she refused to believe it. I didn't press the point. I remember fondly when Uncle George used to come our house at Christmastime with our Christmas present, a money envelope. I always used to get a special feeling when he came around. Oh how I wish I could talk to him today about what his life was like growing up. He was born in 1920 and died in 1982. 

Never in a million years did I think I would live long enough to see gay people live openly and love just like their straight counterparts. Even though these days The Right is trying to resurrect anti gay bias, the toothpaste is out of the tub folks. We're here and we aren't going anywhere, especially back in the closet. 

Have a happy life cousin Mary with your love Ally!

Mary Tipton and Ally Mason

Fall Cleanup

 

Jose and his landscaping crew helping me to keep a respectable house in the neighborhood

Pictured are my "Nice Landscaping" crew which I hired to do my fall cleanup. Jose is the leader. I had to catch him before he returned to Mexico for his three month winter solstice. 

There was a time when I was able to do my own fall cleanup. That was in the past. I noticed about ten years ago my body refused to cooperate with the all day labor required to do a proper fall cleanup. Year by year I noticed that I could no longer complete all my gardening chores. 

I remember those times when we lived in Pennsylvania. I would come home from working all day at the bank and work until dark on our 6.875 acres of land and think nothing of it. Of course that was over twenty years ago when I was a young whippersnapper of forty-five to fifty years old. I'm eighty-one years now. I have trouble walking. My endurance level is rapidly sinking. I seem to be exhausted all the time. I need my afternoon nap just to stay awake at night. 

My Mother encountered the same situation when she was in her sixties. She was used to working all day at Pepperidge Farms (frozen foods division, layer cake), coming home and hoeing four to eight rows of corn, and preparing a dinner for her family. By the way, remember when we used to all sit down for dinner? Wow, that was a different time wasn't it? But I digress. She noticed she was tired and went to the doctor to find out what the problem was. He asked her how old she was (he already knew). She told him and he responded "You're older. Your body is telling you to slow down. Conserve  hour energy." Of course I'm paraphrasing but that's the first time she was confronted with the reality of getting older. Same here folks. I'm old and I need HELP with my backyard chores.

Having said all this, I still enjoy working outside in our backyard oasis. I especially love my new pond which has clear water now that the cold has killed whatever algae was living there. Jose, my landscaper helper, realized that when he said he would leave some for me to do. Not that there isn't always something to do. Always!

Jose and his crew did a great job. Today I texted Devon of Power Washing to clean our front sidewalk and porch from the algae and dirt that had accumulated over the summer from all the vegetation. I think I've made my last lawn mowing pass. Time to settle in for the winter cold.

In years past at this time I would be preparing for my annual late fall trip to Philadelphia with Pat to visit our friend Don. For the third year in a row we won't be doing that because of my caregiving responsibilities for Bill. We would also be preparing for our annual trip to Palm Springs in late January and early February for Modernism Week. Again for the third year in a row we won't be making that trip either. Sometimes I wonder if I ever will make any trips again. But I can't fret over that possibility because my first priority is caring for Bill, who is well on is way to reaching one hundred years of age. We joke about that goal all the time but it is a real possibility because he's only six years away from one hundred years of age. And we all know how fast six years go by. And another factor, would I even want to travel six years from now because I would be 87 years old! These are the things I think about folks. However, for the time being we have our routine here which we have settled into. We have these occasional "bumps"in the road (like the little kitty I recently adopted but had to give up, who I still miss) but things could be a lot worse. We actually have a pretty good life here so I will continue to hire help to help us keep Casa Tipton-Kelly in tip top shape.

Thanksgiving 2022

Thanksgiving dinner 2003 at my friend's house - my last formal Thanksgiving dinner

 My brother Isaac asked me a few days ago "What are you doing for Thanksgiving?" This is a question I was often asked when I had a job. I hated that question. 

In the past I almost always worked on Thanksgiving Day. That was my preference, not a big sacrifice on my part. 

Oh for sure I appreciate what Thanksgiving stands for. I have much to be thankful for. Some of which I will list later in this blog post. But as for the day itself, I think that's for extended families My brother Isaac has an extended family. Either his son or his daughter invite him to their Thanksgiving dinner with their families.

Once a few years ago a good friend and former longtime school classmate invited me to his families' Thanksgiving dinner. That was nice. His wife had brined the turkey the night before which resulted in the best turkey I ever tasted. The rest of the meal and the family gathering was wonderful. I so appreciated that he invited me but I suspect he was trying to fix me up with his single cousin. I did notice we were conveniently paired up. She was nice but the ploy didn't work. I'm gay. I have a husband. And a good friend. Nice try. 

This year I'm not working so I will be at home with Bill. Our day will be like any other day. No complaints here other than I would like to have a turkey dinner but I'm just not going to go to all that trouble for myself. But that doesn't mean I'm not thankful. Here are a few things I'm thankful for:

That I'm able to care for Bill

That I'm still here after 81 years

That I'm in relative good health for an 81 year old

That I have a beautiful, comfortable home in a relatively friendly state for gay people (never completely free from homophobia). 

That our home is paid for - for that I am VERY thankful for!

That I still have good friends after having lost so many friends to death.

That I live in this country, imperfect as it is, I would rather live no where else in the world. 

There are many more things I am thankful for, but these few are the first that come to my mind. 

I hope you all have an equally thankful Thanksgiving.

"Jim"

 

"Jim" preparing our meal in my shabby furnished apartment in Coatesville, PA circa 1963, a whole lifetime ago

Ever wonder what happened to your first boyfriend?

Lately I've been reviewing my past life (I'm really old at 81 year now).

Sixty years ago when I was 21 years old was the first time I went to a gay bar. 

The year was 1963 and I was recently out of the Army after a three year stint. 

My first gay bar was actually in Clairton, Pennsylvania, near Pittsburgh. I lived in Pittsburgh for three months but was very lonely. I didn't know what was all involved in being gay, believe it or not. I'll go into that in a later blog post.  I have gone into my gay awakening in previous blog posts but I can do it again for those who haven't read my old posts.

Anyway, I moved back to my hometown of Downingtown. I got an apartment in Coatesville, Pennsylvania, near my former home with my parents. I still wanted to get "involved" in the gay life but on familiar ground and with friends nearby. As I said before I was very lonely in Pittsburgh. I only went to Pittsburgh after I got out of the Army because a friend of mine from the Air Force lived there.  I didn't want to come out near where my parents lived because I didn't want to embarrass them. Remember, this was the Bad Old Times when being a HOMOSEXUAL was illegal and a shame that a family just couldn't deal with.

After I got my apartment in Coatesville I began going to the Westbury Bar in center city Philadelphia at 15th and Spruce Streets with my friends Ed and Ron H. One night I met a very nice guy who was about three years old than me whose name was Jim Groh. 

He liked me and I liked him. I don't remember the exact details of our first "time" but I do remember he didn't have a car nor did I. Coatesville is about forty-two miles west of Philadelphia. Jim would take the train out from Philadelphia on a Friday night and we would spend the weekend together at my dumpy, two room, furnished apartment in Coatesville. 

We enjoyed each others' company. We would usually play board games, cook, take a walk and talk and of course get in bed together. For several months that worked for us but me, being a young ready to go gay guy just discovering himself, wanted to "go out" again. Jim was reluctant to go out, back to the bar but he relented under my pressure. It didn't go well. 

When we were in the Westbury he wasn't going to let me met anyone else. He literally had me cornered in the bar. Way too protective. Oh no, I wasn't ready to settle down. Whatever you think of me, that's just the way I felt in those heady days. 

A few weeks after that disastrous visit to the Westbury Bar I broke off our relationship. 

The last time I saw Jim was at Broad and Chestnut Streets in Philadelphia. By then I was with Bill (who didn't mind me "going out"). I had some of Jim's water color paintings and he wanted them back which, of course I was going to return them to him. I had arranged to met Jim outside the bank where I worked at lunchtime. As I gave him his watercolor pictures I saw the sadness on his face. I've never seen him since. 

The past year or so I've been recalling different episodes of my early life, wondering who was still alive.  Almost all of my previous boyfriends have died. However, I think I found Jim. I did an Internet search and found a "James A. Groh" who lives in an apartment in Northeast Philadelphia. The age was appropriate (three years old than me) and the "A" in his middle name stands for "Alexander." I wrote him a letter and sent it to his address but I haven't received an answer. I'm still pretty sure that "Jim" is my "Jim" so I have to assume he doesn't want to reconnect.

In years past I have contacted previous friends, both amorous and just friends. Two responded but not in person. Both have since died before I really had a chance to talk to them to find out what their lives were like the past fifty years or so. One didn't respond but did let us know (he was Bill's friend before me) he didn't want to reconnect. He also has since died.

So I will make one more attempt to reconnect with Jim with this blog post. If you're out there Jim let me know. If not, I understand, you have moved on. But if you do read this blog post know that I always cared for you and have often thought of you over the years and wondered what kind of life you had. I have always appreciated the kindness and generosity you showed to me when I was a young, foolish and selfish twenty-one year old gay guy. I hope you have had a good and rewarding life. And by the way, I still have that forty-five place setting you gave to me for Christmas in 1963. 

Jim and me horse playing. These are the only two photos I have of us.